


Can You See Me?

by clexawarrior



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-09-19 08:46:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 106,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9431327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clexawarrior/pseuds/clexawarrior
Summary: After blowing up a bridge full of Grounders, Clarke makes it her mission to nurse one surviving warrior back to health. Lexa, the survivor, wakes up to find herself alone in the camp of the enemy, wanting nothing more than to be returned to her own people. Until she realizes that she might not want that anymore.Canon up until 1x10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, gonas kom Clexakru! After a few weeks away, I am finally back with a new story, which I know a few of you have been waiting for. Whether you've read my stories before or not, I hope that you will enjoy this one. I can't wait to hear what you think! :D
> 
> My beta for this story is my friend RhydianKnight, who I can always count on to help me out when I'm having trouble with a scene XD

When Clarke was sitting in the dropship with a cool rag pressed to Bellamy's forehead, waiting for her people to blow up the bridge, she had no idea how much that one small action was about to change her entire life.

Right then, she was busy worrying about the amount of people who had fallen ill. There was no way her people would stand a chance against the Grounders, should they fail to destroy the bridge. They didn't even have an army left. All of their best shooters were down.

Clarke turned her head as Finn burst into the dropship, eyes wide, and she felt dread pool in her stomach at the sight. He was the one who was supposed to go plant the bomb. Something had obviously gone wrong. Clarke tried not to show how afraid she was as she hurried over to meet him. Her people were out of their depth with these warriors from the ground, and she didn't want to have to give the order for her people to fight when she knew that it would most likely send them to their deaths. "Finn, what's wrong? It didn't work, did it?"

"I didn't take it yet," he said, "but it's gone. Raven took it, and she's going to set it off on her own."

Clarke shook her head in confusion. "That doesn't make any sense. Raven's not a trained shooter, and she's smarter than that. She knows that she won't be able to hit that target from far away."

"Exactly." Clarke could hear the blatant worry in Finn's tone, and that's when it hit her.

Raven wasn't planning on hitting the target from far away.

She was going to blow herself up with the bridge.

Clarke was instantly worried herself. She had grown quite close to Raven in her time on the ground, despite their issues with Finn, and she didn't want anything to happen to the other girl. "This isn't about us, is it? About what happened between you and me?"

"I don't know. She probably just saw Bellamy catch the sickness, and so she took it upon herself to save the rest of us." He couldn't quite hide the guilt from his voice, and Clarke instantly felt it as well. Try as she might to push away her feelings for Finn, since he had broken her heart by choosing Raven, her original attraction for the boy was still there, and she knew that Raven probably saw that, too. Clarke hoped that the older girl wouldn't go and do anything stupid because of this when Clarke didn't intend to act on that attraction ever again.

Clarke snapped to attention when she realized that Finn was still waiting for an answer, his thoughts probably taking a similar path to the one hers had just been on. "She wouldn't do that, would she?"

"I think she'd do anything for her people."

Finn was right. Clarke would, too. "Well, don't just stand there. We have to go after her."

"We? Clarke, you're sick. You're not going anywhere." Finn tried to reason with her, but Clarke wasn't having it.

"I'm coming, and that's that," Clarke said authoritatively. "If I need to slow down, you can go on without me. It's not like I can't find my own way to the bridge."

"I wasn't saying—"

Clarke walked away before he could finish, successfully cutting him off. She wasn't trying to be rude, but his insinuation that she was somehow less competent than him because she had not been immune to the sickness didn't sit well with her. She wasn't sick anymore, and she needed to be there for Raven, just in case they were too late. Clarke quickly stuffed the pockets of her jacket with as many medical supplies as she thought she might need to treat the wounds from an explosion and raced out of the dropship after Finn, hoping that she wouldn't need to use them.

Questioning brown eyes bore into Clarke's back as she pushed her way into the growing sunlight, but she didn't even bother to give Bellamy an explanation. Sure, he and she were getting along much better these days, and she was actually starting to trust him to lead beside her, but he was too sick to follow, and she couldn't waste time explaining things to him when Raven's life was in danger. Besides, she knew that he would be well looked after in the hands of his sister.

Jasper was waiting for Clarke and Finn at the gate, holding a gun, and Clarke nodded to him. "Are you our shooter?"

"I was the only one left." He looked uncertain about his shooting abilities.

"Hey," Clarke said as they set out into the forest. "You've gained quite a following around camp for shooting those Grounders at the bridge. Even if I don't personally agree that they were gonna attack, I can still admit that you were a good shot. You can make this shot, too."

He nodded in agreement, looking much more confident, and Clarke grabbed the two boys by the sleeves of their jackets, pulling them into a run. Even though she was keeping pace with them, Clarke soon found herself feeling quite out of breath, and she thought that maybe running so fast so shortly after her recovery might not have been such a great idea, after all. Still, she couldn't help but picture Raven exploding into tiny little bits, Raven's mangled body hanging from a nearby tree that it had been blown into. She was the only one with medical training, so she needed to get there as soon as she could. Her lungs felt like they were about to burst, and her heart was beating wildly in her chest, but she pushed on. Sweat was pouring down her back when she reached the bridge, and she sighed in relief when she saw Raven sitting on top of it, still setting up the bomb. "She's okay."

"She's okay," Finn repeated with a small smile.

When Raven began to walk away from the can that housed the explosive, she fell to the ground after a few steps. Clarke's eyes widened in realization.

Raven had caught the sickness.

She slowly turned to point her gun at the X on the can, and Finn was running through the trees faster than Clarke had ever seen anyone run in her life. He ran out onto the bridge and scooped Raven up before she could pull the trigger. Clarke let out an immense sigh of relief when she saw the two of them ducking into the undergrowth a safe distance away.

"Shoot, Jasper, shoot!" Finn shouted, and Jasper fired his first shot, which barely missed the can. Clarke thought about giving the boy a pep talk, but she thought that that would only serve to make him more nervous. She felt her heart leap in her chest when he missed the next shot and the next, and she almost threw up when she heard the click that meant that there were no more bullets left.

Grounders began to spill out onto the bridge, and Jasper looked down at his gun in disbelief. "Oh, damn it. Damn it!"

"It's fine," Clarke told him, even though she knew it wasn't, "but we need to get the hell out of here before they reach the other side."

With the amount of Grounders that she could see coming their way, she knew that they would be wiped out within seconds if they stayed anywhere close to here. They still had a chance to get back and inform the camp of their failure, and that's what Clarke intended to do. She turned around and almost collided with Monty, who was running their way with another gun in hand. In that moment, Clarke felt that she had never seen anything more beautiful.

"You call that shooting?" Monty shoved the weapon into Jasper's hands.

"Monty?" the other boy said in disbelief as he accepted it. "Last time was a fluke. I—I panicked."

"So what? You still made the shot, right?"

"Twice."

"Thank God you're here." Clarke added her surprise and gratitude to the mix. "I thought we were gonna have to make a run for it."

"We haven't succeeded yet," Monty reminded her before turning back to Jasper with a serious look. "Don't miss."

"How many rounds?" Jasper asked.

"Three." Jasper looked up at Monty in apprehension, and the other boy's expression softened. "You got this."

Jasper nodded before turning to Clarke with a questioning look, asking for permission. Clarke knew exactly why. The original plan had been to blow up the bridge without harming any Grounders, but that would be impossible now that the first few Grounders had already reached the other side. Clarke hated being in these positions, giving her people the okay to take the lives of others, but in this case, she had to. If she didn't allow these Grounders to die, then all of her people would be wiped out. With the dropship that had blown up a few days ago and the lost communication with the Ark, this small group of delinquents might be the only people that Clarke had left. Since they all looked to her as a leader, she would be damned if she didn't protect each and every one.

She gave Jasper a nod, and his brows furrowed in concentration as he fired a shot into the midst of the army, hitting a Grounder in the shin and causing the warriors around him to scatter away, leaving a clear shot to the can. Thankfully, they hadn't removed this in their trek across the bridge, probably thinking it to be nothing more than a piece of trash. Oh, how wrong they were.

Another shot rang out.

This time, Jasper didn't miss.

A deafening explosion emitted from the can, rattling the teeth in Clarke's mouth, and she didn't even want to think about what it must feel like for those who were standing much closer than she was. For a moment, all the blonde girl could do was stare up at the giant mushroom cloud that had emerged in awe, marveling at the genius it must have taken to make such a huge explosion come from such a tiny device. The boys beside Clarke were doing the same, similar expressions of awe written across their own faces when Clarke turned to them.

"Come on," Clarke said. "Let's go make sure that Finn and Raven are alright."

They nodded, still too in shock to give a verbal response, and Clarke hurried to the bushes that she had seen Raven and Finn duck behind. When she got there, a twinge of worry sprang up in her chest when she saw only Raven crouching there. Clarke knew her worry was illogical. Raven would've been crying if anything had happened to the boy, and the Grounders had to all be dead at this point. Yet, Clarke was still concerned about Finn's wellbeing.

"Where's Finn?" she asked.

Raven pointed in the direction of the place where the bridge used to be. "He went down to the water to look for survivors."

"Are you okay to walk?" Clarke couldn't miss the stream of red that was oozing from Raven's nose.

Raven wiped away the blood and rose shakily to her feet. "Of course."

Clarke shot a look at Japer and Monty over the other girl's head, silently telling them to keep an eye on her as the blonde hurried down the riverbank at a brisk pace. She might not want a relationship with Finn anymore, but the fact that she still felt something for him was crystal clear to her, no matter how much she didn't want to.

Her stomach churned in revulsion when she noticed how many bodies now lay on this side of the river. There had to be at least thirty, and the knot that was forming in Clarke's stomach coiled even tighter when she realized that one of the bodies belonged to a child. The young girl wasn't as badly burned as some of the others, but Clarke knew that the small warrior's eyelids would never open again.

And it was all Clarke's fault.

Her thoughts of disgust towards herself and her people quickly dissipated when she saw that Finn was alive and well, making his way through the bodies to see if anyone might have miraculously survived. She was so relieved that she wanted to throw herself into his arms. Thankfully, she did not.

Instead, she made her way over to him in a cool and collected manner, and he turned to her with a small smile. "It's good to see you're alive."

"Right back atcha," Clarke returned with a smile of her own.

"Jasper, give me that gun," Finn called, catching the weapon when it was thrown his way. "This man's still alive."

Clarke barely even registered what was happening when she realized that Finn was standing over a man who was gasping for breath. Before she could even say a word, though, a shot rang out, and a hole was blasted right through the Grounder man's head. Tears pooled at the corners of Clarke's eyes at the sight of another death that she was responsible for, and she suddenly felt a strong anger coursing through her veins. "Why the hell would you do that?"

"He was dying," Finn pointed out. "I only wanted to end his suffering."

"I might have been able to save him," Clarke argued.

"Listen, Clarke," Finn said calmly. "These people were coming to attack our camp, and it's clear that we're not getting that peace anytime soon, thanks to some people." He shot a pointed glare at Jasper, who suddenly found something very interesting in the trees above. "If you did save that man, who's to say he wouldn't try to wipe out our camp once he recovers?"

Clarke had to admit that he had a point, but she couldn't help the fact that it made her uneasy. "We should've at least given him a chance. This isn't the way we do things."

"We just blew up an entire bridge full of these guys, Clarke." Finn was becoming irritated as well. "You don't get to suddenly become all high and mighty now. I'm only trying to protect you."

Clarke wished that she didn't notice the way that Raven winced at the statement. She also wished that the statement hadn't been said at all. She wanted to argue with Finn, wanted to scream at him that she hadn't wanted to kill a single one of these people, that it tore her apart inside to see all the lives that had been lost because of her. She couldn't bear to kill any more people today, but before she could say any of this, Raven spoke up from a few paces away. "This girl is alive, too."

Finn started over with his gun, but Clarke placed a gentle hand on his arm, doing her best version of the puppy eyes that she had seen in old cartoons. "Please let me check this one out first."

They held each other's gaze for several long seconds before Finn finally sighed, lowering his gun. "Whatever you say, Princess."

Clarke closed the short distance between she and Raven and was slightly surprised to look down into the face of a girl that couldn't be much older than her. She could have been one of Clarke's own people were it not for her Grounder clothes and hairstyle, and her younger age made her seem more human somehow. Finn might've wanted to kill her, but Clarke didn't think she ever could. The girl's long brunette hair was pulled back in a series of intricate braids, and thick black war paint was smeared over striking green eyes. Clarke was amazed by the Grounder's exotic beauty, but she quickly shook her head of such thoughts, crouching down beside her.

"She's only a child," Clarke said to Finn, "just like we are, and we're _not_ killing her. I'm gonna try to save her."

Finn nodded reluctantly, clearly thinking that this girl wouldn't be much of a threat, and Clarke instantly turned her attention back to the Grounder that was lying beside her, scanning her for signs of a wound. The girl was clutching tightly to her gut, telling Clarke that that was the location of the most dangerous wound, and Clarke knew she needed to get to work quickly. The girl's breathing was ragged, and a thin trail of blood was flowing from her mouth, blood that appeared to be black, but Clarke couldn't focus on that right now. Instead, she focused on the fact that the light was slowly fading out of the other girl's green eyes, telling Clarke that the warrior was close to death. She knew that it would be a challenge to save her, but she also knew that she would never forgive herself if she didn't at least try.

"Can you move your hands, please?" Clarke asked gently, trying to convey with her eyes that she meant this young warrior no harm.

Green eyes blazed with more life than Clarke had seen in them yet, as if daring Clarke to touch the wound that she was clutching so desperately.

"Please," Clarke tried again, wanting, _needing_ , to save this girl's life in order to make up for the ones she had taken. "I'm not going to hurt you, but if you let me see your wound, I might be able to heal you."

The brunette warrior didn't budge, still glaring up at Clarke, and the blonde wondered if she was just stubborn or if she didn't understand a word that Clarke was saying. She remembered Octavia telling her about how Lincoln had said that not all of his people chose to learn the language of the enemy. This was more than likely the case with the girl in front of Clarke, although she couldn't be sure, because she had yet to see any kind of reaction to the words she was saying.

Knowing that she would need to communicate with this warrior in another way, Clarke racked her brain for ideas, but she came up blank. She knew that the only way was to remove the Grounder's hands herself. She chided herself for being slightly nervous about doing so, telling herself that this girl was dying, and there was no way that she would be able to harm Clarke for touching her. Still, Clarke's touch was tentative when she grabbed the hands that were over the wound and moved them away. The warrior's hands almost fell away of their own accord, and Clarke knew that she shouldn't have been surprised. It was probably taking a lot of energy to keep them there when she was losing so much blood.

So much strange black blood.

Now that the hands were out of the way, Clarke quickly unbuckled the girl's shoulder guard, moving that away before opening up the buckles of the long flowing black coat that she wore. Upon moving up what was left of the shirt underneath, Clarke saw that a fair amount of shrapnel had lodged itself in the brunette's stomach, and she was instantly confused. If the Grounder had landed on this side of the river, she had to have been across the bridge when that bomb went off, meaning that the shrapnel should've entered through her back, not her stomach. She realized, then, that this warrior must've turned around to help the Grounder that Jasper had shot right before shooting the can. This poor girl had tried to be a hero, tried to save her fallen comrade. Now, that man had been blown to bits, and this girl was dying on the riverbank.

Because of Clarke.

The blonde swallowed thickly at the thought. She wasn't going to let this girl die.

"Does anyone have a flashlight?" Clarke called back, smiling in relief when Raven procured one from her coat pocket. "Hold it over her so I can see."

Raven moved to follow Clarke's instructions, but the blonde held up a hand to stop her. "You need to go back to camp, Raven. You're sick. Finn can hold the flashlight, and Jasper and Monty can escort you."

"I'll be perfectly fine getting back to camp on my own, you know," Raven argued.

"Yes, but I need someone to bring back a stretcher for this girl once I save her, and there's no way that's going to be you." Clarke shot a pointed glare at Raven. "So, Jasper and Monty have to go back anyway."

"You think you can save her?" Monty asked.

Clarke looked at the girl for a long moment before turning her gaze back up to Monty. "I hope so."

He nodded back to her before setting off into the trees after his companions, and Clarke turned her attention back to the girl on the ground as Finn held the light overhead. Clarke only hoped that the battery wouldn't die.

The Grounder's stomach was pretty torn up, but Clarke knew that there was probably enough skin left to stitch her up, if she could successfully remove the shrapnel before the warrior bled to death. Clarke thought about just trying to stop the bleeding as best she could, but that would only prolong what would be a certain death for the poor girl.

After commanding Finn to crouch down so that the light would be right over the other girl's belly, Clarke pulled out her supplies, thanking anyone who might be listening that she had thought to bring tweezers, for they would make it much easier for her to grab the debris. Green eyes filled with apprehension at the sight of the tweezers, but Clarke just ignored her in favor of going into doctor mode. She knew that she was going to need to, if she wanted to bring this girl back alive.

She quickly rinsed her hands with alcohol before carefully settling her fingers into the first wound, pulling it open a little further so that she could have easy access to the debris that was inside. Her tweezers slowly made their way into the other girl, gently grasping a formidable sized chunk of rock and cautiously pulling it free. She was glad to see that that piece, at least, hadn't hit any major organs.

She wondered whether it would be better to clean out and stitch up each wound as she went along to reduce blood loss or whether she needed to get all the shrapnel out first. She froze for a moment in panic, unsure of what would be best. It was times like these when she wished that her mother were here to help her. She tried not to think about the fact that her mother might never be there to help her again. If the older woman had been on that dropship that crashed two days ago, then Clarke certainly needed to have more than mediocre medical skills, considering that she was the only one who had any at all.

Shaking her head to clear it of her thoughts, Clarke turned her attention back to her new patient, deciding to remove all of the shrapnel as quickly as she could. As she worked, the poor girl being operated on was whimpering in pain, and Clarke suddenly wished that she had brought one of the few sedatives that her mother had provided her with before sending her to the ground. However, she hadn't thought to bring one, and she found herself wishing that she could hold the girl's hand or stroke her hair or at least do something to soothe her, but she needed both of her hands to save the Grounder. The cries of pain were pulling on Clarke's heartstrings, and she wished, in that moment, that she could be more like her mother.

Clarke soon found that a small chunk of debris had hit the girl's stomach and torn at the organ; it hadn't been completely torn open or the brunette would most likely have been dead by now, but it would probably tear on its own if Clarke didn't do anything to fix it. She quickly looked for more shrapnel, and when she was sure all of it was out, she began to clean the wounds out as best as she could, again wishing that her mother was there to make sure she was doing it right. She had watched her mother countless times, and she knew that she was doing a perfect job, but she still couldn't help but worry that she was messing something up.

Once the open wounds were cleaned out to prevent infection, Clarke began to stitch up the other girl's stomach with absorbable stitches, being extra careful and making certain that it would never tear open all the way. Then, she began pulling the skin back together to close up all of the areas where it had been torn apart, ignoring the brunette's constant cries of pain. She knew that she was hurting the girl; she had to in order to save her. If she kept stopping every time the brunette cried out, the warrior would bleed to death, and Clarke couldn't have that. She threaded her stitches expertly through the skin, quickly patching up each of the still-bleeding wounds, and she was proud of the warrior for not losing consciousness. She knew that it must be taking a lot of fight because the pain was more than likely overwhelming at this point.

When Clarke finally set her needle aside, the poor girl's stomach was more stitches than skin, but the stitches held, and there was no more blood seeping from the wounds. Clarke smiled in satisfaction, wiping away the drying blood before grabbing her roll of bandages and wrapping the Grounder's entire midsection to keep any germs out.

Once the Grounder was all patched up, Clarke was slightly surprised that the brunette was still alive, that she had actually made it through this entire ordeal. Clarke had seen the hearts of patients stop many times during surgeries back on the Ark, and Clarke had been so worried that this Grounder's heart would give out on her today. If it had, she wouldn't have had the technology to revive the brunette, like she had watched her mom do countless times. Now, though, Clarke had high hopes that this Grounder was actually going to make it through the night. She gave the girl's bandaged stomach a light pat before backing away a bit, immediately met with questioning green eyes. Clarke couldn't help but notice that the girl's eyes were a beautiful shade, like the trees all around them, and she found herself smiling warmly at the warrior as she answered. "I'm all done now. I was worried for a while, but I think you're gonna make it."

Clarke didn't know if the Grounder understood her words, but she seemed to get the premise, running a hand over her bandaged stomach before looking up at Clarke with gratitude clear in her eyes. The blonde dipped her head in acknowledgement. Clarke's eyes widened when she saw the warrior beside her try to push herself into a sitting position seconds later, screaming in pain when she moved. The blonde might've worked a miracle by saving her, but that didn't mean that Clarke had actually performed some sort of magic.

Clarke shushed the other girl, gently pushing her back to lie on the ground. "Just lie still, okay? You shouldn't be moving around much, if you're hoping to heal anytime soon. You need to rest."

The Grounder huffed in annoyance, and Clarke laughed at the childish pout that was now adorning her face. However, she slumped in defeat, clearly allowing her exhaustion from the trauma of the situation take over as she finally allowed her pretty green eyes to close. Clarke hoped it wasn't a bad sign that the Grounder was losing consciousness, but she decided to let her sleep, knowing that the poor thing was probably in a lot of pain. She moved her hand up to the Grounder's forehead to check for any signs of fever and was relieved to feel that the other girl's forehead felt no different than hers. The blonde accidentally knocked off the warrior's forehead decal with her motion, but she decided to just leave it with the shoulder guard. The brunette wouldn't need these things in the healing process, and Clarke knew that the Grounder probably had an endless supply of such things back at her own home.

Rays of sunlight broke through the trees and dappled the ground as Clarke waited for Jasper and Monty to bring back the stretcher, and she knew that it must be sometime in the afternoon now. She suddenly felt the exhaustion from performing the surgery wash over her, not to mention the fact that she had been up half of the previous night with all of the sick people in the dropship. She had almost forgotten that Finn was still sitting a few feet away until he spoke, playing with the now-turned-off flashlight. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Bringing her back to camp?" Clarke gestured to the girl beside her, and Finn nodded. "I guess we'll find out when we get there, won't we?" Clarke couldn't help a little bit of irritation from creeping into her voice. She cared about Finn, sure, but she was still angry with him for murdering that man so easily. For wanting to murder this young girl.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

Clarke began to lose her patience with him, not wanting to answer such a personal question when her emotions were still on such a high. She didn't want to admit to him yet that she felt so responsible for what they had just done. She was slightly unsettled at the way that it didn't seem to bother him at all. "Because this is what I do, Finn. I save people."

"Even savages?" he asked quietly.

The blonde suddenly felt defensive of her new patient. "Did she look like a savage when she was on the ground crying in pain?"

"Well, no, but she is a Grounder. They're dangerous, and we have to be careful."

"Finn, she can barely even move. I don't think she's going to be terrorizing the camp anytime soon."

The boy was silent for a moment before admitting what appeared to be the real reason that he was so opposed to the idea of bringing this girl back with them. "The others won't like it. Do we really need to start something with our people, with Bellamy, all to save some girl who might turn on us the minute she can walk again?"

Clarke's shoulders slumped in defeat when she realized how right Finn actually was. "I know they won't like it, but I have to do this, Finn. I really have to, so I'll deal with the others myself."

"I hope they're not too hard on you."

Clarke could hear the genuine care in his voice, and she wished that she could still love him the way that she thought she had in their first days on the ground. Back then, she would've loved to have him care about her so much, but she wasn't sure that she wanted that anymore.

A rustling in the trees sent Clarke springing to her feet, hoping that she would be able to defend herself if a Grounder should appear. She especially worried that said Grounder might take away the one who was currently lying unconscious at her feet. Clarke sighed in immense relief when she realized that it was only Jasper and Monty, finally back from their trip to camp to grab one of their people's makeshift stretchers, which they had constructed in case of emergencies, like this one.

"Be careful with her when you put her on that thing," Clarke instructed, not wanting all of her efforts to be for nothing. "Try not to move her too much."

"Will do," Jasper said. "I take it you were able to save her then?"

Clarke nodded. "I was."

"Great work, Clarke," Monty said with a smile, patting the blonde girl on the back. "I knew you could do it."

Clarke felt a smile creep onto her own face at the thought that she had actually done something right, saved someone all on her own. If this warrior made it through the night, than that meant that Clarke had saved someone without her mom's help, without anyone's help. Maybe she wasn't such a terrible person, after all.

As Jasper and Monty lifted the Grounder onto the stretcher, they were sure to be as careful as possible, according to Clarke's previous instructions. The blonde watched as the poor girl groaned in pain at the small movement, clutching at her stomach, but her eyelids did not even flutter.

As she and the boys trekked back to camp, Clarke found herself wanting to reach out and rest her hand over the Grounder's, even though the other girl wouldn't be able to feel it. The blonde felt terrible about all of the pain she had just put the warrior through, and she knew that the girl was going to have a rough couple of weeks ahead of her. As they got closer to their destination, though, Clarke's thoughts shifted to her people and how they would react to the girl she was bringing back. Most of her people hated the Grounders, especially now that the two peoples were officially at war, and Clarke had no idea how she was going to convince her people that it was even remotely safe to bring one of their enemies into the camp. All she knew was that she had to try. She had to save this one life to make up for all of the lives that she had taken today. She knew in her heart, though, that saving this one girl was going to do little to ease her guilt. Maybe Finn was right. Maybe it wasn't worth it to bring this girl back to camp when it would cause so much trouble. She and Bellamy were just starting to get along, and this would surely cause a rift between them, possibly an irreparable one.

Maybe it would've been better if Clarke had just let the girl die.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I told some of you that this wouldn't be up until Sunday, but I actually had time to get it ready by today, so I hope that is a nice little surprise :)
> 
> This chapter features some Trigedasleng, and the translations can be found in the notes at the bottom. Enjoy!

When Clarke and the others reached their camp, she was surprised that the guards were so quick to open the gates for them when they had a Grounder with them. Then again, they probably didn't have a good view of the girl, most likely assuming that it was one of their own that had been wounded. Clarke wondered what they would think when they realized that she was trying to bring one of their enemies right into the heart of their camp. She supposed she was about to find out.

As she walked past Connor and Dolian, she could see them shooting wary glances at the girl on the stretcher, but they allowed Clarke and her friends to pass. She could feel their questioning gazes on her, but she chose not to say anything, wanting to save all of her justifications for later when she had to face Bellamy.

She had hoped that she could make it all the way into camp without any opposition, but she had no such luck. Bellamy was already heading across the camp to meet them, and Clarke couldn't help but cringe at the sight. He was the one who hated the Grounders most, it seemed, and Clarke had honestly been hoping that he would still be down with the sickness when she returned. She had wanted to at least get her new patient settled in before she had to plead for the other girl's life. Clarke closed her eyes, letting go of all of her resentful thoughts towards Bellamy, and she forced a smile onto her face when she opened them again.

"Clarke." He sounded relieved when he reached her. "Did it work? The bridge is gone?"

The blonde nodded. "Didn't you see the smoke?"

"I was still sick at the time, but I was told about it. But you were gone for so long that I was starting to have my doubts."

Clarke fidgeted, trying her best not to appear nervous. "I was looking for Grounders that might have survived the explosion."

Bellamy's eyes widened at this thought that clearly hadn't even crossed his mind once. "Were there any?"

"Yeah, actually. Finn killed one of them, and the other—well, I…" Clarke trailed off, wondering if it would be a better idea for her to lie and say that both survivors were now dead. She knew it was a ridiculous thought, as the girl was lying on a stretcher right behind her, but it was too late now anyway. It didn't take long for Bellamy to put the pieces together when he caught sight of the girl on the stretcher, and Clarke wished that she could've been surprised by the anger that sprang up in his eyes.

"You brought her back to our camp?" he hissed.

Clarke had thought about pleading, but suddenly, she didn't want to. She wanted to be confident, stand tall and meet Bellamy's fire with her own. "Yes."

Her gaze never wavered from his.

"Why the hell would you do that?" he asked, his voice starting to raise.

"Do what?" Murphy wandered over at that moment, seemingly attracted by the argument, and Clarke wished that she could sink through the ground. She knew that his appearance just decreased her chance of getting anywhere with the boy in front of her.

"Clarke had the brilliant idea of bringing a Grounder into our camp," Bellamy said sternly. "Apparently, there were two survivors, and Finn killed one. If even Mr. Let's Make Peace thought these Grounders needed to die, then there's no way that it can be safe to bring this girl in here."

"So, kill her now." Murphy shrugged, looking as if he was wondering why Bellamy hadn't done it already. "I mean, she's unconscious, so it's not like she'll attack you."

Bellamy nodded in agreement, and Clarke felt tears pooling in her eyes again at the confirmation that he wanted to go along with Murphy's insane idea. Clarke knew that she hadn't known this Grounder for more than a few hours, but she hated the thought of this girl being killed. The blonde had all but promised this warrior that she would survive, and Clarke didn't think that she could bear it if she had to watch Bellamy murder the Grounder in cold blood. Dread pooled in her stomach when she watched Bellamy slide his knife from the pocket of his gray coat.

"We're not killing her." Clarke tried to keep her authoritative tone. "She's a little girl."

"She's not a little girl, Clarke," Bellamy argued. "She's no younger than we are."

" _We_ are kids, Bellamy, don't you get it? You may not be, but the rest of us are. That's why we got sent down here in the first place. We were locked up in the Sky Box instead of being floated on the spot for a reason. Technically, we're all still children, and if she's our age, then so is she." Clarke paused for a moment, allowing the words to sink in, hoping that Bellamy was actually listening. "We don't kill children."

Bellamy was silent for a long moment, and Clarke shifted from foot to foot, unable to bear his indecisiveness. She was tired of waiting for an answer, and she wanted to know the outcome of her argument now. All she knew was that she was prepared to fight him if it came to it.

When she found that she couldn't take it anymore, she decided to add one more thing. The one thing that she knew would win him over. "You came down here to protect Octavia because she is the most important thing in the world to you. Think about that for a moment, and then remember that we know nothing about this girl. She could have an older brother who is worried to death about her right now, who might even think she's dead because he didn't get the chance to protect her." Clarke took a step closer, blue eyes shining with nothing but seriousness. "She could be somebody's Octavia, Bell."

After a few more seconds of contemplation, he slowly nodded. "Fine. She can stay."

Clarke's shoulders slumped in relief, and she let out a long breath that she hadn't even realized she had been holding. It seemed that her relief was a bit too obvious because Bellamy was speaking again before she even had time to respond. "But if she makes one wrong move or tries to attack anyone, she dies. Are we clear?"

The blonde simply nodded along, not wanting to press her luck any further, even though she knew that she would never let Bellamy harm her new patient, no matter what the warrior did. They didn't need to be like the Grounders or the Council on the Ark. They had a chance to become their own people, make their own rules, and Clarke was determined not to let them kill people for every little crime.

"What the hell, Bellamy?" Murphy was clearly not at all happy with the agreement that the two had come to.

"Clarke's right, Murphy. You know how I feel about my little sister, and I don't want to have to kill someone else's, if I can help it."

Clarke barely held back a scoff. He didn't have to kill this girl period. If he really cared so much about anyone other than himself, then he would see that killing people, just because they were different than his own people, was not right. Ever. Clarke wondered why she was the only one here with a conscience.

"She's not one of us. She's one of _them_!" Murphy shouted, clearly not willing to let this go so easily. "The Grounders tortured me for days, and they are the most brutal, savage people I've ever seen. You can't just allow one of them to walk right into our camp. Those people just gave us all some sort of plague, and they were coming across that bridge this morning to kill us. _She_ was coming to kill us."

"I know, but this is important to Clarke, for some bizarre reason, so I'm willing to give it a chance. That girl's probably pretty weak right now anyway, so she should stay under control," Bellamy said to Murphy. "but the moment that she starts to become a problem, she dies. It's as easy as that."

Murphy finally seemed satisfied with the other boy's answer, and his posture became more relaxed as he spoke. "Well, where's this girl going to sleep? She sure as hell can't stay in the dropship now that it's full of sick people."

"Good point." Bellamy turned his attention back to the blonde. "Where do you think she's staying?"

Clarke didn't respond right away because she honestly didn't have an answer. She had forgotten about the amount of people who were currently filling up the dropship, and she tried to think of somewhere else that the other girl might be comfortable. Bellamy raised his eyebrows at her in a patronizing way, as if daring her to suggest anywhere that he would not approve of, and she knew that there was really only one acceptable answer. "I guess she can stay in my tent."

Bellamy nodded his approval. "Just make sure your pet stays under control."

Clarke's blood boiled at the boy's words, at the harsh way that he, and Murphy, were willing to treat this girl. Grounder or not, she was a person, just like them, and they shouldn't be treating her as anything less. They didn't even know a thing about her.

Despite the short time that they had spent together today, Clarke realized that she didn't really know this warrior either. What if she turned out to be a cold-blooded killing machine like the rest of her people seemed to be? What if she turned her back on Clarke the moment she was healed? She had been on her way to kill Clarke and her people, after all. Clarke knew that it was possible that this girl would turn out just like everyone else expected, but she hoped with all of her heart that that would not be the case.

She didn't think that she could handle taking one more life today.

* * *

Jasper and Monty helped Clarke to settle the Grounder girl in on the blonde's own bed, on the far side of the tent, and then they left Clarke alone with her new patient for the first time since she had found her. Clarke simply sat on the ground for a while and watched the rise and fall of the other girl's chest, still slightly in awe of the fact that it was still rising and falling at all. That girl had come so close to death, and Clarke couldn't help but be a little proud that she had saved her.

After a few minutes, Clarke remembered that she now had nowhere to sleep, so she pushed herself to her feet, going out in search of some blankets and pillows that she could use to create a bed that was even more makeshift than her original makeshift bed. She was rather thankful when she found plenty of bedding supplies on the second floor of the dropship, where her people housed most of their supplies, grabbing as much as she could carry before descending the ladder again. She picked her way through the many patients who Octavia and Murphy were busy tending to on the first floor, but the blonde didn't even offer to stay and help out. She had a patient of her own to take care of.

Once Clarke had set up a bed, which consisted of a few blankets and a pillow, in the corner by the tent flap, she grabbed a cloth and wet it in the small water basin that she always kept on the right side of her tent. Then, she set to work on wiping the black war paint off of the brunette's face, a little surprised at how peaceful and slightly more fragile the young warrior looked without it. She almost looked cute, a term that no warrior probably ever wanted to be called, but Clarke couldn't help but think it.

She thought about changing the Grounder into something more comfortable because she knew that that coat couldn't be the most cozy thing to lie in. However, she didn't want to upset the girl by changing her into unfamiliar clothes. Besides, she would feel awkward changing the clothes of someone that she barely even knew. She thought that it would feel wrong to have this young girl naked in front of her without her permission, even if it was only for a moment.

Clarke settled instead for checking the girl over for signs of any further wounds. She could now see that the left leg of the warrior's black pants was clearly charred, and she chided herself for missing it earlier, although in her defense, she had been busy saving this girl's life. The blonde knew immediately that she would need to grab some burn cream to rub on the wound, glad that the Ark had provided her people with plenty of the substance, in case anything went wrong upon landing.

Even though Clarke wanted nothing more than to collapse into her new bed, she hauled herself up again, making her way over to the dropship and up the ladder to the second floor for the second time that day. She quickly grabbed the cream before scurrying down the ladder, where she found Octavia gazing at her curiously from her spot beside a sleeping Miller.

"I heard you saved a Grounder today," the younger girl said.

"I did," Clarke said simply, knowing that the news would get around the camp pretty quickly, even if she did nothing to help spread it.

Octavia gestured to the jar of cream in Clarke's hand. "That for her?"

Clarke nodded, and Octavia nodded back. "Thank you for trying to make peace with them, too. I was starting to worry that you and Bellamy would turn our people completely against them."

"Bellamy might, but I promise I won't." Clarke tried her best to crack a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace at the thought of how much Bellamy hated the people that they were sharing the earth with. "This wasn't about making peace with the Grounders, though. I saved her because I needed some way to make up for all the lives we took today. I know this probably doesn't cut it, but it's better than nothing."

Octavia shrugged. "Still. I'm sure that Lincoln would appreciate you saving one of his people, instead of just slaughtering them all, and so do I. Maybe he knows that girl."

"Maybe," Clarke agreed, nodding to the other girl before slipping out of the dropship to head back to her tent.

She ducked through the tent flap and made her way back over to the young warrior's side, rolling up the girl's pant leg to reveal an angry red burn mark with small hints of black, extending from mid-calf to a couple inches above the knee. It wasn't bad enough to be a third degree burn, Clarke didn't think, but it was definitely second degree, and the blonde wasted no time in popping the lid off of the container she held. Clarke began to smear the cool cream into the still warm flesh of the brunette's leg, hoping to soothe the pain that the girl would definitely be feeling already if she were conscious.

Leaving the leg of the pants rolled up to let the cool air hit the skin, Clarke washed the cream from her hands before making her way over to the bed that she had constructed and collapsing onto the meager bedding in exhaustion. Even though it was only early evening, Clarke knew that she would be out for the rest of the night because she had been awake for quite some time now. Not to mention the amount of stress that the day had brought her. The blonde didn't even notice the lack of cushion beneath her, she was so tired, and she found her new bed to be more comfortable even than her bed on the Ark.

* * *

Clarke awoke to the sound of someone whimpering in pain, and she groggily blinked open her eyes, thinking for a moment that she was back in the dropship with all of the people who were sick. She blinked in confusion when she realized that she was in her own tent, and then she remembered.

It was the Grounder.

Clarke was out of her bed in an instant, crouching down beside the Grounder to see that the young warrior had opened her eyes and was clutching at her stomach in agony. When she noticed Clarke watching, though, her eyes hardened, and she bit her lip to prevent the sounds from escaping. The blonde immediately ran her hands through the other girl's hair, shaking her head and speaking gently. "You don't have to pretend to be strong for me. You can cry out if it hurts."

The Grounder stared at Clarke in stony silence, and the blonde sighed, wishing that the other girl would trust her or at least give some sign that she understood. Clarke could tell that the brunette was clearly in a lot of pain, so she decided to head over to the dropship to grab the herbs that she had been using as painkillers. Her mom had taught her how to make them before sending her to the ground, under the guise that she was helping Clarke with her earth studies course. Now, Clarke was quite glad that she had paid attention to what she had once thought of as boring lessons.

The dropship was completely quiet when Clarke went up to the second floor to grab the remainder of the herbs, and she noticed that everyone was asleep, even Murphy and Octavia. Their people were clearly through the worst of the sickness by now, and Clarke smiled at the thought. She only wished that her new patient would recover that quickly. She knew, though, that the Grounder wouldn't recover quickly at all.

Clarke could hear the Grounder's cries from a few feet away from her tent, but not surprisingly, the sounds stopped the minute that Clarke ducked back into the tent. However, Clarke could see that the pain was getting worse because the brunette was finding it harder and harder to keep it from showing on her face. Clarke could easily see it in her eyes now.

"Can you sit up, please?" Clarke asked softly. "I don't want you to choke."

Of course, there was no response, so the blonde slipped a hand under her patient's back and slowly started to raise her. The warrior caught on quickly to what Clarke wanted and sat up the rest of the way on her own. She moved too fast, though, the sudden motion clearly pulling at her wounds because she screamed in pain, doubling over a bit as she clutched tightly to her stomach. She leaned heavily into Clarke, and the blonde wrapped her arms around the poor warrior, trying her best to comfort the girl before she tried to give her the herbs again. She didn't know if it was working, but she thought that the answer was probably no because the brunette could no longer hold back her cries. Her body was trembling against Clarke's, and it broke the blonde's heart to see the strong warrior in so much pain.

" _Teik em hod op. Beja!_ " the girl wailed.

Clarke didn't understand a word that she said, but it sounded like a plea, so Clarke held the herbs up to the other girl's mouth. "Eat these. They'll help you."

The girl looked up at her warily, breathing heavily through the pain. Clarke didn't move the herbs away from the brunette's mouth, hoping that she would take them, despite the distrust that Clarke could see in those glazed-over green eyes. The blonde didn't know what she would do if the other girl refused, but she knew that the pain would become overwhelming at some point. Then, the warrior would have no choice.

Perhaps, it had already gotten to that point now because the Grounder pulled back, taking the herbs from Clarke's hand, and shoved them into her mouth after only a few seconds. Clarke tried to hide her amused smile at the fact that the warrior refused to be fed, even when she was like this. The blonde watched as her patient chewed up the leaves and swallowed them down before going back to her small cries of pain.

"It shouldn't be long now before the pain goes away," Clarke promised, still insistent on talking, even though she knew by now that the other girl could not understand her. She thought how tragic it was that they each spoke in their own language in the hopes that the other would understand when they knew that it was not possible. She wondered if they ever would be able to speak to one another without a translator, and she knew that the answer was probably no. Not unless their people remained at peace long enough for them to learn.

Clarke was brought out of her thoughts when she saw the Grounder's face twist up in pain and heard the comparatively louder cry that the brunette emitted. She wished that she could do something more to make the herbs work faster, but there was nothing, so she simply held her arms out to the brunette again, wanting to provide any comfort that she could. She knew that the Grounder would never take it because of the lack of trust; that was why Clarke was so surprised when she did.

The Grounder easily fell into the open arms, clinging tightly to Clarke, clearly in too much pain to care right now. The blonde instantly held the other girl as well, rubbing her back soothingly as she burrowed her face into Clarke's neck, her whimpers of pain now muffled against Clarke's skin. Clarke ran a hand comfortingly through long brown waves, trying her best not to get caught on any braids, and the two girls simply clung to each other in the quiet of the night.

As she continued her soothing motions, Clarke thought again of her mother. Abby Griffin was always able to ignore a patient's pain in favor of healing them, but Clarke was having a hard time dealing with this Grounder's pain tonight. It was breaking Clarke's heart to see the other girl like this and know that there was nothing she could do but hold her until the herbs kicked in. She wished that she didn't feel so deeply or at least that she wouldn't be so sympathetic to this girl who was supposed to be her enemy. She needed to save her, yes, but a friendship between the two of them would only end in tears when they were separated again. It was stupid to get attached to this girl who would only be here for a few weeks.

After several long minutes, the Grounder finally stopped trembling, and her breathing evened out, her cries of pain ceasing to be as she finally relaxed fully into Clarke, her sweaty forehead pressed against the blonde's neck.

" _Mochof_ ," the brunette whispered against Clarke's shirt.

The blonde wondered if the Grounder was talking to her or if she was half-delirious from the pain that she had just gone through. Either way, Clarke didn't let up on her soothing motions, keeping them up long after the other girl had fallen asleep and simply holding her even longer. Clarke found that she liked the feel of the Grounder's warmth, the gentle rise and fall of her chest against hers. The blonde was incredibly reluctant to put this girl back down, knowing that she probably wouldn't get a chance to hold her again. Clarke hadn't been held by anyone since she had slept with Finn, and that felt like so long ago. She hadn't realized just how much she needed the human contact until now.

She wondered if it said anything about her that she found more comfort in the arms of the enemy than she would with her own people. She supposed it was only because she knew her people too well for it not to be weird. If she asked any of them to hold her, they would more than likely expect something to develop between them, and Clarke didn't really want that. With this girl, it was no strings attached, which was exactly what Clarke needed.

Clarke knew, in that moment, that she had offered to hold the girl, not just for the warrior's comfort, but for her own as well. She felt safe with these strong arms wrapped around her. She felt like someone actually loved her, even if it was only pretend. The girl was so soft and warm, and Clarke wished that this moment never had to end. However, when she felt her own eyelids begin to droop, Clarke finally laid the Grounder back out on her bed, feeling like she was lying down her feelings of comfort and love along with her.

* * *

The first thing that Clarke noticed the next morning was that the Grounder girl was watching her curiously from where she lay. Clarke immediately made her way over to the brunette, who pushed herself up to meet Clarke, grunting in pain at the movement. Clarke wanted to reach out and push her right back down, but she knew that she needed to be careful around this other girl now that she was fully awake and no longer blinded by her own pain. The blonde wondered how this other girl was going to act, who she really was, and Clarke was suddenly wary about saying anything at all, unsure what exactly to do.

" _Mochof kom kepen ai_ ," the girl said softly.

Clarke, of course, didn't understand, but she could tell by the tone of the other girl's voice that she was not angry, which was a relief. Clarke took that as her cue to proceed, so she went over to the corner of her tent, where she had left her supplies last night, knowing that it was time to change the brunette's bandages. After grabbing everything she would need, plus a soothing poultice to rub on the wounds, Clarke dropped back down by the Grounder's side. "Can you lie back down for me?"

She sighed when she was met only with a blank stare, pressing on the warrior's shoulders so that she would get the message. Clarke could see a spark of defiance spring up in green eyes, and she was afraid for a moment that the brunette might argue. What would she do if the girl started to fight her on everything she said? What would she do if the girl tried to harm her? Clarke was relieved when the other girl finally lied out on her back, and the blonde moved to pull her shirt up. However, the minute Clarke touched the fabric, she felt a hand come up to clasp her wrist. Blue eyes rose up to meet green, and the Grounder gave a firm shake of her head.

Clarke sighed again in exasperation, gesturing from the items in her hands to the other girl's stomach and hoping that the warrior would get the message. "I only want to change your bandages and spread a poultice on your wounds. I'm trying to help you."

The blonde's shoulders slumped when she realized that the other girl was more than likely not going to let up, and she wondered why this warrior was being so stubborn. It was almost as if she didn't want to heal. Clarke wondered briefly if the Grounders didn't allow each other to heal from their wounds, but she pushed the thought away as quickly as it had come. Not even the Grounders were savage enough for that. This had to be something else. Clarke wondered if maybe the Grounder was ashamed of the way that she had acted last night, and she wished that she had some way to tell the girl that there was nothing to be ashamed of. Clarke made a mental note that maybe it was best not to coddle this girl in the future.

After a few moments, the girl finally nodded to Clarke, and the blonde reached out a tentative hand for the hem of her shirt, moving slowly so as to give the warrior ample time to stop her. Clarke wanted to make it a point to respect this girl in the hopes that the brunette might then finally realize that Clarke meant her no harm.

When the warrior made no move to stop her, Clarke finally pulled up the black material, removing the old bandages to reveal the other girl's stitched-up stomach. While the wounds were certainly a bit swollen, the stitches weren't torn, and there was no blood leaking from them. She scanned the area for any signs of abs, curious after she had seen how toned the warrior's leg muscles were, and she wondered if the other girl's stomach had been just as toned before Clarke and her people had blasted it to pieces. It looked to Clarke as if it might have been because—

The sound of the Grounder clearing her throat brought Clarke back to the present, and a large blush spread across her cheeks. She could only hope that the other girl had no idea what it was that had caught Clarke's attention.

Clarke quickly moved to grab a wash cloth, wetting it and rubbing some soap into it before gently rubbing it across the brunette's stomach, not overlooking the way that the girl's face scrunched up in pain. Clarke wondered if maybe it was too soon to be rubbing something against the area, but she knew that it was more important for her to keep the area clean, even though it was clearly causing some discomfort for the girl.

Once she had rinsed all of the soap away, Clarke gently dabbed the area dry with a bath towel before dipping her fingers into her jar of poultice and rubbing it into the stitched-up gashes. She tried her best to be professional, but there was something about rubbing this warrior's stomach that was making Clarke blush. She only hoped that the other girl couldn't see it. The act was too intimate, but Clarke knew that it wasn't just that. She had applied this same poultice to Jasper's wound when he had gotten speared by the Grounders, and she hadn't even thought anything of it. This was different though, and Clarke wondered if maybe she was starting to develop a sort of attraction towards this girl who she didn't even know, who might turn on her the minute she was healed. She brushed the thought aside, thinking of how ridiculous and potentially dangerous that would be. Still, she couldn't ignore the slight feelings of desire that were awakened inside of her as she rubbed her poultice into the girl's stomach.

She tried to swallow her feelings down in the hopes that they might wet her dry throat, and she found that she simultaneously wanted this moment to be over and never wanted it to end.

When it finally did end, Clarke wiped her hands clean and wrapped bandages around the Grounder's middle again, patting the girl's stomach gently when she was finished, the same as she had done yesterday. She hoped that the warrior hadn't been able to see the arousal that had bubbled up within Clarke at this action that she had done for countless patients before. She had to admit, though, that this patient was extremely irresistible. It looked as if she had been sculpted by the gods from the old Greek stories, with her perfect cheekbones and her jawline so sharp that it could probably slice Clarke's finger clean off. She suddenly felt the urge to reach out and touch it, just to test it out, but she restrained herself, clearing her throat awkwardly. "All done."

Blond eyebrows rose in surprise when the other girl smiled at Clarke. " _Yu bilaik leyos._ "

Clarke wished more than anything that she could understand what this girl was saying, and she really wished that it didn't disappoint her so much that she could probably never have a private conversation with the warrior. She knew that she was in fact feeling some sort of attraction for the girl in front of her, if the way that she had almost swooned at the sight of the brunette's tiny smile was anything to go by, but she was determined not to let it go any further than that. The brunette was a Grounder, and Clarke was not, and nothing was ever going to work out between them. Not to mention that this girl was Clarke's patient. Clarke knew that it would probably be for the best if she just turned this girl back over to her own people.

She also knew that she never could.

Granted, she would have to at some point, but it was easier to accept the thought when that day was not in the immediate future. Clarke simply sat by this girl's bedside, looking glumly down at her lap, and she wondered why it was that she would suddenly rather sit beside this Grounder who she couldn't even talk to rather than mingling with her own people. It wasn't just because the girl was attractive. She actually liked this girl as a person, which was weird because she hadn't even known her for a day. Maybe it was precisely the fact that she didn't know the girl or rather that the girl didn't know her. This Grounder never once looked to Clarke to make decisions, never once looked at her like the leader of her people. With this girl, she was just Clarke, and the blonde realized that it had been quite some time since she had last been Clarke. Once her dad died, she was just prisoner 319 and after that, she became the one that everyone expected to make all of the hard decisions. It felt like a breath of fresh air to finally be Clarke again. Or the blonde girl or whatever it was that this warrior thought of her as.

She was broken out of her thoughts by a hand resting against her arm, and she brought her eyes back up to meet green. She hadn't even noticed the warrior sitting up, and she could see a sort of curiosity in the eyes in front of her. The other girl was clearly wondering what was on Clarke's mind. Clarke wanted to laugh bitterly at the thought that she couldn't tell this girl, even if she wanted to. She simply shrugged at the nameless girl in front of her, wishing, for the first time, that she had a name to call her. At that moment, it struck her that there had to be some way that she could get the other girl's name, and she was suddenly determined to do just that. She didn't know exactly how to ask for it, but she figured that it might be easier for the Grounder to understand if Clarke gave her name first.

"I'm frustrated that we can't communicate," Clarke finally explained, just for the heck of it, "but I want you to know my name. I'm Clarke."

The girl tilted her head in confusion, but Clarke wasn't giving up.

Not until the brunette understood.

Not until she gave Clarke a name in return.

Clarke pressed her hand to her chest and said one word. "Clarke."

She did it one more time, smiling in satisfaction when the girl finally nodded. She pointed her finger in Clarke's direction and repeated the name. "Clarke."

"Yes. Clarke," the blonde said, pointing a finger in the brunette's direction with hope in her blue eyes. "What's your name?"

The girl easily understood the question through Clarke's hand motion, but it was clear that she didn't feel comfortable giving a name in return. The minute Clarke asked for one, the light that had been in the brunette's eyes from learning Clarke's name trickled away, replaced by a hardened look. Clarke's shoulders slumped in disappointment. Clearly, the grounder still didn't trust her enough to give Clarke her name. The blonde couldn't say that she was surprised though. She should've known that it was just wishful thinking to believe that she might soon be able to call this Grounder by name.

So caught up in thought was she that she couldn't quite make out the whisper of a word that fell past the Grounder's lips several seconds later. Clarke's head snapped up at the sound, just knowing that the other girl had said her name, and the blonde cursed herself for missing it. She cocked her head to the side to let the other girl know that she hadn't heard, hoping that the warrior might be kind enough to repeat it.

Green eyes turned up to latch onto blue, and the warrior spoke in a tone that was still quiet, yet audible this time. "Lexa."

"Lexa." Clarke rolled the name around on her tongue. "That's beautiful."

_Like you_ , Clarke wanted to add, but she didn't. She wasn't sure why she held it back when Lexa would never understand her anyway. She supposed that it had more to do with the fact that she didn't want to admit to herself that the thought had even crossed her mind. She cursed herself for being so foolish. If she let herself develop feelings for this girl, she would most likely get her heart broken yet again, even if the Grounder didn't turn her back on Clarke's people. A strong warrior like this girl, like Lexa, more than likely had someone that she loved back at home, and Clarke knew that she needed to stop these feelings before they had a chance to begin.

"I'm going to see what needs to be done around camp." Clarke pushed herself to her feet. "You stay here and rest."

Clarke didn't know why it was that she kept on speaking to Lexa when she knew that the other girl didn't understand. She supposed it was for the same reason that Lexa probably insisted on speaking to Clarke in her own language. They just wanted someone to talk to. It was easier to pretend that way. To pretend they had someone who actually understood them. To pretend they had someone who cared.

The Grounder seemed to understand enough of Clarke's words to know that she was leaving, even though that probably had more to do with the fact that Clarke had stood than with any of the actual words that had come out of her mouth. Still, Clarke wanted to pretend, and so she told herself that Lexa knew exactly what she had said.

Lexa reached out to Clarke before she could turn to leave, seemingly asking to come with her or perhaps just asking her to stay. Clarke had no way to be sure, but she thought that it was probably the former, knowing that she would love to explore a Grounder camp if she ever found herself recovering in one. However, there was no way that Lexa could come with Clarke today, even if she wanted to. It wasn't physically possible when she had been injured just yesterday.

Clarke shook her head at the other girl. "I don't think it's such a good idea for you to be walking right now. You need to lie down and get some rest so that you can recover, and maybe we can try walking again soon, okay?"

It was a lie, and Clarke knew it, but she didn't want the Grounder to know that, just in case she could pick up on a word here and there. Despite the blonde's reassurances, this girl wouldn't be walking any time soon. Not until those stitches were out. Clarke didn't want to risk Lexa pulling her stitches, not to mention that the brunette would be in immense pain from the way that walking would pull on her wounds.

Lexa nodded in response, understanding Clarke's answer from the shake of her head, and she gently lowered herself back down onto her bed, grimacing slightly at the pain. If it hurt Lexa just to sit up and lie down, there was no way that she would be able to walk, confirming for Clarke that she had done the right thing by saying no. She watched as Lexa closed her eyes, noticing that the brunette rested a hand over her stomach protectively, almost as if she thought that someone was going to come in here while the blonde was out and try to injure her further. Clarke wished that she could say that Lexa wasn't right to worry.

Sadly, there were plenty of people in the camp who might want to hurt Lexa, plenty of people with insecurities whose ego would be extremely boosted if they were able to defeat a Grounder. Clarke knew that many of them would never be able to harm a Grounder warrior unless that warrior happened to be as weak as Lexa was, which made the poor brunette the perfect target. Thankfully, though, Clarke didn't think that any of her people would dare to cross her by harming her new patient. As Bellamy and Clarke were the ones that their people looked to for leadership, they were also the most feared because they had the most power. This was the first time that Clarke was actually thankful for that power. She knew that she couldn't spend every minute in here with Lexa, and she didn't want anyone to lay a hand on her patient when she was gone, especially as the brunette didn't appear to be dangerous so far.

Clarke wished that she didn't have to go about her duties, didn't have to go outside and become a leader, an honorary chancellor for her people. She didn't want to be anyone except Clarke, but she supposed she didn't have much of a choice. She pushed her way out of the tent, leaving herself behind the canvas of the tent flap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng Translations
> 
> Teik em hod op. Beja! - Make it stop. Please!
> 
> Mochof - Thank you
> 
> Mochof kom kepen ai - Thank you for saving me
> 
> Yu bilaik leyos - You are funny


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday, Clexakru! Thank you so much for all of the bookmarks, kudos, and comments. I am really honored that so many people like this story already, and I hope that you will enjoy the next chapter!

Clarke got back to camp hungry and thirsty after being on a hunting patrol, and she couldn't wait for the meat to be ready. The boys she had been out with, Ronnie and Myles, brought the deer they had taken down together to the tent where their people housed their food and water, and Clarke followed after them, grabbing a cup and filling it with some much-needed drink. Clarke was no use with the bows and arrows that her people had constructed to hunt with, but she still went out on hunting patrols to serve as the lookout for Grounders. She wished that she could hunt with her gun, but she was smart enough to see that they shouldn't use their limited supply of bullets when they didn't need to. She took soothing sips of her water as she left the meat tent, making her way over to the fire to join the people that she had become closest to in her time on the ground.

"How's your Grounder doing?" Raven asked as Clarke plopped down next to her on the log that the mechanic was perched upon.

"As well as she can be," Clarke answered. "I'll probably have to give her some painkillers again soon."

"Can I come see her?" A spark of excitement flared up in Octavia's eyes.

Clarke wished that she didn't have to turn the other girl down, but she didn't think it was a good idea to bring Lexa company so soon. "She needs to rest."

Octavia rolled her eyes, seeing the excuse for what it was. "She's been resting for a good two or three hours if you've been on patrol, maybe more."

"I know you don't want to wake her up, Clarke, but maybe you should get her up to eat," Raven suggested. "I'm sure she's hungry and thirsty by now."

Clarke only blinked when she realized that Raven was right, and she was instantly swarmed with guilt. How could she just grab water for herself and sit down to casually talk with her friends when she hadn't given Lexa a single thing to eat or drink since the poor girl had gotten here? Even though it was only early afternoon, she was sure that Lexa was dying of thirst right now.

"Shit, you're right." Clarke downed the rest of her water in one gulp. Raven opened her mouth to reply, but Clarke didn't even give her a chance to, instead half running, half walking over to the meat tent and slipping inside. A few guys were still skinning the animals that the patrols had brought back. She was perfectly fine with waiting for her own food to be ready, but she wanted to give Lexa something as soon as possible, so she hurried over to the boys and put on her best casual face. "Could you cut off a few strips of that meat for me?"

Connor looked up at her in surprise. "Why? Just because you've become the closest thing we have to a leader down here doesn't meant that you get to eat before the rest of us. Wait your turn, Clarke."

Clarke sighed in exasperation. "It's not for me. I'm sure everyone in camp has heard by now that I rescued a Grounder from the explosion we caused, and she hasn't gotten to eat anything yet. The meat you give me will be for her, not me."

"Bellamy said not to give her anything to eat. I think he's hoping that she'll die of her own accord soon, but I don't want to be the person responsible for her death." He began cutting off a few strips of meat. "We're not savages like her people."

Clarke noticed the way that he excluded Lexa from that statement, trying not to upset Clarke, but it didn't matter. She bristled at the fact that he was indirectly calling Lexa a savage, something that she clearly wasn't. Or Clarke didn't think she was, anyway. Her shoulders slumped, though, when she realized that she didn't know anything about Lexa at all, not to mention the fact that she herself had thought of the Grounders as savages mere days ago.

"Thank you." She accepted the meat and quickly went to roast it by the fire, trying to ignore the anger that was now bubbling up inside of her towards Bellamy. He was acting ridiculous. Who gave orders to their people to let a young girl starve to death? That was just messed up, and quite frankly, Clarke was starting to get tired of him.

As she cooked the meat strip by strip, Clarke noticed Octavia fidgeting from her seat upon the log a few feet away. Clarke supposed that the younger girl was probably excited to meet Lexa. That didn't surprise her because Octavia had already taken a liking to the Grounder culture, from what Clarke could see, and she probably intended to ask Lexa some questions about it. The blonde knew that her friend would probably be disappointed when she found out that Lexa could not understand her.

Clarke knew that it would probably be a bad idea to take these two girls to see Lexa so soon. The warrior had only been here for a day, and it would be overwhelming for her to wake up and find two new people in her tent. However, Clarke knew that she wouldn't hear the end of this from Octavia until the younger girl actually got to meet Lexa, so Clarke decided that she might as well get this over with.

Once the meat was ready, Clarke stood from the log again to go grab some water, but she turned to find Raven already holding a cup of the clear liquid. "This what you were looking for?"

"Yes." Clarke nodded. "Thanks for getting it for me."

"So, are we going to meet this girl or what?" Raven asked.

Clarke wished that she could choose "or what" without feeling bad about it, but she simply nodded and gestured for the other girls to follow her, hoping that she was not making some sort of terrible mistake.

Lexa was lying out on her back when the three of them pushed their way into the tent, and Clarke thought she might be sleeping until a green eye cracked open to look at her. The other eye sprang open when the warrior noticed the girls that were with her tentmate, and she instantly pulled herself into a sitting position, regarding the newcomers with cold, hard eyes. Clarke knew immediately that she had made the wrong decision.

"We brought you some food." Clarke held the meat out like some kind of peace offering that was really more of a last-ditch effort to fix what she had only just realized that she had messed up.

When Lexa turned her green glare on the blonde, Clarke suddenly wished that she hadn't spoken at all. She felt like she was being burned alive by a fire the color of grass and trees.

"Do you know Lincoln?" Octavia sat on the ground beside Lexa, either not noticing or simply ignoring the glare that the Grounder was shooting her way. "He's from a village not far from here. Are you from the same village?"

Lexa didn't show any signs that she had even heard Octavia speak, her glare unwavering.

"O, she can't understand us," Clarke said.

"What do you mean she can't understand us?"

Clarke ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "I mean that she cannot understand us. She doesn't speak our language."

"Lincoln said that most of his people are well-versed in the language of the enemy. Their Commander makes sure of it."

"I notice that you said most," Clarke pointed out. "She must not be one of them."

Octavia pulled a face. "Maybe she just doesn't want you to know that she understands. That's what Lincoln did when I first met him. He didn't let me know that he could understand English until after Bellamy and you guys tortured him." She shot a small glare in Clarke and Raven's direction as she said this. "Maybe this girl is pretending, too."

"Why would she do that?" Clarke asked.

"Because she doesn't trust you," Octavia said, as if it should've been obvious. "We are enemies to the Grounders, after all. You expect this girl to just trust you immediately because you saved her? It's either that or maybe she's just spying on our camp, so she can report back to her people when you turn her loose. She doesn't want you to know that she's taking note of whatever you or anyone else says so that she can use it against us later."

Clarke hadn't even thought of the possibility that Lexa might be spying. The blonde wanted to brush it off immediately as ridiculous, but she knew that it was far from stupid. Wouldn't she want to do the same if she found herself in the heart of the enemy's camp?

"Let's not jump to conclusions. Lincoln is obviously a good man, and I'd like to think that this girl is inherently good as well. Innocent until proven guilty, right?" Clarke knew that she was trying to convince herself as much as Octavia. "Besides, she hasn't tried to kill me yet, and she has had plenty of chances."

Octavia just shrugged. "Then, maybe she's just scared. I mean, how would you feel if you woke up in the heart of enemy territory, and you weren't able to walk or do much of anything really? Not to mention, we tried to blow her up." Octavia turned her attention back to Lexa. "You don't have to be afraid of us. We know Lincoln, and we really do want peace with your people. We're not going to hurt you."

Still no response, and still no change in Lexa's ire-filled glare. Clarke found herself wishing for the thousandth time that Lexa could understand them. If she could, then Clarke was sure that she would've stopped looking at them like that by now. At least, the blonde hoped that she would've.

Octavia sighed. "Okay, fine. Don't talk to me. How about we get you something to drink instead?"

Octavia gestured for Raven to hand her the cup of water, which the mechanic did with ease. Octavia took the cup and brought it to Lexa's lips, cupping the back of the Grounder's neck in an innocent gesture that looked almost motherly to Clarke. It clearly didn't come off that way to Lexa. The warrior grabbed onto Octavia's wrist, roughly pulling it away from her neck and not letting go once she had. Her grip tightened, and she emitted a low growl as Octavia gasped in pain, trying in vain to wrench her wrist out of Lexa's ironclad grip.

Clarke immediately sprang to action, rushing over and dropping down beside the two girls on the ground. "Lexa, let go! Now."

Lexa didn't release her grip, didn't even move her eyes from where they were trained on Octavia with a threatening gleam to them. Clarke grabbed onto Lexa's fingers, trying to pry them away from her friend's wrist, but they wouldn't budge.

"Lexa," Clarke called angrily, and Lexa's green eyes finally slid over to Clarke's blue ones. The blonde made sure that there was not a single drop of sympathy in the blue, keeping her voice stern as she spoke. "Let. Go."

Clarke knew that Lexa wouldn't need to be able to understand English to grasp the meaning behind Clarke's words. The brunette didn't listen right away, and Clarke was just about to reach over and grab one of her four sedatives, which she had been saving for emergency situations, when the warrior finally let go. Octavia yanked her wrist away, rubbing it as she shot her own glare in Lexa's direction.

"I was only trying to help you," Octavia said, and Clarke could tell that she was slightly hurt. Clarke was taken aback by Lexa's behavior as well. It didn't seem possible that this was the same girl who had let Clarke hold her last night.

"Octavia," Clarke started, wanting to explain that Lexa hadn't meant it or some other bullshit excuse, but the younger girl was already pushing her way out of the tent. Clarke sighed, looking back to Raven, and she felt slightly better when she saw that the mechanic didn't seem to be too put off by Lexa. Instead, she moved closer to the Grounder and took the space that Octavia had previously occupied, holding a strip of meat up to Lexa's lips. Clarke hadn't even seen her friend snatch it off the plate that she was holding, she had been so caught up in her thoughts. She hoped that Lexa would take the food, but the brunette refused it, turning her head away.

"Please?" Raven tried. "It's really good."

Lexa still refused to accept it, and Raven just shrugged, standing up and returning the meat to Clarke's plate. "Maybe she's not hungry."

"Maybe," Clarke agreed absentmindedly, even though she knew full well that the Grounder had to be starving by now.

"I guess I'll see you later then, Clarke. You'll probably have better luck with her without us being here." Raven stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jeans, looking down at the dirt. "I'm sorry for insisting that you bring us to see her. We didn't mean to cause any trouble."

"It's fine," Clarke said sincerely.

It wasn't as if Raven and Octavia did any of this on purpose. They were only curious, and they couldn't have known that Lexa would react so badly. Clarke hadn't even thought that the Grounder might act like this, even though she knew that the brunette would probably be uncomfortable with the visitors.

Dropping back down beside her patient once Raven had left, Clarke tried to get Lexa to accept the food and water, but the warrior refused even her. Clarke didn't know what to do other than try to comfort the clearly upset girl, so she began to run her fingers soothingly through long brown hair, like she had done last night. This time, though, Lexa recoiled almost immediately, shoving Clarke's fingers away with a glare.

"That's not what you were saying last night," Clarke said in frustration, trying to mask her obvious hurt.

Her eyebrows rose slightly when she detected a tiny clench in Lexa's jaw, almost as if the brunette had understood her. She waited for a further response, but got none, and Clarke knew that it had more than likely only been a trick of the light, the result of some very wishful thinking.

"Please eat this." Clarke held the meat to Lexa's lips again. "I know you're hungry."

Lexa turned her face away, but the growl of her stomach betrayed her, confirming for Clarke that the other girl was as hungry as she thought her to be. She would've found the growl funny in any other circumstance, but she was honestly too hurt and frustrated right now to care. She wondered why it was that this Grounder was suddenly refusing the food. How was Clarke supposed to have known that the brunette would react so badly to strangers? She hadn't reacted this badly to Clarke. Besides, it's not like Octavia and Raven had tried to hurt her or anything.

"Fine," Clarke snapped, pushing herself to her feet. "You want to be stubborn? Go ahead and starve to death. See if I care."

She strode out of the tent without looking back. She couldn't bear to be around Lexa for another moment. She only wished that her parting statement had been true, that she wouldn't care if Lexa starved to death or not.

She cared.

A lot more than she probably should.

She had hoped to perhaps get out of camp and take a walk, but before she could reach the gates, she noticed Bellamy approaching her. She groaned at the sight of him, not even wanting to think about what he could possibly want. She had just been starting to get along with him and trust him before this mess with the Grounder, but now it was like they were right back to square one. Yesterday, she had felt slightly guilty for wrecking their tentative friendship by bringing this girl here, but she now knew that it wasn't her fault in the slightest. If Bellamy was such an asshole that he couldn't trust that she was doing the right thing, then she didn't want him as a friend anyway.

"What the hell, Clarke?" Bellamy snarled. "You let your stupid Grounder hurt my sister?"

Clarke closed her eyes for a moment in frustration. She hadn't even thought about how Bellamy might react to Lexa's actions from a few moments ago, considering nothing had really happened. It wasn't like Lexa had tried to kill Octavia or anything. "She didn't hurt Octavia."

"Tell that to the red marks on her wrist," Bellamy spat. "She hurt someone, which means she dies."

Clarke's head spun when she heard his statement. This couldn't be happening already. Lexa had only been here for a day, and Bellamy was already threatening to kill her? Clarke wouldn't let him of course, but she didn't want to start a feud with him and force her people to choose sides. She knew that she would probably be outnumbered. "I'll admit that she got a little aggressive, but she didn't even draw any blood. I know that you hate her and that you're protective over your sister, but you can't kill Lexa for something small like that."

"Lexa? She has a name now?" He looked repulsed, like Lexa wasn't someone that was worthy of having a name, of being treated like a person. Clarke tried to swallow down her rage at the way that Bellamy insisted on treating the Grounders. She tried not to think about Lincoln strung up in the dropship like an animal, but she couldn't help but wonder if Bellamy wished that he could do the same to Lexa.

She wondered if he might still find a way.

"Yes, she has a name, just like everyone else, Bellamy. I thought even you were smart enough to know that." He glared at her, but she wasn't finished. "You're not killing her. I won't let you."

Bellamy was practically fuming. "The deal was—"

"The deal was that Lexa would be killed if she attacked anyone, but she didn't attack Octavia. She was just warning your sister not to touch her. She can't communicate with us, and that was the only way she could think of to get Octavia to understand." Clarke was pulling at straws now, but she knew that she would pull every last straw before she let Lexa die.

Bellamy let out a humorless chuckle. "By trying to break my sister's wrist? That's a _great_ way to get us to understand her. I don't get why you're defending this bitch. You barely even know her, so why not just let her die?"

Clarke felt sick to her stomach at the thought of yet another dead body on the growing list of lives that her people had taken in their time on the ground. "I can't kill anyone else."

His tone softened as he responded, like he thought he understood when Clarke wasn't sure if he ever would. "I'm not asking you to kill her, Clarke. I'm perfectly fine with doing it myself."

"Don't you get it? Even if you do the killing, that girl's blood will still be on my hands. Even though I didn't build or set off the bomb that blew up the bridge, the deaths of those Grounders are on my hands, too. Do you want to know why?" Her voice cracked with a sob, tears falling from her eyes as she finally let her feelings loose. "Because the people in this camp look at me as their leader. They expect me to make their decisions for them and to approve their plans. They're _my_ people, and I am responsible for every single person that they kill."

"That's your flaw." Bellamy's sympathy should've increased after such an admission, but it seemed that it was now gone. "You shouldn't think of them that way. The Grounders are savages. They don't view us as human, so why should we look at them any differently?"

"Because we were raised with a set of morals. It's up to us to be accepting and peaceful or we're gonna be wiped out by these warriors. We may have guns, but they have thousands of people while we have less than a hundred. Besides, we don't have to stoop to their level."

"If you think you can domesticate that Grounder, you're wrong." Clarke tried to keep her anger from flaring up in her eyes. It seemed that there was no reasoning with him, but Clarke was prepared to argue more if that's what she needed to do. She was surprised when Bellamy sighed in defeat, knowing that it was probably the sight of her tear-filled eyes that had finally convinced him to concede. "But I'll give her one more chance."

"Thank you." Clarke enveloped him in a hug to show her gratitude. She didn't think that he deserved the hug, of course, but she gave it anyways, knowing that it might help to sway him more in her favor. If he thought she felt indebted to him, it might make him less argumentative all the time.

He seemed shocked at first, but he returned the hug, and Clarke didn't miss the tiny smile that was on his face when she pulled away. She wondered if he might have feelings for her that went beyond friendship, and she thought that that might play out in her favor later, but she couldn't stick around to figure it out right now. She had more important matters to attend to.

After saying goodbye to Bellamy, she spun on her heel and stormed to her tent, rather annoyed with her new patient for putting herself in unnecessary danger. She threw back the tent flap to find that the food and water had already disappeared, confirming her suspicions that Lexa had been hungry. Lexa looked up at Clarke with a glare, probably still angry that the blonde had brought her friends in earlier, but Clarke didn't think that she had a right to be anymore. What Lexa had done had been out of line, and it was Clarke's turn to be angry now.

Lexa's glare instantly fell away at the sight of the tears that Clarke had not bothered to wipe from her face, and Clarke thought that she could detect a bit of concern in the green depths of the other girl's eyes. She was honestly too furious to care though. If Lexa didn't want to trust her, if Lexa didn't even want Clarke to touch her, then Clarke was not going to put up with the brunette's unacceptable behavior.

"I can't believe you did that!" Clarke didn't even try to hold any of her anger and frustration back. "Can't you see that Bellamy already hates you? You have to be careful, especially around Octavia. She's his sister, did you know that? And he's absolutely furious with you. He wanted to kill you because of what you did."

Clarke didn't care whether Lexa could or couldn't understand her. It felt so good to just let her emotions free. Now that she had started, she couldn't stop, and she didn't even care that Lexa's glare had settled over her face again at the obvious anger in Clarke's voice.

"You scared me half to death today because, for some crazy reason, I actually don't want you to die. I know that you come from a culture where you could do whatever the hell you wanted and hurt people for probably no reason at all, but you can't do that here. So, if you actually want to stay alive and heal with me, you have to do things our way."

Lexa raised her chin defiantly as Clarke spoke, and this only served to infuriate the blonde further. Was this girl not even thankful that Clarke had saved her life? Clarke could tell that this warrior didn't get chewed out like this very often, that she thought she deserved more respect than Clarke was showing, and the blonde wondered what this girl's status was in her clan. It must have been a well-respected one, which was surprising for her young age. However, none of that mattered here. With Clarke and her people, this warrior was just a girl, and the blonde wasn't going to show her an ounce of respect unless she earned it.

Clarke pushed herself up from the ground, eager to get away from the suffocating feeling that this tent was bringing her, and she wondered how her desire to stay in here this morning and never leave had turned into this aversion. She wondered how her feelings of attraction towards this Grounder had so quickly turned into this disappointment and dislike. She grabbed the painkillers from the corner and sorted out how much the Grounder should take, setting them beside her bed before turning to leave again.

" _Jos sen ai op bak kamp raun ai kru_ ," Lexa growled behind her.

Clarke whirled around as soon as Lexa finished her sentence, blue eyes blazing with cold fire upon hearing Lexa's angry tone of voice.

"I know you think you're better than us, but you're walking on eggshells," Clarke snapped, "and they're about to break."

* * *

Clarke finally found that she could relax once she had slipped into the relative quiet of the forest. The tenseness left her muscles as she walked under the canopy of the trees, alone at last. She hadn't spoken to anyone on her way out of camp, hadn't even chanced a glance in any of her people's directions, too desperate to get some much-needed time to herself.

Now that she could think about it, she realized how hurt she was that she had been wrong about Lexa. She had thought that she might have finally found a friend who wouldn't look at her as anything other than Clarke. The situation from this morning made her realize that her new patient had no interest in being friends, but then again, Clarke supposed she couldn't blame her. Would she really be focused on making friends if she woke up defenseless in the camp of the enemy? Probably not, but she would at least show some respect to the healer who had saved her life.

She didn't know exactly what to think about Lexa right now, other than the fact that she needed some time away from the brunette. The more that she walked through the forest alone, the more she wished she could keep walking. She wondered what would happen if she just kept on walking and never stopped. She would eventually reach water, she knew that, but she hoped that wouldn't be for many, many miles. If Clarke walked away right now, no one would look at her to lead anymore, and she would never have to kill anyone ever again. She wouldn't have to be anyone other than Clarke, a small girl in a big world, alone and completely free.

Ironically, as she considered doing just that, Finn emerged from the trees, reminding her of her people, the exact reason why she was tied here. She could never abandon them like that when they relied on her so much. She cursed her luck. Why couldn't it have been literally anyone else who found her? She supposed it was better than Bellamy or Lexa, the two people that she wanted the most to avoid, but still.

"Hey, are you alright?" Finn asked as he approached.

"Yeah, I just needed a breath of fresh air." Clarke tried to force a smile on her face.

"I'm not stupid, Princess. What happened?"

"Just trouble with the Grounder I saved, with Bellamy," she admitted. "You were probably right. This girl is causing more trouble than she's worth, but I wanted to save her. I thought that if I did, then maybe I could make up for the lives I took yesterday. I never wanted to be a murderer."

Clarke didn't realize that she was crying until Finn opened his arms to her, and she easily fell into them, taking comfort in his warmth around her. The hug didn't feel just right though. Finn's body didn't seem to meld perfectly with hers anymore, like she had once thought, and she wondered if anyone's ever would again. How many more people did she have to kill before she couldn't bear to be around another human being at all? She wished that she could stop feeling so miserable. She had become a murderer in her time on the ground, and now she had ruined everything with Lexa, the one person who had made her feel slightly good again. She burrowed her face further into Finn's chest, trying to pretend that this was just a friendly hug, but she knew that Finn didn't mean it that way. She couldn't remember the last time that she had actually had a true friendly hug.

He rubbed her back in an attempt to make her feel better, but it only made her feel worse. "You're not a murderer, Clarke. You're a survivor. That's why I took such a liking to you in the first place. You're not afraid to do what needs to be done."

Clarke stayed silent, not sure of how to respond to that, and Finn took that as his cue to continue when Clarke wanted nothing more than for him to shut up. "Raven broke up with me yesterday."

"I'm sorry." She wasn't because she knew what was coming next.

"It's okay, actually. She did what I wasn't brave enough to do, but I want to be brave now." He pressed a kiss against blond hair. "I'm in love with you, Clarke."

The blonde girl was pushing out of his arms immediately, adding Finn to the growing list of people that she needed to avoid right now. "You know what? I totally forgot that I promised Jasper and Monty I'd hang out tonight. I should probably get going."

She hurried away before he even had a chance to respond.

* * *

Crickets had been playing their sweet symphonies for hours once Clarke finally returned to her tent, knowing that Lexa would be asleep by then. She was relieved to find that she was right as she sank down onto her makeshift bed with a contented sigh, not wanting to deal with her patient again until tomorrow. It seemed, though, that luck was not on her side today because she was just drifting off to sleep when she jolted awake to the sound of a voice from across the tent. "Clarke."

The blonde breathed a sigh of relief when she realized that the noise had come from Lexa and not some Grounder who had snuck into her tent to kill her, as her half-asleep mind had feared at first. She took calming breaths to slow her racing heart, wondering what it was that the other girl wanted and then cursing herself for even thinking about it. Lexa was probably in some kind of pain, but Clarke didn't care, not after the way that the brunette had acted earlier. She decided not to answer, still slightly hurt that Lexa had jerked away from her in disgust that afternoon. If the brunette didn't wish to be touched, then Clarke wouldn't touch her. She hoped this might teach the Grounder a lesson about how to be thankful and respectful.

"Clarke," Lexa said again, but the blonde didn't move. Even if she had wanted to get up and help Lexa, she was exhausted in the way that one is after having been awoken before one is ready. She couldn't find the energy to do anything in her sleepy state, so she couldn't go check on Lexa. At least, that's what she tried to tell herself.

She knew that she was making excuses because she was about to give in, no matter how much she didn't want to, and she wished that she could have the conscience of Bellamy or Murphy and easily leave the Grounder to suffer. However, Clarke couldn't help the worry from sneaking into her head, waking her more fully.

She couldn't help the fact that she still cared.

That thought frustrated her beyond explanation, but the feeling dissipated when the tent remained blissfully silent. Clarke breathed a sigh of relief. Lexa must have fallen back asleep. The blonde settled deeper into her pillow, waiting for sleep to come and claim her again as well.

"Claaaaaarrrke," Lexa whined pitifully, and the blonde wondered what on earth could be this important.

_She better literally be dying_ , Clarke thought as she pushed herself up from her bed, grumbling under her breath.

"What, Lexa? What?" Clarke asked in annoyance.

Lexa didn't seem to be put off by her tone, looking up at her with sleepy green eyes. " _Rid yu op hir_."

"I don't understand." Clarke furrowed her brows, shaking her head.

Lexa seemed to get the gist of Clarke's answer through her body language, so she clarified the meaning behind her words by scooting over and patting the space beside her before looking back up at Clarke expectantly.

Blue eyes widened in shock. "You want me to lie down with you? In your bed?"

Lexa continued to stare up at her, patting the space beside her for clarification.

"B-but earlier today, you didn't even want me to touch you," Clarke stuttered.

Still no response from Lexa, unsurprisingly. The brunette girl didn't seem frustrated in the slightest, seemingly content to gesture to the space beside her until Clarke gave her an answer. Clarke marveled at the total change in the Grounder's demeanor from earlier. The girl was tough during the daytime, but it seemed that she became rather needy at night. Clarke wished that she didn't find that to be slightly adorable.

Her movements stiff, Clarke tentatively lowered herself into the space beside Lexa, still confused as to why the warrior was making this request in the first place. It wasn't like they were friends or even close at all, and Clarke couldn't help but feel awkward at the prospect of lying so close to this stranger. Her eyes widened again when said stranger rolled halfway on top of her, using her chest as a pillow and holding her tight. Awkward didn't even begin to describe how Clarke was feeling now.

When Lexa showed no signs of letting go, Clarke tried her best to relax, looping an arm around Lexa's waist so that she could lie more comfortably. She had no explanation for why she pulled Lexa even closer. After a few moments of lying like this, Clarke realized just how relaxed she actually was. She felt better than she had all day now that she was wrapped in Lexa's arms again. The comfort that she hadn't been able to feel with Finn, she was now feeling with Lexa. It seemed that Lexa's body fit perfectly with hers, and she wasn't sure how she could draw so much comfort from someone she didn't even know.

She only knew that she liked it.

More than she cared to admit.

Was it possible that she could like Lexa the way that Octavia liked Lincoln? She decided to stop lying to herself and admit that it wasn't even a question anymore. The real question was, would she let herself?

As she held the brunette in the dark of the night, she dared to let herself think that she might.

The thought that came immediately after that was that she had done enough thinking for tonight. Obviously, some kind of aliens were taking over her brain and making her think things that she wouldn't normally think in the light of day, and she suddenly wanted nothing more than to be welcomed by a mind-numbing sleep.

"Goodnight, Lexa," she whispered into brown hair.

She thought that Lexa had fallen asleep in the time that had passed while she laid awake with her thoughts. She didn't even think that Lexa would hear her, so she certainly wasn't expecting a response.

" _Reshop_ , _Klark_ ," Lexa murmured.

For the first time ever, Clarke understood.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng Translations
> 
> Jos sen ai op bak kamp raun ai kru - Just send me back to my people
> 
> Rid yu op hir - Sleep here
> 
> Reshop, Klark - Goodnight, Clarke


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the chapter that I know a lot of you have been waiting for. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

The next morning, Clarke awoke to the feeling of a weight settled against her chest, and she opened her eyes to find Lexa still cuddled up to her side. It felt weird to have this woman that she barely knew from a culture that seemed so foreign to her cling to her all throughout the night, but she couldn't say that she didn't enjoy it. She hadn't had anyone to cuddle with in quite some time, and she found that it was refreshing to finally have that now, even if she and Lexa didn't share the bond that normally came with the gesture. Clarke was still upset with the brunette in her arms because of what she had done yesterday, but the Grounder clearly wanted another chance, so Clarke decided to give her one.

As Lexa slept on, Clarke tried her hardest to lie still, so as not to wake the other girl, a feat that was growing harder and harder with each passing second. In her growing boredom, Clarke began to play with the other girl's long brown hair, unweaving the intricate braids. They couldn't be comfortable to lie on, and Clarke wanted to be able to run her fingers through Lexa's silky brunette waves without getting caught on the braids. She took great pleasure in feeling the smoothness of Lexa's hair, which was still fluffy, even though it hadn't been washed yesterday. Suddenly, Clarke wasn't bored anymore, and she just wanted to lie in this moment forever. It felt like the two of them existed in their own little world, and Clarke couldn't help but wish that they did.

As time went by at an indeterminate amount, Clarke not even caring to look at her watch, she wondered if she would be able to persuade the warrior to trade out her coat for something more comfortable to lie around in. She thought that the answer would probably be no, but she figured that she might as well give it a try later, if she could get the brunette to understand. Green eyes fluttered open at that moment, and Clarke smiled down at her patient, who gave a tiny smile back in Clarke's direction, seemingly pleased that the blonde had stayed with her for the entirety of the night. Clarke felt the strange urge to place a kiss on the other girl's forehead, but she instantly pushed it away, instead slipping out from under Lexa and creating some much-needed space between them. Clarke quickly skittered over to her supply corner as her excuse for moving away.

"It's time for me to redress your wounds." Clarke held up the items in her hand so that Lexa would grasp the meaning behind her words.

Lexa nodded, and Clarke was surprised when the brunette lifted up her own shirt before looking back to Clarke expectantly. The warrior was acting much more docile than she had been the previous day, and Clarke wondered if Lexa was trying to make up for the way she had behaved. No matter what the reason, Clarke was pleased, and so she got right to work, removing the bandages that were wound around her patient's midsection to reveal the ugly stitched-up gashes underneath. Every time she saw this exposed area, she felt a deep sympathy because of how painful it must be, but she supposed that there wasn't anything more that she could do besides give Lexa painkillers and help her to heal.

After cleaning the area out with soap and water, Clarke set to work on applying her poultice again, a faint blush spreading across her cheeks. It didn't affect her as much as it had yesterday, but she still made sure to take the time to rub the poultice into each and every wound, telling herself that she just wanted to make sure it was applied correctly. It could not at all be because she was enjoying the feel of the skin on skin contact.

Far too many minutes had passed when Clarke finally pulled back to wash the poultice off of her fingers, and she hoped that Lexa hadn't noticed anything amiss about the amount of time Clarke had just taken to do the simple task. She immediately moved to grab the burn cream, trying not to take too long as she rubbed it into the toned muscles of the warrior's leg. She succeeded in being quick this time, but she didn't want to admit that her success had only been because she had noticed the discomfort on her patient's face.

Once Clarke had finally moved away, Lexa nodded once in thanks before pulling herself into a sitting position. She brought a gloved hand up to rub small circles over her belly, and Clarke easily got the message. Lexa was hungry.

Clarke handed her the painkilling herbs that she had been preparing. "Here. Eat these up, and then I will grab you something to eat."

Lexa grabbed the herbs and put them into her mouth, chewing them up and shuddering slightly at the bitter taste as she swallowed. Clarke tried not to find it adorable when Lexa stretched her arms up over her head, yawning as she ran her hands through her hair on the way down. Clarke only wished that she hadn't noticed the way that Lexa had cringed when the motion pulled at her wounds. The blonde was just getting to her feet, intent on getting Lexa the food that she wanted, when she noticed the brunette freeze. Clarke shot her a questioning glance, and Lexa slowly raised her hands back up to her hair, running her fingers through it.

Furious green eyes raised up to meet Clarke's, and the blonde gulped at the fact that the other girl looked even angrier than she had been yesterday. "You dare to remove my braids? Redo them immediately."

Now, it was Clarke's turn to freeze up, her mind trying to process the words that had just come out of Lexa's mouth. She almost didn't believe it because she had understood them.

She had thought that she would never understand Lexa.

She tried to reply, but she was speechless, mouth hanging open, unable to force any sounds out past her lips.

Lexa's eyes widened when she realized what she had accidentally done, but it was too late now. There was no taking back what she had said. The English words that she had just spoken.

"You can speak our language," Clarke finally said in a tiny whisper. She wanted to say so much more, but those words seemed to be the only ones that she could get past her lips. Her mind was still trying to process what had just happened.

" _Nou_." Lexa shook her head. " _Ai nou get in yu sleng_."

"You can't play dumb with me anymore, Lexa." Clarke's tone gained more and more bite as she spoke. "I heard you."

Lexa stared up at her defiantly, seemingly ready to argue, but the brunette's shoulders slumped in defeat when she realized that there was no believable lie that she could tell. "Yes, Clarke. I can speak English. I've been able to understand you this whole time."

Blue eyes sparked with anger. "What the hell, Lexa? Do you know how much easier it would've been if we could've just conversed this whole time? Why would you pretend not to understand me?"

Lexa didn't flinch as she gave her honest answer. "Your friend was right. I wished to spy on your camp so that I might decide whether or not your desire for peace was true. It is my duty to my people to report this information back to them."

Head beginning to spin, Clarke felt a strong sense of betrayal at the confirmation that Octavia's suspicions had been true. Lexa had been playing Clarke all along, and she had fallen for it. She'd been taking such good care of the brunette, and she felt stupid for developing some sort of attraction for a girl that she now realized only existed in her mind. She felt like an idiot for defending Lexa in front of her people like she had. Finn had been right. Bellamy had been right. Grounders were Grounders, and there was no way that anyone, even Clarke, could change that.

She felt tears spring to her eyes. She'd thought that she'd finally found someone who would only look at her as Clarke, someone who might genuinely care for her. It was hard to stomach the fact that Lexa probably didn't care about her at all. Yesterday, Clarke had wanted nothing more than for Lexa to be able to understand her so that they could communicate, but now she wished that they could go back to having a language barrier. That way, Clarke could pretend that Lexa actually liked her. She could misinterpret Lexa's words and expressions as genuine care and feel like they were actually bonding again. Now, all she felt was her heart splitting in two, and she cursed herself for getting attached to this girl that she hadn't even known for two days.

"So, I take it none of this was real then." Clarke's voice cracked around her tears. "Damn it, Lexa, I thought we were friends."

"Clarke—"

"No." Clarke's anger flared up, and she did nothing to stop it. "You don't get to talk. I never thought I'd say this, but you've done quite enough for one day. I'm going to clear a space for you in the dropship because I sure as hell don't want you staying in my tent anymore."

"Clarke, wait," Lexa called out when Clarke turned to leave.

The blonde in question didn't want to wait. She was furious, and more than that, she was hurt. She was hurt that Lexa had been spying on her this whole time when Clarke had thought they were growing closer, and she was hurt that she had already lost the feelings of peace and contentment that this girl had given her only yesterday. Only this morning. She spun around to say one more thing before she left the tent for good, all traces of kindness and caring gone from her blue eyes. "You know, I liked you much better when you only spoke in your stupid Grounder language."

* * *

The first thing that Clarke did after leaving her tent was wipe her eyes, not wanting her people to see that she had been crying. Then, she quickly made her way over to the dropship. She was sure that the sickness had to have passed for most people by now, and she hoped with all her heart that there would be room for Lexa in there. If Clarke had to spend another minute alone in her tent with that lying traitor, she thought that she might be driven insane. When she reached her destination, she saw Octavia taking care of the five or so people who were still down.

"Do you have space for one more?"

Octavia's eyes instantly filled with worry. "What do you mean? Someone else has caught the sickness?"

Clarke shook her head. "I was hoping that you could make some space in here for Lexa."

Hazel eyes shifted from worried to surprised. "Oh. Is she asking for more space?"

"Nope. I just don't want her in my tent anymore." Clarke tried her best not to sound awkward, but she didn't know how well she succeeded.

"Is this about what happened yesterday? I swear, I didn't go running to Bellamy afterwards. I would never tattle on you like a kindergartner. He's just so overprotective, and it honestly gets annoying. He saw the red marks on my wrist and practically forced me to explain. The truth is that I don't hate Lexa. She didn't really do anything wrong. I shouldn't have touched her, and you don't have to kick her out for something like that."

"It's not about that." Some of Clarke's anger crept back into her tone. "You may not hate Lexa, but I do."

Octavia looked taken aback. "What the hell happened? You've been all about Lexa ever since you brought her here. You're the only reason she's not dead right now. What changed?"

"You were right. She's been spying on us. She can speak English, so she was basically playing me for a fool this whole time, and I fell for it. I should've been smarter, like you were, but I wasn't, and I don't want anything to do with her anymore."

Octavia sighed. "Did you even give her a chance to explain?"

Clarke stopped in her furious rant, blinking in confusion. "Not really. But why would I do that? She's already proven herself to be untrustworthy."

"Have you ever stopped to think that maybe the Commander put her up to this, and she was just following her leader's orders? I'm not going to pretend I know everything about the Grounder culture, because I don't, but from what Lincoln's told me, their Commander can be pretty brutal if need be. Maybe this Commander told the people on the bridge to try and report back anything they could before sending them to war. Lexa might not be so bad, after all."

Clarke nodded as the realization sank over her, suddenly curious to know more about this Commander that the Grounders had. "What else has Lincoln told you about the Commander?"

"Not much. They call their leader _Heda_ , which means Commander in their language, and this _Heda_ is viewed as a god amongst their people. I don't think anyone would dare to cross the Commander."

"And you think Lexa had orders from this person?" Clarke was already starting to feel a little guilty about the way that she had reacted.

Octavia nodded. "Or one of the higher-ups in her village, yes."

Clarke let that sink in for a moment, knowing that she would have done the same thing without question if the chancellor told her to. Lexa might have only been trying to do what she thought was right for her people, just like Clarke was, and the blonde now felt sort of bad for yelling at her brunette companion. She still felt a bit betrayed, but how could she really expect any sense of loyalty from Lexa when Clarke and her people had just murdered so many of Lexa's people on the bridge? She needed to earn Lexa's loyalty in the same way that she wanted Lexa to earn her respect.

"So, what do you think?" Octavia prompted after a while, breaking Clarke out of her thoughts. "You still want me to clear a space in here?"

Clarke thought about it for a moment before shrugging. "I don't know. Maybe not, but I need some time to myself first. She's hungry, though, and I know she needs to eat, but I really don't want to talk to her right now. Not yet."

"I got it." Octavia took it in stride, seemingly understanding Clarke's dilemma.

Clarke wondered how it was that Octavia could forgive Lexa so easily, could seem so unaffected by the fact that this girl had been spying on their camp. She knew in her heart that it was because Octavia hadn't gotten a chance to grow close to Lexa the way that Clarke had, so she could view things with a more level-headed outlook. Clarke didn't even want to admit that she had gotten close to Lexa, even though it was clearly obvious to everyone else in the camp, because it was ridiculous really. How could she already care for this girl when they had only spent a day together? She supposed that she was just fascinated by this warrior from a foreign culture, who knew nothing about her, because she was hoping that she could have a fresh start with the Grounder. She knew by now, though, that there were no fresh starts. No escape. She would always be Clarke Griffin, the unofficial leader of her people, and just because Lexa didn't know her that way didn't change anything. If the Ark had truly been destroyed, now that the second dropship had exploded, Clarke and her people were on their own. The blonde was doomed to lead them for the rest of her days.

If she was going to keep taking care of this Grounder, then maybe she needed to put down the rose-colored glass that she had been viewing her with and admit that Lexa was just another enemy that Clarke couldn't kill.

* * *

Lexa laid on her back in the tent, feeling like she wanted to scream. She had hoped that Clarke would send her right back to her people once she admitted that she had been spying, but no such luck had come her way. Things had only gotten worse, instead of better. Now, instead of staying here under Clarke's protection, she would be moving into this dropship thing, and she would probably be placed under the care of someone who was not as nice to her as Clarke had been.

From the minute that Lexa had woken up in this strange camp, she had wanted nothing more than to go home. These people were her enemies. She was supposed to have wiped them out, and instead, she had led her people into an ambush and gotten herself wounded and taken prisoner. And then to hear, yesterday, that one of her own people had once been captured and tortured by the Sky People? That had sent her over the edge.

Looking at the incident in retrospect, she probably shouldn't have taken her anger out on the one called Octavia. The younger girl might have questioned Lexa's motives for not speaking English, but she was clearly against the torture that had occurred. The rest of the Skaikru, though, was clearly cruel and heartless, and Lexa wanted nothing more than to be away from them.

Then, there was Clarke. The beautiful blonde girl that had saved Lexa from certain death. She was the kindest one here, and Lexa was perplexed as to why she usually became much more relaxed when the other girl was with her. Maybe it was because of the girl's calm demeanor or the way that she was taking care of Lexa instead of letting her die, but no matter what the reason, Lexa was beginning to feel way too comfortable around that girl from the sky. Needless to say, she hated it.

She cringed when she thought of the way that she had asked Clarke to lie down with her last night. It had been weak of her, she knew. Her people probably would've killed her on the spot if they had been there to see it. Still, she hadn't realized how much she needed to be held until Clarke had extended her arms to Lexa on the first night that the brunette had stayed here, when Lexa had been practically blinded by her own pain. She had only allowed herself to be held that night because she had been in too much pain to care about anything, and she figured that one time wouldn't hurt, especially when there were no witnesses to her weakness. She hadn't accounted for the fact that she would like the feeling so much, and she hadn't been able to stop herself from asking Clarke to hold her again last night. She wanted to be able to enjoy it that time.

Lexa hadn't been held since Costia was still alive, and she seriously missed the touch of a lover. Even though Clarke was far from being her lover, Lexa still wished that the blonde might hold her every night. She became melancholy again when she thought that the other girl would probably never hold her again.

Now, it seemed that Clarke hated Lexa, and the brunette wished that she wasn't so unsettled by that fact. She had thought that she had found a temporary refuge in Clarke, but now the blonde was sending her to another foreign place where she would probably be left to the mercy of Bellamy. She shuddered at the thought of what the cruel boy would do to her when she wouldn't be able to fight back. She knew she couldn't let that happen. She needed to get out of here, get back to the safety and comfort of her own home, before someone came in here to get her.

She pushed up off of her bed to her feet. Or rather she tried to get to her feet. Pain shot through her body the moment that she began to push herself up, and she immediately collapsed back to her bed. She tried not to cry out too loudly so that she didn't alert any nearby Sky People, but she knew that the sound that had escaped her lips had had a nice volume to it.

Lexa growled in annoyance, not wanting to accept the fact that she might be too weak to walk right now, too weak to even stand. She needed to get out of this place, and she was going to do it. She pushed to her feet again, almost biting through her lip at the pain, and she smiled in satisfaction when she remained upright. At least, she smiled as much as she could when she felt like her stomach was being pulled apart. She took a few deep breaths before trying to walk to the tent flap. However, she only made it a couple feet before her legs gave out beneath her, grimacing at the pain that was now coursing through her burned left leg as well.

She grunted as she hit the ground, more frustrated than she had ever felt before in her life at the fact that she, the Commander of all twelve clans, the strongest warrior alive, couldn't escape from the Skaikru camp. She tried not to hate herself too much for not even being able to walk the few feet to the tent entrance. She wished that her people would come looking for her, that they would ransack the camp and turn every tent inside out until they found her. She didn't get her wish though. All she got was a shocked Octavia making her way into the tent with a plate of food and some water.

"Why aren't you in bed?" Octavia asked immediately.

Lexa thought about giving some bullshit answer, but she couldn't come up with a reasonable one, so she settled on telling the truth. "I was trying to escape."

Octavia just stared at her for a second, and whatever reaction Lexa had expected the younger girl to have after that, it certainly wasn't the one that she gave. Octavia burst out laughing at Lexa's misfortune, and the warrior itched to run this annoying girl through with her sword. She knew that she couldn't do that, though, without Bellamy turning against her, and she probably couldn't take on the Skaikru in her present state. She settled instead on glaring up at this audacious girl above her until she stopped emitting the sound that was grating on Lexa's nerves.

"Sorry," Octavia apologized, not sounding very sorry at all. "It's just a little funny. I mean, you're trying to escape, but you barely got two feet from your bed."

Lexa's cheeks burned with shame, and she wished that the other girl wasn't there to see this. Lexa was supposed to be a warrior, not some weak girl who couldn't even get out of bed. Octavia seemed to catch onto Lexa's change in mood, and she turned more serious. "Let's get you back into bed before Clarke comes in here and sees this. Something tells me that she won't be very happy if she does."

Octavia waited for Lexa to give her permission this time before touching her, and the warrior had to admit that she respected the Sky Girl a little more for that. She granted the younger girl the permission she sought and allowed herself to be raised from the ground, trying her best to bite back a groan of pain. Octavia kept her arms around Lexa's waist and supported much of the Commander's weight as they made the short but painful trek back to her bed.

Lexa sighed in relief when she was finally lying out on her back again, gritting her teeth at the pain that was now coursing through her stomach and leg. She knew that she wouldn't be in any pain right now if she had just stayed in her bed like Clarke wanted her to, but she had been hoping that she would be able to get away. She hated living the way she was now, cooped up in this tent and barely able to move. She was used to being outside for the majority of the day, and she missed the calming sights and sounds of the forest. She didn't like to feel weak.

"I hope you didn't rip your stitches." Octavia seemed to forget to ask permission as she lifted Lexa's shirt to take a peek at her wounds.

Lexa normally would've been furious, but she was in too much pain at the moment to even care much at all. Octavia could probably run her hands all over Lexa's body right now, and the Commander wouldn't even bat an eye. She tried not to picture Clarke doing just that, wondering why that image had even come to her mind in the first place.

"I don't see any blood." Octavia said thoughtfully, scanning her eyes over the area once more before covering it again. "I think you're all clear."

Lexa didn't respond, wanting nothing more than for the other girl to leave so that she could hurt in peace. Instead, Octavia held out the food and water that she had brought. "Clarke said you were hungry, so I brought you something to eat. Think of it as a peace offering after what happened yesterday."

Lexa nodded and accepted the meal, although she wasn't very hungry anymore. She decided to eat anyway, though, biting into her meat in silence. She hoped that Octavia would take the hint and leave, but the other girl simply stared at Lexa, making her extremely uncomfortable. She wondered if Octavia had orders to sit with her or if the other girl was just doing it to spite her. No matter what the reason, Lexa glared at the Sky Girl all the same.

"Sorry." Octavia cleared her throat, looking away. "I don't mean to stare at you like you're a specimen under a microscope. I'm just really interested in Grounder culture. We call you guys Grounders." She explained when she noticed Lexa tilting her head in confusion. "I was also wondering if you could tell me if you know Lincoln. You know, now that you're actually talking."

Lexa wanted to groan aloud. Was everything about Lincoln with this girl? Lexa hoped that she had not been this way when Costia was alive. Titus was right. Love was weakness. It turned you into a fool with a one-track mind.

The Commander tried her best to keep the frustration out of her voice when she answered. "I do know Lincoln, but we do not come from the same village. I have only seen him in passing a few times."

"Oh." The girl was silent for a few moments, probably disappointed, and Lexa reveled in the time that she didn't have to spend answering ridiculous questions. She tried her best not to let her annoyance play out on her face when Octavia spoke again. "So, Clarke told me you were pretending that you couldn't speak our language so that you could spy on us. Why? Was it an order from your Commander?"

Lexa schooled her features so that her surprise wouldn't show up on her face. She supposed, in a way, she was taking orders from her Commander since she was the Commander, and she also knew that this was the perfect excuse for why she might have been so intent on performing the action that had upset Clarke.

"Yes," Lexa answered easily. "Our Commander told us that if any of us were taken prisoner, then we were to gather as much information as we could and report back. _Heda_ is trying to determine if your clan poses a threat. Anya seems to think that our people are already at war, so the Commander will believe this unless you are proven to be harmless."

"And?" Octavia prompted. "What are you going to tell your _Heda_?"

"I have not decided yet."

Octavia sighed then, shoulders slumping a bit. "I guess that's better than saying we're evil right off the bat. I wouldn't mention this whole spying thing to anyone outside of me and Clarke though. If this gets around to Bellamy, there's no telling what he'll do. When he took Lincoln prisoner for stabbing Finn, he tied Lincoln up in the dropship and tortured him. Don't give him any reason to do that to you."

Lexa wanted to slice this girl to bits for even suggesting that a measly Sky Boy could overtake her, but she held back. In her current state, anyone in the camp could probably defeat her with ease. She decided to heed Octavia's warning and keep this information to herself, especially when she was about to lose Clarke's protection. Once the blonde girl made good on her threat to move Lexa out of her tent, the warrior knew that she would be left alone with Bellamy whenever he wanted, and she shuddered at the thought of being subjected to the boy's cruelty when she was so weak and defenseless.

"Clarke is going to move me into the dropship," Lexa finally spoke, surprising even herself.

She wasn't sure why she felt the need to share this fact with Octavia, but she suspected that it was probably because it made her so miserable. She didn't want to be left with the cruel members of the Skaikru, but more than that, she didn't want to be separated from Clarke. She had grown used to having the amiable blonde around, and she wasn't sure that she was ready to part with the other girl so soon.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Octavia said with a smirk. "I talked to her earlier, and I explained to her how you might have had orders to spy. She'll come around in no time what with how attached she's been to you since she saved you. Something tells me that she won't really be as okay with letting you out of her sight as she might have seemed."

Contemplating that, Lexa wondered if Clarke really was as attached to her as Octavia seemed to think. The blonde was always kind and comforting, but Lexa had always figured that that was just Clarke's personality. She didn't think that she got any sort of special treatment. Then again, Clarke had accepted Lexa's request to cuddle together last night without a single question. Lexa was still baffled as to why the girl would so readily sleep tangled up with someone that she didn't even know. Maybe she had just wanted to be polite, or maybe she had wanted to be held as well, the same as Lexa had. Either way, Lexa knew that she would miss the feeling every night for a long time.

When Octavia finally left, Lexa laid out on her back and stared up at the red and white material of the tent above her, trying to gauge what time of day it was. By the brightness that she could see, she thought that it must be nearing noon, but she couldn't tell for sure without noting the position of the sun. She growled in frustration at the reminder that today would be just another day of lying around in this awful tent. She was used to training or taking walks in the forest or tending to the needs of her people. She was not used to lying in bed for two days straight. She could barely even remember the last time she had been seriously injured. It had to have been when she was eleven or twelve. She had broken her arm during a battle with the Desert Clan. It hadn't been nearly as bad as this, though, because she had still been able to move around and even train with Anya, although the training hadn't been nearly as intense.

Now, Lexa was a stellar fighter, and she hadn't gotten a serious injury in years. She was able to evade any attack, defeat any enemy, but now, because of the Skaikru and their blasted technology, Lexa found it hard just to sit up. She wanted nothing more than to tear everyone in this camp to pieces for doing this to her, and she thought that she might do exactly that when she was healed. If she was ever healed. At the rate this was going, Lexa thought that she might be confined to her bed for the rest of her life.

She yawned, then, and realized that she was already tired again, only a couple hours after having woken up. She didn't know if her constant exhaustion was due to being injured or if the pain herbs made her drowsy or what. She only knew that she hated it. She couldn't fight it, though, so she resolved to allow her mind to succumb to dreams. The last thought she had before she drifted off was that she would rather be dead than have to continue living like this.

She found herself wishing she had died on that bridge.

* * *

When Lexa blinked her eyes open again, it was dark, and her stomach was aching. She turned her head towards the source of the rustling that had awoken her, and she was surprised to see that Clarke had just entered the tent. Lexa had honestly been prepared for the fact that Clarke might never walk into this tent again while Lexa was still in it.

Lexa slowly pulled herself into a sitting position, groaning as it pulled at her stitches, which were probably already a bit stretched out from her failed attempt to escape earlier. She cursed herself for being so damn weak.

Clarke came over and sat down on the bed beside Lexa without a word, and the brunette could barely see her in the pitch black of the night. Lexa felt annoyed that the blonde was sitting so close to her after yelling at her earlier, but Lexa also never wanted Clarke to leave her side. She was confused by her warring emotions, and so she allowed Clarke to sit beside her until she finally got up the courage to say whatever it was she had come in here to say.

Lexa awaited her sentence like a prisoner, hoping that she would not be thrown to the metaphorical wolves.

"Was it because of your Commander?" A tiny whisper invaded the silence of the night. "Is that why you were spying on us?"

Lexa dipped her head in answer. "Anya thinks that you need to die, but I wish to see whether you are a trustworthy people or not before the Commander gives the order to kill you all."

"Do you think we're trustworthy?"

Lexa hesitated, not wanting to upset the blonde any further than she already had, but also wanting to give an honest answer. Clearly, lying did more harm than good. "I think that some of you have the potential to be."

Blue eyes shone in the small amount of moonlight that filtered in through the crack of the tent entrance. "Do you trust me?"

"I think that I am starting to," Lexa said before she had the chance to think it through.

The girl beside her nodded, seemingly satisfied with Lexa's answer, and the brunette was glad that she had allowed herself to blurt out the truth before she had a chance to stop herself. Perhaps, she didn't actually need to be so guarded all the time.

After a few short seconds, Clarke moved away, and Lexa turned questioning green eyes on the girl who was now huddled over the things that were in the corner of the tent. Curiosity sparked within Lexa, and she craned her neck to see what the other girl was doing. Her eyebrows rose in surprise when she noticed light flicker up from where Clarke was crouching, and she smiled in delight when she saw the blonde turn around with a candle in her hand. Lexa was used to having her room in Polis lit up by many candles, so much so that the _natblidas_ often accused her of being a candle hoarder, and she was rather happy to have this touch of familiarity from her own home present here in this strange place.

"I thought you might like some light." Clarke set the candle a few feet from the bed as she plopped back down next to Lexa.

"I do very much enjoy the light that comes from candles, but how exactly did you light it? I did not see you take it out to a fire."

Clarke smiled in amusement. "My people have these things called matches. They come in a box, and if you strike the tip along the side of the box, it creates a tiny fire on the tip of the match for you."

"May I see?" Lexa's wonderment began to push away her guarded demeanor.

"Yeah, of course." Clarke grabbed another candle and turned this time so that Lexa could watch her light it.

From a box, Clarke produced a small stick with a tiny red mass on one end, and Lexa watched in awe as Clarke struck the match against the side of the box, flames instantly springing up on the tip. Lexa couldn't even begin to comprehend how such a thing might be possible. Her people normally had to rub wood against other pieces of wood for quite some time before flames would appear, so this was like magic to her. Then again, so was that huge explosion that had killed so many of her people on the bridge, had lodged chunks of rock in her stomach and rendered her temporarily useless. She was half-tempted to ask Clarke if she could try lighting one of these matches for herself as she watched Clarke light the second candle, but she was too aware that something could go wrong and damage her further. She never wanted to be injured ever again after this ordeal.

A dip in the water basin doused the small flame, and Clarke tossed the match aside before making her way back over to the place she had previously occupied on Lexa's bed, setting the second candle down beside the first. Lexa was still in slight shock because of what she had seen, and she forgot to keep up her air of indifference when she turned to look at the girl beside her. "That was amazing, Clarke."

"Yeah?" Clarke smiled brightly, and Lexa nodded in confirmation, accidentally allowing a tiny smile of her own to escape.

She knew that she shouldn't be allowing this, allowing herself to let her walls down and let go of the warrior that she had trained so hard to be, the unbreakable mindset that she forced herself to have as the Commander. She needed to draw herself up again and ask Clarke to leave her alone, feign tiredness and say that she wished to sleep. She opened her mouth, but then she promptly shut it again. Why did she have to be so stoic here? No one knew that she was the Commander, so maybe she should stop feeling like she needed to act like she still held that position among the Skaikru. Here, in the darkness of the night, reduced to someone who could barely even stand, she decided to let herself be Lexa.

She couldn't even remember the last time that she had done that.

She wondered if she would even remember how.

"Are you hungry?" Clarke asked after a few moments of silence. "You slept through dinner, but I'm sure that there's probably a bit of meat leftover."

Lexa shook her head, a gloved hand coming to rest over her midsection. "I'm actually not very hungry. My stomach hurts more than usual because—" She broke off, clearing her throat and dropping her gaze down to her lap. "My stomach is hurting more than usual."

Clarke gave her a skeptical look, but Lexa was glad when the blonde didn't say anything right away, instead grabbing Lexa's pain herbs and sliding them over to her. The warrior immediately stuffed her mouth with the bitter herbs in order to avoid questioning. She was not at all eager to tell the blonde healer that she had attempted to escape earlier. She was sure the other girl would feel betrayed by that, too, so it was probably better that that secret remained between her and Octavia. After all, Clarke still hadn't said whether or not she intended to make good on her threat to move Lexa into the dropship, and the brunette didn't want to do anything that might lessen her chances of remaining in the tent.

Silence stretched on between them, the only sound being that of Lexa chewing on the leaves that were currently in her mouth. Once she was finished, she turned her green eyes back up to Clarke's, suspecting that it would only be a matter of time now before she began to feel drowsy again. "Go ahead and ask me what you wish, Clarke. I can tell that something is on your mind."

Scuffling ensued, Clarke clearing her throat and moving slightly away from Lexa in embarrassment. She didn't speak up right away, clearly suspecting that whatever she might wish to inquire about might offend or upset the warrior, and Lexa waited patiently for the blonde girl to either gather up the courage to ask or decide not to.

"Are you human?" Clarke finally asked.

Lexa couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity of the question. "What do you mean, Clarke? Of course I am human."

"But your blood," Clarke argued. "It's black."

Lexa's eyes widened in realization. The Sky People must not have had this color blood amongst them. She had always believed that the first Commander had come from the sky, and so she had honestly assumed that perhaps all of the Skaikru had this color in their veins, or at least that they wouldn't be complete strangers to it.

"It is, but that does not make me inhuman. I am not the only one amongst my people who have this color blood running through their veins. We refer to it as night blood."

Clarke seemed both curious and excited to learn about this thing that was clearly foreign to her, similarly to the way that Lexa had reacted to the matches only moments ago. "Is it rare? Is it an effect of radiation? Does it give you special powers?"

The brunette smiled at the onslaught of questions. "Slow down, Clarke. We will have much time to discuss these things, so you do not need to ask all of your questions at once. Unfortunately, my blood does not provide me with magic powers, but it is rare, in the sense that not many people have it. However, it is seen as a good thing, unlike people with other differences. I am not familiar with that other term you used. Radiation?"

"Radiation is…hard to explain to someone who doesn't know science," Clarke admitted, bringing up yet another term with which Lexa was unfamiliar. "Basically, it's a harmful form of energy that was released in the nuclear apocalypse, and it probably causes those other differences that you're talking about."

Lexa only understood about half of what the other girl said, but she was slightly taken aback by the last part. "Don't be silly, Clarke. Deformed children are seen as a curse to our society and must be cast out immediately. Their deformities are caused by the evil actions of the child's parents, and these parents must then leave their cursed child out to die if they are to be cleansed of their wrongdoings."

"That's horrible!" Clarke interjected. "How could anyone do something like that?"

Lexa simply shrugged, not really seeing the horror in something that she had grown up with. "It is what it is. My blood color is not a defect, though. It doesn't mean that I am cursed, but only that I am from a different bloodline than the rest of my people. One of our ancestors had this black blood in her veins, and her descendants carry it also."

Clarke still seemed put off by the treatment of the children with deformities, but she didn't bring it up again. "How can you be sure that this woman didn't get her different blood color as a result of radiation poisoning?"

"I suppose I can't," Lexa stated, "but I do not believe that she was born here. My _Fleimkepa_ , Titus, will not hear of this when I tell him, but I believe that our first Commander was from the sky, like you. One of the relics that he keeps in his shrine to her is a vessel that looks exactly like the ones that your people used to use when they came down here one by one to escape your society. The first Commander was the one who started my bloodline on earth."

Clarke's distaste was driven away almost instantly, and it was her turn to be in awe. "You're descended from your very first Commander?"

Lexa only nodded, not wanting to give up too much more information on the subject, as it was a risky one. Even if she was starting to trust Clarke, there was no telling what the blonde would do if she found out that Lexa was the Commander of her people. If she reacted badly, Lexa would have no way of defending herself against the Skaikru, and so she resolved to keep the information to herself until she was healed enough to walk out of this camp and return to her people.

"That's incredible," Clarke breathed out, and Lexa only nodded once more, hoping that the blonde would just let the subject drop.

The two of them sat in silence for a while, and Lexa was relieved that no more questions about any Commander were asked. Her limbs started to feel heavy with the need to sleep, and she cursed herself for taking the pain herbs. However, her stomach was feeling much better, and it wasn't like Lexa could do much more than sleep right now anyway. Her only other option was to lie awake and stare at the foreign material of the tent above her or to talk more with this girl from the sky that she had met only two days ago. She wished that she could stand out under the sun or the stars, feel the cool breeze brush her cheeks, the running water of the river flowing against her skin. She wished that she could at least do _some_ thing that she was used to doing because she honestly felt like she had woken up in an entirely different world.

In that moment, Lexa wanted nothing more than to go back to her people. She had a duty to lead them, and she couldn't be gone for much longer. She knew that she wouldn't be much use to them in her present condition though. She couldn't even walk, and she knew very well that her people might kill her upon her arrival for being weak and select a new Commander instead. Still, Lexa wished that she could at least sleep in her own bed. The warm furs and luxurious space was much more comfortable than the tiny makeshift beds of the Skaikru, which left Lexa's back aching.

"The only Grounders I've ever really spoken to before are Lincoln and Anya." Clarke drew Lexa back to the present. "Are you from the same village?"

The brunette gave a short shake of her head. "They are from TonDC. I live in Polis."

"And you're obviously a warrior," Clarke noted, "but what's your rank? You seem like you have a pretty high one."

"Oh?" Lexa feigned surprise. "And why is that?"

Clarke smirked as she responded. "When I yelled at you the other day, you didn't seem to take it very well. You looked like you thought that you deserved more respect from me."

Lexa used Clarke's response time to come up with a suitable lie, making sure to keep her emotions in check as she responded smoothly. "I am one of _Heda's_ most trusted guards. That's why I live in our capital."

"Wow." A touch of Clarke's original awe returned to her eyes. "What's your Commander like?"

This was exactly the question that Lexa had been hoping not to receive. How was she to describe herself in a favorable light without revealing that she was speaking of herself? Well, it was quite easy, really. Lexa had simply been hoping that she wouldn't have to lie her way into an even further hole. Still, she made sure to take the question in stride. " _Heda_ is a fierce warrior, but also righteous. Our Commander is a strong leader who does not waver, but _Heda_ will not hesitate to make peace with you if you prove yourselves worthy."

Clarke gave a determined nod of her head, clearly finding something promising in the words that Lexa had just spoken. "Then, that's what we're going to do. We'll prove ourselves worthy of your Commander's peace because I don't want to have to fight with you, Lexa. Your people aren't that much different than mine, and I want to live in peace with you, even after you're healed. I don't want us to have to go back to being enemies the minute you walk out of this camp. Maybe, you can even take me to see Polis someday."

Thoughts of the blonde girl in Polis immediately invaded Lexa's mind. She could already picture the happy smile that would adorn Clarke's face when she saw the relaxed way of living that was present in the capital, the amicable nature of the people, and the children playing in the streets. She thought that it might be a nice break from all of the death and fighting for survival that Clarke had seen ever since she had set foot on the ground. Lexa was determined to show Clarke that the earth wasn't the place that the blonde girl probably thought it was. She wondered what Clarke might think when she saw the extravagant tower in which Lexa lived. The brunette didn't even notice that she was smiling as she pictured the scene.

"I think you would like it very much there," Lexa finally remembered to respond, "for Polis is full of life, and the people there are not so grim as our warriors appear to be."

As Clarke took that in, Lexa felt her eyelids begin to droop, feeling at ease with the peaceful thoughts of her home, and she found that she could now see a blonde addition to the capital on the backs of her eyelids. Something about that completed the home that Lexa desired so much to return to, made it feel absolutely right.

Lexa was brought out of her fantasies when she heard light laughter coming from beside her, and green eyes snapped open to meet the blue ones that were trained steadily on them.

"Maybe, we should go to sleep now," Clarke said gently. "I suppose we'll have plenty of time to talk now in the next few days."

Lexa nodded tiredly, feeling too drowsy to do the chore of lowering herself back onto her bed, so she collapsed against Clarke instead, causing another laugh to bubble up from the blonde's throat. Eyes now closed again, Lexa felt Clarke lower her back down onto her bed, resting her head gently against the pillow before moving back. Lexa realized just how much more comfortable it was to lie without her excessive braids in her hair. She knew that they were the symbol of her status, and she would more than likely ask for Clarke to redo them in the morning. Tonight, however, she didn't need them.

Tonight, she was only Lexa.

"Would you like me to lie with you again?" Clarke asked in a tiny voice.

"Yes." The whisper left Lexa's lips like a breath of air, and she felt Clarke lie down beside her.

Exhaustion began to drag Lexa under, and she found herself unable to move against Clarke as she had the previous night. She was content to just lie beside the girl tonight instead, but clearly Clarke didn't share in this contentment. Green eyes slowly blinked open again when Lexa felt blue eyes on her for an excessive amount of time, and she noticed that Clarke's head was moving towards her chest in slow motion, such that it would take the other girl all night to reach her destination if Lexa allowed it to continue. Instead, Lexa reached a hand up and pulled Clarke's head down against her. Clarke cleared her throat in embarrassment, but she didn't move away, instead nuzzling her head further into the brunette's chest.

A soft hand settled atop Lexa's stomach, seemingly protecting the warrior from any further wounds there, and Lexa couldn't help but smile, even though her eyes had already closed again. She used all of her remaining energy to gently place her hand on top of Clarke's as her thoughts faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng Translations
> 
> Nou. Ai nou get in yu sleng. - No. I don't know your language.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Good afternoon, my lovely readers! This week's chapter is a pretty important one and has been my favorite to write so far, so I hope you enjoy it! <3

Clarke awoke the next morning at the feel of the bed moving beneath her. Blue eyes cracked open to see a black-clad figure underneath her head, and it was only then that she remembered she was lying with Lexa. She instantly burrowed further into the other girl's chest, never wanting to lift her head from its comfortable position. She was relieved that she and Lexa had sorted things out yesterday, that Lexa had only been spying because she had felt like she had to and not because she was plotting revenge against Clarke and her people. Clarke recalled the previous night with a small smile, and she realized that she was so glad that she could finally talk to Lexa and get to know her. Exchanging information, however brief, had been amazing because it meant that they would finally get the chance to get to know each other. Perhaps, Clarke could have a fresh start with this girl, after all. She was already starting to view this tent as her escape from the outside world.

She was pulled from her thoughts when she felt a hand shift off of hers, and it was only then that she realized that their hands had still been clasped over Lexa's stomach. Clarke flushed scarlet, quickly moving her hand away as well, even though she wished that she could keep it there forever. It was her way of saying that she felt awful about what her people had done to the brunette. She hoped that the other girl had picked up on the message. She knew that she probably hadn't.

Clarke wished that she had the courage to say it aloud.

Blue eyes turned to up to meet tender green, and she was surprised at the care that she saw in those eyes before the warrior had a chance to hide it away. She thought, for the first time, that Lexa was probably finding the same solace in Clarke that the blonde had in her. She'd never thought about it that way before, but it made sense if Lexa was one of the higher-ups with her people. Maybe, she glad for the break from being a leader as well. If this were not true, then Clarke supposed that the warrior wouldn't continue wanting to cuddle at night. "Good morning, Lexa."

"I do not know that it is a particularly good morning, but I like that you are here," Lexa admitted. "I like that you have not moved me into the dropship."

"Good morning is just something that my people say," Clarke explained quickly, "but I've decided that I'm not going to move you out of my tent. You'd probably get hurt, and I don't want that. Besides, I'm actually starting to like having you around."

Clarke felt awkward, cheeks turning pink, when Lexa ignored the last part of her statement. "You think that Bellamy would try to harm me? He would dare go against your orders?"

"I think he might try, even if I tell him not to. He has a mind of his own, and he doesn't respond well to orders. We've already hurt you enough Lexa, and I'm sorry." Blue eyes dropped down to scan over the dirt. "I'm so sorry for killing so many of your people."

Lexa sighed. "At least, my people don't have to live like this."

Clarke brought her eyes back up to meet Lexa's. "Like what?"

"Like this." Lexa gestured all around her, anguish springing up in green eyes. "I am a prisoner in the camp of the enemy. I know you didn't mean for me to be one, but that's what I am. I can't walk, can't defend myself. I'm completely at your mercy, _and_ I am cooped up inside a tent instead of being outside in the fresh air because I can barely even move without feeling some sort of immense pain."

Clarke hadn't even thought of that before. She knew that Lexa was in pain, and she felt terrible about it every day, but she had never even considered that Lexa might not like remaining inside of the tent. More than that, it seemed like she was developing a sort of aversion to it, and the blonde wished that she could take her patient outside. Even if Lexa could make it all the way to the fire pit, Clarke knew that her people would only make the poor girl feel more unwelcome, and there was no way that Lexa would make it any further without either pulling her stitches or being overcome by pain.

A long sigh escaped from Clarke's lips. "I'm sorry, Lexa, but I don't think you'll be able to walk yet. I never meant to hurt you, and I'd love to take you outside since you seem to want this so much, but I can't risk you pulling your stitches."

Lexa's face fell, as if she had been expecting Clarke to perform a miracle so that she could walk without pain just because she had complained about it. That wasn't going to happen, and Clarke wished that she didn't have to let the warrior down.

"Soon though, Lexa," Clarke promised, wanting to restore a bit of the brunette's hope. "As soon as you're ready."

Lexa reluctantly nodded, and Clarke couldn't help but wish that there was something more that she could do for her discouraged patient. Perhaps, she _could_ do something to make the other girl feel more comfortable at the very least. "How would you like to take a bath, Lexa?"

The other girl perked up at the thought. "You are taking me to the river for a bath?"

"Not quite," Clarke responded. "I'm going to fill a tub for you and bring it in here, so you won't have to do much moving."

The light in green eyes faded a bit, but the brunette still nodded enthusiastically, and Clarke nodded back. "I'll go grab a tub then and get it ready."

The blonde hurried over to the place where her people normally kept their tubs and selected the one that looked the cleanest, gently pulling it in the vicinity of the tent that housed their food and water. Her people had generally stopped using the tubs in preference of the river so that they wouldn't be wasting so much of their water, but there was no way that Lexa was going to make it all the way out there. It seemed that Clarke would have to do things in what now felt like the old-fashioned way.

Once Clarke had filled up the tub and warmed the water with hot coals, she began dragging it to her tent, quickly finding that the task was harder than she remembered. Now, she understood why her people had been so eager to accept the bathing-in-the-river rule.

"You need help, Griff?" Clarke didn't think that she had ever been as happy to hear something as she was when Raven's voice reached her ears.

She nodded vigorously. "That would be great, thanks."

The tub was a lot easier to move with the other girl's help, and Clarke was not half as winded when she reached her tent as she would've been if Raven hadn't been there to help her. The mechanic didn't remain in the tent for more than a few seconds, clearly not wanting to upset Lexa like she and Octavia had done when they had first met the Grounder. Raven nodded once to the warrior before ducking out of the tent again, leaving Clarke and her patient alone.

An awkward silence settled over the two for a few moments before Clarke finally cleared her throat, feeling extremely embarrassed. "Do you need help undressing?"

Lexa's eyes widened for a moment, and Clarke thought for sure that the other girl was going to shake her head, opting to try and remove her clothes for herself. However, she seemed to see the sense in accepting Clarke's offer, her face turning completely emotionless as she replied. "I suppose a little help would be nice."

Both girls were now blushing at the realization that Clarke was about to see Lexa naked, and the blonde wondered if maybe the warrior was now regretting her decision to bathe. She recovered quickly, though, unbuckling her coat and allowing it fall from her shoulders before yanking her shirt up over her head with a grimace. The blonde averted her gaze when Lexa let her bra drop, and she quickly moved to unwind the bandages over Lexa's stomach before they got to the hard part. The blonde gently helped Lexa get to her feet as the brunette whimpered in pain. Clarke could tell that Lexa wanted to double over, perhaps to clutch at her stomach, but Clarke was quicker, crouching down and placing the other girl's hands on her shoulders to keep the brunette upright. Clarke looked up at Lexa for permission, even though she had already been granted such, and the Grounder nodded. Clarke tried not to think about what she was doing as she unbuttoned and unzipped Lexa's pants, pushing them, along with the brunette's underwear, down her long legs. After helping her patient step out of them, succeeding in her fight to remain professional, Clarke looped an arm around Lexa's waist to help support her weight.

Getting Lexa the couple of steps to the tub proved to be difficult, as Lexa's legs were a little wobbly, and Clarke's pupils were dilated at the feeling of Lexa's naked body pressed right up against her clothed one. She tried her best not to stare, hating her stupid hormones for reacting this way.

Once both of Lexa's feet were firmly planted in the tub, Clarke gently lowered her down into the still-warm water, immediately turning her back after handing the other girl some soap and a washcloth. She wanted Lexa to feel comfortable while bathing, so Clarke decided to give her a bit of privacy, hoping that the warrior would be alright to finish the job on her own. Clarke could tell that the poor girl's pride had been quite wounded at either Clarke seeing her naked or needing so much of Clarke's help just to get into the bathtub, and the blonde didn't want to discourage her patient any further by being overbearing and trying to wash the other girl instead of letting the Grounder do it herself.

When Clarke felt a tap on her shoulder from her place leaning against the wood of the tub, the blonde finally turned around to see Lexa holding out the washcloth to her without a word.

"You need help with something?" Clarke asked.

Lexa shrugged. "I just figured that you would like to wash my stomach since you do it every day before applying your poultice."

"Are you sure?" Clarke didn't want to do anything that might make Lexa feel even more incompetent, even if it would be much better for Clarke to clean that area out herself.

Lexa nodded, and Clarke began to scrub lightly over the area like she always did, trying to ignore the fact that Lexa was bare before her this time. She tried her best to tell herself that nothing was different.

She hoped that Lexa couldn't detect the darkened color of her eyes.

Once Lexa was all cleaned up, Clarke helped her stand, wrapping a towel around her shoulders. "Would you like some clean clothes?"

"My old ones will do just fine," Lexa said politely but firmly.

Sitting Lexa down on the edge of the tub, Clarke went about reapplying her poultice, burn cream, and bandages before finally moving to redress Lexa in her old clothes with a sigh. Clarke provided the brunette with a new bra and new underwear, not wanting to be unsanitary, and she was relieved when Lexa didn't protest. Then, she helped Lexa into the same black shirt and pants that she had been wearing for the last couple of days, winding that long black coat around her patient's shoulders. She walked with Lexa the few feet that were between the tub and the bed, ignoring the yelps of pain as best as she could, and dumped the bathwater out once Lexa was settled. She knew that she needed to rejoin her people, see if there was some sort of patrol that she might be helpful on or even just spend time with her friends, but she found that she didn't want to. She suddenly found that she would rather stay in here with Lexa, like she had on their very first morning together, and she figured that a couple minutes would do no harm.

After making sure that Lexa ate her pain herbs, receiving a shake of the head to her inquiry about whether or not Lexa was hungry, Clarke sat down beside the other girl and absentmindedly played with the blankets beneath her, content to just sit in silence and enjoy Lexa's presence beside her.

"Why did you allow me to lie with you?" Lexa asked curiously after a few moments.

Clarke was slightly taken aback by the question. "What?"

"Why did you allow me to lie with you?" Lexa repeated, in case Clarke hadn't heard. "For my people, it is typically an activity reserved for lovers, so why did you not think it strange when I asked it of you?"

"Because you're hurt," Clarke answered immediately, "and I want to be able to comfort you in any way that I can. Besides, it's different with my people. Two of us can cuddle together without it meaning anything other than friendship. I'd love to be your friend, Lexa, if you'll let me." Clarke raised an eyebrow in amusement. "I guess the better question is, why did you ask me to lie with you?"

Lexa awkwardly cleared her throat. "I simply wished for you to hold me. I do not mean to sound clingy or overbearing, but I have not been held in quite some time, and I find it nice when you hold me."

"I like it when you hold me, too," Clarke blurted out before she could even think about stopping herself. She averted her eyes in embarrassment, but she didn't even try to stop herself from continuing with her train of thought. "Do you think we could continue to cuddle at night? I know we're not exactly close friends right now, or any kind of friends, but sharing that comfort really helps me."

"Don't worry about it, Clarke," Lexa said with a tiny smile. "It helps me as well."

At the sight of the smile that was so rare for Lexa, Clarke decided to be bold and loop an arm around Lexa's waist, pulling the brunette against her. Now that they had talked about it and established that they both enjoyed being held, Clarke found that she couldn't wait until tonight to hold Lexa again, and she hoped that the warrior wouldn't be upset by her actions. Lexa stiffened for a brief moment, and Clarke wondered if this had been a stupid idea. She was just about to pull back and apologize when she felt the warrior relax against her. Two strong arms wrapped around Clarke's waist, squeezing tightly, as if Lexa was afraid that Clarke might disappear if she let up on her grip. As Clarke began to quietly redo the other girl's braids, she knew that she would be in this tent for a lot longer than a couple of minutes. She was not ready to give up the comfort of Lexa pressed against her anytime soon.

* * *

The next day, Clarke entered the tent after having been out on patrol to find Lexa facing away from her in the bed. She immediately knew that something was up because Lexa never laid on her side, except for when she and Clarke were cuddling. Clarke knew that it was much more comfortable for the other girl to lie out on her back, so Lexa was clearly making a statement this evening about not wanting to talk to Clarke. They hadn't argued at all that day or the day before, so Clarke couldn't even imagine what this might possibly be about. Perhaps, Lexa had just rolled onto her side in her sleep.

Clarke decided to announce her presence. "Lexa, I brought you some food. Do you want to eat?"

"No," Lexa grumbled.

Clarke sighed as she set the plate of food down on the ground, sitting on the edge of Lexa's bed so that she could be close to her. "Alright. I know something's wrong, so what is it?"

Lexa flipped over, and Clarke knew that she had said the wrong thing when she saw the anger and despair in Lexa's eyes. "What is wrong, Clarke? You and your people have completely ruined me, that's what is wrong. I am strong. I am a warrior, not this weak thing that you have turned me into."

Clarke was sort of taken aback at the outburst, and she wondered where the gentle girl that she had held for hours yesterday had gone. It seemed that staying in the tent all day was upsetting Lexa more than Clarke had thought, and she got the idea that Lexa probably didn't get injured often, at least not like this. The warrior wasn't used to actually taking the time to heal. Clarke wanted to reach out a hand to run her fingers through Lexa's hair, an action that she knew soothed both of them, but she didn't want to risk upsetting the other girl any further. She settled for lightly touching Lexa's arm instead. "Just because you're hurt doesn't mean you're not strong, Lexa. You're much stronger than I could ever hope to be."

Lexa gave Clarke in incredulous look, and the blonde wished that she knew this warrior better so that she might be able to figure out what was the right thing to say. "You are much stronger than me right now, Clarke. I cannot even walk."

"Maybe so," Clarke admitted, "but you will heal, and then you'll be right back to the strong warrior that you want to be. I promise."

"Not soon enough," Lexa muttered, flipping back over onto her side to face away from Clarke. The blonde sighed again, wishing that Lexa wouldn't be so pessimistic, wishing that she knew how to comfort the other girl. She didn't know what words to use, so she decided to try touch instead, settling on gently rubbing Lexa's side. She was aware that the act might be a little too intimate between two people that didn't even know one another, but then again, so was cuddling. Clarke let out a breath that she hadn't even known she'd been holding when she noticed Lexa involuntarily scoot a little closer to her. Despite the brunette's stubborn mood, she clearly liked the touch.

Clarke wished that she could do more for the Grounder than this. The constant reminder that Clarke and her people had done this to Lexa was ever present in the blonde's head. It was all Clarke's fault that this warrior wasn't up training or doing whatever it was that she did for her people in Polis. The Grounders seemed to be an active people, so Clarke knew that it must have been hard for this girl to lie in bed all day for the past five days. She wished that she had something more that she could say, but all she could think of was this: "I'm sorry. For hurting you."

"You should be," Lexa huffed. "I hate having to lie in bed all day."

"When was the last time you were injured?" Clarke asked curiously.

"I have seen a lot less battles since the clans have been united, but I still get minor injuries every now and again. The last major injury I got was a long time ago. I broke my arm during a battle, but I could still train and move around." Self-loathing crept into Lexa's voice. "I was not reduced to _this_."

Clarke could feel annoyance spring up within her at Lexa's consistently mopey mood, but she knew that it was mostly annoyance with herself. She was frustrated that she couldn't find a way to successfully comfort Lexa, and she was a little frustrated with the brunette for continuing to put her in a situation where she needed to give comfort that she couldn't figure out how to give. "Lexa, stop feeling sorry for yourself. At least you're alive. Every one of the people who marched with you died on that bridge, and you are so damn lucky that you weren't one of them."

Lexa turned back over to face the blonde, green eyes filled with ire as her lips pulled back into a snarl. "I'm lucky? The people who died were the lucky ones because they got to die honorable deaths. Sure, I survived, but I'm so weak that I can't even _walk_."

"Seriously?" Clarke snapped. "Is that the worst thing for you? Being temporarily weakened by your injury? You'd rather die? Don't be such a baby, Lexa. At least, you will get to walk again. It could've been a lot worse for you."

Lexa didn't let up on her glare. "This injury is the worst thing for me. Have you seen me? I have no way to defend myself if someone should attack me. I have no means of escape if I should wish to leave. I cannot even dress myself. Do you know what my people would do if they saw me right now? They would declare me incompetent, and I would be executed."

Clarke's brows furrowed. "Why the hell would they do that? You'll heal, and you'll be fine."

"If I had been left to my own people, I might never have healed. We don't have the kind of technology that you do, and our healers are not well-versed in treating the kinds of wounds such as mine. I don't think that I would've healed without you, Clarke," Lexa admitted, her voice much calmer than it had been only moments ago. "Even so, my people would've expected me to have healed by now. At least, enough to keep up with my duties to the Commander. Since the process is taking so long, it is likely that they would think me too weak to carry on in my position."

"And they would kill you for that?" All traces of anger were now gone from Clarke's voice, replaced with a deep sympathy.

A nod was the only answer the blonde received, and she finally understood why Lexa was so upset over this. She had grown up in a culture that taught her that the weak didn't deserve to live. No wonder she was freaking out that she couldn't walk. Now, Clarke understood why Lexa would've preferred an honorable death in battle to living her life out like this. The brunette's pride was extremely wounded, and she probably felt like she had lost all sense of her dignity because she couldn't do even some of the simplest tasks right now. Like she had said, her people normally wouldn't recover from this, so maybe it was hard for Lexa to see right now that she wouldn't be this way forever.

Clarke's shoulders slumped, and she instantly felt guilty. "I'm sorry for losing my patience with you. I want you to know that you're not going to be this way for much longer. I promise that you _will_ walk again soon."

"How soon?" Lexa asked right away.

"Preferably, when your stitches are out, and your burn pretty much healed, so…about a week or so?" Clarke estimated.

"A week, Clarke?" Lexa's voice was a mixture of a growl and a whine. "I cannot be confined to my bed for another week. I have not been here more than five days, and it is already driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to lie in one place all day?"

Clarke shook her head. "I don't, and I'm sorry, Lexa. There's nothing that I can do to speed up the healing process. I'll try and spend as much time with you as I can so that you'll have someone to talk to."

"It's not just about that, Clarke. I want to be outside in the forest. I know you probably do not understand the desire, or maybe you do, but I just need a bit of fresh air."

"Lexa—"

"You can help me walk," Lexa pleaded, clearly not wanting to give this one up. "It will be humiliating to let all of your people know that I cannot walk on my own, but at least I will be out of this tent."

"Right now?" Clarke asked warily.

She ran a hand through her hair in exasperation when she received a vigorous nod for an answer. "I don't even think you can walk with my help right now, and you're too heavy for me to carry you. You need to stay in bed. Your stomach is torn to shreds, and your leg has a serious burn on it. Not to mention the fact that your legs themselves will feel pretty weak from five days of total inactivity."

"I need to be in the forest," Lexa green eyes were as wild as the jungle. "Please just let us try it. If I cannot do it, I promise that I will return to the tent without argument."

Clarke knew that she was already starting to cave despite the voices in her head that were screaming at her that this was a terrible idea. She decided to try to get out of this one more time. "I don't want you getting hurt any more than you already are."

Lexa was getting angry again, the growl from earlier creeping back into her voice. "I _will_ walk tonight. With or without your help."

Clarke honestly felt the urge to pull out her hair at Lexa's unwillingness to relent to Clarke's clear instructions and superior medical knowledge. She didn't want to allow Lexa to set back her healing time any further because it was clearly upsetting the brunette. Clarke wanted to get Lexa back on her feet as soon as possible, but she could also see that her patient was on the brink of losing her mind. She supposed that she could simply watch as Lexa tried to make good on her threat to walk on her own, knowing that the warrior wouldn't make it out of the tent, but she definitely didn't want to have to deal with a feral Grounder if Lexa snapped. Clarke didn't want to admit it, but she thought that Lexa could probably still take her out, even in the warrior's current injured condition, if she was angry enough.

"Fine," Clarke relented. "We'll go for a walk, but I don't want to hear about how much it hurts."

Butterflies fluttered in side of her when she saw Lexa's eyes light up with excitement, but she knew that that emotion wouldn't last once Lexa actually tried to walk. Or maybe it would. Clarke could never be sure with Grounders.

All of Clarke's instincts told her that this was possibly the worst idea that she had ever had, but she didn't know what else to do, and she wished that Lexa didn't push her to her limits like this. She also wished that she didn't feel such sympathy for this girl who was supposed to be her enemy.

In this tent, they were anything but enemies.

"But only after you eat and take your pain herbs," Clarke stipulated, trying to gain back a bit of her stern and authoritative tone.

"Of course, Clarke," Lexa said obediently, but Clarke didn't miss the smirk that was on the warrior's face.

It was the smirk of someone who already knew that she had won.

* * *

Once Lexa had eaten her fill, Clarke carefully looped an arm around the Grounder's waist, pulling her to her feet. Lexa cried out in pain the minute that she was standing, and Clarke instantly began to lower her back down. "And that's it, we're not going."

Lexa didn't allow herself to be lowered, doing her best to stand her ground. "I am fine, Clarke. I only needed to get used to being on my feet. Let us walk."

Clarke stared at her patient warily, but Lexa didn't break her hard gaze, clearly not about to back down anytime soon. Clarke slowly started them forward, and the pain was immediately evident on Lexa's face in the clench of her jaw, the way her eyes closed and her face scrunched up practically every time she took a step. Clarke didn't stop though, wanting Lexa to do as much as she desired tonight so that she could see that she wasn't completely weak and helpless. She could tell that walking was already proving to be extremely difficult for Lexa, but she was happy to see some of that pain fall away when Lexa actually stepped outside, clearly more than a little excited to be out of the tent again. She didn't smile, not exactly, but her eyes did, and that was all that mattered. Clarke really liked those expressive green eyes already, especially when they were lit up like that.

Walking proved to be a painstakingly slow process, as Lexa's movements were stiff, and Clarke was supporting at least half of the warrior's weight, but Clarke was very patient, intent to let Lexa take things at her own pace. Lexa stumbled over her own feet for the first couple of steps, and Clarke could tell that it was frustrating her, but there was nothing else that she could do except for give Lexa reassuring squeezes and inform her that she was doing great. The brunette didn't show any desire to stop either, and Clarke knew that she would walk Lexa around the whole damn camp if the other girl was feeling up to it. She knew, though, that Lexa didn't want to be in the camp at all. She more than likely wanted to go out into the forest, and since she was already up on her feet, Clarke decided that she would take her. She began to steer her patient in the direction of the gate, hoping that the distance wouldn't discourage her companion.

The warrior carried on, making it all of the way to the gate before the two of them stopped, Clarke nodding at the guard to open it for them. She nearly fell over when Lexa slumped heavily against her, and she did her best to support the majority of the Grounder's weight. The guard, Dolian, didn't make any move to open the gate, simply staring at Clarke with a conflicted expression, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I don't know if I can," he admitted. "Bellamy said not to let her leave."

Clarke tried not to let her surprise show on her face. She would've thought that Bellamy would be overjoyed to see this Grounder go. She supposed she would never understand him, but she also would never take orders from him.

"Bellamy's not in charge here." Clarke stood up a little taller, exuding the utmost confidence. "I am."

"No one's in charge down here," Dolian argued immediately.

"Oh, really?" Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Then, why are you listening to Bellamy?"

The boy awkwardly cleared his throat, and Clarke knew that she had won. She tried her best to keep the smirk off of her face, but she knew it showed as Dolian rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose I could let you guys through. I better not get in trouble for this."

"Relax," Clarke assured him. "I'm just taking her for a walk."

She cringed at the words that had just come out of her mouth. She had made it sound like Lexa was an animal that needed to be taken out for exercise, like the people in old movies would do for their dogs. However, this cruel wording seemed to resonate with Dolian. He nodded in a completely willing way, now that he understood that Clarke was the one with the upper hand, that Lexa wouldn't be escaping and coming back to kill them all. Clarke wished that her people wouldn't think so badly of the Grounders when some of them were so amazing, but she supposed that she couldn't be angry with Dolian right now. She had been the one to say the words, after all.

The two girls slowly made their way outside of the gate, but Lexa looked considerably worse for wear. She was gritting her teeth constantly, and her face was scrunched up now more often than not. She was trying to bite back her whimpers of pain, but more and more were escaping as they walked further.

"We can stop if you need to," Clarke said gently, even though they were only a few yards from the camp.

"I have to keep going," Lexa insisted. "I do not want the people in your camp to see how weak I have become."

Clarke wanted to argue that Lexa wasn't weak at all, but she had already learned that Lexa couldn't be argued with, so she nodded as she continued to help Lexa through the woods. She wished that her patient could enjoy being outside more, but she supposed that would come when they finally decided to stop for a break. Lexa turned her head into Clarke's neck to muffle her cries, and the blonde felt herself supporting more and more of the other girl's weight. She really wished that she had some way to comfort Lexa, that she could stroke the warrior's brown hair like she normally did, but it was all that she could do right now to keep both of them on their feet.

Lexa didn't stop until they had finally gotten far enough that they could no longer see any trace of the camp. "Okay. We can stop now."

Clarke was slightly disappointed. As they had been walking, Clarke had noted the direction that they had taken, and she had been hoping that they would walk just a little bit further. She bit her lip nervously, not wanting to ask because she knew how much Lexa was hurting, but still wanting to ask because it was only a short walk further. She supposed that Lexa wouldn't hesitate to disagree if she didn't want to go, so she decided to bring it up and see what happened.

"Do you think you can make it a little bit farther? There's something I really want to show you." Clarke scuffed her shoe against the ground, starting to ramble as her nervousness took over. "I mean, you've probably already seen it, but it's kind of beautiful, and I'd love to see it again with you."

Lexa raised an eyebrow, the hint of a smile touching her perfect lips. "The glowing plants?"

Clarke nodded, a little surprised that Lexa had guessed it so easily, and the warrior nodded back. "I have not had time to enjoy those plants since I was a child. I think that I can make it a bit further in order to enjoy them now."

They set off again at a slow pace, nearly falling down a steep incline that led into the clearing, but they ended up remaining on their feet. Clarke already knew that there was no way that Lexa would be able to climb back up that hill, so they would have to walk around it on the way back.

Two sets of eyes lit up at the sight of the blue glow of the plants that were now in front of them, Clarke finally letting go of Lexa when the other girl grabbed onto a low-hanging tree branch for support. The blonde immediately shook out her arms as she moved closer to the flowers, loosening her cramping muscles now that she didn't have to hold Lexa up anymore.

"These flowers are beautiful," Lexa said with a sort of childlike wonder. "I have not seen them in quite some time."

Clarke nodded in agreement, marveling at the beauty of Lexa's face lit up in the ethereal glow rather than the beauty of the flowers. This setting seemed to cast the years off of Lexa like the breeze would blow off the seeds of a dandelion, and Clarke didn't think that she'd ever seen the brunette look so excited before. Here she was, finally out in the forest and surrounded by these lovely plants, and it seemed like she had temporarily forgotten her pain. Her legs hadn't though. Both of them were shaking, and Clarke couldn't help it as a laugh escaped her lips.

"What is so funny?" Lexa asked in confusion.

"Your legs," Clarke explained simply.

Lexa looked down at the aforementioned appendages. "I do not find this funny so much as concerning. What is wrong with them?"

"You overexerted yourself, Lexa, that's all. They're tired of holding up your weight."

"I did no such thing," Lexa said stubbornly, raising her chin and drawing herself up to her full height.

As if to prove herself further, Lexa let go of the branch that was holding her up and took a few tottering steps over to join Clarke by the flowers. She didn't make it very far, though, tumbling over a tree root and landing right on her ass. Clarke couldn't help but find Lexa to be adorable, even as the brunette growled in frustration. However, the effects of the glowing forest seemed to rub off on Lexa, too, because a giggle suddenly bubbled up from her lips when she turned her eyes up to meet Clarke's, and then the both of them were laughing. Magic seemed to surround the two girls in this clearing and hide them away from the world, creating for them a place where there was no struggle to survive, no divide between Grounders and the people who fell from the sky.

Clarke's eyes sparkled, and Lexa's eyes sparkled, and soon enough, Clarke was pulling several of the plants from where they grew, gathering a nice bouquet in her hands. She thought about handing them to Lexa as a token of the peace that had settled between them, despite the war of their people, but she wanted to do something else instead.

When she turned back to the girl on the ground, she saw that questioning green eyes were trained on her, but Clarke didn't even bother to explain, instead boldly dropping herself down into Lexa's lap. She kept some of her weight off of the Grounder, balancing on her knees and shins, but Lexa easily pulled her the rest of the way down, silently assuring the blonde that it didn't hurt to have her sit across her thighs.

A smile had formed on Lexa's face at their sudden closeness, and Clarke began weaving the plants into Lexa's hair without a single word. She was afraid to break the silence that had formed between them because she felt that it might break the magic of the clearing as well. She didn't want to go back to the trials of everyday life. For just a little while longer, she wanted to pretend that the rest of the world didn't exist and that she had actually entered some kind of carefree paradise with Lexa.

Once a beautiful flower crown had been formed on Lexa's head, Clarke wove the remaining flowers that she held in her hand throughout Lexa's long brown locks. She pulled back to see that Lexa herself now looked ethereal, lit up by the flowers in her hair. She almost looked like _she_ was the one who was not from this earth. She looked regal, like a goddess that had descended from the heavens just to smile brightly at Clarke. The blonde certainly felt as she imagined one would if they had been smiled on by a goddess.

"What is this for?" Lexa finally broke the silence, yet the magic seemed to remain intact, the brunette smiling wider than Clarke had ever seen her smile.

"You," Clarke said happily. "You look absolutely beautiful with those things in your hair. Not that you don't always look beautiful, but you look like royalty tonight. Like the queen."

Lexa pulled a face. "Only the Ice Nation has a queen."

Clarke rolled her eyes playfully, finding the other girl's confusion cute. "Fine. Then, you are the Commander."

Lexa's eyes immediately fell away from Clarke's, and her smile vanished. Clearly, Clarke had done something to make the brunette uncomfortable, and she wondered if it was wrong to joke about the Commander. Octavia had said that the Grounders viewed their Commander like a god. Maybe Lexa was afraid that her Commander would hear them or something. Or maybe what Clarke had said had simply been disrespectful. She didn't think that the Commander would be the type of person to wear a flower crown. No matter what it had been, Clarke just wanted to see Lexa smile again, so she opened her mouth to apologize, but that was the exact moment when green eyes found hers again.

Flowers danced as Lexa slowly shook her head. "No. I am Lexa. That's all I want to be."

Green eyes were slightly moist and plump lips slightly parted, and Clarke quickly caught onto the gravity of the statement. Lexa only wanted to be Lexa in the same way that Clarke yearned only to be Clarke. Both of them had to sacrifice themselves for their people on a daily basis, and it seemed that they were both tired of it.

Tonight, Clarke vowed they would only be Clarke and Lexa.

"Yes, you are Lexa," Clarke agreed.

The brunette nodded, and Clarke felt her stomach do a flip when she noticed those pretty green eyes drop down to her lips for a moment before lifting back up to blue. She wondered if Lexa might be about to kiss her, and more than that, she wondered if she might want the warrior to do just that. She couldn't deny that her body's immediate reaction would be to accept the kiss, but she wondered if she actually felt that way about Lexa or if she just craved that human connection. She certainly had been developing some sort of emotional attachment to Lexa in the past few days, but she didn't think that she knew enough about the Grounder yet to be interested in her like that, even though she could tell just by looking at her that this girl was incredibly attractive. Besides, Clarke didn't feel like she was ready for any sort of relationship right now. The heartbreak after what had happened with Finn was still fresh in her mind.

She pulled back slightly, feigning ignorance to the situation, so that Lexa wouldn't have the chance to go through with her kiss, even if she wanted to. Clarke thought that she saw Lexa's face drop as she scooted off of the brunette's lap to lie beside her, but she couldn't be completely sure. Lexa recovered almost instantly, lying out on her back beside Clarke and wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist. Clarke sighed at the touch, leaning her head against the brunette's shoulder. She relaxed against Lexa, the symphony of the night almost lulling her to sleep before the melody of the brunette's voice called her to attention again.

"What was it like? Up in the sky?" Lexa asked quietly as she gazed up at the stars.

"Not nearly as free as it is down here. We were confined to one big machine called the Ark, stale air, artificial lights, constant hum. Each family was restrained to one child to save oxygen, and every crime was punishable by death for anyone over eighteen. That's why I love it here, even if I have to lead and make hard decisions. We're still free. We get to make the rules, and we have the whole world in front of us. We have all the sounds of the forest, real sunlight, the running water of the river, animals, fresh air on our cheeks. The only thing we had in space was a nice close-up view of the stars."

Lexa was quiet for a moment, seemingly thinking about what Clarke had just said, perhaps even imagining what it might have been like to grow up in space, much like Clarke sometimes wondered what her life might have been like had she grown up on the ground.

"I suppose you are not missing out on much then, Clarke," Lexa murmured. "You are brighter than the stars. And more pleasing to look at."

A huge smile spread across Clarke's face at the seriousness in the Grounder's tone and the nonchalant way in which she had said the words, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Lexa smiled back at her, and Clarke practically purred when she felt a gloved hand rake through her blond curls. She didn't think that Lexa had ever played with her hair before, and she found that she loved it almost as much as she loved playing with Lexa's own hair. She felt the urge to kiss Lexa senseless right then and there, but she restrained herself, finally sitting back up and helping Lexa to do the same, replacing the flowers that had fallen out of Lexa's hair.

"We should probably get back to camp," Clarke said reluctantly after meticulously placing the last flower. "It's late."

Lexa's smile fell away again, and her eyes dropped to her lap, making Clarke feel bad for breaking their moment yet again. However, Clarke didn't want to start anything with the other girl when they knew so little about each other, and she wanted to make sure her feelings were absolutely true before trying to pursue another relationship. Plus, she knew for a fact that Lexa was always more open at night, and she didn't want the warrior to do anything that she would come to regret in the morning. Especially if Clarke didn't regret it at all. She knew that going back to camp would probably end up being the best thing for both of them, even though it was clear that neither girl ever wanted this night to end. Clarke didn't miss the way that Lexa bit her lip when the blonde stood up, a habit that it seemed she had already picked up from watching Clarke do it.

"I don't think I'm going to be able to walk again tonight." Lexa hung her head in shame. "My stomach is still hurting, and I can barely even feel my legs anymore."

Clarke was back in Lexa's lap in an instant, guiding green eyes back up to meet blue. "That's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not even surprising due to the amount of walking you did today when you shouldn't have done any. You were strong today. I don't think any of my normal patients would've been able to handle that like you did. You're hurt, and this is perfectly normal. We can stay here tonight."

"Are you sure?" Lexa asked, and Clarke got the feeling that she wasn't only talking about staying in the clearing.

"Positive." Clarke playfully tapped Lexa's nose, drawing a small smile from the other girl's lips. "We can even cuddle."

Clarke helped Lexa scoot back against the tree behind her so that the brunette could lean against the tree while Clarke leaned against her. The blonde burrowed into the warrior's chest then, finding solace and comfort in these arms that were slowly becoming familiar to her. She wondered if there would come a time when she wouldn't be able to sleep without Lexa, and she didn't want to admit to herself that that time had probably already come.

In the magic of the clearing around her, Clarke allowed herself to think that she would never have to sleep without Lexa again because the two of them were the only two people in the world. There was no one to tear them away from each other, no lines drawn between them. They were just two girls who had their entire lives ahead of them.

Clarke hummed contentedly against the material of Lexa's coat, falling asleep to the orchestra of the crickets all around her and the steady heartbeat of the girl with the flowers in her hair.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday, Clexakru! This chapter hasn't been betaed because my beta is having computer problems, so I apologize for any mistakes that I have not caught while editing. Enjoy!

"Clarke, are you alright?" a worried voice asked.

The blonde quickly recognized it as Bellamy's, and she let out a groan, wondering what he could possibly want. She didn't like to be woken up in the morning, and she especially didn't want to have deal with someone who acted as ridiculous as Bellamy had been lately. She couldn't even begin to fathom why he was asking if she was alright when she was just lying here, but she supposed she needed to find out, no matter how much she didn't want to. She groggily blinked her eyes open and tried to raise her head, only to find that she was locked in a firm grip.

Lexa.

The memories from last night came rushing back to Clarke. Their walk to the clearing. The magic of the night away from the camp. The incredible feeling of simply being who they were. Falling asleep without a care in the world. Clarke now chuckled into the brunette's coat, raising a hand to rest gently on top of the hand that was holding her head down.

"Lexa, let go," she said gently. "It's okay."

"Is this not Bellamy?" Lexa asked with a hard edge to her voice.

"Yes, and I know you don't trust him. You have good reason not to, but I promise that he won't do anything to hurt me."

Lexa reluctantly let up on her grip due to the confidence in Clarke's voice, and the blonde raised her head from its place against Lexa's chest, turning to see Bellamy standing a few feet away from them with Connor and Miller by his side.

"What the hell, Clarke?" Bellamy said immediately, his irritation clear. "I went into your tent this morning, and I found both you and the Grounder gone. I was already worried at that point, but then Dolian told me that you two had gone out for a walk yesterday night and never returned, and I instantly feared the worst. I sent out more than one search party for you, one of which I am leading myself, and I was afraid this whole time that I would come across your mangled body shoved under a bush or something. Instead, I come out here to find you, what, snuggled up with her?"

Clarke let out a long sigh, wondering why she even bothered to explain herself to this boy. She didn't owe him an explanation at all, but she gave one anyway. "Listen, Bellamy, we just went for a walk. I tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted that she needed some fresh air, so we came out here to get some peace and quiet away from the camp. I really did intend on coming back before falling asleep, but by the time we got here, she was exhausted, so we stayed out here for the night."

Bellamy didn't seem the least bit satisfied. "That still doesn't explain why you were letting her hold you."

Clarke smirked internally at Bellamy's supposed jealousy because he was the last person on the planet that she would ever want to be with. However, she didn't let it play out on her face. Instead, she rolled her eyes, losing her patience with his incessant questioning. "I let her hold me because I wanted someone to fucking hold me. I don't have people lining up to sleep with me like you do."

"She's a Grounder," Bellamy argued. "You know what Grounders do? They murder people. What if she had killed you in your sleep?"

"If she wanted to kill me, she'd have done it already. She's certainly had plenty of chances," Clarke huffed, crossing her arms. "Besides, she could still kill me whether she's holding me or I'm lying a few feet away. Lay off, Bellamy. I'm not your sister, and you can't tell me how to live my life. Please leave me alone."

Bellamy stared at Clarke with an open mouth for a few moments, as if he couldn't believe that she would dare talk to him that way. When Clarke didn't even flinch, he drew himself up in what was probably meant to be a menacing posture. "I may not have reason not to trust her now, but the minute I do, you can rest assured that she will be punished for it."

"Whatever, Bellamy." Clarke was sure that he meant to sound intimidating, but he sounded rather childish instead. Blue eyes rolled again as Clarke laid her head back down against Lexa's chest to spite the boy who was probably fuming right now. She closed her eyes and willed him to get the message and leave.

After a few moments of silence, Clarke cracked an eye open to see Lexa glaring at Bellamy, who looked like he was about ready to breath fire, and she had to fight the urge to chuckle when Lexa wrapped her arms protectively around Clarke again. The blonde did nothing to fight the Grounder, instead adding her own glare to the mix, and Bellamy finally stormed away without a word, his companions following behind at a slower pace.

Once they were out of earshot, Clarke wanted to rant about how stupid and obnoxious Bellamy was, but all that escaped from her lips was a burst of giggles at the ridiculousness of the scene that the boy had just caused. Lexa clearly couldn't help but join in, and Clarke felt like her heart was about to burst when she heard the sound of the warrior's tiny giggles. They were so cute that Clarke was strongly tempted to kiss the other girl's nose, but she restrained herself. She wanted to make sure she wasn't going to get hurt again before she even let herself think of being anything more than friends with this girl.

The flowers around them had long since lost their glow in the morning sunlight, but Clarke thought that they still looked very pretty in Lexa's hair. She wondered what Lexa had thought about Bellamy seeing her with a crown of flowers atop her head. She thought that the brunette probably would've been more than a little bit embarrassed, so it was likely that Lexa had forgotten that they were even in her hair at all. Clarke plucked a petite bud from the precariously placed crown on Lexa's head and placed it in her own hair.

Only then, did Lexa blush slightly. "Bellamy saw me with these flowers in my hair like a child, and he still thought me to be threatening?"

"Don't worry about him," Clarke said easily. "He's nothing but a fool who doesn't trust anyone but himself. I know that you're not dangerous unless you have to be, and I also know that our people should live together in peace. At least, that's what I want."

"I think that I am starting to want that, too," Lexa said in a soft voice, and Clarke could tell by the look in her eyes that she meant it. Green eyes darted down to pink lips again, and Clarke braced herself for the kiss that might follow, but Lexa cleared her throat instead. "I am also starting to want a bath. Can we go to the river?"

A wary look passed over Clarke's features, as she was unsure how to answer. She didn't want the warrior to feel weak, but she also didn't know if it was a good idea to bring her to the river when she hadn't taken her pain herbs since last night. "I don't know if that's such a good idea, Lexa. I mean, the river isn't very far from here, but it's in the opposite direction from camp. Do you really think you can make it all the way back after that?"

A stern look settled over Lexa's face, and she lifted her chin. "I am a warrior, Clarke. Of course I can make it."

Clarke sighed, but she didn't dare argue with the other girl, already having experienced how stubborn Lexa could be. It seemed that Lexa would have to learn her lesson the hard way, and Clarke knew that she had no choice but to allow her to do just that. She hummed her approval and easily got to her feet, stretching her muscles. She hadn't missed the way that Lexa eyed her enviously when she was able to rise to her feet so easily.

She wished she had.

Instead of acknowledging it, knowing that it would only lead to another argument between the two of them, Clarke extended her arms down to Lexa and slowly pulled the Grounder to her feet. Lexa winced at the pull on her wounds, but other than that, she seemed fine. Clarke dutifully wrapped an arm around the other girl's waist, ready to make the short journey to get clean.

The walk to the river was slow, and Clarke could tell that Lexa was feeling worn out once they got there, but the brunette didn't even once ask to pause or even show signs of wanting to. She was certainly a stubborn one, stronger than any of Clarke's people would have been in this situation.

When they arrived, a boy named Landy was getting dressed, clearly having just taken a bath in the river. Clarke was relieved to see the young boy there, knowing that he was much more likely to listen to her than one of the older members of her people. She called him over.

"Yeah, Clarke?" he asked, seemingly not even bothered by the Grounder that she had her arms around. The blonde wished that all of her people could be like this.

"Could you grab me some clean clothes from my tent? I hadn't planned on bathing this morning."

"Absolutely," he said happily. "Do you want me to get some for her, too?"

Clarke was about to tell him that that wouldn't be necessary, but Lexa quickly answered for herself. "Yes, please, that would be much appreciated."

Surprised blue eyes instantly turned up to Lexa, Clarke barely even noticing as Landy nodded and walked off in the direction of the camp. She had never in a million years expected Lexa to respond this way. The brunette had been very adamant about rejecting Clarke's offers to give her more comfortable clothes up until this point. Lexa didn't bother to explain herself, though, to Clarke's annoyance, instead staring ahead with an impassive look in her eyes.

"Lexa?" Clarke prompted. "I thought you wanted to keep your own clothes."

The warrior sighed. "I did, but I am willing to try out your material. It does look much more comfortable, and I might as well fit in as much as I can during my stay here. It's easier for your people to hate me when I look exactly like what I am."

Clarke gave her a disapproving glance. "Don't change just because of my people. Who cares what they think?"

"I'll be fine, Clarke. It's probably not the best thing for me to wear the same clothes every day anyway."

Giving Lexa a tiny smile, Clarke fought the urge to tease the stoic girl, not wanting to push her luck. Lexa began to take off her clothes then, seemingly ready to get in the water, and Clarke began to undress as well, having already decided that she might as well take a bath while they were there. The blonde had her clothes off within seconds, while Lexa struggled a bit, using a rock for support, but Clarke wouldn't dare intervene unless Lexa asked for help.

When Lexa finally succeeded in removing all of her clothes, bandages, and the flowers from her hair, she turned around, green eyes widening at the sight of a naked Clarke. She clearly hadn't expected the blonde to bathe with her, but Clarke wasn't about to go in the river to help Lexa with her clothes on; the warrior had to know that. Clarke blushed under the intensity of the other girl's gaze, watching as green eyes dropped down to settle on her chest. The younger girl felt the sudden urge to cross her arms over her chest, hoping that Lexa didn't find her to be ugly.

"I'm taking a bath, too, Lexa," Clarke reminded her companion, clearing her throat. "I'm not going to do it with my clothes on."

"Of course not. My apologies, Clarke." Green eyes came back up to meet blue. "I simply did not realize that your chest was so big."

Clarke felt as if she might die from the absolute mortification that she was feeling in that moment. "I know. I honestly hate it. Anytime I wear a form-fitting shirt, everyone's eyes are on my chest. That's why I try to wear looser shirts all the time."

"I think your chest is nice," Lexa said quietly, seeming a bit shy all of a sudden.

Blond eyebrows sprang up in surprise. "You shouldn't be jealous, Lexa. Small breasts are nice as well. I certainly wish I had them."

"Clarke, that's not—never mind." Lexa cleared her throat. "Let us wash ourselves."

The blonde stared curiously at Lexa, wondering what the other girl had been about to say. She wondered if the warrior might have actually made that chest comment, not because she was jealous of Clarke, but because she was into Clarke. It seemed strange to hear her make a comment like that in the light of day, as such things were normally reserved only for the nighttime. Perhaps, she was starting to trust Clarke a little more, just like the blonde was starting to trust her. For a brief moment, Clarke allowed herself to think about what it might be like to kiss Lexa, wondering what the Grounder's lips might taste like, if she was a good kisser. The blonde had never even kissed a girl before, had never really wanted to, but now she found that she kind of did.

The heated gaze that the two of them had been sharing while lost in thought broke when Lexa began to move painfully towards the river. Clarke grabbed a washcloth and soap from the box of supplies that her people kept near the rocks and quickly looped a supportive arm around Lexa's waist, helping her into the river. Once they were deep enough, Clarke thought about how she wanted to do this, supposing that the easiest way was to keep Lexa afloat on the surface, while Clarke washed out the most important area, so that the warrior wouldn't have to keep supporting her own weight.

"I'm going to help you float while I clean out your stomach area," Clarke informed her, receiving the permission she sought in the form of a nod.

Keeping a steady hand on the small of the Grounder's back, Clarke brought Lexa to float on the surface while she cleaned the area out as meticulously as she always did before bringing Lexa back to her feet.

The warrior shot her a confused look. "Aren't you going to clean the rest of me?"

"You can clean yourself in the shallow end if you want to," Clarke offered, and Lexa nodded enthusiastically.

When they reached the shallow water, Clarke sat down with her legs underneath her, wanting to protect her more sensitive parts from rocks and shells. Lexa caught on quickly to what Clarke wanted her to do, lowering herself into the blonde's lap and accepting the washcloth that Clarke handed her. The blonde simply watched as Lexa cleaned herself thoroughly, helping the other girl to keep her balance when she had to stand to clean her lower body.

Once Lexa was all squeaky clean, Clarke helped the Grounder unweave the braids in her hair and asked the girl to lean back so Clarke could wash her hair. Surprisingly, Lexa allowed this, and Clarke was extremely happy that she was getting to run her fingers through the long brown locks. There was something much more intimate about washing the hair that her fingers were now tangled in, but she tried her best not to think about it as she worked.

Her head turned to the side when she heard a shout from the shore, suddenly on alert, but she sighed in relief when she saw that it was only Landy, returning with the fresh clothes that she had asked him for. He set them down on one of the rocks beside their box of supplies, and Clarke waved to him in thanks. He nodded once in reply, a smile still adorning his youthful face, before he disappeared into the forest again, not wanting to intrude on the two girls' privacy.

Once Clarke had cleaned Lexa's hair out, she patted her cheek affectionately. "All done."

Lexa nodded and accepted Clarke's help to stand so that the two of them could make it back up to the shore. Once they reached it, Clarke handed Lexa a towel and helped her to get settled on a rock, so she could rest for a bit. She hoped that she wasn't fussing over Lexa too much, but she was more than a little worried about her patient staying out of bed this long, especially since the warrior hadn't eaten or taken her herbs today. If the blonde was being a little overbearing this morning, Lexa didn't seem to mind, as she simply accepted the help instead of fighting it. She seemed to be much calmer today, and Clarke wondered if it had to do with the fresh air.

"I'm going to wash myself up now." Clarke grabbed a clean washcloth from the box. "You can get dressed whenever you're ready, and feel free to let me know if you need help."

"Thank you, Clarke," Lexa said with a tiny smile, and Clarke turned away with a nod before she could do anything stupid at the sight of that smile.

She slipped into the cool river, trying to wash her growing feelings for Lexa away with the dirt. Needless to say, that wasn't how things worked, no matter how much Clarke wished it was. She was glad that Lexa had gotten the chance to bathe in the river, though. The Grounder had looked so much more at peace with the water flowing around her, and Clarke only wished that the river was closer to the camp so that Lexa could bathe in it every day.

When Clarke finally rejoined Lexa on the shore, she couldn't help but smile at the sight of Lexa dressed in her new clothes. She didn't look nearly as threatening without her hair done up in that ornate fashion, and she looked much more docile in a red sweater and black leggings than she had in those fierce-looking Grounder clothes. She looked different, that was for sure, but it was a good different. She now closely resembled one of Clarke's own people, suddenly looking like she had shed a few years along with her clothes.

Clarke didn't think that the warrior had ever looked more like Lexa.

The brunette slid off the rock that she had been resting on when Clarke came up to meet her, and the blonde easily looped an arm around the Grounder's waist, despite the fact that the other girl looked unsteady on her feet. She didn't want to argue with Lexa or keep asking the other girl if she was okay, but the thought of the brunette walking all the way back to camp still made Clarke uneasy. The warrior had already been walking too much, and Clarke wished more than anything that she could carry Lexa. She knew that Lexa would never allow such a thing, though. She would probably consider that to be humiliating.

Their walking pace on the way back to camp was agonizingly slow, but Clarke didn't even think to complain. She thought the pace should be slower. However, Lexa persevered, not even saying a word as she trudged through the forest.

As they walked on, Clarke found herself supporting more and more of Lexa's weight, and the Grounder started whimpering in pain, clutching tightly to her stomach. Clarke wished that she had thought to ask Landy to bring her some pain herbs along with the clothes.

When they were only minutes from the camp, Lexa was beginning to tremble with the effort of holding back her cries of pain. Clarke had all but promised herself that she wasn't going to say anything unless Lexa did first, but she found that she couldn't hold back anymore. She couldn't stand the sight of Lexa in such immense pain without at least trying to do something about it. "Lexa, are you okay? We can stop if you need to."

"I'm fine, Clarke," Lexa gritted out through clenched teeth. "We're almost there."

They reached the camp entrance without Lexa collapsing, which sort of surprised Clarke, and the Grounder drew herself up upon entrance, trying her best to hold most of her weight. She clearly wanted to look as if she only relied upon Clarke for slight support. The blonde had to admit that she was pretty impressed, because she knew how much pain Lexa was in, and greatly relieved, because Lexa was heavy for Clarke to hold up. Clarke didn't miss the sheen of sweat that was decorating Lexa's forehead, though, and she knew that the warrior was pushing herself far beyond her boundaries.

Upon finally reaching the tent, Clarke gently laid Lexa out in her bed again, and the brunette let out a keening wail of agony, clutching tightly to her stomach. Clarke hurriedly grabbed the pain herbs from her supply corner, dropping down beside Lexa as the other girl wailed again.

"Lexa, sit up and eat these," Clarke coaxed.

The warrior's arms moved a bit, looking as if they wanted to push the other girl up, but it was as if Lexa's pain was making it hard for her to respond. "I can't even move, Clarke. Please help me."

Lexa sounded as if she were gasping for breath, and Clarke couldn't help but be a little scared. "We shouldn't have stayed out there all night. We shouldn't have even gone at all. We're not doing this again, Lexa. You will stay in bed until you're healed."

Lexa only nodded, and Clarke wondered if she even knew what she was agreeing to or if she was in too much pain to care. The blonde propped Lexa up on her own, sitting behind Lexa and allowing the warrior to lean against her. She held the herbs up to Lexa's lips, but to her chagrin and confusion, those plump pink lips didn't part.

"I will not have you…feed me like an infant…Clarke," Lexa got out.

Clarke sighed in frustration. "It'll only cause you more pain right now to try to move your hands up and grab them. Do you want that?"

Lexa was silent for a few moments before she shook her head.

"That's what I thought." Clarke held the herbs up again.

This time, Lexa accepted the leaves, opening her mouth and pulling them in with her teeth. She chewed them up and swallowed them down, and then she was back to trembling in pain, an unpreventable wail escaping through her lips every few seconds. Clarke wished that there was a way that she could take Lexa's pain away faster, but she knew that there was nothing she could do but wait. She also knew that everyone in the camp could probably hear Lexa's cries, and they weren't going to like it. She remembered how they had reacted when Jasper, one of their own, had been injured and groaning in pain. She could already hear frustrated shouts from somewhere outside.

"What the hell is going on in there?"

"Will someone shut that fucking thing up?"

Clarke's blood boiled at the way that the latter person had referred to Lexa as a thing, as if she wasn't even good enough to achieve animal status. The blonde knew that her people thought of the Grounders as less than human. Hell, even she had thought it from time to time when she had seen some of their harsh ways, but she couldn't stand for anyone to think that way about Lexa. This warrior was just as human as the rest of them.

Clarke clutched Lexa to her protectively, not wanting anyone to think they had a chance of hurting her, and she felt dread flow through her when she felt the wetness over Lexa's stomach. She hoped with all her heart that it was just from the bath they had taken not even an hour ago, but she looked down to see a pool of black spreading over the red material of the sweater. Pulling the sweater up again, Clarke's fears were confirmed when she saw that Lexa had pulled a few of her stitches. She closed her eyes in the hopes that this problem might disappear with her sight, but she had no such luck. Sure, a lot more of the stitches could've, and really should've, been pulled, but still, if Lexa was in pain now, she was about to be in so much more.

"You pulled some of your stitches," Clarke told the girl in her arms. "I'm going to have to stitch you back up before you lose too much blood."

Lexa nodded dazedly, and Clarke took that as her cue to lay the other girl back out on the bed. She moved to grab her stitching supplies in a haze of panic, worried that she might be about to lose Lexa because of one stupid lapse in judgment. She knew she couldn't freak out right now, though. She needed to keep her wits about her while she worked if she wanted to help Lexa, so she tried her best to enter into the doctor mode that she had watched her mom working in countless times before.

She dropped down beside Lexa with her needle and gently lowered it down to lace a new stitch through the wound that had been reopened. However, the minute that the needle pierced Lexa's skin, she screamed at the top of her lungs, and Clarke instantly withdrew, having been frightened by the sound.

"It's okay, Lexa." Clarke tried to reassure her patient by running her fingers through brunette hair. "You're gonna be okay."

It wasn't okay, and Clarke knew it.

She should've been more careful, should've known better than to take Lexa out on a walk through the forest so soon after she had been injured. She _had_ known better, yet she had done it anyway, had allowed herself to be swayed by the pleas of this girl who seemed to be able to bend Clarke's will as easily as a Siren. She shouldn't have allowed herself to give in.

This was all her fault.

At the sound of the tent flap opening behind her, Clarke nearly sprang to her feet, worried that it was Bellamy or someone else who was coming in here to kill Lexa. Clarke sighed in immense relief when she realized that it was only Raven. She turned an inquisitive gaze on her friend, asking with her blue eyes what it was that the mechanic had come in here for.

"Clarke, you have to keep her quiet," Raven immediately warned. "People are already threatening to come in here and kill her."

"Well, what do you want me to do?" Clarke asked in exasperation, already feeling extremely stressed out by the whole situation. "She's in fucking pain."

"Sedate her," Raven said without thought, as if she had come in here with this idea already in her mind.

"Rae, you know we were only sent down here with four sedatives, right? I have to save them for emergencies."

"This is an emergency if you want that girl to live." Clarke could tell by the urgency in Raven's voice that the mechanic wasn't kidding. The situation was serious. "Besides, you'll only hurt her more than necessary if you're trying to do surgery on her while she's awake."

"Fine," Clarke relented. "I'll sedate her. Tell everyone to calm the hell down."

Raven nodded, her mood more serious than Clarke had ever seen it. "Will do."

The older girl ducked out of the tent, and Clarke turned back to her patient to see wide green eyes focused on her. "You are going to sedate me?"

Clarke didn't miss the way that Lexa said "sedate" as if she had never heard the term before. "It means that I'm going to put you to sleep. That way, you won't be in pain anymore, and you won't feel it when I stitch you up."

Lexa's brows furrowed adorably in her confusion. "That is not possible. You cannot—ahhhh—you cannot make me fall asleep."

Rather than offering a verbal response, Clarke grabbed one of the needles filled with sedative from the small box that she had kept in her tent for safekeeping ever since they'd found it. Lexa looked at it warily, shaking her head when Clarke brought it closer. Clarke's face fell at the Grounder's reaction. She wasn't going to stick Lexa with the needle without her permission, but she hoped that she would be able to get the Grounder to see reason. "Lexa, this is only going to knock you out for a little while. You'll wake up again soon. Do you trust me?"

"Yes." Lexa slowly nodded, looking almost reluctant, like she wished she could say no.

"Hold my hand, and keep looking at me," Clarke instructed, wanting to keep the other girl's mind off of what she would be doing.

Lexa did as she was told without argument, clasping onto Clarke's hand as the blonde stuck the needle into Lexa's neck and squeezed the syringe. The blonde was certain that the pain of the needle wouldn't even register with the brunette compared to the pain that was currently coursing through her body.

After a few seconds, Lexa's beautiful green eyes rolled back into her head, and her hand fell limp in Clarke's. The blonde found that it was incredibly hard to watch this Grounder be knocked out like that, and she finally understood why her mother had cried when a five-year-old Clarke had been put under for surgery on the Ark. It was hard to watch someone you cared about collapse like that.

Clarke knew she shouldn't care that much about Lexa.

Now that Lexa was asleep, Clarke replaced her stitches with ease, relieved that the warrior could no longer feel her pain. Lexa always looked peaceful when she was asleep, but she looked even more peaceful like this: hair loose and flowing, her clothes not even resembling armor in the slightest. She looked like the girl it seemed she was so desperate to be, and Clarke wished that she would stay here forever, that she would never have to go back to her people. The blonde didn't know what she would do when she had to say goodbye to Lexa, but she took slight refuge in the knowledge that the other girl had probably just prolonged her stay a little bit more by pulling her stitches.

She laid her head out on Lexa's chest, intending only to listen to the warrior's heartbeat for a few seconds to reassure herself that Lexa was still alive and well. She knew she was lying to herself, though, when she felt her eyelids begin to droop, and she supposed that a little nap wouldn't hurt anybody.

She rested her hand protectively over Lexa's stomach as she fell asleep.

* * *

Blue eyes blinked open hours later at the sound of rustling near the tent flap, and Clarke saw Raven making her way into Clarke's tent for the second time that day. The blonde raised her head from where it still remained against Lexa's chest, trying her best not to blush at the fact that yet another person had seen her cuddling with Lexa today. However, Raven didn't comment on it at all, didn't even make a single joke, and Clarke could see that her serious mood from earlier hadn't left. "What happened?"

"The Grounders are coming."

Clarke was instantly alert. "To attack?"

Raven shook her head. "I don't think so. The lookout can only see three of them, but we can never be too careful. There could be more hiding in the bushes or something."

"Tell the guards to stand down and let the Grounders inside. I'll talk to them." Clarke moved away from Lexa to follow Raven out of the tent, but the warrior stirred the minute she lost contact with Clarke.

Sleepy green eyes blinked open and settled on Clarke's standing form. "Where are you going?"

"Some of your people are here, and it seems like they're coming in peace. I'm going to talk to them and see what they want."

Clarke instantly regretted telling the truth when Lexa attempted to get up and follow her. "You can't come with me. I promise I'll tell you everything later, but for now, you need to lie still."

Knowing that she didn't have time for an argument, Clarke whirled around and left the tent before Lexa could respond, hoping that the other girl would have sense enough to stay put. First and foremost, Clarke didn't want Lexa to follow for her own safety, so that she didn't tear her stitches again, but she couldn't deny that selfish part of her that didn't want to chance the Grounders seeing Lexa and demanding to take her back.

It seemed that Lexa was the talk of the camp when Clarke emerged from her tent, as many people were already speculating that she was the reason these Grounders were coming.

"They probably want the girl back," people were saying in hushed whispers.

"Just give them the damn girl," Miller said to Clarke when he saw her.

"Nobody mentions the girl, okay?" Clarke raised her voice so that everyone could hear, speaking in the most authoritative tone that she could muster. "As far as any of you are concerned, she doesn't even exist."

The camp fell silent, and Clarke was satisfied when she received several obedient nods. She was so happy that Bellamy wasn't here to challenge her about this, and she thought what a stroke of luck it was that he had gone out on patrol. The gates were opened, and the Grounders walked confidently into the center of the camp. Clarke recognized Anya at the forefront of the small group, and the younger girl calmly made her way over to meet the warriors, head held high.

"We come in peace," was the first thing out of Anya's mouth.

"Your people were marching upon my camp not even a week ago," Clarke challenged. "What changed?"

"We are awaiting further orders from the Commander."

"So, we're only at peace until your Commander decides to strike again, huh?" Clarke crossed her arms over her chest, trying her best to appear and sound tough. "What do you want, Anya?"

"We have reason to believe that you have taken our Commander as a hostage," Anya stated, face remaining stoic. "We are here to collect our _Heda_."

"We don't have your Commander." Clarke tried not to let her surprise at the accusation show on her face. "What made you think that we did?"

" _Heda_ was with the army on the bridge and has not yet returned."

Clarke was done with the accusations and the emotionless expression on Anya's face. She took a step forward, suddenly feeling confident, even though she knew that this warrior could probably kill her in the blink of an eye. "Maybe your Commander shouldn't have been dumb enough to try to attack my camp."

Anger twisted Anya's features slightly, and Clarke had to fight the urge to smirk at the fact that she had finally gotten a rise out of this woman. "You should not dare speak about the Commander in that manner. _Heda_ would cut out your tongue for saying such a thing."

"Well, too bad _Heda_ isn't here. Not in this camp and probably not even on this planet anymore. There were no survivors on the bridge. He probably burned in the explosion."

Something changed in Anya's expression when Clarke said this, but the warrior didn't respond in any way that Clarke might have expected, given the situation. Anya wasn't sorrowful, and she didn't remain angry. Instead, she looked annoyed.

She turned to her guards with a scowl. " _Em no get in enti in hashta Heda. Hoz op_."

Clarke was left to blink in confusion after the retreating Grounders as they walked out the gate, wondering what it was that Anya had said, why it was that she was leaving when she had been so sure only moments ago that Clarke and her people had taken the Commander as a hostage. She knew that she would never understand why Grounders did the things they did, so she tried to shake it off and hope that this tentative peace between their two peoples would last. Clarke wondered briefly if the man that Finn had shot had been the Commander, but she quickly brushed the thought aside. If that was the case, then the Grounders would have already known that he was dead. He must have been closer to the center. He must have completely incinerated or been so burnt out that he was now unrecognizable. She wondered if Lexa had been close to this man, and she thought that the answer was most likely yes, what with the work she did for him.

Clarke couldn't help but feel a little guilty that she and her people might have taken yet another thing from Lexa.

* * *

The moment she heard Anya's voice in the camp, Lexa pushed to her feet, almost biting through her tongue at the pain. She intended to run outside to meet her, but she only managed to make it a few steps before she slumped into a stool that was by the tent entrance. She sat still for a moment, wanting nothing more than to let Anya know that she was here, let Anya save her from these people. The only thing that kept her in the tent was her fear of letting her mentor see how weak she had become. She knew that Clarke didn't think her to be weak, but Anya would, and Lexa didn't think that she would be able to stomach the disappointment that would surely play out in her mentor's eyes. Lexa had never seen anyone as weak as she was now, and it honestly scared her. It was hard for her to believe she would ever get better, no matter how many times Clarke had promised her she would. If any one of Lexa's people had been injured in such a manner, they would've surely died when left to the skills of their own healers. Lexa knew that she would've been dead right now as well if not for Clarke.

Even more, it was embarrassing to be so weak, and she was already hanging her head in shame when she thought of how she would collapse to the ground if she tried to make her way to Anya now. Still, she didn't want to stay in this strange camp with these people that hated her any longer. She wanted nothing more than to go home, and she was determined to do exactly that. Even if she made a fool of herself in the process.

Listening in to the conversation, Lexa brightened at the realization that her mentor knew that the Skaikru had taken her hostage, and she felt sort of bad that Clarke had no idea how correct Anya was. Lexa had thought about telling Clarke the truth about her position more than once, but she had decided against it, not knowing the blonde healer well enough yet to be sure that she would keep it a secret. That information would be too dangerous right now if it got to the ears of someone like Bellamy.

Lexa bristled when she heard Clarke call the Commander dumb for trying to attack her camp. What was she supposed to do? Let the Sky People murder hers without consequence? She couldn't have possibly known that this small group of people would have such advanced weaponry. She snickered when Anya defended her, threatening that _Heda_ would cut out Clarke's tongue for saying such a thing. It was true. Under normal circumstances, Lexa would have punished a person in exactly this way for speaking of her with disrespect. She knew that she would never do it to Clarke, though. She wanted that girl's tongue to stay right where it was, for reasons she wouldn't even allow herself to think about.

When she heard Clarke refer to the Commander as male, Lexa couldn't help but scoff. Were all of the leaders of the Skaikru male? Is that why Clarke thought she had to share her leadership with Bellamy? The leaders of Lexa's people were almost always female, but she supposed there was no way for Clarke to know that when she had barely met any of them. Lexa was wondering why Anya hadn't done anything to try to find her yet when she heard her mentor say that Clarke didn't know anything about the Commander. She almost fell off her stool when she heard Anya announce that they were leaving, and she listened to their retreating footsteps in shock. It seemed like Anya had given up on the fact that Lexa was being held hostage here, even though she had been so sure only moments ago. Then, she understood. She realized why Anya had even come in peace in the first place and why she had sounded so annoyed when she had given the order to leave the camp. She was masking her hurt. This had been a last resort attempt to find Lexa, and it seemed to Anya that she wasn't there.

Anya thought Lexa was dead.

Lexa knew that she needed to make her move now. If she didn't let Anya know she was here, then her mentor would tell everyone she was dead. They would probably appoint a new Commander, and her position would no longer be waiting for her when she returned. This was her last chance to go home, and she needed to let Anya know she was alive, no matter how embarrassing it would be for Anya to see that she couldn't even walk.

She was halfway off her stool when she stopped in her tracks, realizing that she had another option now. If her people thought she was dead, maybe she never had to go back. Maybe she never had to reclaim her position as Commander, a position she had never even wanted in the first place. Sure, she didn't really like it in this camp because she wasn't used to the ways of these people, and most of them hated her, but at least she wasn't expected to be anyone other than Lexa. Isn't that what she had always wanted, always longed for, but knew she could never have? Now, it was possible. Lexa had no idea what she might've wanted to be if warrior training hadn't been crammed down her throat since she was two. She would be able to figure it out if she stayed here with the Skaikru because they had the freedom to choose what they wanted to be. Come to think of it, they seemed to share most responsibilities anyway, from what Clarke had told her. Perhaps, _she_ could become part of the Skaikru. As a member of this clan, she wouldn't be expected to be anyone other than Lexa. She would be allowed to choose her own destiny. She could be so weak that she couldn't even get out of bed, and she wouldn't be looked down upon for it.

She could be free.

Lexa did stand from her stool then, but she didn't exit the tent. Instead, she made her way back to her bed and carefully laid back down with a pained groan. It seemed that she had gotten back to bed just in time because Clarke was pushing into the tent mere seconds after Lexa's groan had died away. She tried to discreetly move her hand away from where it had been clutching her stomach, not wanting Clarke to suspect that she had tried to escape, as that would blow her chances of becoming a member of the Skaikru right away. Now that the blonde was right in front of her, though, she was a little nervous to ask, wondering if this could possibly be what she really wanted.

Clarke quickly picked up on the intensity of Lexa's gaze, and the brunette watched as blue eyes filled with curiosity. "What is it?"

Lexa bit her lip, knowing that she needed to make a decision. Now was as good a time as any to tell Clarke that she wanted to be a member of the Skaikru, and she needed to go through with it before too much time had passed. Did she really want this, though? Could she really give up her place in the clan that she had been born into, surrounded by the people that she had known her whole life, in exchange for a lowly position amongst strangers? Lexa supposed it didn't sound so appealing when phrased like that, but these strangers had the one thing that her people could never offer her.

The freedom to choose her own path.

She didn't know if she would make a good member of the Skaikru, but she did know that she might be able to feel more at home here, in time, than she ever had in Polis. The only thing she wanted was to be free, and now that she finally had that chance, she wasn't going to reject it.

She wanted to be Lexa.

Green eyes looked up into blue with the utmost seriousness and sincerity.

"I want to be one of your people."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigedasleng Translations
> 
> Em no get in enti in hashta Heda. Hoz op. - She doesn't know anything about the Commander. Let's go.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely received a good array of responses about the plot twist at the end of the last chapter, and I'm happy that most of you were interested by it. I really hope that I do this story justice and that you will all stick around to see where I am taking it. Enjoy the new chapter!

Clarke found herself wondering if she had actually heard correctly the words that had come out of Lexa's mouth only seconds ago. It couldn't be possible. Clarke hadn't thought that Lexa would ever say a thing like that, yet she had. She was looking up at Clarke with serious green eyes, and the blonde needed to know what had changed this girl's mind. Only yesterday, she was insisting on keeping her braids and her clothes, seemingly counting the days until she could go back to her people, and now she wanted to stay?

Clarke shook her head in confusion. "Lexa, where is this coming from?"

The Grounder now looked confused as well. "My mouth?"

"No, it's—that's just something that my people say," Clarke corrected herself. "What I meant to say was, are you sure?"

"I don't know, Clarke." The warring emotions were obvious in green eyes. "I think so. My people probably think I'm dead anyway."

"How can you just leave them like that?" Clarke asked. "Surely, you have people you care about. Why don't you want to go back to them?"

"Your people are not so harsh as mine. I am a lot less free to do as I wish with my people. You could walk away from your people at any time if you needed a break, and you would probably be welcomed back with open arms. If I left my people voluntarily, they would most likely kill me upon my return. We are not allowed the same liberties that you are, especially not when our positions are high. I was born into my life as a warrior and my responsibilities because of my blood color. I was not allowed to choose. I'm tired of sacrificing myself for my people, and I wish to get the chance to live out the life that was stolen from me." Lexa looked down at her stomach with a scowl. "If I ever get better."

"You will, Lexa, if you rest," Clarke assured her.

"So, you keep saying," Lexa sighed. "I wouldn't be able to return to my people for some time anyway since I am taking so long to heal. My people deserve someone better than me. I don't even deserve the position I have right now."

"But what about when you get better?"

"They will have already replaced me with someone stronger, someone who actually wants the position that I held."

As much as Clarke had been blindsided by this sudden change, she couldn't say that she didn't understand it. The Grounders were harsh, and it seemed like they took immense joy in bloodshed. They didn't seem like the kind of people to form strong bonds with one another, like Clarke's own people. Besides, this girl was given responsibilities that she had never even wanted, and she had never had the chance to choose who she wanted to be, like Clarke had. Even though it was hard to lead her people, Clarke had been the one to take the initiative and stand up to fill that position for them. She might not have thought about exactly what the position might entail when she had put herself into it, but she had still chosen to lead. It wasn't forced upon her shoulders. Lexa might not have been the one leading her people, but she was more than likely still involved in helping the Commander to make many hard decisions, just like the ones that Clarke had already had to make in her time on the ground. Besides, it wasn't like Clarke led all by herself either. She certainly had help from Bellamy, even if she wished she didn't most of the time. Speaking of Bellamy, she wondered how he would take this news that Lexa wanted to become one of them. She knew that he would probably try to rally people against her.

"I'm sure no one will be able to fill your position as well as you do," Clarke said truthfully, "but I'll talk to my people about letting you stay."

She knew that the right thing to do was try to talk Lexa out of staying here because she could see the uncertainty that was still in green eyes. It probably wouldn't take much convincing to get Lexa to see that she didn't belong with Clarke's people. However, there was a bigger part, a more selfish part, telling Clarke to go through with it. She had already worried about what would happen when she was forced to part with Lexa, and now the brunette was lying here telling her that that might never have to happen, after all. Besides, it seemed that Lexa really did want this, so Clarke decided to allow it. She probably wouldn't be able to get it past Bellamy anyway.

"I honestly don't know how my people will respond to this," Clarke admitted, not wanting Lexa to think she was promising anything, "but, for what it's worth, I would like it very much if you stayed."

Lexa dipped her head in gratitude. "You are very nice, Clarke."

The blonde wished her heart hadn't warmed so much at that statement. It wasn't like Lexa had meant anything other than the obvious with it. "I really hope living here will live up to your expectations. I'd love it if you were able to find a home with us."

"I already feel quite at home with you."

Clarke blushed, wishing that Lexa didn't have such an obvious effect on her, and she hoped the brunette hadn't caught onto her face's rosy coloration. She wondered if it were actually possible that Lexa might be into her, or if she was making it up in her head as a result of her wishful thinking. She wished she was brave enough to at least find out, but she didn't think she could handle the embarrassment if Lexa wasn't into her at all. She also didn't think she could handle the disappointment. She awkwardly cleared her throat, gesturing to Lexa's blood-stained middle. "I'll get you a new sweater."

Lexa nodded, and Clarke turned from the tent, suddenly desperate to get away from this stifling sexual tension. She heard her name right before she opened the tent flap, and she reluctantly turned back, hoping that Lexa hadn't picked up on her awkwardness or her blush. Instead, Lexa looked a bit nervous, her hands fiddling with the hem of her sweater. "Could you get me a sweater that is similar to this one? I very much like this color."

Clarke couldn't help the wide grin that spread across her face at the adorableness of the request. "Of course, Lexa. I'll get you another red one."

* * *

After Lexa had received a new sweater, which Clarke had meticulously picked out, looking for the softest material, Clarke went in search of someone that she might be able to convince to take her side about Lexa's wish to stay with them. The smile that had adorned Lexa's face when she got the sweater, seemingly liking it even more than the old one, only confirmed for Clarke that she wanted to go through with this. Her head had already built up its fantasy of Lexa staying with her for the rest of their days, and she would be extremely disappointed now if it disappeared before it even had a chance to begin. That's why she was determined to get some followers first. She headed in the direction of the dropship, hoping to talk to Raven. The mechanic was probably the person that Clarke was the closest to here on earth, so she thought that the older girl would be the easiest to start with.

"Hey, Raven, could I ask you something?" Clarke sat beside the girl who was tinkering away with some bits of metal.

"If you're wondering what it is I'm working on, don't worry about it." Raven looked up with a grin. "It's not a bomb or anything that could explode, really. I'm just trying to make some more walkie talkies. I think it's a good idea for the majority of us to have access to one."

Clarke shook her head with a laugh. "While it's definitely reassuring that we're not going to have to put out any fires in the near future, I actually wanted to talk to you about something else."

"Go ahead." Raven set her tools aside. "I'm all ears."

"Lexa wants to become one of our people."

"Lexa, the Grounder?" Raven looked shocked, and Clarke could only nod in confirmation. "I did not see that one coming. Why doesn't she want to go back to her own people?"

Clarke only shrugged, not wanting to get into all the details if she didn't have to. "She says she likes it better here."

Brown eyes twinkled mischievously. "Maybe she has a crush on you."

Clarke blushed scarlet at the realization that she wasn't the only one who had been suspecting that Lexa might be into her. She wondered how Raven had picked up on it so easily, and she was quick to deny it. "She does not!"

"Relax, I was only teasing," Raven joked. "Maybe it's not her who has the crush."

Clarke tried her best to stop herself from blushing further, but she didn't think she was very successful. Of course, Raven had been joking. She couldn't have possibly picked up on any of the romantic tension, if there even was any, between Clarke and Lexa because she hadn't spent nearly enough time with them. Raven had just been joking around, like she always was, and Clarke had basically just admitted that she had a crush on Lexa because of her misunderstanding. She was beyond relieved when Raven chose not to pursue the subject, but she could tell from the wicked gleam in the other girl's eyes that she knew more than maybe even Clarke herself did.

"Seriously, though? I don't blame Lexa for wanting to live with us. Her people are pretty barbaric, and they don't seem to be the friendliest. It's got to be much better living like we do, even if some of our people are assholes sometimes."

"So, you'd be cool with her staying here?" Clarke asked hopefully.

"Definitely," Raven replied right away. "I don't have any problem with her."

"Do you think Bellamy will ever agree to this?"

"Do you think that Bellamy will agree to what?" a voice spoke from behind them, and Clarke cursed fate for allowing this obnoxious boy to return from whatever patrol he had been on and walk in here at this very moment. She had hoped to get many more people on her side about this before she took the matter to him. "You didn't bring home another Grounder, did you?"

"Actually, I was talking about the one who's already here," Clarke admitted. "She wants to become one of us, and I think we should let her."

"She's _not_ one of us," Bellamy said immediately with a scowl. "She's obviously just trying to spy on us or get close to us so that she can betray us or something."

"Bell, please," Clarke said with an exasperated sigh. "She's on our side. I promise."

"You only want her to stay here because you want to be with her romantically, and that's not a good enough reason."

"That's not the reason at all." Clarke felt her face begin to heat up again. "She literally asked me herself. This wasn't my idea."

"So, you're not denying that you have feelings for her?"

"That's not what I said."

"No, but you basically confirmed it indirectly."

"Guys, stop it," Raven spoke up. "You're acting like kindergartners. It doesn't matter who likes who and who doesn't. This is a serious adult matter that you two should handle like adults."

Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not accepting her as one of our own."

"You basically already have," Clarke argued. "She lives here and everything. She eats our food and gets our medical attention. She just wants to make it official. She doesn't want to go back to where she came from because she likes our ways better. Isn't this the best way to start making peace between our people and hers? If she really likes her stay here, then maybe she can talk to them about how we're not so bad, after all. We shouldn't turn her away just because she didn't grow up in space, and I'll vouch for her in front of our people. I don't want her to leave."

"This isn't about what you want, Clarke." Bellamy was clearly still irritated with her. "This is about what's best for our people."

"But what about her? She doesn't mean us any harm, and what she wants should be taken into consideration as well."

"I'm fine with her staying," Raven piped up. "If she doesn't want to go back to her people, then why should we force her to? Maybe she's a delinquent like you guys, and she doesn't want to go back to a life of captivity. How can you deny her a place here, Bellamy, after the things you did? You shot the goddamn chancellor."

"That was different," Bellamy said immediately.

"Was it? People here should reject you for what you did, but they don't because they all have their own grudge against the chancellor. Maybe this girl got in trouble with her leader, too. You did everything you could to stop the Ark from coming down here because you wanted to stay free. Maybe she wants the same thing."

Although Clarke knew that Lexa wasn't a prisoner among her people, she didn't bother to correct Raven. The mechanic had been right about one thing. Lexa just wanted to be free. Clarke couldn't really blame the brunette though. She certainly knew what it felt like to have a high position amongst her people, but she couldn't even imagine what it might feel like to be leading thousands instead of a mere hundred. If she had been injured and introduced to a new way of life, would she really be able to resist discarding her leadership responsibilities and starting over? She wished that she could say that she wouldn't with ease, but she knew that she would strongly consider it, at the very least.

Bellamy stayed silent for several long moments, and Clarke could tell that what Raven had said had gotten through to him, at least a little bit. He was starting to cave, and Clarke knew the one thing that would completely convince him. "Even if you let her join us, your rule can still stand. If she's one of us, she shouldn't be murdering people, so if she seriously hurts anyone, you can kill her."

Clarke could already see Bellamy nodding, and she tried her best not to smile at how easily he was manipulated. Of course, she wasn't going to let him kill Lexa, but she knew that if Lexa did snap and start hurting people, the Grounder would have to go. Clarke would help her escape if it came down to it. She didn't think that it would though. Lexa seemed too serious about her decision.

"Fine," Bellamy relented. "She can stay with us."

"Thank you." Clarke breathed out a sigh of relief. Her gratitude was directed as much at Raven as it was at the boy in front of her.

Bellamy only nodded. "We'll make the announcement at dinner."

Feeling much better now that Bellamy had agreed to it, Clarke nodded in response. She was still nervous, though, as to how the rest of her people would take it. She only hoped that they would be as easily persuaded.

* * *

Many of the Arkers were sitting around the fire, finishing up the remnants of their dinner when Clarke and Bellamy called for their attention, standing just outside of the area where everyone was eating. Conversation ceased at once at the whistle that Bellamy emitted, the one that meant that something important was sure to follow, and several heads whipped around to see what was going on.

"As you all know by now," Bellamy began, "Clarke brought in a Grounder a few days ago and is trying to save her from the effects of the bomb. You all probably expected her to remain here while she heals, but that will not be the case. Apparently, Clarke has gotten close to this girl over the past few days, and the Grounder has expressed her wish to become one of our own people."

Cries of outrage broke out around the camp, many people eager to voice their dissent, and Clarke's face fell. Bellamy allowed the people to get all of their initial anger and confusion out before calling their attention back to him. "I know she's obviously not one of us, but if she truly wants to live here, then who are we to deny her a place? We are not the savages here. Besides, as Raven pointed out earlier, she could've been in trouble with her people, too, just like we were. She could've been sent to die on that bridge, as we were sent to die on the ground. Sending her back to her own people now would be no different than sending one of our own back to the cruelty of the people on the Ark. Those people are gone now, so it's up to us to make the rules. Do we want to be just like them, or do we want to be better?"

Clarke had to admit that Bellamy was a great public speaker; the people who had been the loudest dissenters were already looking like they were reconsidering their previous thought process. However, Clarke couldn't resist jumping in and adding more. "This is very important to me personally as well. I have come to think of this Grounder as a friend, and she is really no different than us, apart from the fact that she grew up in a different environment. Besides, this will be a perfect first step towards making peace with the Grounders. If we can live in peace with this girl, it might help erase some of our prejudices against the people that we have to share the earth with. Bellamy was right when he said that the rest of our people are probably gone. Now, _we_ have to be able to figure out what's right for us, and I know that going to war with the Grounders will only end with us dead."

The camp was enveloped in silence for a few moments, and Clarke began to wonder if maybe she had screwed up the effects of Bellamy's persuasive speech. She had thought that she had been adding onto it, but maybe she had said the wrong thing. Her worry was short-lived, though, because people began to speak again shortly after she finished. Perhaps, they had just been waiting to make sure that Clarke and Bellamy were completely done speaking.

"I think she should stay." Octavia was the first to speak up, and Clarke wasn't surprised by her answer.

"I second that," Jasper said, prompting many people to nod along, and Clarke nodded gratefully to him. She knew that he had quite a bit of pull around camp these days after he had allegedly saved them all by shooting the Grounders in the trees when Clarke had first spoken to Anya. While Clarke had been angry with him at the time, she was now grateful for his improved status because people were now more apt to agree with him.

"I agree with Clarke as well," Finn added, provoking even more murmurs of assent. "We need to make peace with these people, or they're going to wipe us all out. I don't know about you guys, but I don't like our odds against them."

Fighting the urge to groan internally at the sight of the boy, Clarke tried to be thankful to him for agreeing with her. He was certainly well-known within the camp because he was their best tracker, but Clarke had been so wrapped up in Lexa for the past few days that she had honestly forgotten that he even existed. At least, that's what she told herself. It couldn't be because she was avoiding him. Deep down, she knew she was, though, and she had been ever since he had told her that Raven broke up with him because of his feelings for the blonde. Clarke knew that she didn't hold any sort of feelings for him anymore, and she didn't want to hurt him by having to let him down. She tried not to think about why those feelings had disappeared so quickly, but she was finding it harder and harder to deny that she was harboring a burgeoning crush on the girl who was the topic of discussion right now.

"What if she tries to kill us once she's healed?" Connor yelled out, snapping Clarke back to attention.

Bellamy turned to look at her, clearly waiting for her to answer, but she couldn't. She wouldn't tell all of her people that it was alright to kill Lexa, no matter what the brunette did. It was never right to take someone's life, and that had been her biggest disagreement with the ways of the Ark. No one should ever have to die for doing something as silly as some of the crimes on the Ark had been. Bellamy rolled his eyes at Clarke when she didn't answer, and he spoke up instead, giving the answer that seemed to please the more hesitant members of their people.

"Then, she dies."

Clarke tried not to shudder at his carefree tone.

* * *

After dinner, Clarke was whisked away on the most awkward border patrol ever with Finn and Myles. Clarke couldn't think of anyone she would want to go out on patrol with less. Myles didn't seem to feel the tension at all, talking to both of his companions as if nothing was amiss, but it was there all the same. Clarke was almost positive that Finn wanted to talk to her. He probably wanted to try to make a move on her again, but he clearly didn't want to say anything in front of Myles. That was why Clarke made sure to never keep Myles out of hearing range, even when he went off to inspect a broken arrow that turned out to be nothing more than a leaf. She could tell by the hurt look on Finn's face that he could tell what she was doing, but she really wasn't in the mood to deal with him tonight. He tried to make small talk with her after a while, and she tried her best to pretend she was interested in what he was saying, but she wasn't really listening to a word he said. She was relieved that Myles was more than happy to jump in when her half of the conversation was lacking, as that broke some of the tension that was starting to settle like a thick wool blanket between them.

When they finally returned to camp, Clarke wanted nothing more than to go back to her tent, but she had no such luck. Finn pulled her aside the minute that Myles walked away.

"Are you upset with me or something?" he asked, looking incredibly hurt.

"No. I'm just tired, that's all." Clarke lied so as not to hurt his feelings. She knew that she would have to tell him soon enough that she could never love him, but she didn't want to do it tonight. "It's been a long day."

"So, we're good?" Finn smiled slightly in relief, and Clarke couldn't help but feel bad that he had believed her terrible lie so easily. She knew it was only because he wanted to so desperately.

"Of course." She tried not to let her annoyance show through. "I'll see you tomorrow."

When Clarke finally stepped into her tent, she had to stop herself from letting out a long sigh of relief, not wanting to wake Lexa. She hadn't been lying to Finn when she had said that she was tired. The stressful situation of Lexa pulling her stitches had taken a lot out of Clarke, and then there had been the talk with Anya and having to convince her people to allow Lexa to stay with them. It was as if Clarke had been sent out on border patrol afterwards, with Finn nonetheless, for the amusement of the gods that she had read about as a child.

Clarke didn't know why her people even bothered with border patrol anymore. Anya had basically confirmed that there was now a tentative peace between their people until the Grounders received an order from their most-likely-dead Commander. Then again, Clarke supposed that the Commander could've survived unseen by Clarke and her people as a result of some miracle, or, in a more likely scenario, the Grounders could appoint a new Commander, who could be even more bloodthirsty than the last.

The tent was pitch black, but Clarke knew it like the back of her hand by now, after months of living in it, and she easily made her way over to her bed. She plopped down onto the blankets, immediately feeling for Lexa in the darkness, almost on instinct. When she felt the warmth of a back against her hand, she threw an arm around Lexa's waist, settling against her and burying her face into soft brunette hair. Before Lexa came along, Clarke used to lie awake at night for hours before she fell asleep, no matter how tired she was, haunted by the face of her father, of Wells, of her mother and the awful revelation that Abby had turned her own husband in. Lately, though, Clarke found herself much calmer when Lexa was in her arms or she was in Lexa's, and she found that she wasn't lying awake with the haunts of her past anymore at all. Even now, Clarke was already starting to nod off, comforted by the warmth of the girl in her arms.

"Clarke?" Lexa asked in the dark, pulling Clarke back into the world of the waking. She had thought the other girl to be asleep up until this point, and she wondered if she had woken the warrior with her entrance.

"Of course, it's me, silly." Clarke nuzzled brown hair affectionately. "Who else would come in here and hold you like this?"

Lexa let out a soft chuckle. "I know that it is you, Clarke. I was simply trying to get your attention."

"Oh." Clarke blushed, suddenly feeling like a complete idiot. She was glad that Lexa's back was turned. "What did you want?"

"Did you speak with your people?"

Clarke didn't even need to ask to know what Lexa was referring to. "Yes."

"And what did they say?" Clarke was pretty sure that she heard Lexa swallow nervously.

"You're one of us now, Lexa," Clarke said happily.

The brunette turned over then in Clarke's arms in order to look into blue eyes. Clarke thought she could detect a hint of awe in the green that she could see in the darkness.

"Really?"

"Really." Clarke burrowed her face in Lexa's chest, her cheeks suddenly feeling a bit cold without Lexa's curtain of hair upon them.

"Thank you, Clarke," Lexa murmured into her hair, clearly feeling the need to snuggle in as well.

A comfortable silence settled over the two of them after that, and Clarke felt herself falling asleep as quickly as she had the first time. She was disrupted again, though, this time by the girl in her arms turning over again to face away from her, the same way that she had been when the blonde had first entered the tent.

"I thought you didn't like to sleep on your side," Clarke said quietly, feeling a kind of sleepy confusion.

"It is true that it is least painful for me to lie out on my back," Lexa confirmed. "I had been asleep before you came in. I must have rolled onto my side while I was sleeping."

Clarke wondered if she was missing something because she was exhausted or if Lexa was really being as confusing as Clarke thought. The corners of her lips pulled down in a puzzled frown. "So, why are you lying on your side right now?"

Lexa was silent for several long moments before she finally responded, so long that Clarke had begun to think that she had fallen asleep. "I liked the way that you were holding me."

Clarke smiled brightly at the admission, her grin widening even further when she noticed that the tips of Lexa's ears looked red in the little bit of moonlight that was flowing inside the tent. Even though she didn't admit it herself, Clarke had also greatly enjoyed the way that she had been holding Lexa. She easily threw her arm back over the other girl's waist, holding her close, as she buried her face in brown hair again. "Then, that's the way I'll hold you tonight."

If Clarke could've seen her, she would've noticed that Lexa was smiling as well, albeit not as brightly as the blonde was. Clarke did notice it, though, when Lexa brought her hand up to rest over Clarke's own. It was a tentative touch, like Lexa was testing the waters to see how this touch would be received, like she was giving a tiny admission of possible feelings, and she wanted to see if Clarke felt the same. Clarke wasted no time in threading her fingers through Lexa's. She thought that she heard the other girl sigh in response, but she couldn't be sure. Clarke didn't know what exactly this meant for them, but she did know that she didn't care anymore. Lexa was staying, and Clarke wasn't so afraid that the warrior was going to hurt her anymore. She found that she might finally be ready for something more.

"Goodnight, Clarke," Lexa whispered into the quiet of the night.

" _Reshop, Leksa._ "

* * *

The next day, Clarke was sitting in the tent with Lexa, trading tales about growing up with their respective people when Lexa asked a question that changed Clarke's happy mood. "How long will it be until I can walk again?"

Clarke sighed, knowing that Lexa wasn't going to like the answer that she had to give. "Not for another week, at least. Maybe a week and a half."

She saw the hopeful light in Lexa's eyes dim out, and she couldn't help but cringe at the look of disappointment that replaced it. Clarke knew how hard it was for Lexa to stay in the tent all day, but they had both learned firsthand what happened when she tried to do too much before she was ready. The blonde wanted to make sure that her patient didn't have any more setbacks along the way. Still, she couldn't stand the look in Lexa's eyes, like she was in her own personal hell, and suddenly, Clarke found herself wanting out of the tent again. She didn't get up and run out though. She really liked spending time with Lexa; she only wished that she could stop letting the poor girl down.

When Lexa hinted that the blonde should probably go eat dinner, Clarke was quick to agree, needing a chance to get away from the girl in front of her and think about what she had done. That was the thing that bothered her the most. Not only was she letting Lexa down, she was the reason that Lexa was even injured in the first place. She couldn't help but hate herself for giving that order to blow up the bridge.

After grabbing her meat, she sat down by the fire with Raven and Octavia, just like she always did, but this time, she was locked in her own head, and it didn't take long for her friends to notice it.

"Clarke, why are you being so quiet today?" Octavia nudged the blonde girl's side.

"I'm not," Clarke argued. "I'm just thinking about something."

"No, something's bothering you." Raven saw right through Clarke's act. "What is it?"

The blonde glanced up at her friends, finally taking her eyes off of the meat that was in her hands, and she decided that she might as well just tell them. It would feel good to say this to somebody. "I'm upset because Lexa's upset that she's not healing fast enough."

"At least, she is healing," Octavia said. "That was a major injury she had."

"I know, but it's my fault she got that injury in the first place," Clarke said with sorrow in her blue eyes. "I hurt her."

"No, you didn't." Raven placed a hand on Clarke's arm in a comforting manner. "I was the one who built that bomb that blew up the bridge, not you, and Jasper was the one who took the shot. You didn't even come up with the plan. That was me, too. You didn't really even have a part in this at all."

"Yes, I did. Before he shot, Jasper looked to me for permission. We weren't supposed to kill any of those Grounders, but they were on that bridge after he missed his first round of shots, and he didn't know what to do. I gave him permission to blow Lexa and her people up."

Octavia nodded in understanding. "And you think that Lexa blames you."

"What? No. I never—"

"You do, Clarke. I can see it in your eyes. You know that you're the reason that Lexa's unhappy right now, and you think she blames you for what happened to her."

"She does blame me," Clarke said after a moment of silence. "Who wouldn't?"

"Someone who understands what it's like to have to do what's right for their people," Octavia said. "You might think it's your fault that Lexa got hurt, but you didn't have a _choice_ , and there's no way that Lexa blames you."

"Maybe you need to talk to Lexa about this," Raven suggested. "Then, you can find out for sure whether she blames you or not."

Clarke was already nodding along in agreement. "That's probably a good idea, but I'm not ready yet. I need some time to figure out what I want to say."

"And that's fine," Raven assured her.

"Will one of you guys bring Lexa her dinner tonight?" Clarke got up off of the log. "Tell her I went on patrol or something. And don't forget to make sure she takes her pain herbs."

"Absolutely." Octavia was already on her feet, always ready to help when it came to the Grounders.

Clarke, on the other hand, made her way out into the forest, needing a bit of time to herself to think about how she might bring this up with Lexa.

* * *

The next morning, Lexa stared miserably up at the ceiling, but not for her usual reasons. She wasn't miserable because of the fact that she wasn't allowed to leave the tent. She was miserable because she knew that Clarke was avoiding her, and she could honestly say that she missed the blonde already. She marveled at how attached she had already become to this girl that she had only known for a week, but she didn't hate herself for it anymore. She didn't think her attachment was such a bad thing, now that she knew she was staying.

Last night, when Octavia had brought her dinner, saying that Clarke was out on a border patrol, Lexa didn't think anything of it. That hadn't been the first time that had happened, and Lexa was already all too familiar with the way that the Skaikru was whisked away on patrols with little notice. However, Clarke didn't get back until far too late, and she was gone by the time that Lexa woke up. The only evidence that she had slept beside Lexa at all that night was her fading scent on the pillow in the morning.

Lexa wondered what it was that she could've possibly done, but she couldn't think of anything. Not even two days ago, Clarke had been excited to welcome Lexa in as one of her people, and now she was suddenly avoiding Lexa as if the brunette was the enemy.

She had never been the enemy to Clarke.

She played with the edge of her blanket in her boredom, expecting someone to bring her breakfast soon. She certainly didn't expect Clarke to be that person. Lexa's eyes widened in slight surprise upon seeing the other girl, but Clarke just handed her the food as if nothing was amiss. Lexa wondered if she had simply imagined the entire thing.

"You are not avoiding me then?" she asked anyway, just to be sure.

"I was never avoiding you," Clarke said in a tone that almost made Lexa believe it. "I mean, I was, but it was nothing you did. I was more upset about what I did." Lexa watched as Clarke looked down at her lap, waiting for the other girl to elaborate on what it was that she had done. "Yesterday, when I told you that you wouldn't be able to walk for another week or so, you looked so disappointed, and I couldn't help but feel awful because, well, _I_ did this to you."

Lexa pulled herself up into a sitting position with slight difficulty, holding her arms out to Clarke in the hopes that the blonde would allow the comfort. Clarke easily sank into Lexa's arms, and the warrior smiled slightly, beginning to rub Clarke's back soothingly. It was a bit hard for Lexa to remain in a sitting position with Clarke's weight now pressed against her, but she was able to do it with her hand propping herself up behind her back. "Clarke, please don't say that. What happened wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong."

The Sky Girl chuckled against Lexa's comfortable sweater. "Octavia told me you wouldn't blame me. I think I just needed to hear it."

"Of course, I don't blame you. You were only doing what was right for your people."

"Still," Clarke said, sounding more somber again, "I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt anyone, and I am so sorry for killing so many of your people. When Jasper missed the shot, we were all kind of panicking, and blowing you up was the only way to stop the attack." Clarke shook her head then. "I never should've let them go through with it."

Green eyes softened even further at the statement. Lexa felt that all too well. The weight of the decisions that she had to make for the sake of her people. The burden of feeling responsible for lives lost. At least, Lexa hadn't had a physical daily reminder of the things she had done, though, because that's what Lexa was for Clarke. A living, breathing reminder of the people that she had killed on the bridge. Lexa instantly felt bad for ever having complained about her injury at all. A week or two wasn't such a long time, and Clarke had been right before. Lexa was lucky that she had survived the bomb.

She was the only one.

"You might have been the one to give the order to blow up the bridge or agreed to it or however things work with your people, but you didn't kill everyone. You saved me, and that may not make up for the lives that were taken, but it's better than what the rest of your people did. My healers probably wouldn't have been able to save me like you did, and you were right when you said I'm lucky to be alive. Even if I am…" Lexa paused, swallowing thickly. "Even if I am _weak_."

Lexa spat that word out like a curse. All her life, it had been drilled into her head that she was not to be weak. It was the worst thing that the Commander could be, and Lexa hated being that way now, even though she didn't exactly consider herself to be the Commander anymore. Still, if Clarke didn't look down on her for being the way that she was, then maybe it wasn't as bad as Titus had taught her. She didn't know if she could really bring herself to believe that, though, and she had no clue why Clarke didn't see this situation the same way that Lexa did.

Clarke pulled back to look into green eyes as she spoke. "You're not weak, Lexa."

Green eyes sparked with frustration. Lexa knew that Clarke was only trying to make her feel better. "But I am." She hated the way that her voice cracked as she said this, trying her best to harden it as she continued speaking. "I cannot fight, I cannot train, I cannot hunt, I cannot go on any patrols whatsoever. I can't provide any assistance at all to your people. I am weak, Clarke."

The blonde was already shaking her head. "My people have a very different definition of weak. Weak is someone who picks on others to make themselves feel better, like Murphy. Weak is someone who is too afraid to trust anyone other than himself, like Bellamy. Weak is someone who is selfish and cruel. You're not weak, Lexa. You're hurt, and you will heal."

Lexa couldn't help the way that her eyes widened immediately at this new definition for weakness. She had never even considered the possibility that there could be another way to look at the word, but what if the Sky People were right? What if her people had been looking at it all wrong? That wasn't so hard for Lexa to believe anymore because, now that she really thought about it, Titus considered almost everything she did to be weakness. Love was weakness. Mercy was weakness. Injuries were weaknesses. Making the wrong decision was weakness. Being Lexa was weakness. That wasn't right, and Lexa could see that now. Being Lexa was what made her strongest, happiest. Titus was wrong, and so were the rest of Lexa's people. If they couldn't see that, then that only strengthened Lexa's decision to stay with the Skaikru. She would never be considered weak here, something she was sick and tired of hearing from Titus by now.

"I am not weak. I am hurt," Lexa repeated slowly, still the tiniest bit unsure that she could rewrite 21 years' worth of thinking in a single moment. "It doesn't matter that I can't contribute anything to your people and that I can't defend myself?"

Clarke nodded. "That's right. When people are injured here, they get as much time to recover as they need. We don't expect people to help around the camp when they physically can't, and if we're attacked, the rest of us will protect you from harm. You don't have to worry about it."

Lexa opened her mouth to argue, thinking that this sounded rather unfair, especially since it would be a bit of time before she was on her feet again. However, she was stopped by the raise of Clarke's hand and the shake of a pretty blond head. "Don't argue with me, Lexa. Just accept it."

The brunette nodded, content to listen to Clarke, but she still couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of uneasiness.

"You can repay the favor when you're able to walk again." Clarke winked at Lexa, and the brunette blushed, wondering briefly how the shutting of one eye could have such an effect on her. She knew that it was only because it had been Clarke who had done it.

The blonde was right though. Lexa would have plenty of time to make it up to the people who were taking care of her, and she knew that she needed to get better as quickly as possible so that she could do just that. If that meant she had to stay in bed for an unreasonable amount of days, then that's what she intended to do. She just wanted this boring part to be over so that she might be able to move on with her new life.

She was pulled out of her motivational thoughts by Clarke holding up her supplies. "So, how about we get you some fresh bandages?"

Lexa sighed, but she didn't argue, lying out on her back with a groan and pulling up her shirt. The only thing that made the situation slightly better was the sound of Clarke's amused laugh, a sound that Lexa knew, in that moment, that she wanted to be able to hear for the rest of her life.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter is a little shorter than usual, guys, but it's more of a filler chapter to connect the previous chapter with the one that comes next. I promise that the next chapter will be more eventful, and I hope that you will enjoy this one anyway! :)

The next few days went by in a blur for Lexa, each one bleeding into the others in her boredom, but that didn't mean that she wasn't counting. She wanted nothing more than to be back on her feet again so that she could see this new area that she was going to be living in and make sure that she was making the right choice. Until then, though, Lexa resolved to wait until Clarke said that she could walk again. She knew that the blonde would probably keep her in the tent longer than necessary after what had happened a few days ago, to make sure that Lexa would be okay, but the brunette also knew that she needed to listen to the healer. It had already been proven that she didn't know when she was okay to walk again.

Lexa hated the times that Clarke had to go out on patrol because that meant that she was left by herself with no one to keep her company. Most of the time, she found herself to be tired enough to sleep through her time alone, but there were some times where she would be left to lie awake with nothing to do. Those were the times that made her wish to be out in the comforts of the forest, perhaps surrounded by the blue glow of the flowers that Clarke had woven into her hair.

When Clarke wasn't on patrol, though, Lexa didn't mind it so much. She loved listening to the stories that Clarke told her about space, and she tried her best to picture what the Ark might have looked like and what it might have been like to live on it. Clarke, of course, wanted Lexa to reciprocate with the storytelling, so she did, telling true stories of her training sessions with Anya and her life growing up in Polis. The only thing that she left out was anything to do with her becoming the Commander. She knew that she would have to tell Clarke about that someday, but she didn't think it was going to be soon. She wanted to get to know Clarke better first and make sure that the blonde wouldn't be angry or turn her back on Lexa after hearing the information.

On the third day of Lexa's confinement to her bed, Clarke taught her a game called "tick tack toe." Lexa had no idea why it was called that or what that even meant. The game had nothing to do with ticks, tacks, or toes. However, Lexa didn't question it. She knew that it probably made much more sense to the Skaikru. Lexa simply nodded in answer to Clarke's invitation to play, and she watched as the blonde girl drew a small grid in the dirt.

"So, in the game, one person is X's and the other is O's," Clarke explained, drawing one of each in the dirt so that Lexa could see. "The object of the game is to get three in a row before the other person does."

Lexa nodded in understanding. To her, it looked like a battle plan. She needed to get her warriors in a line to blockade the enemies before the enemy got the chance to do it to her. "It does not seem hard. Let's play."

"You can go first," Clarke allowed.

Lexa placed her first warrior in the corner with an X. They played several of these games, and Lexa quickly caught onto the strategy of making it so that she could potentially have three in a row in two places at once so that Clarke could only block her in one area. Clarke started off winning the first few games, but, once Lexa got the hang of it, she was hard to beat. She didn't miss the look of slight awe and maybe a bit of pride that was on Clarke's face. "You're really good at this. You must be used to strategizing, huh?"

"I have planned many battles, a task that is much harder than this," Lexa answered. "I do not mean to be rude, but this game seems as if it was made for children."

Clarke laughed, although Lexa didn't know what she had said that was funny. "It is a children's game."

"Oh." Lexa's brows furrowed in confusion. "Then, why are we playing it? We cannot possibly learn any skills from a children's game."

"It's not about learning skills," Clarke said with an amused smile. "It's just a way to pass the time. It's meant to be fun. I guess your people haven't spent much time having fun, but you'll get lots of time to have fun here."

Lexa began to smile as well at the prospect. "I will look forward to it then."

Clarke nodded her approval. "Good."

"For now, though." A big yawn interrupted Lexa's speaking. "I'm starting to feel tired again, so I'd like to rest if that's alright."

"Of course, Lexa," Clarke answered immediately.

The brunette slowly lowered herself back down onto her bed, and she sighed in relief when she was lying. The ache in her stomach was slowly but surely receding, and she found that it was not so uncomfortable now for her to lie out on her side. She was rather excited at that revelation because she much preferred lying on her side to lying on her back.

She curled up facing away from Clarke, and she wasn't surprised when the blonde remained sitting on the edge of her bed. Even though Clarke wasn't tired, she always remained by Lexa's side until the brunette fell asleep. Lexa wasn't going to complain, though, because she was easily comforted by the presence of the Sky Girl, even when they weren't touching. At least, they normally didn't touch. Today was different.

Lexa felt a gentle hand begin to rub up and down her side, and she audibly sighed at the touch, instantly blushing and hoping that Clarke had not noticed it. She didn't say anything, so Lexa took that as a good sign. The brunette knew by now that she had feelings for the girl beside her, and she felt refreshed in a way that she hadn't since before Costia had died. Her life had begun to feel dry, emotionless, like she was watching someone else go through the motions of her day to day life. Now, though, she felt like she had finally come back alive again, like she finally had a purpose again, and that purpose was to be here with Clarke. She was trying her hardest to stop pushing her feelings away and just tell Clarke how she felt, wanting to see if there was a chance that the Sky Girl felt the same way, but every time she thought she had gotten up the courage, she lost it the minute she opened her mouth, and she said something else instead. She was afraid of the blonde's answer. She chided herself for feeling that way. Commanders weren't supposed to be afraid, but Lexa was because love was the one thing that was more important to her than anything else, and she didn't want to be denied the chance to fall in love with Clarke.

Lexa thought about saying something now, but she told herself that she was too sleepy at the moment to say exactly what she wanted to. As she hummed in contentment at the feeling of Clarke's hand rubbing back and forth along her side, though, she could feel the butterflies that were churning through her stomach at whirlwind speed.

She knew that she had never been more awake.

* * *

On the evening of Lexa's sixth day of bed confinement, Clarke came into the tent, after being out on a hunting patrol, with a bright smile on her face. "I have a surprise for you."

Lexa instantly perked up, pulling herself into a sitting position with relative ease. She had definitely been healing over the past few days, and Clarke had said that it was almost time for her stitches to be removed. Either way, her stomach felt a lot better than it had since she'd been hurt. It didn't feel like it was burning anymore before she took her pain herbs in the morning. It had lessened to a dull ache. Lexa would normally be wary of a surprise because it could really be anything, but she had come to trust Clarke, and the look on the blonde's face said that this surprise was anything but bad. "What is the surprise?"

"Well, you've been doing a lot better lately, and I know it's been killing you to lie in bed all day, so I was wondering if you might like to go sit out by the fire for dinner tonight." Clarke was looking nervously at the ground. "It's not a far walk at all, and it would give you a chance to talk to some of my friends more."

Lexa had no idea what Clarke had to be nervous about. Her eyes had lit up with excitement the moment that Clarke had mentioned eating outside. "Really?"

"Only if you want to." Clarke finally brought her eyes back up to meet Lexa's.

"Of course, I want to," Lexa said immediately. "Help me up."

A week ago, Lexa would've never in a million years admitted that she needed help. She would've insisted on pushing herself to her feet and probably falling right back on her ass. Now, though, she had grown accustomed to the fact that she needed help, and she knew that she would be foolish not to accept it. She also found it easier to admit now that she was starting to feel better, now that she could be sure that her present condition was only temporary.

She extended her arms up to Clarke, and the blonde immediately leaned down to wrap her arms around Lexa's waist, helping to pull the brunette to her feet and steady her. It still hurt to walk, especially Lexa's left leg, although the burn was healing up as well. However, the main thing now was that Lexa's legs were wobbly from disuse. She could feel that her muscles had receded and become weak, and she couldn't wait to make them strong again. The minute her stitches were out, she was determined to get back on her feet. For now, though, she accepted Clarke's steadying arms around her and made her way out of the tent as best as she could.

As they emerged from the tent, Lexa clung tightly to Clarke, but she wished that she were able to support more of her weight on her own. Not only was she probably heavy for the blonde, it was rather embarrassing for her to walk through the camp this way. She knew that she probably looked like a child who was first learning how to walk. She certainly felt like one. However, no one looked at her with disdain or contempt. No one really looked at her at all.

When they reached the fire pit in the center of the camp, Lexa sank down onto a free log with a relieved sigh. She was really glad that Clarke's tent was not very far from the camp's center because Lexa didn't know how much farther she could've made it. She didn't feel like pushing herself to her limits again today. She would save that for the day her stitches came out. Lexa was quite proud of herself for being able to sit upright on the log without any kind of support. That might have been the only thing that she could really do, but she cherished it, glad that she was able to appear no different than anyone else around the circle now that she was sitting.

Clarke gave Lexa a gentle pat on the shoulder before heading off in the direction of the meat tent with the promise that she would be right back. Lexa found herself feeling nervous all of a sudden, and she wondered if maybe she should put her stoic mask on, as she always did when she was around people she didn't know. She pushed the thought away as easily as it had come though. She already recognized Octavia and Raven, and she didn't see Bellamy amongst the others. These were Clarke's friends, and Lexa had nothing to be afraid of. Besides, if she slipped back into her old ways, then what was the point of starting over here? She needed to be Lexa and only Lexa, so she let herself relax.

"How are you doing, Lexa?" Raven was the first to speak. "Are your wounds healing up nicely?"

"I don't know much about the healing process," Lexa admitted, "but Clarke says that I am doing great. I certainly feel a lot better."

"I haven't seen you much lately," the mechanic commented.

"That is because Clarke has insisted that I am not to walk until she allows it," Lexa said with a slight scowl.

"I'm sure that's only because you pulled your stitches last time you tried walking," Octavia said. "Clarke just wants you to get better as soon as possible. She knows you don't like lying in bed all day."

"No, I do not," Lexa agreed easily. "I am hoping that I do not have to for very much longer."

"You won't," Octavia promised. "You'll be up and at 'em in no time, and I'm pretty excited to be able to see you more often. I'm really happy that you're doing better."

Lexa was surprised at the sincerity that she heard in Octavia's tone. The other girl barely knew her, yet it seemed that she already cared. Lexa remembered what Clarke had told her about Octavia being raised in one room her whole life with only her mother and brother as company. The younger girl was probably pretty excited at the chance to make friends now. Lexa was about to respond to her, perhaps to ask the meaning of this phrase "up and at 'em," but a shaggy-haired boy sitting on the log across from her called her attention away before she could.

"I'm really happy that you've chosen to become one of our people, and I look forward to spending time with you as well," he said. "I'm Finn, by the way. I really hope that we're able to make peace with your people."

Lexa didn't return his warm smile. She didn't even think about it. She recognized him now from the day that she had almost died. She had been half-delirious then, so it had taken her a moment to put together the pieces, but she knew now. He was the one who had shot Artigas in the head.

"If you wanted peace, you wouldn't have murdered one of my people in cold blood." Lexa's lips curled back in the beginning of a snarl. "I remember you, Finn. You tried to kill me."

"I'm sorry," he said, sounding sincere and looking as if he knew what he had done had been wrong. "I realize now that what I did was stupid, but I only wanted to put you out of your misery. I didn't think there was a way to save you, but I guess I shouldn't have doubted Clarke's medical abilities."

She nodded along then, her anger slipping away. He didn't seem to be lying, and could she really blame him for his thought process? Only days ago, she had wanted to be put out of her misery as well.

When she turned her gaze to the other two boys who were sitting on the log next to hers, she hoped that they might introduce themselves, but they were both staring down at their feet. They almost looked guilty, and Lexa was greatly confused as to why. She had never even met them before.

The boy with the floppy hair finally looked up to find Lexa watching him, and his eyes immediately flew back down to the ground. However, he actually took the time to introduce himself, something that Lexa was grateful for. "I'm Jasper, the one who took the shot that exploded your people. I'm sorry for hurting you. I wish that I hadn't hurt anyone."

Before Lexa could open her mouth to reassure him in the same way that she had reassured Clarke almost a week ago, the Asian boy beside his added his own guilt to the mix. "My name is Monty, and I'm sorry as well. I may not have actually taken the shot or built the bomb, but I was the one who brought Jasper another gun. Without it, there would've been no explosion."

"Don't worry about it," Lexa said gently. "I'm not angry at you because I got hurt. I understand why you had to do what you did. You were only trying to protect your people, something I have had to do many times."

"Thanks, Lexa," Jasper said, a goofy grin breaking out on his face. "You're pretty cool."

Lexa had to resist the urge to check her temperature to see if her skin really felt cool. She knew that this term must have a different meaning to the Skaikru, one that probably made a lot more sense in this situation. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Jasper seemed to realize his mistake. "It is. It means that you seem like a good person, and I'd like to get to know you better."

"I hope to get to know all of you better as well," Lexa reciprocated, eliciting smiles from her new companions.

"Can I ask you a question?" Raven spoke up next, a curious glint in her brown eyes.

"That depends on what you are hoping to ask," Lexa answered easily.

"Why do you want to be one of our people?"

"I want to be free," Lexa admitted easily. "My life was chosen for me the minute I was born, and I want a chance to choose my own path. Your people do things so much differently, and I have to know what it's like to not be forced into any position."

"But your people seem so badass," Octavia argued. "I'd love to be one of them."

"You might love to be a warrior, but at least you have the freedom to choose it for yourself." Lexa tried her best to keep her envy out of her voice. "I have been training to fight since I was two, and I can't help but wonder if I would've ever wanted to be a warrior at all had I been given the choice."

Lexa was saved from doing any further explaining on why she had chosen to stay here by Clarke finally returning with the meat. Lexa graciously accepted some as Clarke sat down beside her. "So, what are we talking about?"

The brunette caught a tiny smile on Clarke's face, and she instantly knew that the Sky Girl had purposely taken a while to grab the meat so that Lexa would have a chance to talk to her friends.

"Lexa was telling us why she wants to stay with us rather than be a badass warrior," Octavia answered.

"Don't be rude, O," Clarke chided the other girl. "You might not want to be a warrior so bad if you had been forced to be one since childhood. How about we talk about something else?"

Lexa was glad for the out to this conversation, not wanting to have to argue with Octavia about it any longer. She would readily switch places with Octavia now. Let her see how hard it was to be the Commander. However, she wouldn't want to switch their entire lives. Lexa wouldn't want to live her entire life confined to one room, and she supposed that the other girl had had even less freedom than her up until this point. Maybe Octavia wanted to join Lexa's people and leave her own behind for similar reasons to why Lexa wanted to join Skaikru. The people of the Ark seemed just as structural and cruel as Lexa's own.

As the conversation flowed into more general and basic topics, Lexa began to eat her meat, thinking that it tasted so much better outside in the forest clearing with the sky above her than when she was surrounded by the foreign material of the tent. Then again, perhaps it was simply a different kind of meat than Lexa was used to eating here, and she was just too taken with the beautiful sight of nature around her again to notice.

Once she had eaten her fill, Lexa began to feel a bit tired, and she hoped that Clarke might suggest that they go back to the tent again soon. Lexa's stomach felt contently full as she rubbed it gently, and she was glad that her appetite was finally returning. She hadn't wanted to eat as much in the days right after her injury, and she figured it was probably because of the much greater amount of pain that she had felt in those days. She was really relieved that she was finally able to eat her fill again now that she was healing, but she wished that she wasn't getting so drowsy from all the food. Clarke did seem to pick up on Lexa's growing sleepiness, but she didn't suggest they return to the tent, as the brunette had hoped. Instead, she pulled Lexa into her to lean against her. Lexa immediately tensed up at the action, not because she didn't love cuddling with Clarke, but because she didn't want everyone to see her doing it. She didn't want them to suspect that she and Clarke were anything more than friends when they weren't. She didn't want them to point out to Clarke that Lexa might have feelings for her.

When no one said anything about Clarke and Lexa's new positon for several minutes and Clarke took to rubbing Lexa's back, the brunette finally allowed herself to relax. She slumped into Clarke, and she tried to stay alert enough to follow the conversation, but she could already feel herself starting to doze off. That was, until Raven, who had left sometime during Lexa's quick snooze, came back with a bag full of something that Lexa had never seen before in her life. Her interest was immediately piqued, and she drew away from Clarke, sitting up so that she might get a better look at the strange objects.

Clarke raised an eyebrow at her friend. "Marshmallows, Raven? We only have two more bags, and you're about to waste one of them."

"But this is a celebration," Raven said with a smile. "We need to welcome Lexa properly. With some marshmallows."

Clarke looked like she was about to argue further, but Jasper and Monty were already chanting for these strange objects, so Clarke rolled her eyes and gave in. It seemed that Jasper and Monty were not a force to be reckoned with. Lexa couldn't help but remember how Clarke hadn't wanted to use the sedatives on Lexa either because she only had four. She noticed that Clarke was very conservative with supplies. It must be difficult to have all of these things, which Lexa had never even heard of, that had been in full supply on a daily basis, suddenly be limited because of the presumed destruction of the people on the Ark.

Lexa watched curiously as Raven opened the bag that held these marshmallows, tilting her head in slight confusion when she saw Raven grab a stick and spear the fluffy white object before holding it out over the fire. Jasper and Monty were quick to follow suit, and Octavia and Finn grabbed some as well, but Lexa didn't understand what it was that they were doing. Did these marshmallows make good torches or something? She thought the answer was probably no when she saw how they weren't catching fire, the members of the Skaikru holding them just out of reach of the flames.

Green eyes caught sight of longing blue as Clarke grabbed a marshmallow of her own, clearly eager to have one again, despite her previous opposition to Raven opening them.

"Come on, Lexa." Raven held the bag out to her. "You can roast one, too."

Lexa didn't take one, instead eyeing the bag warily. "What am I supposed to do with it?"

"It's food," Raven said with a chuckle. "You roast them over the fire until they turn brown, and then you eat them."

Lexa recoiled slightly from the extended bag. "Those do not look like any food items that I have ever seen. Are you sure they are edible?"

"Would we all be so excited to eat them if they weren't?" Raven playfully rolled her eyes. "Just try one. They're delicious."

Lexa gave in with a sigh, tentatively pulling one of the unappetizing-looking objects out of the bag and spearing it with her own stick. Then, she set it out over the flames. She tried her best to hold it steady, but her arms were already getting tired after just a few seconds of holding it up. While the others pulled their brown marshmallows back to eat, Lexa's marshmallow dipped into the flames, quickly catching on fire. Perhaps, these could be used as torches, after all.

"Clarke." Lexa turned to the other girl with wide eyes, wondering how to salvage it.

"It's okay, Lexa." The blonde chuckled. "Just put it out in the dirt. You can get another one."

Lexa stubbed out the small fire, letting go of her stick and ruined marshmallow. "Maybe, I should just watch you and your people do this."

"Your arms got tired, didn't they?" Clarke asked knowingly, and Lexa nodded reluctantly. "That's only because you're used to lying around all day. Soon enough, you'll be able to do everything on your own again, but for now, I'll help you hold your arms up."

Lexa felt frustration flare up inside her. She was the Commander. She was supposed to be invincible, and here she was, unable to do things that a child easily could. It made her want to cry in her anger, but she didn't even allow the tears to form. Commander Lexa would never cry for as long as she lived, even if she wasn't really called Commander anymore.

She realized that Clarke was waiting for permission to help her, and she figured that everyone was watching her, marveling at the things she could no longer do. She was surprised to find that no one was even paying any attention to her and Clarke at all. They were all too busy moaning in delight at the taste from their marshmallows. Lexa's growing curiosity as to what these treats might taste like won out, and she slowly nodded to Clarke as the blonde popped her own marshmallow into her mouth. The Sky Girl didn't miss Lexa's nod, easily reaching over to grab another marshmallow from the bag.

"Ready, Lex?" she asked as some of the other people went for seconds.

The brunette found herself blushing at the nickname, and she only nodded, fearful that her voice might fail her if she tried to speak. No one had ever called her Lex before, not even Costia. Her people had never given her a nickname, ever, but she found that she really liked being called by one now. Normally, the children were the only ones who used nicknames amongst Lexa's clan, but she wondered if that was because the children were the only ones who were free. Lexa and the other _natblidas_ who had grown up with her had never called each other by nicknames, but that was because they were never truly free like the children that Lexa had seen playing in the streets countless times before. She had spent all of this time wanting to be Lexa, but maybe Lexa was still tainted too much by the Commander. Now, she had the possibility to be Lex with Clarke, and that felt even more right. Clarke made her feel better than anyone ever had before, so it was only fitting that the blonde got to call her by a name that no one else used.

Once Clarke handed her a stick with a new marshmallow on it, Lexa held it out over the fire, just as she had done the previous time. This time, however, Clarke kept two reassuring hands under Lexa's arms, and the brunette was extremely grateful for the support. It was now much easier for her to keep her marshmallow above the flames. She liked that Clarke knew her well enough to know that Lexa would prefer help to someone doing the task for her.

When the marshmallow was brown enough, Clarke pulled it back from the fire and released Lexa's hand. The brunette slowly brought the foreign object up to her mouth, aware that everyone was watching her, but she found that she didn't even care. She was used to having all eyes on her, watching her every move, so it didn't bother her at all now.

The crunchy texture of the outside shell and the warm and gooey inside filled her mouth with a delicious sugary taste unlike anything that she had ever eaten before. Lexa's senses were overwhelmed by the new taste, and she closed her eyes in pure bliss as she chewed. She wondered where she might be able to get some more of these since the Skaikru were running out. Did they only grow in space? Lexa knew nothing about them, but she was now determined to find some because she couldn't accept the fact that she might only be able to taste these one more time. When green eyes finally fluttered open again, she was bombarded by six pairs of expectant eyes all trained on her.

"Well, did you like it?" Raven asked when Lexa didn't say anything right away.

"It was very good," Lexa said with a nod. "Exceptionally good, actually. I wonder where we might find them growing here on earth."

Octavia and Raven exchanged an amused glance at Lexa's words, and Jasper laughed aloud. Lexa only frowned in confusion, though. She hadn't thought she'd said anything funny, but the Sky People had apparently found humor in what she had said.

"Marshmallows don't grow anywhere, Lexa. Our people make them out of other things," Raven explained.

Still slightly puzzled, Lexa was surprised that the Sky People were able to make food items out of other things. Her people made clothing and weapons out of other materials, but they had always gotten their food from plants or animals. "I've never seen anyone create their own food. I would love to see you make marshmallows."

The people around Lexa cheered, already making plans to try and create their own marshmallows, and Octavia leaned over to whisper to Clarke in the surrounding din. "She's really cute. I'm glad she's staying."

Lexa immediately bristled at being called cute, but she tried to relax again when she noticed the wide smile on Octavia's face. Lexa could tell that it was a genuine one, and she figured that cute must have a different meaning amongst the Skaikru as well. To her own people, cute was a term that was used to describe young children, but it was mainly a derogatory term used to describe a warrior who thought they fought well when, in reality, they were mediocre fighters at best. She wondered what it meant here, but she pushed the thought aside, deciding to simply enjoy the moment instead. She would have plenty of time in the days to come to learn all about the ways of the Sky People.

"Would you like another one?" Raven held the bag out to Lexa.

"Yes, I would very much like another," Lexa replied easily.

She was proud of herself when she was able to roast the marshmallow all on her own this time.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I'm really sorry about this chapter being so late. I know that I've been updating every week, but I have been busy this week because I'm on spring break, so I didn't have as much time to work on my writing. This chapter is long, though, almost 9,000 words, and it's definitely an important one, so I hope that it was worth the wait! ;)

Clarke and Lexa entered the dropship alone, the blonde having known that it would be a nice place for her to help Lexa get back on her feet. Not many people came inside of it unless they were sick, or planning a war. There had been over a week of peace since Clarke had last seen Anya, and while she was surprised, she wasn't going to complain. Maybe, the Grounders had chosen a peaceful Commander, or maybe they were still holding out hope that their previous Commander would return. Clarke honestly had no idea how things worked with the Grounders, but she didn't really care, as long as they kept doing whatever it was they were doing and left Clarke's people alone.

After looking around for a moment, Clarke spotted the cane she had asked Raven to fashion for Lexa. Instead of grabbing it, though, she looked over Lexa, noticing how spent the other girl already seemed from the walk over to the dropship. She had taken Lexa's stitches out yesterday, and although the girl wanted to walk again right away, Clarke had made her wait another day just to be sure. Clarke wasn't even sure that she would be able to do this today.

"Lex, are you okay?" she asked. "Do you want to sit down?"

The Grounder gritted her teeth, looking like she wanted nothing more than to refuse, but she nodded anyway. Clarke helped to slowly lower her to the ground, and Lexa let out a sigh of relief. At least, the brunette could easily remain in a sitting position now. Clarke knew that walking was still going to be a whole lot harder.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Clarke asked gently. "You can spend another day resting, if you want to."

"No, I can't." Lexa shook her head. "The longer I wait to try this, the weaker I'll become."

Clarke had to admit that Lexa was right. This wasn't as much about Lexa being in pain as it was about her being so used to minimal movement throughout each day. She needed to work up the muscles in her legs again before she would be walking the way that she used to, and it was better for her to start working on it now. No matter how much Clarke wanted to tuck Lexa away and protect her from the world, she needed to accept that it was going to be difficult for Lexa to start walking again, and no amount of additional rest was going to change that.

After grabbing the cane from its position against the wall, Clarke helped Lexa to her feet and tried to hand it to her. Lexa didn't seem eager to take it, though, and the blonde gathered that this girl had never seen a cane before in her life. For a brief moment, she wondered what the Grounders might use instead before she realized that they more than likely used sticks. Lexa looked at the cane skeptically. "What is this?"

"We call it a cane," Clarke explained. "Raven made it for you. Soon, you'll be able to just lean on that for support so that you can make your way around by yourself, even though you still need a little help. The cane will provide that help for you."

Lexa nodded appreciatively, finally deciding that it would be alright for her to take it. She tested it out against the ground a few times, her lips curving up in a barely there smile when she saw how sturdy it was. "You said that I will be able to use this soon, but not yet. What am I expected to do with it now?"

"You can start using it right away, but you'll probably need more support than just that for a little while." Clarke didn't miss the way that Lexa scowled in distaste. "That doesn't mean you can't walk though. You can start out by using the cane with one hand and holding onto my arm with the other. That way, you can have support from both sides."

Lexa nodded in determination, and she immediately grabbed Clarke's arm, clearly eager to begin right away. She braced the cane against the ground, and blue eyes brightened when she saw Lexa taking a successful first few steps. Soon enough, though, Lexa lost her balance and slumped heavily into Clarke. Luckily, the blonde was prepared for something like this to happen, and she could steady Lexa and keep her upright before she fell to the ground. The brunette continued to take shaky steps, and Clarke walked slowly along beside her, murmuring words of encouragement when Lexa would stumble or scrunch her face up in frustration. They had almost made it to the other side of the small area when Lexa lost her balance again and toppled over to the other side. Clarke could admit that she should have been holding Lexa tighter, but she had let down her guard a little bit as Lexa continued to improve. She needed to remember that Lexa wasn't going to get better in two seconds. Clarke was a healer, not a magician. She winced when Lexa hit the ground before Clarke had the chance to catch her.

The warrior growled in frustration, the only thing bruised being her ego. A sorrowful look came over her eyes then, and Clarke could tell that she was put off by her inability to walk right away. It broke Clarke's heart. "I think I might have gotten too weak for this, Clarke."

Blue eyes pricked with the beginnings of tears, and Clarke wished more than anything that her mom was here or that she at least had some real physical therapy equipment. She wished that her people had never even wounded Lexa in the first place. However, Lexa had been coming to kill them, and it's not like Clarke had thought about the Grounders much differently than her people did at that point. She had seen them as savages, no different than the people on the Ark that she and the other delinquents were trying to escape from. But Lexa was different. She was more like Clarke's people than the blonde had ever imagined. She was beautiful and adorable, and she didn't deserve any of this. "I am so sorry, Lexa. I really wish my mom was here to help me with this."

The fire in Lexa's green eyes was immediately doused, replaced with something that looked suspiciously like caring. "No, Clarke, it's okay. You didn't do anything wrong, and you don't need your mom to help you with this. You have been doing perfectly with me since you saved me, and you don't need anyone to help you because you're really good at what you do. It's frustrating for me to have to basically relearn how to walk, but I'll be fine the more that I work at it, just like you said."

Clarke tried her best to swallow down her sorrow, chiding herself for not being stronger for Lexa. This had to be extremely hard for the other girl, and here Clarke was, making it all about her. She didn't need to make Lexa feel worse than she already did. Still, Clarke was glad that she got to hear what Lexa had to say about her not needing her mom. It made her feel proud of herself, not only because it had been Lexa who had said it, but because it was true. No matter how much she doubted herself, she was proving to be a really good healer. She wondered if her mom ever doubted herself this way when she was performing a risky surgery or something of the like. If she did, it never showed.

"You ready to try again?" Clarke extended her hands down to Lexa.

"Yes," Lexa said simply, looking much more confident and relaxed than she had when she had first fallen.

She accepted Clarke's help to pull herself to her feet. Clarke kept a firm arm around Lexa's waist this time, allowing the brunette to grip her around her own waist for support. She didn't want Lexa to get hurt if she kept falling. Clarke was surprised when they made it all the way around the dropship before the next fall happened. She knew that this activity couldn't be easy on her patient, and she was kind of amazed that Lexa was so determined and driven. Lexa was strong; Clarke was certain of that.

This time, Clarke was sure to tighten her grip around Lexa when the other girl lost her balance, and while she couldn't hold Lexa up completely, she was able to significantly slow her fall. Lexa landed softly on her butt, and she giggled when Clarke was practically pulled onto her lap. Clarke smiled like a fool at the sound, and she squealed in surprise when she felt Lexa pull her all the way into her lap. At the proximity of her face to Lexa's, Clarke couldn't help but let out some shy giggles of her own. It would be so easy for her to lean forward the short distance and connect their lips. She knew she couldn't do it though. She needed to help Lexa get back on her feet again, and she didn't want to make it awkward when Lexa still needed her.

The brunette smiled at the sound of Clarke's own laugh and lightly tapped her nose, something that she had no doubt picked up from the girl in her lap. "You are cute, Clarke."

The Sky Girl couldn't help the blush that spread across her cheeks at the sweet words. She knew that Lexa probably didn't mean anything by them, but she couldn't keep herself from wishing that she did. Before she really had a chance to think about it, she blurted out, "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that you are cute, Clarke," Lexa repeated easily, letting out another small giggle, "and I like having you around. There's no one else I'd rather have help me walk again. I also really like holding you."

Clarke's cheeks grew redder, and she leaned her head against Lexa's chest, sighing as slender fingers came up to tangle in her hair. She didn't want to be held by anyone else for the rest of her life because of how good she felt in Lexa's arms. She could probably listen to the sound of the other girl's quiet giggles for the rest of her life. She knew that there was a good chance that Lexa's words had been meant in a nonplatonic way. She also knew that this was a perfect moment for her to admit to Lexa that she liked her, to say something that would show Lexa how much she had begun to feel for her in their time together. Instead, she said something stupid. "I like spending time with you, too, and I love it when you hold me."

She cursed herself the minute the words were out of her mouth for missing her opportunity, but at least they got her more minutes of being wrapped up in Lexa's arms. The two girls sat in silence for a few minutes, and Clarke closed her eyes to enjoy the feeling of Lexa's fingers in her hair and the sound of the warrior's steady heartbeat. She was grateful that the heart beneath her was still beating because she knew that it had come frighteningly close to stopping. What if Lexa _had_ died in that explosion? Clarke didn't even want to think about a world without this incredible girl in it. What if, instead of missing the shot, Jasper had hit the target on his first try, blowing up the bridge and leaving the Grounders relatively unharmed on the other side? Clarke knew that this should've been the best possible scenario. She should wish that this had happened, wish that Lexa had never been hurt at all, but she couldn't bring herself to. She knew that it was selfish, but she was glad that she had gotten the chance to meet Lexa, no matter what the circumstances, and she didn't like the thought of living her entire life on the same planet as this beautiful girl without ever getting to know her. She couldn't even remember what her life had been like without Lexa in it, and she hadn't even known her for three weeks. She only knew that this was the first time she'd been anywhere close to happy since she had landed on the ground.

"You ready to try again?" Lexa murmured into Clarke's hair after an amount of time that was unknown to Clarke.

The blonde pulled back to look her companion in the eye with a wide smile. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?"

Lexa shrugged. "You seemed like you had something on your mind. Perhaps, something that wasn't entirely pleasant."

"I did, but you calmed me down. I feel much better now that you've been holding me."

Lexa only smiled at her, so Clarke climbed out of the warrior's lap and pulled the other girl back to her feet to begin the next couple of hours of walking around the dropship. Clarke was honestly surprised by how much progress Lexa was making. Whereas she had only been dragging her feet at the beginning of the day, she was moving them almost naturally by the end, and she had become much more balanced, able to stay on her feet without falling. Not surprisingly, Lexa was completely spent by the end of their session, and she sunk to the ground the minute Clarke urged her to call it quits. Clarke glanced worriedly at her patient, slightly afraid that the other girl wasn't going to be able to make it back to their tent. She didn't have anything against sleeping in the dropship. Her only problem with it was that anyone could walk in at any time to see the two of them all cuddled up together, and she didn't want rumors to get started around camp unless they were true. Clarke knew that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep tonight without the other girl's arms around her.

"Okay, I'm ready to go back to our tent," Lexa said after several long minutes had gone by.

Clarke tried to keep the smile off her face at the realization that Lexa had come to think of the tent as theirs instead of just Clarke's as well. It was nice to see the warrior coming to think of this place as home, and it was even nicer to see that Lexa most likely never wanted her own tent. Clarke never wanted the brunette to move out of the one they shared now either.

"You sure you can make it?" Clarke asked, a bit of teasing glint sneaking into her eyes.

Lexa simply rolled her green eyes in mock annoyance. "Of course I can make it, Clarke. I am a warrior."

* * *

Lexa sighed in relief when she finally returned to her and Clarke's tent after another grueling day of learning how to walk again. It was a particularly tiring and slightly painful experience, but Lexa didn't care. She was determined to get back on her feet. She needed to help out on hunting and border patrols to repay these people for allowing her to stay here and to earn her position among them. She might even be able to teach them how to fight. She was the best fighter amongst her people, and she could teach the Skaikru how to use every weapon with ease. Except guns, of course. She knew that the people in the mountain were long gone, but the old legend of what would happen if she picked up a gun still haunted her mind. Besides, she had no idea how to even go about using such a weapon, and one wrong move could kill her. All it would take was one bullet piercing her flesh. After her recent dance with death, she wanted to stay far away from these people's guns.

On a brighter note, Lexa knew that she was getting much better at walking. She hadn't fallen once today, although she still had had to take some breaks to rest, and her legs weren't feeling as wobbly. She still held onto Clarke's arm as well as the cane, but she knew she wasn't going to need to do that for much longer either. She had thought about letting go of Clarke's arm today to see how she would fare, but she decided to save that for tomorrow, wanting to keep up her record of not falling. Clarke was clearly impressed with Lexa's improvement, and the brunette was glad that she could make the other girl proud with her unrelenting drive to get strong again.

After a nice dinner that had Lexa feeling rejuvenated, Clarke told the brunette that she needed to go out on a border patrol. Lexa's face instantly fell, but she nodded in understanding all the same. Of course, she wasn't going to keep Clarke from doing her duties, but she really didn't like it when the blonde girl had to leave. She was still slightly frustrated with herself for not telling the other girl how she felt yesterday. Clarke had provided her with the perfect opportunity to elaborate on what she meant when she had called the Sky Girl cute, and she had blown it. There were times when she wanted nothing more than to be with the blonde and times when she was too afraid of having her heart broken again, and she knew that she really needed to decide what she wanted to do before it was too late. Lexa was not blind to the way Finn looked at Clarke, but Lexa couldn't decide whether she truly liked the blonde enough to open up her heart again. All she knew was that she didn't really like it when Clarke had to leave her.

"Do you want to go sit outside with Octavia and Raven while you wait for me to get back?" Clarke offered. "I'm sure they're still out there by the fire. My friends have made it their personal hangout at dinner. It really annoys the people who want to get warm."

Lexa's face immediately lit up at the prospect of not having to spend the next few hours by herself, and she nodded eagerly. Plus, she really did like Octavia and Raven. They had been the kindest to her since she'd arrived. The only con to going outside to sit with them was that Lexa would have to walk again. She found that she didn't really care, though, since she was getting the chance to spend time with her new friends.

Clarke helped Lexa to her feet and handed her cane to her before they set off to the fire at a comfortable pace. Lexa liked walking out in the fresh air rather than in the confinement of the dropship, but she knew why Clarke had chosen that as their starting point. She had known that Lexa wouldn't want anyone else to see her falling and struggling to walk. Now that Lexa was getting better, though, she wondered if they might be able to take their walks outside.

"Hey, guys," Raven greeted cheerfully as Lexa sank down on the log beside her, not nearly as out of breath as she had thought she might be. "What's up?"

Lexa looked up at the sky with a puzzled frown before realizing that this phrase must mean something different to the Sky People. Surely, Raven knew that the sky was in the upwards direction.

Raven caught Lexa staring up at the sky and chuckled. "It's just an expression. It means 'what's happening?' or maybe 'why are you out here when I know that you've already eaten?'"

"I have to go out on border patrol." Clarke scrunched her nose up in distaste as she laid Lexa's cane against the log beside her, facing away from the fire. "Will you make sure to take care of Lexa while I'm gone? Like, keep her company for a while, and if she wants to go back to the tent, will you help her walk there?"

"Sure," Raven said happily. "Lexa's in great hands with us."

"Okay, she walks with her cane in one hand, and with the other hand, she needs to grip your arm, so make sure to hold it out nice and sturdy for her," Clarke instructed, "and she'll probably need help getting up."

Raven just blinked at her. "I'm not blind, Clarke. I watched you two walk over here. Besides, Lexa can talk, you know. She could've easily told me everything that you just said if it was necessary. You're acting like you're leaving your child at school for the first time."

"I feel like it, too." Clarke sighed, running a hand through her blond hair.

Lexa bristled at that statement, not liking the way that she was being referred to as a child, like she couldn't take care of herself. She was perfectly capable of spending a few hours with Octavia and Raven, especially now that she could pretty much walk on her own. She knew that Clarke was only acting this way because she cared about Lexa, but the brunette found it unnecessary and a little annoying.

"Just get your ass out there." Raven made a shooing motion with her hand. "Lexa will have a great time with us. Right, O?"

Octavia nodded her head. "We're much better company than you are anyway, Clarke."

Clarke scoffed at the other girl, and Lexa worried that she had been upset by Octavia's statement until she stuck out her tongue. Octavia was happy to reciprocate it, and then Clarke was walking off in the direction of the gate, shaking her head. Lexa might not have wanted her to leave only moments ago, but she was slightly glad that the other girl was gone now. She wasn't a fan of being fussed over, and she couldn't deny that the blonde girl was embarrassing her in front of these people that she was coming to think of as her friends as well.

Raven seemed to easily pick up on Lexa's emotions. "Glad to have her out of your hair?"

"It is not that I do not like, Clarke," Lexa answered. "I love spending time with her. I just do not enjoy being treated as if I am a child. I can take care of myself."

"We know," Octavia said, a teasing glint developing in her eyes. "You are a warrior, after all."

Lexa wondered if maybe she shouldn't have used that defense to Clarke every time the blonde questioned her ability to do something. Clearly, the Sky Girl had told her friends, and for whatever reason, Octavia found it humorous. Lexa thought about asking, but she decided to let it slide in favor of getting to know Clarke's friends better. She hoped they would become her friends as well. "So, what do you two contribute to your people?"

"I'm a mechanic," Raven answered proudly.

Lexa assumed that this was a great accomplishment, but she had never heard the term before in her life. Her people didn't have mechanics, so she wondered how this could be such a great thing if not everyone needed them. Maybe her people had a different term for the position. She cocked her head to the side as she asked, "What is that?"

"I work on machines and stuff. I fix what needs to be fixed and build what needs to be built. I make ammo for my people, and I was the one who built the bomb that blew up the bridge."

Lexa appreciated the part about the ammo. She could see now why the Sky People needed mechanics while hers did not. However, she was still sort of confused about the first part of Raven's statement. "What are machines?"

"Technology," Raven tried, but Lexa shrugged at the other unfamiliar term. Raven thought for a moment before pulling something out of her jacket pocket and pointing to it. "This is a machine, a sort of radio. We call it a walkie talkie, and it's used to transmit our voices to people who aren't in the same area as us. For example, if Octavia took hers with her, I could talk to her with mine, no matter where she was."

Lexa's eyes widened in amazement and immense curiosity. She had never even heard of such a thing before, and she wondered, not for the first time, how the Sky People were able to do these things that seemed like magic to her. Octavia clearly caught onto Lexa's look because she was flipping out her own walkie talkie seconds later and gesturing in the direction of the food tent. "I'll go in there with mine, and you can use Raven's to talk to me, Lexa."

The warrior nodded eagerly, and Octavia smiled, making her way to the food tent. Once Octavia had disappeared inside, Lexa stared intently at Raven's device, only half expecting this magic act to work. It couldn't actually be possible, could it? Yet, after a few seconds, a crackling sound began to come through the device, and it was followed by a voice. "Hey, Lexa. It's Octavia. Can you hear me?"

Lexa let out a laugh of wonderment, taking the device from Raven so that she could respond. "How do I answer?"

"Just hold the button on the side while you're speaking," Raven explained, pointing to the button she was referring to.

Lexa did as she was told. "Yes, I can hear you. How is this even possible?"

She could hear Octavia laugh from the other end. "I'm not sure. That would be more of a Raven question, although you probably wouldn't understand her. No one can really follow the conversation when she starts speaking about tech stuff. Walkie talkies are pretty cool, though, when you think about it."

"It's amazing," Lexa said. She was about to let go of the button when she had a sudden thought. "Do you think you could bring me more food while you're in there?"

"I think I can snag a bit more meat for all of us," Octavia responded, and Lexa could somehow tell that the other girl was smirking. It pleased her to know that she was already getting used to being around these new people.

"Snag?" Lexa turned to Raven, unable to help herself from questioning this term being used in such an unfamiliar way.

"It's similar to grab, but it implies that she'll do it while no one is looking," Raven explained easily. "Soon, we'll have you speaking like us. I promise."

Lexa didn't know about that, but she didn't respond, instead waiting eagerly for her meat, as she was still feeling hungry, probably from all the walking she had done that day. Her eyes brightened when she saw the meat in Octavia's hands as the other girl exited the tent, and she grabbed her portion almost as fast as Raven did. The three of them munched on the meat while casually talking to one another, and Lexa found herself enjoying how relaxed these people were. If someone had asked for extra food with her people, they would more than likely be denied, and if they had taken it without permission, like Octavia just had, they would have been punished. Especially if they were feeding it to an outsider. No one even looked in Octavia's direction, though, and Lexa knew that taking extra food was not a big deal to these people. It almost seemed like nothing really was a big deal with these strange people from the sky.

Once Lexa's stomach felt uncomfortably full, she found herself in a bit of a food coma, and she wanted nothing more than to lie down. She slowly rubbed her belly to soothe it, contemplating on whether or not the others would want to hang out in Clarke's tent with her. She figured that they would be fine with it, and she was just about to ask when there was a commotion by the gate, catching her attention as well as the attention of many others.

A boy ran through the newly open gate, panting heavily and unable to form coherent sentences. Lexa couldn't understand a single word that he was saying from where she sat, but his wide eyes and gasping breaths made her think that he was more than likely being chased by something. She wondered for a moment if that something might have been her people, but she instantly knew that it was not when a black panther bounded through the gate. The boy let out a high-pitched shriek of fright and dove into the nearest tent. The big cat looked around for a moment, seemingly overcome by the amount of people in the camp and unsure of what to do. The Sky People seemed just as shocked, staring at the panther with wide eyes, and Lexa rolled her eyes at the fact that no one had even reached for their gun yet. These people might have been carefree, but it seemed as if they didn't even know how to defend themselves at all. Lexa thought that she would probably need to help them with that.

Yellow eyes seemed to zero in on the meat that Octavia still held in her hand, as she was the last of the small group to finish eating, and before anyone could even think, it was bounding towards her. She backed up in fright, but Lexa knew that the other girl wouldn't be able to outrun the animal. She hurriedly pushed herself to her feet with the help of her cane, grabbing her dagger from the cuff on her thigh. She was extremely grateful that she had decided to keep that with her at all times, even though she had discarded her old clothes.

As soon as the panther leapt, Lexa sent her dagger twirling through the air. Even though the force of the throw sent her falling hard onto her ass, she smiled in satisfaction when the weapon sank into the large cat's heart. The panther fell onto Octavia, knocking her to the ground, but other than that, it did no harm. It quickly rolled off of her in favor of writhing on the ground for a few seconds before dying. Lexa couldn't help but be proud of herself, and she didn't miss it when Octavia sent her a look full of gratitude.

"Are you okay, O?" Raven was the first to break the shocked silence that had settled over the camp the minute that the panther jumped through the gate.

"Fine." Octavia pushed to her feet, brushing the dirt off of her clothes, clearly not injured in any way.

People began to cheer at the fact that Octavia had not been injured, and Lexa thought that they might have also been cheering for her. Many of them gave her nods of appreciation and thanked her. Still, many more crowded around them all, trying to get a closer look at the panther.

"Are you okay, Lexa?" Raven asked when she noticed that Lexa hadn't moved from where she had fallen.

"Yes," Lexa said, although her entire body ached from the fall. However, she knew that she hadn't been seriously injured. "I think I need help getting up though."

Raven nodded and pulled Lexa up from the ground. The warrior immediately sat back on the log that she had previously occupied, knowing that Clarke would be proud of her, not only for accepting help from Raven but for asking for it. A few days ago, she knew that she would've wished it didn't matter so much to her what Clarke might think. Now, though, she didn't care. Having feelings for Clarke wasn't a weakness, and now, she only wished that it wasn't so hard to tell the blonde about them.

Suddenly, there was the sound of someone shouting, and the crowds began to part around the person who was emitting the sound. It only took Lexa a moment to recognize that someone as Bellamy, pushing his way through the throng of people so that he might be able to get to his sister. He immediately wrapped his arms around her when he saw her, pulling back to look her over afterwards. "O, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Bell." Octavia shook him off, but it was impossible to miss the slight shock that was still present in her hazel eyes. "The cat was pretty much dead when it fell on me. Lexa saved me."

Bellamy looked up at Lexa then with a mixture of amazement and surprise. He clearly hadn't been expecting her to help out one of the Sky People, as it was no secret that he still didn't trust her. She could see the warring thoughts in his head even now. He wanted to hate her, but he also knew that she could've just sat by, like the rest of his people, and watched his sister die. In the end, his relief at his sister's safety won out, and he nodded gratefully to Lexa. She easily nodded back, wanting him to see that she was serious about being a member of Skaikru. There was no reason for him not to trust her. She didn't know what that nod meant for their relationship, but she did know that he might not be looking so hard for reasons to kill her in the future. He might just let her live in peace.

* * *

After taking a short nap in her tent, Lexa awoke to see that Clarke still hadn't returned. She wondered if she should be worried that the blonde was taking so long, but she knew from experience that border patrols could be lengthy processes. It probably took even longer if you were out with people you knew, and come to think of it, Lexa hadn't seen Monty at all during her time at the fire. Clarke was probably taking her time to catch up with her friend. An idea suddenly popped into Lexa's head as she stared above her, and she found that she wasn't so content to lie there and wait anymore. She wanted to go somewhere all on her own.

Using her cane to help her, she slowly pulled herself up from the ground and smiled when she remained on her feet. Her balance was a little shaky as she took her first few steps forward, so she stuck her cane out in front of her, holding it with both hands to keep herself upright. It was a slow and awkward process, but she wasn't in any sort of pain, so she kept on going. She was pleased when the guard at the gate didn't even question her before opening up the doors, although he did look a little skeptical. It seemed that the people around the camp might finally be starting to trust her, now that they had seen her save Octavia's life.

"You're coming back, right?" the guard called after Lexa as she made her way out of the camp.

Lexa nodded. "Of course I am. When Clarke comes back, let her know that I have gone out, and she will know where to find me. Tell her I'll be waiting for her."

The guard nodded to her before closing the gates behind her, and she began her trek through the woods, hoping that she would not accidentally run into Clarke before she reached her destination. The walk seemed long, and it was hard for her to make it all by herself, but Lexa was nothing if not determined, and she was thankfully becoming much stronger again, too. She was gasping for breath by the time that she reached the clearing with the glowing flowers, but she had made it all on her own, and that was all that really mattered to her. She slumped against the tree that she and Clarke had slept against two weeks ago, resting her cane beside her. She wiped away the sheen of sweat that had settled on her brow, feeling pretty spent now that she was finally sitting. The walk had taken a lot out of her, but she was just glad that every step didn't send a blinding pain through her stomach anymore, as it had the last time.

As the minutes stretched on, Lexa's body practically begged her for sleep, her limbs feeling heavy with exhaustion and her eyelids beginning to droop. However, she forced them to stay open. She wanted to be awake when Clarke arrived. If the blonde actually did. It was silly to think that Clarke wouldn't know where Lexa had gone. This was really the only place that it could be. Lexa couldn't stop herself from having a short moment of worry though. If Clarke didn't come for her, she would most likely have to spend the rest of the night there or at least a few more hours. As much as she hated to admit it, she didn't think that she would be able to pull herself up from the ground anytime soon. So, she simply sat there, waiting for the girl that she spent most of her time with nowadays to show up. This was the place where she had first started to truly trust Clarke, and she hoped that this place meant as much to the blonde as it had come to mean to Lexa.

She realized that she must have dozed off a bit, despite her best efforts, when her eyes fluttered open to the sound of a slightly worried voice calling her name. Clarke. Lexa would recognize that voice anywhere, and, really, who else would know to look for her here? The blonde couldn't be far away, but Lexa knew that the other girl couldn't see her because the tree that she was leaning against was hiding her from view. This was more than likely the reason for the worry that she heard in Clarke's voice. Lexa wished that she could run out from behind the tree and envelope Clarke in a hug or something of the sort, but she didn't want to risk hurting herself since she had been doing so well in the last couple of days. She settled instead for simply announcing her presence. "I am here, Clarke."

The blonde appeared in front of her in record time, and Lexa couldn't help a small smile from appearing on her face at the sight of the Sky Girl. Clarke smiled as well, but she still looked a little bit uneasy. "I can't believe you walked all the way out here by yourself. Are you okay?"

Lexa rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, I'm okay, Clarke. Why wouldn't I be? Did you expect me to be attacked on my way here?"

The blonde let out a small chuckle. "No. It's just that this was a really long walk for you, and I'm proud of you for doing it all by yourself."

"There is no need to be proud, Clarke. You know I'm a warrior, right?" The brunette shot her a wink, something that she had seen Raven do quite a few times. She hoped she had done it right. The faint blush that spread across Clarke's cheeks in response told her that she had.

"Yes, Lexa, you're a warrior," Clarke said with a fond smile. "Why did you make it a point to trek all the way out here without me?"

"I wanted to surprise you. I have not forgotten the first time we came here, and I wanted to come here again."

"I guess it is like our special place, huh? What were you gonna do if I didn't show?" Clarke asked with a teasing smirk.

"I knew that you would know exactly where to go if I left that message with the guard," Lexa replied easily.

"It's good to see that you trust me." Clarke smiled warmly, extending her hands down to the brunette. "Do you want help getting up?"

"Yes, please." Lexa clasped Clarke's hands in hers.

She pulled herself to her feet with a loud grunt, glad for Clarke's support. She reached back for her cane, turning her head back to look behind her when she couldn't find it with her hand. She realized that it had fallen to the ground in the time that Lexa had spent waiting for Clarke. She must have knocked it over in her sleep or something. She was just about to try her best to bend down and grab it when Clarke squeezed her hands, shaking her head when green eyes rose back up to meet hers. She carefully placed Lexa's hands on her waist instead. "You can hold onto me to keep yourself steady."

Lexa blushed at the feel of Clarke's waist beneath her fingers, and she hoped that Clarke wouldn't notice the redness of her face in the darkness. She knew that she had probably touched Clarke's waist countless times before when they had cuddled, but this just felt more intimate somehow. They had established right off the bat that their cuddling didn't mean anything. They each just wanted someone to hold during the night. It truly had started out like that, but it wasn't just about holding someone anymore for Lexa. She wanted that someone to be Clarke and only Clarke. She wondered if Clarke allowing Lexa to hold her waist meant that the cuddling might have started to mean more to the blonde as well. Lexa wondered if she was ready for that. "Are you sure that you want me touching your waist?"

"Lexa, I've had my hands all over your waist when I've been helping you walk these past few days. I thought I'd return the favor." Clarke winked with a cheeky grin, and Lexa's blush deepened.

"Then, I suppose I shall return the favor as well." Lexa was surprised at how quickly she regained her composure, shooting Clarke a cheeky grin and wink of her own.

The blonde was confused for a moment, but Lexa watched that confusion disappear when she grabbed a flower from where it was growing beside her and slid it into Clarke's hair. The blonde smiled adorably, and Lexa lost her shyness, wrapping one arm fully around Clarke's waist as she used the other to pull flowers from the plant beside her and weave them into Clarke's hair. The blonde wrapped her arms around Lexa as well, and the brunette wished that the feel of the other girl pressed up against her wasn't having such a great effect on her. They were never this close together unless they were cuddling, and Lexa couldn't help but hope that this meant something more. Lexa pulled back slightly, albeit reluctantly, when she had finally finished constructing Clarke's glowing crown.

"Now, you can be queen." Lexa remembered the term that Clarke had used when the blonde had given Lexa her crown. Lexa still had a distaste for the word because the Ice Queen was her biggest rival, but she knew that the term had to mean something else to Clarke and her people. There was no way they could have possibly known about the Ice Nation and their terms before they came down here anyway.

Clarke stuck her bottom lip out in a pout, and Lexa was instantly confused. Did Clarke not like it? She was about to ask when the blonde explained herself. "I don't want to be queen without you. Can I give you a flower crown, too?"

Lexa pulled a face. She knew that Clarke had given her a flower crown before, but the blonde had done it without permission, and Lexa hadn't wanted to seem rude by arguing. Lexa thought that flower crowns were childish, though, and she didn't think that she should willingly accept one. She noticed Clarke's bright smile, the happiness in her eyes as she wore her own flower crown. Clarke was strong, practically the leader of her people, and she didn't think anything of wearing a crown of flowers atop her head. Maybe it was the Commander who thought that flower crowns were childish. But what did _Lexa_ think? Lexa thought that Clarke looked very beautiful in her own crown of flowers. Lexa thought that she liked flowers, especially these, and that this had become her and Clarke's special place, where the outside world could not touch them. Lexa thought that she would very much like a flower crown.

She nodded in answer to Clarke's question, and a tiny smile played out on her lips as the other girl moved forward again to begin weaving flowers into the warrior's long brown hair. Lexa reveled in the feeling. She loved when Clarke played with her hair, and she loved the way in which Clarke's face was so close to her own. It would be so easy for her to lean forward and grab Clarke's lips with her own, get the taste of the Sky Girl that she had been desiring for quite some time now. She couldn't bring herself to do it though. She wasn't even sure if Clarke felt the same way, but even if she did, Lexa wanted Clarke to be able to make the move in her own time. She didn't want to pressure the blonde into doing anything before she was ready. Lexa let out a laugh once her crown was complete.

Clarke pulled back a bit in confusion. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing is funny, Clarke," Lexa said happily. "I just feel so carefree right now, so young. I would've never been able to do something like this with my people."

"It's a good thing you're not going back to them then. You don't have to worry about what they would think anymore, Lexa. You're one of us now, and they can't tell you what you can and can't do anymore."

Lexa smiled brightly at the other girl's gentle tone and true words, and she wanted nothing more than to kiss the beautiful girl in front of her. She felt like her hormones were on overdrive tonight, and she didn't know whether it was just the nighttime, the excitement of what had happened with the panther earlier, or how lovely Clarke looked in the blue glow. Maybe, it was the magic of their little clearing, the truly free feeling of being separated from every other human being on the planet. Lexa couldn't decide why she wanted to kiss Clarke so much more today than on any other day. All she knew was that she did. She only wished she had the courage to go through with it.

"What is a queen to your people?" Lexa asked instead, trying to divert her attention from Clarke's beauty. "To me, it means a female ruler of the Ice Nation, but I know that your people didn't even know of the Ice Nation's existence before coming down here. So what is it that you mean when you say that we are queens because of our flower crowns?"

Clarke shrugged. "We don't actually have queens, like your people do. They're just in old stories. Children's stories, mostly. The king and queen are the rulers of the land, and they wear crowns on their heads and live in castles. Maybe I could tell you a story about a queen one time, if I can remember any. I don't know if they actually had queens like that before the apocalypse or if they were just made up, but I've always wondered. It's strange to read old stories from before we went up into space because it's hard to tell what's real and what's not. I mean, any of it could've been real, and the only reason that certain things don't exist anymore is because they were wiped out in the apocalypse, you know? There could have been kings and queens. There could have been dogs. There could have been fairies, too. Who knows?"

Lexa was not sure what a dog or a fairy was, but she was still hung up on Clarke's explanation of a queen. "I suppose we'll never know, Clarke, but why must it be a king and a queen who rule the land? Why not two kings or two queens?"

"I guess the world didn't work that way back then," Clarke said with a shrug, and Lexa huffed. These stories that Clarke spoke of didn't seem very real if they thought that people could only like those of the opposite sex in a romantic manner. Her slight scowl only deepened when Clarke spoke in a teasing tone. "Are you afraid you won't find your king, Lexa?"

"I do not need anyone to rule beside me," Lexa said immediately. "I would be perfectly capable of ruling on my own."

"Of course," Clarke said with a chuckle. "You're an almighty warrior. How could I forget?"

"If I had to choose someone to rule with me, though, I would not want it to be a king. I think that I should like to have a queen beside me."

The words were out before Lexa could even think them through, and she didn't miss the way that Clarke's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She hoped that she hadn't said something wrong. Clarke hadn't acted as if her people were like those mythical people in her stories who were only attracted to the opposite gender. Therefore, it shouldn't come as such a surprise that Lexa liked girls. She wondered if Clarke was only surprised because it meant that Lexa might like her. The brunette did, and she suddenly wanted for Clarke to know it. Lexa wasn't going to steal a kiss or touch Clarke without her permission, but there was nothing wrong with letting the blonde know of her feelings. It was the only way that she was going to gain the knowledge that she so desperately sought: whether or not Clarke returned the feelings that Lexa was developing. "I would like it the most if you would be my queen."

Blue eyes widened, and Lexa simply waited. She wasn't going to retract her statement or play it off like she hadn't meant it in the way that the blonde had thought. She let it hang out in the open, knowing that she needed a confirmation that Clarke was in this as deep as she was before she let her feelings get out of hand. The Commander might have thought that love was weakness, but Lexa no longer bore that title, and she knew that it probably wouldn't be long before her people gave it to someone else. As for Lexa, it had been way too long since she had last opened her heart to somebody, and now that she was finally ready to do it again, now that she was finally starting to remember what having these feelings was like, she wasn't going to let this opportunity slide. It was the perfect time to tell Clarke, when they were nobody but Clarke and Lexa, and the brunette could only hope that Clarke liked Lexa as much as Lexa liked Clarke.

Clarke didn't respond to Lexa's statement verbally. After what felt like a decade, she crashed her lips to Lexa's, and the brunette didn't even have to think twice as she returned the kiss. She didn't bother with keeping it chaste or short, seeing as it was their first kiss. It felt like she had been waiting too damn long for this. She opened her mouth far too soon, tongue poking at Clarke's lips, and it seemed as if the blonde didn't even have to think about it before granting her access, allowing their tongues to twirl around each other as Lexa gripped tightly to Clarke's waist, pulling her impossibly closer. It seemed to Lexa as if Clarke might have been pining for her as long as she had been pining for the blonde, and that fact filled her with even more confidence.

It had been far too long since Lexa had last kissed anyone, and she had to admit that she had almost forgotten what it felt like. However, she remembered enough about it to know that it had never felt quite this good. Being with Clarke felt like finally being safe. Finally being free. Finally being Lexa.

She never wanted to be anyone else again.

When Clarke finally pulled away, it was like she had been reading Lexa's mind. "Forget being queens. I just want to be Clarke and Lexa."

"I have never wanted anything more," Lexa whispered against the other girl's lips. "I really like you, Clarke."

"I really like you, too, Lexa," Clarke said immediately, not even having to think about it, as if she had been waiting to say it for far too long.

When Lexa pressed her lips back to Clarke's, her smile wider than she had ever remembered it being, she felt as if all of her burdens flew away, as if she was finally getting the chance to be completely reborn, completely happy again. A small voice somewhere deep inside her warned her about opening her heart again, reminding her of what had happened last time. Lexa ignored it, though, because it was too late.

She knew that Clarke had already seen right into her soul.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good afternoon, Clexakru! I'm sorry that I've been taking longer than a week for each update lately, but that's probably how it's going to be for the rest of this month. I won't forget about the story, of course. I just wanted to give you guys the heads up that updates will be coming out slower for the time being because I am in the last month the semester, and all of my final projects and papers are due in the next couple of weeks. Thank you all for continuing to read this story, and I hope that you will enjoy the new chapter!

After a couple of days had passed, Lexa was a pro at walking with her cane. It wasn't taxing at all for her, and she knew that it would only be a matter of time before she didn't even need the support that the cane provided any longer. While she couldn't wait for that day to come, she was glad that she could at least go out on patrol now. For her first border patrol, she went out with Jasper and Monty, and she had a feeling that Clarke had something to do with the two boys that she was already familiar with being chosen as her companions. The three of them got along well, and it was easy for them to make small talk with each other, but the patrol was rather uneventful. They were just walking around their supposed territory, but there was no one else in sight. These patrols seemed unnecessary to Lexa. "Why do you patrol your borders so often?"

"To make sure that the Grounders stay on their side of them," Jasper answered easily.

"I haven't seen a single 'Grounder' since we got out here. Besides, this is their land," Lexa pointed out.

Jasper nodded in appreciation at something that Lexa could not even begin to guess at before he began speaking again. "Yes, but we need some land as well, so we have claimed this small section of land as our own. We don't want to move away from the Grounders because we want to make peace with them. There's really no reason to keep fighting with each other when we're not that different. As long as the Grounders are okay with making peace, that's what we want as well. Or most of us do anyway. The only reason we keep patrolling the borders is because we haven't heard from the Grounders since Anya came here to visit. We don't want them to march on our camp unexpectedly and wipe us all out."

Lexa nodded. "That is understandable, especially after what happened at the bridge. I don't know if my former people will want peace with you after everything that has transpired between us, but I am sure that you are worthy of it, and I wish my people would see that."

A nagging voice in Lexa's head told her that they might agree to have peace with the Sky People if she went back and reclaimed her old position. Then again, such a thing might also end up with her dead. She knew that Titus would fight her every step of the way. She also knew that she never wanted to see him again. She looked around self-consciously and wondered what might happen if they did run into some of her former people on this patrol. She calmed a little when she realized that most of her people had not seen her up close and, therefore, probably wouldn't recognize her with her hair unbraided and her face clean of war paint. Not to mention, she was wearing Skaikru clothes. She probably looked exactly like one of them now, just like she wanted.

"I'm really glad you're one of us now," Jasper said happily. "The way that you saved Octavia was really cool. Do you think you can teach all of us to be badasses like you?"

Lexa smiled at the Sky People's term for warriors. She didn't know exactly what it meant, but she had gathered enough to know that it meant strong and good at fighting. "I'm sure I'll have time to teach you some 'badass' skills, as you say."

"Oh, I can't wait for that," Jasper said, and Lexa had to fight the urge to laugh at the way that he wiggled excitedly.

A comfortable silence enveloped the space surrounding the three of them, but Lexa wasn't surprised when Jasper spoke again shortly after. The talkative boy couldn't stand to stay silent for too long. What surprised her was the question that came out of his mouth. "So, what's going on between you and Clarke?"

"What do you mean?" Lexa asked, trying her best to sound innocent.

"I've heard from multiple people that they saw the two of you kissing yesterday while you were walking around the camp. I mean, if one person said it, I might be a little skeptical, but I heard it from several, and my friend Harper was one of them. So, are you and Clarke, like, together?"

Lexa blushed a little at the question. While she and Clarke hadn't publicly announced their relationship or anything, they hadn't really tried to keep it a secret either. Lexa would've never let her people see such a thing after what happened with Costia, but here, she wasn't the Commander. She had no real rivals, so no one was going to torture Clarke and cut off her head just for being close to Lexa. Here, she wanted to exercise her chance to be with whoever she wanted and not have to worry about what might happen to them for being associated with her. It had been strange at first to kiss in broad daylight where anyone might see them, but after a few seconds, it felt almost natural. It felt good.

"Yes." She gave a simple answer to Jasper's question. She wasn't really sure if she was comfortable giving the details about whatever was going on between her and Clarke, but she was sure that she didn't want to hide it.

"Is that why you're staying here?" Monty spoke up for the first time in several minutes. She knew that his lack of speaking didn't result from a dislike of her though. It was more due to the fact that he couldn't get a word in when Jasper was always running his mouth.

"No," Lexa answered. "I mean, Clarke is definitely part of the reason I want to stay here, but I wouldn't have chosen to become one of your people just because of Clarke. I like the way you do things, the way you allow your people the freedom to do whatever they wish as long as they are contributing to your people and staying out of trouble. I was forced into my position since birth, and I was tired of giving my entire life for my people."

"What was your position?" Monty asked curiously. "How did you give your entire life for them?"

"I was one of the Commander's higher-ups." The lie flowed easily off of Lexa's tongue, but the part that followed was anything but a lie. "It was a position of leadership, and it was a tough one. I had to give up living my own life freely in order to make sure that my people would have the opportunity to live theirs safely. I also had to make decisions I thought they would agree with or else I knew they would rebel against me and the Commander and most likely kill us. I'm tired of having to pour my heart and soul into doing the right thing for my people without having a moment to be myself. I just want to remember who I am and make the choices that I would make. I just want to be a girl, like I should be."

"So, you're running away from your responsibilities, then?" Jasper asked. "You're abandoning your people?"

"I'm not abandoning them." Lexa was instantly on the defensive. "If I went back to them in the condition that I was in after the explosion, they would've killed me on the spot. They don't take too kindly to weakness."

"Yes, but that was weeks ago," Monty pointed out. "You're so close to being able to walk again without that cane. What's stopping you from going back now?"

"Me," Lexa answered easily. "I don't want to go back to them, and I know it looks like I'm running away from my responsibilities, but I'm not. It would be one thing if I had chosen my position, but I didn't. It was forced upon me. Besides, anyone can do it. People die all the time in my culture, and they've probably already replaced me."

"I guess so," Jasper said, although he didn't sound so sure. "The Commander's probably strong enough to lead on his own anyway, but he probably has other advisors and higher-ups to help him out, too."

Lexa only grunted in acknowledgement, already too caught up in her own head to even be annoyed that Jasper had thought the Commander had to be male. Was she really running away from her duties as Commander? Was that what this was really about? She supposed that she was still responsible for her people, no matter what. It didn't matter that she hadn't chosen her position. Still, she didn't feel like the Commander anymore. There was no way that the Commander would ever need a cane to walk. She would be strong enough to support herself. The Commander wouldn't make friends so easily with these people she didn't know. She would be way too cautious and wait a few weeks at least to be sure that they could be trusted before she opened herself up to them. The Commander would never allow herself to get in a relationship again either, after how poorly her last one had ended. Especially not with a Sky Girl. Lexa was finally getting the chance to be herself, and it felt amazing.

Clarke had told her to just relax and live by the ways of the Skaikru countless times before, and Lexa needed to listen to her. The blonde was always right, after all. Clarke had been right when she had told Lexa that she needed to take the time to rest in order to heal. It might have been torture for Lexa to lie in her bed all day, but she was up and walking again now, something that she wasn't sure that she believed would ever happen again when she was in her weak state. Even though it was weird not falling back into her rigorous training schedule now, she was glad that she was finally getting a chance to give back a little bit to the people who had allowed her to become one of their own. Clarke was also right about love not being weakness. Getting the chance to be with Clarke romantically over the last couple of days made Lexa happier than she ever remembered being before in her life. She was allowed to have feelings for Clarke, if she wanted to, and that was nice.

God, she wanted to.

Besides, she knew that being the Commander had been taking a toll on her. She hadn't even remembered what it felt like to be herself until she met these strange people, and now she couldn't help but want to cling to this missing self that she had gotten back. She wanted to start some type of light training to gain back some of the muscles that she had lost in the time she had spent recovering. She had originally wanted to get back into her rigorous training schedule, but Clarke had pointed out that she wouldn't need all of her excessive muscles if she was staying with the Skaikru. She figured that the blonde was probably right about that, too. She had been worried about the fact that she was starting to gain a bit of weight, but when she had mentioned to Clarke that she looked fat yesterday, the blonde assured her that she looked healthy. Lexa wondered if maybe she hadn't been eating properly with her people. She supposed that there were many times when eating had seemed trivial in comparison to the things she needed to do as Commander. Apparently, it had started to show on her body.

She shook the thoughts out of her head then, determined not to dwell on the subject any longer. She wanted to stay here, and that was enough reason for her to do exactly that. She wanted to be healthy and free and _happy_. She couldn't remember the last time that she had actually been happy with her own people.

"You should join us tonight after dinner." Monty broke the silence that Lexa hadn't even realized had fallen over the small group again. "I'm making my special moonshine."

"Moonshine?" Lexa cocked her head to the side in question of the unfamiliar term.

"It's a form of alcohol, but this is so much stronger than anything I've ever had before," Jasper said with a grin. "It'll be sure to get you hammered really quickly."

Lexa wasn't sure about the meaning of the last phrase he had used, but she could take a pretty good guess. Her people were no stranger to the effects of alcohol, but she had always made a point to steer clear of it. She had never really understood the appeal.

"I have never allowed myself to lose control of my wits before," she said in answer. "I do not wish to start tonight."

"Come on, Lexa," Jasper argued with a childish pout. "You're one of us now. You don't have to stay alert anymore to take care of your people, and no one here is going to hurt you. Take a chance and live a little."

Lexa found herself nodding along before she could even fully process what exactly she was agreeing to. All her rational thoughts and preset ways disappeared the minute that she heard the last part of Jasper's argument. That was exactly what she wanted. To live a little.

* * *

When Lexa returned to camp, it didn't take her long to spot Clarke talking to Raven while the brunette worked on some sort of device that Lexa now knew was some kind of machine. The blonde smiled when she caught sight of Lexa, and the warrior instantly forgot about her warring feelings over whether or not she was really abandoning her people. She didn't care about anything else in the world as long as Clarke kept smiling at her like that. It was nice to have someone so excited to see you that they smiled the instant you met their eyes. It was also nice to see the way that Clarke excused herself from her conversation with Raven immediately and hurried over to where Lexa stood. The brunette decided to meet her halfway. She didn't miss the pride that was shining in Clarke's eyes at how well Lexa was walking, and the brunette didn't think it would ever cease to amaze her how much this blonde girl cared about her. She seemed to be as happy that Lexa was walking as Lexa was to be on her feet again.

Lexa reached Clarke as fast as she could, and she immediately threw her free arm over Clarke's shoulder, pulling the younger girl in for a kiss. Clarke seemed surprised for a moment, but she returned the kiss, and Lexa reveled in the feeling of being able to kiss the Sky Girl so openly without having to fear for her safety, without having to worry about being deemed weak. It was over too soon, in Lexa's opinion, but she understood why Clarke wanted to pull back before it got too heated. There were people everywhere, and the two girls didn't need to give them too much of a show.

"What's got you so happy?" Clarke asked with a wide grin, looking as happy as Lexa felt.

"You," Lexa said with a smile that probably had all of her feelings written into it. It was refreshing to be able to display all of her emotions so easily on her face instead of constantly having to hide them.

"Oh, really?" Clarke asked with a happy chuckle. "And what is it that I did?"

"You are cute, and you are here, and you like me."

"I do." Clarke kissed the tip of Lexa's nose. "You want to go relax in the tent for a little bit before dinner?"

Lexa shook her head. "I'm not tired. I'd much rather go for a walk. Care to join me?"

"You sure, Lex?" Clarke's smile fell away a bit. "You just got back from your first patrol."

"I know, but it was exciting, and there's no way I'll be able to rest right now. Just for a little while? We can stay inside the camp."

Clarke sighed and rolled her eyes playfully. "Fine. I'll walk with you. If I say no, you'll probably do it anyway, now that you don't need my help anymore."

Lexa winked in confirmation, smirking a bit when it made Clarke blush. As the two of them set out on a slow stroll around the borders of the camp, Lexa thought back to what she, Jasper, and Monty had discussed earlier. "Are you going to the fire tonight to drink some of Monty's moonshine?"

"Of course." Clarke waggled her eyebrows. "I could never pass up a party."

"I am thinking of coming with you," Lexa admitted. "I think that I should like to try some of this moonshine for myself."

"You sure? It's really strong."

"Yes. It is yet another thing that I never allowed myself to do with my people. I have always been curious though."

Clarke's face broke out into another wide grin. "Awesome. We're gonna have a great time tonight."

She grabbed Lexa's hand in hers, and the brunette silently agreed with her as she laced their fingers together. She was already having a great time right now.

* * *

At the fire that night, Lexa was introduced to the Skaikru's way of drinking. They seemed to like to play games while drinking their moonshine, and she found herself quickly warming up to a particular game called quarters. Clarke explained to her that a quarter was a form of currency that was used on the Ark to get certain items that one needed. Lexa thought that it was just a more complicated form of the trading that her people did for things, but she didn't mention this to Clarke because the game was starting. As far as Lexa could gather, the object of the game was to land the quarter in the cup that was set up on the middle of the table. If it didn't go in at all, you had to drink. If it did, you got to choose another player to take a drink. She was determined to get three in a row into the cup because Clarke had explained to her that she got to make up any rule she wanted if that happened. She already had a few in mind.

Raven was first up, as she had been declared the quarters champion last time, although Lexa still wasn't exactly sure how to win. She bounced her quarter in twice in a row, making Octavia and Clarke drink, and Lexa really thought that she was going to get three in a row when she missed her third one. Jasper slapped her on the back. "Nice try, but better luck next time."

Clarke stepped up next and easily landed her quarter in the cup. It was surprising to see that the blonde was fairly good at this game, and it struck Lexa that she must not be much of a stranger to drinking. The blonde easily pointed at Jasper to drink, and the boy cheered, eager to get some moonshine in him.

When it was Lexa's turn, she threw her quarter, but it bounced off the lid of the cup. She might have gotten frustrated at one point, but she didn't care so much right now. This wasn't about proving that she was better than everybody else. This was just for fun, like tic tac toe had been, and she didn't even mind that she had to drink. The liquid burned on its way down her throat, but it felt pleasant when it settled within her. She had never had much more than a few sips of alcohol at celebrations and certainly nothing as strong as this. She knew that she was going to be drunk by the end of the night. She smiled when she realized that she was perfectly okay with that.

Raven was the first person to land the quarter in the cup three times in a row. "My rule is that you have to stand on one leg until someone makes a new rule."

Everyone who was participating, and even some who weren't, laughed. Clearly, this was a favorite amongst the Sky People, and Lexa could see how it might be a challenge for any of them, now that they were all starting to feel tipsy. Lexa glanced down at her own legs and bit her lip. She was starting to feel a bit unbalanced as well, and she knew that it would be even harder for her to keep her balance than it would for the rest of them. She wondered if it would be fair of her to use her cane.

Clarke seemed to pick up on Lexa's unease because she was pointing it out to Raven before the other girl could move on with her turn. "Rae, Lexa can't stand on one leg right now. Pick something else."

"I'm fine, Clarke," Lexa assured her. "As long as I am still allowed my cane, I should be alright."

"You realize you'll have to hop on one foot when you move, right?" Clarke asked skeptically.

"And if you fall, you have to drink," Raven warned, looking as if she was seriously considering changing the rules for Lexa.

Lexa nodded. "I'll be fine."

She was determined to play the game just like everyone else. If she fell, she would just have to drink. She wouldn't get hurt from losing her balance. She knew that Clarke would have made much more of a fuss had she been sober, so Lexa was kind of relieved that she wasn't. She was surprisingly able to keep herself steady for the majority of the time that the rule remained, only falling once. Raven had told her that some people played where the rules stayed in effect for the whole game, but they had decided to play where rules only stayed in effect until the next rule replaced it. That way, they didn't have too many rules to remember in their inebriated state.

The drunker she got, the clingier Lexa got around Clarke, and it was taking everything that she had right now not to capture the blonde's lips and drag her in for a heated kiss. Still, she made a point to keep a hold of Clarke's hand at all times, aside from when one of them had to step up to take their turns. She didn't miss the jealous looks that Finn kept shooting in her direction, but she didn't feel any sort of sympathy for him. Instead, she held Clarke tighter, letting him know that Clarke was hers now and that he shouldn't have messed up so badly if he wanted her this much. Lexa was able to catch onto the game rather quickly, as she was trained to be a very quick learner as the Commander, and so she was not surprised when she was the next one to land three quarters in a row.

"Every time, before you drink, you have to kiss someone," Lexa giggled drunkenly. She wondered when her feelings of attraction for Clarke had turned her into such a fool. She didn't mind though. She was finding it hard to focus on anything but the girl beside her right now anyway.

Many people groaned at Lexa's rule, probably because there wasn't anyone in their friends circle that they wanted to kiss, but she didn't care. She needed to get her lips on Clarke's, even though she knew she didn't need an excuse. For some reason, making it a part of the game sounded more fun. On Clarke's next turn, the blonde missed right off the bat, meaning that she had to drink. The glint in her eyes as she leaned in to kiss Lexa told the warrior that she had done it on purpose. Lexa moved her lips against Clarke's hungrily for a moment, wishing that they never had to pull back. The game had to go on, though, and Clarke had to drink, so Lexa pulled back easily, knowing that she would get the chance to do it again soon. She felt rather proud of herself for making that rule. That was, until she realized what a bad idea it actually was. The drama started when Finn wanted to kiss Clarke before he had to drink.

"No way, Finn," Clarke slurred. "Pick someone else."

"Why can't I pick you?" he argued. "There weren't any rules as to who I could and couldn't pick."

"You can't make me kiss you if I don't want to," Clarke said confidently, burrowing in closer to Lexa's side. "Everyone else has agreed to kiss the person that has chosen them, and I don't want to kiss you."

Finn scowled, and he looked rather pissed off for the remainder of the game. So maybe Lexa's rule hadn't been the best idea, after all. She was sort of glad when Monty got his quarter into the cup three times in a row and was able to make a new rule to replace it. His rule was that you had to refer to yourself in the third person whenever you talked about yourself. Lexa had to admit that it was a great rule, as many people forgot more than once and had to drink. Lexa had to drink five times because of that rule, but she was feeling too high on the moonshine and the girl beside her to care. Even though it was no longer in effect, she and Clarke kept up the rule of kissing each other before they drank every single time.

By the end of the night, Lexa was really feeling the effects of the alcohol. She wondered why on earth she had never gotten drunk before. She felt like she was on top of the world. Nothing mattered except for her and Clarke and making out. Her head felt sort of foggy, and she had no qualms about sloppily kissing Clarke. They had been making out for several long minutes, Lexa's hand wandering down to squeeze Clarke's ass, resulting in a satisfying moan, when Raven yelled out, "Get a room!"

She swatted Lexa on the ass as she said it, and Lexa pulled back in surprise. She was much too busy wondering why Raven had hit her there to even bother trying to figure out the meaning of what Raven had said before. "Did you just hit my behind?"

"Yes," Raven grinned. "Why don't you guys calm down and go to sleep? It's really late, and I don't want you two to take a huge step in your relationship, or whatever this is, when you won't even remember it in the morning."

Lexa supposed that Raven was right. She knew enough about alcohol to know that the other girl was telling the truth about its effects. She supposed that she would rather remember taking a big step like that with Clarke, if that was in fact where they were headed, but she still couldn't help a pout from playing out on her face, now that her lips were separated from Clarke's. "But she's mine."

"Do you want to sleep with her, Lexa?" Raven giggled.

"Yes," Lexa answered easily.

She wondered where her filter had gone. She normally would never be so honest about such a thing, but she was feeling all bubbly and safe, and she couldn't help but want to tell the truth. It was probably a god thing that she wouldn't remember any of this in the morning and an even better thing that Raven wouldn't.

"Don't worry, Lexa. I want to sleep with you, too," Clarke agreed, snaking an arm around Lexa's waist.

"Do you want to marry her, Lexa?" Octavia joined in, giggling as well.

"I am not familiar with that term," Lexa said with a puzzled frown.

"It means live with her forever and ever and have kids together," Raven said happily.

Lexa was still a little confused, but she thought that Raven must be referring to the Skaikru's version of her former people's bonding ceremonies. She was about to answer, but Clarke spoke up first, causing Lexa herself to giggle. "Yes, please say you want to marry me, Lexie."

Lexa was sort of surprised by the question, and the blonde girl's desire for such a serious commitment. Then again, she knew that Clarke was drunk, and so was she. She liked Clarke, that much was true, but she wasn't even sure if she loved the other girl yet. How could she be expected to make such a serious commitment? Then again, Clarke was the first one since Costia who had actually wanted to be with her, who hadn't been too afraid of her or what being with the Commander might entail. She liked Clarke, and Clarke liked her, so why not? Besides, it wasn't like this was a serious decision that any of them would remember tomorrow.

"Sure," Lexa replied.

Octavia and Raven cheered in a loud and obnoxious way, and Clarke smiled brightly, extending her hand to Lexa. "Let's go consummate our marriage."

Lexa was almost tempted to take the other girl up on her offer, but then she remembered what Raven had said. She didn't want to do something that important while she wasn't sober. "How about we just go to sleep?"

Clarke looked as if she was considering that for a moment before she came to a decision. "Only if we can cuddle."

"Well, duh." Lexa rolled her eyes playfully, using a phrase that she had picked up from Raven.

She began to walk in the direction of their tent with legs that were frustratingly wobbly again. She was glad that she still had her cane for support.

"This is an effect of the alcohol, right?" Lexa asked Clarke, turning to see that the blonde hadn't moved from where she had been standing yet.

"Yeah, babe it can do that. You'll be fine in the morning," Clarke assured her, then pulled a face. "Well, I shouldn't say fine. You'll probably have a killer hangover, but you'll be able to walk right again."

Lexa nodded. "Good. To the walking part, not the hangover."

She had never had a hangover before, but she had watched plenty of her people go through them. She knew that it was not a particularly pleasant experience, but she supposed she was about to find that out for herself. Clarke laughed at her statement and started forward as well. She only made it a few steps before she stumbled over her own feet and crashed to the ground. Lexa made her way over to Clarke's side as quickly as she could on her shaking legs and extended a hand down to the blonde with a smile. "Would you like me to help you up?"

"Please. That would be great."

Clarke grasped Lexa's hand, and the brunette helped to pull the Sky Girl back onto her feet before wrapping her free arm around the other girl's waist. Clarke easily sunk into her side, wrapping her own arms around Lexa's waist for support. It was clear that the blonde had drunk a fair amount more than Lexa had tonight.

"I guess I need you to help me walk tonight." Clarke hiccupped.

"I'm happy to do it," Lexa answered honestly. "I kind of owe you at this point."

Clarke laughed, and then they continued their walk to the tent in silence. It wasn't an awkward silence though; it was a comfortable one. Lexa had to admit that it was a little strenuous to hold up most of Clarke's waist when she herself had had more than her fair share of alcohol tonight as well, but she was determined to be the one to support Clarke this time. She wanted to be there for the blonde like the Sky Girl was always there for her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I'm really sorry that I haven't updated this story in a month. I was just really busy with the last month of the semester, and I didn't have a lot of time to write. Anyways, school is over now until the fall, so I should have more time to write, and updates should be more frequent. Thank you all for your patience, and I hope that you continue to read this! Enjoy the new chapter! :)

The next day, Lexa awoke with the feeling that there were tiny beings living inside of her head, repeatedly hammering away on the inside of her skull. Clarke explained to her that she had a hangover from drinking so much moonshine, and while Lexa was not familiar with that particular term, she had seen enough of her people go through this to know that it was completely normal. Lexa couldn't remember much from the night before, but she knew enough to know that she had drunk more than her fair share of moonshine at Jasper and Monty's little party. She was sure that she had had plenty of fun at the time, but she couldn't help but regret it now that she was feeling so awful. Luckily, the rest of the people who had participated in the drinking, which was the majority of the camp, didn't feel well either, and so not much was expected of any of them that day. Clarke and Lexa spent most of their time that day huddled under a blanket together, trying their best to block out the sunlight that was filtering in through the material of the tent and hurting their eyes.

When Lexa could finally walk without her cane again, she didn't think that anything had ever felt better. She made sure to chip in around camp during the day, either going out on patrols, helping to prepare meat, or doing any other jobs that would be useful to the Skaikru. Every night, she slept curled up with Clarke, and she didn't think that cuddling had ever felt this good, even with Costia. It was nice to think that she no longer had any responsibilities other than the ones that everyone shared. Clarke didn't even seem to have any lately either. Bellamy was perfectly capable of making sure that all the chores for the day got done, and Lexa's former people didn't seem to be bothering the Skaikru anymore. Maybe they had finally come to the rightful conclusion that the Sky People meant them no harm.

Lexa was slowly getting used to the lazy mornings she spent with Clarke and the leisure time that she now had with her newfound friends. She had rarely ever had time to just spend with friends in Polis, but she had often watched on with a wistful expression while her people had fun, knowing that she needed to be on constant alert to make sure that no harm would come to them. Here, she was allowed to just be another one of the people. The Skaikru were starting to treat her as such, too, even when Clarke wasn't around. Once the initial shock of her becoming one of them had worn away, the Sky People began to treat her the same way they treated the rest of their people, talking to her politely about simple things, and it was all too easy for Lexa to reciprocate. No one looked to her to lead anymore. No one expected her to be anything more than the girl that she was.

She was finally no one other than herself.

She didn't ever want to be anyone else again.

As Lexa spent more and more time with the Skaikru, she began to lose track of the days, as they all seemed to blend into one. Each day wasn't important anymore because she no longer had to plan out the events of each one. She didn't know how much time had passed since the night of the moonshine, but she thought that it had to be getting close to a week.

When she emerged from her tent that morning, she was alone because Clarke had been woken up earlier to treat one of her people, who she thought to have come down with a common cold, whatever that was. While Lexa was picking up on more and more of the Sky People's slang, she certainly hadn't caught on to all of it yet. She had planned to eat a quick breakfast while she waited for the other girl to return, but she had barely even reached the fire when Jasper and Monty were appearing before her with wide grins.

"Come look at our catch, Lexa," Jasper said proudly, the grin never leaving his face.

A mischievous twinkle settled in green eyes as Lexa responded, unable to help a smile of her own from spreading over her face at the sight of her friends. "Only if I can eat some of it."

"Of course," Monty was quick to answer. "You'll love it."

Lexa eagerly followed the two boys into the food tent, and her eyes widened when she saw that they had brought down a buck. She was surprised that the two normally goofy and slightly clumsy boys had had the skill to catch that. Her mouth watered at the sight, and she nodded appreciatively in their direction. "Very nice catch. You did well today."

They glowed under her praise, and she was happy that they had been able to bring down something that they could be so proud of. She happily spent time with the two boys while they waited for the buck to be skinned and roasted by the people that had been given that duty for today. When Jasper and Monty were finally able to grab their plates, getting first selection of the meat since they had brought it down, they brought a plate for Lexa as well, and her stomach growled loudly. If this had happened in front of her people, she would've been extremely embarrassed, but it was funny here, and she laughed along with her friends at the sound. Conversation ceased slightly between the three of them as they all sat down around the fire and dug into their food. Lexa was too focused on the juicy taste of the meat to even try and formulate a sentence for a good few minutes. When the three of them could speak again, the conversation began to flow as easily as it always seemed to, as if the three of them had always been friends. Lexa could only hope that they always would be.

Laughter erupted from Lexa's mouth when Jasper and Monty said that they were going up to get seconds. She wondered where they could possibly fit all that food. She felt plenty full from the portion that she had already eaten, which had been slightly less than theirs, and she didn't think that she could eat another bite. However, the boys seemed as if they were nowhere near full, and she shook her head in amusement. They asked if she wanted more as well, but she declined, saying that she wanted to go see if Clarke was back from the dropship yet.

She poked her head back into her and Clarke's tent and was surprised to see that Clarke wasn't there. She figured that the younger girl must have been put on a patrol, as she hadn't seemed to be worried about the sick boy earlier, so Lexa decided to take a walk around camp. This was something that she often did in her spare time. Even though she could walk perfectly fine again, she still liked to do it as much as she could. That way, her muscles would not weaken again. She knew that they had only become weak from the seriousness of her injuries and that a day without any significant walking would not hurt her at all, but the memory of how weak she had been still haunted her mind, and she wanted to make sure that she was never that way again.

After several minutes of walking, Lexa caught sight of Octavia just outside of the camp walls, and she looked over in curiosity at what the other girl was doing. She appeared to be shooting a bow and arrow at a target that she had carved in the center of a tree, and Lexa immediately perked up at the sight. It had been way too long since she had actually shot a bow and arrow, since she preferred to hunt with a dagger, and it looked like Octavia could use some help with her aim. Lexa would be lying if she said that she didn't miss training sessions with the nightbloods, the one thing about her position that she had actually enjoyed. She knew that Octavia would probably be just as eager to learn, and Lexa didn't feel awkward at all about going out to offer the girl help. She knew that her help would be much appreciated, as the other girl had already hinted at wanting it before.

The guard at the gates easily opened the door for Lexa when she expressed her interest in going out. He didn't regard her with wary eyes or question her on her intended whereabouts. He simply opened the door and let her walk through without a second glance. She easily made her way over to Octavia, and the younger girl turned to her with bright eyes. "Lexa! I'm practicing my shot with this bow and arrow. Think you could give me some tips?"

"Absolutely." Lexa nodded, accepting the weapon that was being offered to her.

Lexa carefully knocked the arrow, setting her feet up just right and focusing her eye on the target. She pulled the string back and released the arrow, satisfied when she noticed it sink into the center of the target with a thunk. Lexa turned back to Octavia to find that her friend's jaw had dropped, hazel eyes fixed on green in clear awe. "How?"

"Many, many years of intense training," Lexa answered. No matter how much she wished that she hadn't been forced to acquire these skills, she couldn't help but feel somewhat proud of them now.

"You normally hunt with your dagger, though," Octavia pointed out, having been on more than one hunting expedition with the older girl by now.

"Yes." Lexa nodded. "That does not mean that I cannot hunt with other weapons, though. I have been trained to use practically everything, with the exception of guns. For hunting, I need to tread lightly in order to be quiet, so my dagger is the easiest thing for me to carry."

"You have perfect aim with both weapons," Octavia noted. "I think that I'd rather hunt with a dagger, too. Maybe then I wouldn't make so much noise, and I might be able to catch something bigger than a rabbit. Could you teach me to throw like you?"

"It took me years to get to where I am now, but I can do the best that I can." Lexa unstrapped the dagger from her thigh and held it out to the other girl.

Octavia got into a shaky stance, and Lexa thought that this might take longer than she had originally imagined. She had to remind herself that Octavia and the others had never had any experience with this kind of stuff before they arrived on the ground, so she would most likely be at the learning level of one of the children of Polis. Lexa circled Octavia for a little while, straightening her back and squaring her shoulders before widening her stance. When she finally backed away to scrutinize her work, she quickly stepped closer again to nudge Octavia's right foot forward before stepping back to look the Sky Girl over once more.

"Move your hand down some on the grip," Lexa instructed, moving on to correct the way that Octavia was holding the dagger. "Your hand should be low enough that your smallest finger always hangs off of the edge."

Octavia adjusted her hold on the dagger, making sure to follow Lexa's instructions exactly. "Okay."

Lexa nodded in satisfaction, giving a few more pointers before Octavia made the throw. "Make sure to remain as relaxed as possible, and you don't need to throw as hard as you can."

Octavia simply nodded, all of her focus so taken up by throwing the dagger that she couldn't seem to utter a verbal response. When Octavia finally released the weapon, Lexa watched as it flew through the air. The younger girl's aim was good, as the dagger hit the target, but it didn't stick, bouncing off because the throw had not hit head on. Octavia's face fell when she saw the knife clatter to the ground instead of embedding itself in the tree trunk. "What happened?"

"You stopped your arm motion too soon," Lexa said, having easily noticed the problem the moment that Octavia had thrown the dagger. "You need to make sure you follow through on your throw. Watch."

Lexa grabbed the dagger off of the ground and moved back to where Octavia was standing, easily getting into her own stance. She focused all of her attention on the target, and then she threw her dagger, which sailed into the center of the target. Octavia nodded at Lexa, looking determined to copy the throw that she had just seen. Lexa could also clearly see a hint of jealousy in hazel eyes, but she didn't comment on it. She simply grabbed the dagger from the trunk of the tree in front of her and handed it back to Octavia. The girl tried her best to get into the stance that Lexa had put her in the first time, and the older girl had to admit that her new pupil was a quick learner. The warrior only had to fix a few minor details before nodding to Octavia to throw it again. This time, the dagger hit the outermost ring of the target, and it stuck. Octavia turned back to Lexa with an overjoyed expression, clearly happy to have hit the target at all. "I did it!"

"You did, indeed," Lexa said with a smile. It was such a relief for her to be able to smile so freely here, rather than having to keep all of her emotions bottled up inside and be the steel-faced Commander like she had to with her people. She thought that she had probably smiled more in her time with the Skaikru than she ever had in her life, and there was nothing better than actually being allowed to feel. "Keep on practicing, and you should be able to hit the center soon."

"The bullseye," Octavia corrected.

Lexa tilted her head to the side in confusion, unsure what Octavia was talking about and hoping that the Sky Girl would elaborate.

"We call the center of the target the bullseye," Octavia explained.

"Why?" Lexa asked, not seeing any sense in that.

Octavia seemed to think about it for a moment before giving up with a shrug. "I actually have no idea. I guess that's just what people called them before the apocalypse. Maybe they were crazy."

Lexa couldn't help but laugh at this, and Octavia laughed along with her. This was what Lexa's days were like now, and she thought that she might never get enough.

* * *

After a few hours of dagger practice, Lexa was drawn out of teacher mode by Clarke approaching them from the direction of the camp. The brunette couldn't keep a huge smile off of her face as she accepted a kiss for the girl that she was growing closer to each and every day. Octavia pretended to gag, reminding both of the girls that she was still there. "You two are so cute that it's bordering on disgusting."

Clarke stuck her tongue out at the other girl once she pulled away, and Lexa laughed at the blonde's childish behavior. "How is your patient?"

"Much better. I'll have to give him more medication later, but he should be back to normal in a day or two." Clarke let out a sigh. "Then, I got asked to join a border patrol. With Finn. I got to listen to him whine about how he thinks we're not good together because you're a lying traitor. I'm getting tired of him, to be honest."

Lexa suddenly felt extremely guilty, and the hands that were still on her waist seemed to burn. She wasn't trying to betray Clarke's trust by not telling the blonde that she was the Commander, but she was certainly lying to her. She wanted to tell the other girl everything, but she couldn't. She knew that Clarke would most likely be disappointed in her for leaving her people, but, more importantly, she would probably send her back to them the minute that she found out that Lexa was the Commander. Clarke was so devoted to her own people that she would never understand why Lexa was choosing to leave her own. Things were different here though, better, and Lexa didn't think that she would ever be able to get Clarke to understand that. She didn't want to go back to a life where hardly anyone cared about her when she could stay here with these people who already seemed to like her so much. She didn't want to go back to Titus' teachings that everything she did was weakness either. She was tired of the harsh ways of her own people. Besides, it wasn't like she was actually harming Clarke in any way by keeping the information a secret.

Lexa wrapped her arms around the girl beside her and pulled her into a hug, wanting to feel that this other girl was real. Clarke was a little surprised at first, but she quickly sunk into the gesture, probably thinking that Lexa meant to comfort her after having to deal with Finn. However, Lexa was really trying to comfort herself by reminding herself that she wasn't alone. This wasn't weakness. Allowing herself to be…whatever she and Clarke were was the furthest thing from weakness that Lexa had ever felt. She was not about to ruin whatever they had between them by leaving now.

"Have you already gone out on patrol today, Lexa?" Clarke asked once she had pulled away.

The brunette shook her head, and Octavia spoke up excitedly from behind her. "She's been teaching me to throw a dagger. Watch this, Clarke."

Octavia then got into a perfect stance before demonstrating her throw, the dagger landing really close to the bullseye. Lexa couldn't stop her smile of pride at how far she had gotten with Octavia today, and Clarke whistled in appreciation, clapping her hands together. "Nice throw. Maybe you can teach me sometime."

Lexa nodded easily, and Clarke smiled widely before pinching the brunette's sides in the way that always made her jump. Lexa would hate it if anyone else ever did that to her, but she couldn't say that she minded it as long as it was Clarke. She kissed the blonde's cheek, and Clarke was just about to turn her head to meet Lexa's lips when Octavia thrust the dagger in between them, handle first, to separate them. "Before you guys start some kind of lovefest, I'm going to go back to camp to get something to eat."

"Good idea." Lexa accepted the dagger and strapped it back to her thigh. "Jasper and Monty got a buck earlier today. You should go and see if there's anything left."

Octavia's eyes lit up at the mention of the food, clearly hungry after training for so long, and she hurried off to get some for herself. The moment she was gone, Clarke turned to Lexa with a wide smirk. "I'll race ya to the clearing."

"What clearing?" Lexa asked, although she was pretty sure she already knew which clearing the blonde was referring to.

Clarke playfully rolled her eyes. "You know exactly what clearing I'm talking about."

"But it's not night yet," Lexa said in confusion. "The flowers will not be lit up."

The blonde just shrugged with another eye roll. "So? It's still our clearing. You gonna race me or not?"

"I will," Lexa answered with a smirk. "I hope you are prepared to lose."

"We'll see about that." Lexa did not miss the challenge in blue eyes.

Clarke counted to three, and they both took off running. Lexa was so happy that she could finally run again, the sights of the forest flying by around her beyond comforting. Clarke started out ahead of her, which left her a little bit discouraged, but she knew that it was only because she was out of practice. Running normally came so easy to her, but she was already feeling out of breath now after only a few seconds. She knew that it was only because she had been off of her feet for so long, but it was still slightly frustrating to realize that she had allowed herself to get so out of shape in the time that she had spent recovering. She knew that she didn't need to be so in shape if she was going to remain here, but she couldn't help but want to be prepared.

Clarke stayed ahead of Lexa for quite some time, but Lexa didn't push herself past her limits, knowing that that would make her crash and burn too easily. It seemed that Clarke hadn't had this same thought, though. She had clearly pushed herself too hard at the beginning of the race because Lexa overtook her before they actually reached the clearing. Clarke tried to speed up and reclaim her position, but she only ended up tiring herself more, and Lexa easily reached the clearing first, although Clarke wasn't far behind. The brunette pumped her fist in victory, like she had seen Monty do on occasion.

"I beat you," she declared, even though it was pointless to say.

"And what do I owe you, my queen?" Clarke asked with a playful twinkle in her eyes.

"A kiss," Lexa decided before clarifying, "a good, long kiss. Only I get to decide when it's over."

Clarke suddenly looked slightly nervous, which puzzled Lexa. It wasn't like they hadn't kissed on multiple occasions before. "Just a kiss, right?"

Lexa only nodded. "I would never do anything that you aren't comfortable with Clarke. Besides, I was only teasing. You're allowed to stop me at any time."

Clarke nodded and then crashed her lips to Lexa's in lieu of a verbal response. Lexa wanted a heated kiss for her victory, so she opened her mouth, and Clarke was quick to follow suit, allowing their tongues to dance together. Lexa gripped tightly to the blonde girl's waist, and she turned her head to deepen the kiss, wanting to feel nothing else but this for the rest of her days. They kissed for several long moments. Clarke didn't stop, and Lexa didn't stop either, even when the blonde's grip in her hair became slightly painful.

Lexa began to push Clarke backwards in order to press her into the tree that was a few feet behind her, but she tripped over a tree root as they went. Lexa's mind was slowed considerably in her daze from the kiss, so she didn't react fast enough to catch Sky Girl. Instead, she was pulled down right on top of the blonde. Clarke grunted, and Lexa tried to roll off of her right away, but Clarke kept the brunette's head in place, letting her know that she was fine and wanted to continue the kiss. Lexa easily obliged, having no desire to break the kiss either. She was only further spurned on by the new feeling of Clarke pinned beneath her, and she growled as the kiss turned quicker and sloppier. It was only when Clarke's hands ran underneath Lexa's shirt and clawed slightly at her back that the brunette finally pulled away. "Maybe we shouldn't go any farther out here, or we might end up doing that thing that you didn't seem ready for earlier."

Clarke was still panting from the kiss, lips noticeably swollen. "You're probably right, but I'll have you know that I loved that."

"I'm not too heavy, am I?" Lexa asked with a worried expression.

Clarke shook her head. "You're fine, Lexa. When I first met you, and you had all those muscles, you might have been too heavy, but you can't weight much more than me now. No offense."

"None taken." Lexa smiled at the girl below her. A perk of her muscle loss. Who would have thought?

She had the urge to kiss the girl beneath her again, but she restrained herself, forcing herself to roll off of the blonde, even though she wanted nothing more than to lie there and stare into those beautiful blue eyes for all of eternity. Once she was on her feet again, she extended a hand down to help Clarke to hers as well.

"Race ya back?" Clarke asked the minute that she was up, clearly eager for a chance to redeem herself.

Lexa grimaced slightly, already feeling pretty spent from their run here. She didn't want to disappoint Clarke, but she knew the blonde well enough by now to know that she would understand. "Maybe we shouldn't run anymore today. I've just gotten used to walking again, and running is a bit much for me right now."

"Whatever you need, Lex," Clarke said without hesitation, a small smile on her face.

As the two of them set off in the direction of camp, Clarke took Lexa's hand in hers, and a feeling of warmth spread through the brunette's chest. She had never felt this loved before, not even with Costia, and she wondered if she might be starting to fall for Clarke. She quickly brushed the thought aside, though, knowing that she would have plenty of time to figure it out.

"You just didn't want to race with me because you knew I would win this time, didn't you?" Clarke asked, her eyes narrowed playfully.

Lexa couldn't help but laugh as she nudged Clarke's shoulder with her own. "You wish."

* * *

The sun was beginning to sink in the sky when Clarke and Lexa returned to camp, and the blonde excused herself to go check on her patient again. Lexa gave her a chaste kiss before they parted. She thought for a moment about going back to their tent or seeing if there were any more patrols going out this evening that she could tag along on, but then she caught sight of Raven walking around with some machine, holding it up in different positions towards the sky and muttering to herself. The corners of Lexa's lips pulled down in a confused frown, and she wondered what it was that the mechanic could possibly be doing.

"What is that?" Lexa asked when she got within hearing range.

"It's a radio," Raven answered without even turning to see who had spoken, her brows furrowed in concentration. "I'm trying to use it to communicate with the people that are still on the Ark, if there's even anyone left. I thought that being in the dropship was interfering with the radio's signal, but that's not it at all. I made the radio wireless, and I'm still not picking up any signal from the Ark."

Lexa only understood about half of what Raven had said, and her confusion must have been prominent on her face because the mechanic elaborated a moment later. "Right before you came to join us, another dropship came down from our spaceship, but it blew up. We used to be able to communicate with our people using this radio, but we haven't been able to since that ship released. Everyone else has pretty much given up by now, but I'm still trying to see if I can get my radio to connect with them or not."

"So, you cannot be sure if your people are alive or not unless you can speak to them through that?" Lexa pointed at the radio in Raven's hands.

"Yes." Raven nodded in the affirmative.

"Oh." Lexa thought for a moment. "Can I do anything to help?"

"I don't think that anything we do is going to help." Raven sighed in defeat, finally turning her gaze to meet Lexa's. "It's not the radio; it's the Ark. Something must have happened when they sent that dropship down that caused them to lose connection with us."

Lexa opened her mouth to reply, but she immediately forgot what she had been about to say when she saw Murphy snatch the radio out of Raven's hands, his cronies behind him egging him on.

"Radio's still not working?" he sneered, looking it over. "Looks like a piece of junk to me."

"Stop fooling around, Murphy." Raven rolled her eyes. "You know as well as I do that we need that radio to communicate with our people."

"Oh, really? And how has that been working out for you?" Murphy taunted. "Because last I heard, we lost communication with them weeks ago. I might as well just throw it in the river, like Bellamy did with the first one."

"Seriously, stop," Raven said, her voice cool. "It took me a long time to make that, and we don't need to waste the time and parts on making a new one."

"You're right. We don't even need one at all."

Lexa looked around the camp, confused as to why no one was stepping in to help Raven. Shouldn't Murphy be punished for this sort of thing? Lexa knew that he was an asshole, but was everyone here so cowardly that he could just get away with whatever he pleased? Her former people would most definitely be punished for stealing from one another, and an example would be made of the thief. Lexa took a threatening step forward when Murphy made no indication that he intended to back down and leave Raven alone.

"Give her back the radio," Lexa growled. "It doesn't belong to you."

"So, now you've got the Grounder bitch defending you, Raven? Ooh, I'm so scared," Murphy said in mock-fright. "Say, Grounder, what are you going to do about it if I don't?"

"I will give you the punishment that you deserve," she said easily, not breaking eye contact with him. "Your people might be too scared to punish you, but I am not."

Something flickered in his eyes for a moment, but a moment was all that Lexa needed to know that she scared this cowardly boy. He was the weak one, just as Clarke had said, but he still refused to back down. "How do your people punish their thieves?"

"We take them to the city square and beat them while the people watch. That way, everyone sees what happens to those who think that it is alright to steal," Lexa snarled.

The boy was getting on her nerves, and she found herself itching to give him the punishment that he deserved. He had had it out for her since day one, trying to rally his people against her, even once she had become one of their own. He was cruel to her and his own people, and she was tired of watching him get away with it. She wasn't surprised when she realized that she was secretly hoping that he didn't give the radio back so that she might be the one to deliver his punishment.

"Okay then, bitch," he goaded. "I'm a thief, so punish me."

"It's okay, Lexa." Raven put her hand on the other girl's arm. "I can make a new radio if I have to. Don't waste your energy on him. He's not worth it."

Lexa began to nod in agreement, knowing that she could probably steal the radio back from the stupid boy at a later date. That was, until he threw the radio upon the ground and smashed it with his foot. Raven cried out in dismay, and Lexa was upon Murphy in an instant, pounding his face in. She got two punches in before he even thought to take a swing at her, and even then, he missed, his fist connecting with thin air as Lexa easily ducked out of the way. She quickly hooked his feet out from under him before climbing on top of him and hitting him several more times. She wished that she had had the self-control to bring him to the center of the camp so that the other members of the Skaikru might take delight in seeing this boy finally get what was coming to him, but all rational thought had flown out of her head the minute that he had smashed the radio that seemed to be so important to Raven. She took immense joy in his every scream.

She finally heard Raven yelling after several seconds when she felt the other girl's hand on her arm, and she wondered how long the mechanic had been trying to get her attention for. "Lexa, leave him alone! You're going to kill him."

She shook her head to clear it as she looked back down at the boy on the ground, realizing that he was near passing out, but she only shot him a satisfied smirk before springing back to her feet. "That's how 'Grounders' deal with their thieves."

"Like complete savages," Murphy managed to get out, but Lexa wasn't fazed. She had heard the boy refer to her by that term countless times before.

"This is how we deal with Grounders who are out of control," a voice behind her said.

Lexa spun around to face one of Murphy's cronies, she thought his name was Dax, with a smug expression, but it was quickly wiped from her face when her eyes landed on the object that he was holding in his hand. It was one of the vials of liquid that Clarke had injected her with in order to force her to fall asleep. A sedative, she remembered it was called. If Dax was able to stick her with it, then she would be left defenseless, and him and his friends would be able to beat her senseless for what she had done to Murphy. She cursed herself for forgetting about the Skaikru's superior technology, and she turned quickly to Raven, trying her best to hide her panic.

"Lexa, run!" the other brunette shouted.

Lexa took off at a sprint in the other direction, heading for the gates that would take her out of the camp. A voice in the back of her head told her that she should've just run to Clarke, that Clarke would protect her, but it was too late for her to change direction now. She kept running for the gates, knowing that she could run to the clearing with the glowing flowers and wait for Clarke there. She knew that that was the first place that the blonde would check when she heard that Lexa was missing. If only she could make it out of the gate.

She tore through the campgrounds, cursing herself for being so out of shape. She knew that she would've easily been able to outrun any member of the Sky People before the explosion on the bridge, but now she wasn't so sure. She started to gain hope when she saw the gates in sight, and she pushed herself harder, hoping that the guard would open them for her. A small smile graced her lips when he began to pull the door open at the sight of her, and she wanted to cry when she felt strong arms wrap around her waist right before she could make it through. She tried her best to wriggle free from the iron-strong grip, but Dax was taking no chances, sticking her with the needle before she could even get a chance to use her superior fighting skills to get away. She screamed in agony now that she knew what was soon to follow, hoping that someone would find the courage to come and help her.

No one did.

She was already starting to go unconscious; she couldn't move any of her limbs anymore, and the last thing that she heard before the world turned black let her know how serious this situation actually was. "Let's take her to Bellamy. He'll know what to do with her."

Only then did she realize what she had done. She had hurt someone. That was the one thing that Bellamy had said she couldn't do. He had warned Clarke that it was punishable by death, and now Lexa was going to be delivered right to him, completely defenseless, and there was nothing that she could do to stop it.

As she finally allowed her eyes to fall closed, she wondered if she would ever open them again.

* * *

When Clarke finally emerged from the dropship, after checking on Ronnie and talking to him for a little while, the first thing that she noticed was Bellamy and some others bringing someone over on a stretcher. In her desire to relax after the day's events, Clarke gave the matter little importance, figuring that someone else must have caught Ronnie's cold. She was already halfway to her tent when she realized that a cold would not call for the use of a stretcher. Only then did she realize that something was seriously wrong, and she hurried off in the direction of the procession towards the dropship, reaching them just before they could enter. Her eyes almost popped out of her head when she realized that the person on the stretcher was Lexa. She was instantly worried sick, even though she could see no visible injuries.

"What the hell happened?" she asked. "What's wrong with Lexa? Is she okay?"

"For now," Bellamy answered gruffly, "but she won't be for much longer."

"Why not?" Clarke demanded. "What is going on?"

"Lexa attacked Murphy today," Bellamy stated, his tone disapproving. "The deal was that she would die if she hurt anyone, and now she has. She'll be sentenced to death tomorrow."

Just like that, Clarke's world shattered around her. She couldn't even begin to process that Lexa, the girl who had become her entire world in the past few weeks, was about to be killed for attacking the biggest asshole in the entire camp. Knowing Murphy, Clarke was almost one hundred percent certain that he had been asking for it.

"Did you ask him what he did to provoke her?" Clarke challenged immediately. "She wouldn't just attack him out of the blue."

"Of course she would. She's a Grounder."

Clarke was about to protest more, knowing that she would do anything to save the girl that she was falling harder for each and every day, but Raven hurried over before she could even open her mouth, clearly having heard their argument. "He did provoke her. I was trying to reestablish contact with the Ark by making the radio wireless and getting it out of the dropship. He stole it from me, and he kept goading Lexa to punish him for it. You and I both know that he isn't Lexa's number one fan. He did it on purpose because he knew what would happen if she attacked him."

The hard look on Bellamy's face didn't change. "A deal is a deal."

"Listen, Bellamy, she didn't understand," Raven continued, her voice taking on a pleading tone, and Clarke hadn't fully realized until now how much Lexa had come to mean to her friends. "She said that's how thieves are punished where she came from, and she probably thought that things were no different here. She thought she was doing us a favor. She couldn't have possibly known that that's not the way that we deal with things because nothing like this has ever happened in front of her before."

"Which is exactly why she should stop pretending to be one of us," Bellamy growled, clearly starting to lose his patience.

Clarke was about ready to burst from Bellamy's stupidity. "Enough! When your sister was about to get attacked by a panther not even two weeks ago, who saved her?" Everyone was silent, so Clarke rolled her eyes and answered for them. "It was Lexa. Without her, your precious little sister would be dead, and I say that you owe her one for that."

Something in Bellamy seemed to shift in that moment, the hard glint dropping away from his eyes, and Clarke couldn't help a sigh of relief from escaping her lips before he responded. "Fine. She clearly shouldn't have to die, but I can't let her go without punishment." Bellamy must have sensed that Clarke was about to argue because he opened his mouth to elaborate before she could open hers. "Anyone else would be punished in this situation as well. I can't have everyone in the camp thinking that they can beat people up with no consequences." He turned to the people beside him before Clarke even had a chance to think it over. "Tie her up in the dropship. We'll keep her in there for five days, and maybe then she will learn her lesson, but make sure that whoever stands guard by her knows that no one is to harm her."

Clarke wished that there was something more that she could do to stop this from happening, but the rest of the people around her seemed to agree with Bellamy. She supposed that it might be fair to keep Lexa in there for a day, but five seemed extremely excessive. She wanted to argue more, but she decided to just let it go for the night, knowing that Lexa was probably lucky to be escaping Bellamy's originally proposed death sentence. Clarke was about to hurry inside the dropship after the people that were taking Lexa inside when she felt a hand on her arm pulling her to a stop.

"You're not going inside." It was Bellamy.

"Why not?" Clarke challenged immediately. She had already had enough of the boy for one day, and she had barely spoken to him for five minutes.

"Because it's getting late," he said in a calm voice. "You need to get back to your tent and get some rest."

"I'm sleeping in there with her," Clarke said, rolling her eyes for good measure. She would have thought that would have been obvious by now.

"Clarke, I've already agreed to let her live, and I've even assured you that she won't be hurt, but she needs to be punished. You can bring her meals to her each day, but you're not spending your nights with her as well."

The challenge dropped out of blue eyes instantly as sorrow washed over her, and she couldn't help it as tears started to prick at the corners of her eyes. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't blink them away, and this suddenly seemed like the worst possible thing that could happen to her. Her voice broke as she spoke. "I can't sleep without her."

"I'm sorry, but I think I've done enough for you today," Bellamy said, his tone holding no real remorse.

Bellamy was clearly going to remain unwavering tonight, and Clarke's shoulders slumped when she realized that there was nothing else she could do. She was going to have to spend her first night sleeping without Lexa in a month, and she knew that it was going to kill her. More importantly, she knew that Lexa was going to be so disoriented when she woke up alone in the dropship with her hands bound above her head. Clarke knew that it would have been much easier for the warrior if she were there with her, and she felt terrible that she couldn't be. However, she didn't want to push Bellamy any more today than she already had. She didn't want him to change his mind about allowing Lexa to live.

Clarke hadn't even noticed the tear that was rolling down her cheek until Raven was wiping it away, her other hand going to rub up and down Clarke's arm in what was meant to be a comforting manner. "It'll be okay. She's only gonna be in there for five days."

"That's a long time, Raven," Clarke sniffled. "She's gonna be so confused when she wakes up."

"She'll be fine." Raven hesitated before continuing to speak. "Look, I know that this probably isn't what you want to hear, but maybe this is what's best for her. I saw her when she was wailing on Murphy, and the look in her eyes was…wild. I've never seen her look that way before. I think she would've killed him if I hadn't stopped her."

Clarke's eyes instantly hardened, a little put off by her friend's words. "Please, don't you start, too. I thought that Lexa was your friend."

"She is," Raven was quick to reassure the blonde, "but you have to admit that she's different than us. She grew up in a completely different culture."

Clarke shook her head in anger, tears clouding her vision again. "She's not different with me."

The blonde didn't even give Raven a chance to respond before she spun on her heel and stomped off in the direction of her tent. What she needed was a chance to just curl up in her bed and let all of the emotions of the past few minutes out. Maybe, she could even take comfort in Lexa's scent that she was sure still clung to the pillow. She had to stop herself from groaning aloud when Finn stepped into her way to stop her before she could get there.

"I'm sorry about what happened with Lexa," he said, not sounding sorry at all. He even had a pleased smile on his face. "It must be hard to find out that she's just a crazy savage like I've been trying to tell you all along, but I want you to know that I'm here for you."

Clarke just scoffed at him. "She's _not_ a savage. I know that you're just jealous of her because you're in love with me, but I could never love someone as selfish as you. I love Lexa, and there's nothing that anyone can do to change that. Now, get out of my way."

His eyes widened when he heard the wards that came out of her mouth, as did her own, and she wondered if it was possible that she meant them. Was she actually in love with Lexa, or had she just blurted the words out in the heat of the moment to keep Finn off her tail? Either way, the words did the trick. A scowl settled over Finn's face as he slinked away, and Clarke sighed in relief as she walked the rest of the way to her tent. She didn't think about the words that she had said anymore that night, brushing them aside as she sank down into her bed, too tired to contemplate whether or not they were true.

Despite her utter exhaustion, though, Clarke could not seem to ever fully fall asleep that night. She tossed and turned until the sun came up, never quite able to get comfortable without Lexa lying beside her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning, Clexakru! I'm sorry that it took me a bit longer than usual to update again, but my beta suggested that I blend my ideas for the next two chapters into one because the first part was not eventful enough, and I agreed with her. So while you have my beta to thank for the longer wait, you also have her to thank for this much better chapter! I hope you'll also appreciate the fact that it's a long one. Thank you all for continuing to read! Enjoy!

The next morning, Clarke was outraged to find that Murphy's only punishment for breaking Raven's radio, their only way of communicating with their people, was that he would get last pick of the meat for three days. It was extremely unfair how he was getting off so easily just because he was one of the Sky People, as they were referred to these days. Lexa was supposed to be one of them as well, but it didn't seem like anyone was too keen to step up to defend her now that they had heard what had happened, save for Clarke's own friends. It was no secret that most of the people in the camp hated Murphy and his band of assholes, but it seemed that Lexa attacking him made them immediately fear her, even though they had all probably thought of doing the exact same thing on multiple occasions. Clarke hated the unfair way that her people were treating Lexa, and the minute that Bellamy was alone, she approached him in a rage.

"What the hell are you doing? Stringing Lexa up in the dropship while Murphy basically gets off scot-free?"

"He's not getting away with what he did," Bellamy argued. "Nobody wants last pick of the meat. There might not even be any left for him sometimes."

"Yeah, right," Clarke scoffed. "At least, he's free to do whatever he wants all day and night. And what's up with the three-day punishment? You gave Lexa five!"

"Lexa attacked one of our own. The only thing that Murphy did was break that useless radio. It wasn't working anyway."

Clarke almost couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You didn't even care about the radio at all. You wanted him to break it so that we'll lose touch with our people for sure. You're still hoping that they never come down here so that you can stay in charge." She could tell by the look on his face that she was right. "You think you're a leader, Bellamy? Well, you're not a very good one. No good leader would treat his own people unfairly, and no good leader would ever be so unhospitable to someone who needed help, even if she wasn't born one of us."

Bellamy opened his mouth to reply, a look of anger crossing his face, but Clarke didn't allow him to. She spun around and left him standing there before he could even get a word in because she didn't want to listen to the ways that he would most assuredly try to defend himself. She was tired of having to deal with him, and she just wanted to see Lexa. She had to physically stop herself from just storming into the dropship right away, not wanting to have to put up with Bellamy again. He had told her that she could bring Lexa her meals, though, and that was what she intended to do.

She hopped from foot to foot as she waited by the food tent, silently willing the hunting patrols to return as soon as possible. The patrols didn't return as quickly as she would have liked them to. As she was standing outside of the tent, her friends came to her and asked if she would like to accompany them on a border patrol that they had been stuck on, but she politely declined. She knew that they would probably interrogate her about it later because she was normally the first person to volunteer to help out, but they could clearly see that they would get nowhere if they tried to talk to her now. She couldn't even remember who it had been that had asked.

When the first hunting patrol finally returned, Clarke was glad to see that none of her friends were a part of it because she knew that her impatient behavior would not have gone unnoticed by them. She was practically breathing down the people's necks as they hurried to skin the animal and cook the meat. The activities had to have been done in record time, but it still felt like forever to Clarke.

What also felt like forever was waiting for the people who had caught the game to pick their meat. It seemed as if they tried to take all the time in the world to pick out their cuts just to spite Clarke, but she knew, deep down, that they couldn't have been longer than anyone else ever was. She quickly grabbed a plate after them and began to cut off the nicest bits of meat, creating a nice plate for Lexa and completely forgetting to get anything to eat herself.

She hurried off to the dropship, both itching to see Lexa again and feeling slightly anxious about how she might find the other girl. When she entered the dropship, a boy named Samson poked his head through the hatch that led to the second floor, looking to see who it was that had entered. He was clearly the one who was standing guard with Lexa for the day. He immediately nodded in approval when he saw the plate of food that Clarke was holding in her hand, climbing down the ladder and gesturing for Clarke to go up.

"I'll be right here the whole time," Samson informed her. "Try not to take too long, and don't untie her. I have been given very explicit instructions from Bellamy that she is not to be untied."

On a normal occasion, Clarke would have been enraged at Bellamy's irrational behavior, but she barely even heard what Samson was saying as she nodded in agreement, brushing past him to climb up the ladder to the place where Lexa was being held. She poked her head through the hole in the floor to see Lexa tied up in the same position that Lincoln was once held in. She was staring at the ground in front of her, and it broke Clarke's heart to see her looking so put out. Lexa's eyes immediately lit up, though, when she saw the blonde girl pull herself into the room. "Clarke."

"Lexa," Clarke managed to get out, and it took her a few more moments before she could formulate more words and push them past the lump that was growing in her throat. "I'm so sorry that this happened. Are you okay?"

"I'm supposing you want the real answer," Lexa said, the light fading from her eyes a bit again. Clarke nodded, and Lexa gave an experimental tug on the ropes that were binding her hands. "I despise having my hands tied like this, but I'm doing as well as I can be, I guess. No one has tried to harm me yet, so that has been favorable."

"And no one will," Clarke promised. "Your punishment is just being tied up. No one is allowed to touch you."

Lexa nodded as she looked up at Clarke with slight confusion. "I still do not fully understand what it is that I am being punished for."

"It was because you attacked Murphy, Lex. That's not the way that we deal with things here. We normally decide as a group what kind of punishment someone deserves before executing it or at least talk to someone about it first. We never just start beating people up."

"Normally, my people do not either," Lexa admitted, "but that is only because we wish to make a spectacle of these people. That boy just made me furious, and I'm sorry that I didn't know that he was not to be punished."

"Hey, you couldn't have known," Clarke said gently.

"But I should have," Lexa said with miserable green eyes. "I am Skaikru, too."

"You're just now learning to be, and that's fine. It's my fault for not explaining things better."

Clarke chided herself for not speaking to Lexa about all of the rules of her people sooner. At the time, she hadn't thought that her people would need much punishment, and she certainly didn't think that Lexa would act on her own like that. Now, she realized that she should've just taken precautions and given her a lesson or something on the way of her people.

"How long am I to be in here?" Lexa pulled Clarke out of her thoughts. "All day, I suppose?"

Clarke closed her eyes as she thought of the real answer to that question, and she wished more than anything that she didn't have to be the one to give it. She didn't think that she could bear Lexa's reaction. However, Lexa's face had already fallen at Clarke's silence, so the blonde swallowed hard and forced the words past her teeth. "Five days."

"Five days?" Lexa asked in disbelief. "My legs are already aching from standing here so long, and my arms hurt as well."

She began to tug on her restraints almost involuntarily, but, of course, that did nothing to loosen them. Clarke hurried across the room and grabbed Lexa's hands in hers to still them. "Don't do that, Lexa. I don't want you to rub your wrists raw."

"I want to get out of here."

Clarke thought that Lexa sounded as if she was about to cry, but the blonde didn't see a single tear in green eyes. It was then that she realized that she had never seen Lexa cry before. Not once in all the time that she had known her, and there had been plenty of times that warranted it. Clarke herself would have cried on multiple occasions had she been in the same amount of pain that Lexa had been in towards the beginning of her stay here. She wondered if, perhaps, Lexa couldn't cry as a result of radiation or something, but she instantly brushed the thought aside as ridiculous. She knew that it was much more likely that the brunette didn't cry because she had gotten so used to bottling her emotions up inside of her over the years.

"I know, Lexa." Clarke brought her hands up to comb through brown hair. "I agree with you that five days is absurd, and I will do everything I can to get Bellamy to lessen your sentence."

Lexa nodded, and Clarke couldn't help but notice the tiny flicker of hope that flared up in green eyes. It made her all the more determined to get Lexa out of here as soon as possible. As much as she wanted to stand here and comb Lexa's hair back with her fingers for all of eternity, Clarke knew that that was not the reason that she had been allowed up here to see the brunette. She needed to give Lexa her food now because she knew that Samson wouldn't let her stay up here forever, so she grabbed the plate off of the floor where she had placed it by the entrance. "I brought you some food."

As Clarke moved closer again, Lexa recoiled a bit, and Clarke was puzzled by the action. Surely, the other girl was hungry by now. Yet, she was eyeing the food warily. "Did you have to bring me so much?"

Clarke looked down at the food, wondering if she had grabbed too much in her haste, but it seemed fine to her. She turned her eyes back up to Lexa. "This is no more than you usually eat."

Lexa looked away. "Well, maybe I am not feeling very hungry today."

Clarke took another step forward, disbelief clear on her face. "I know you're hungry, Lexa. You're always hungry, and you haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon."

"I don't want it, Clarke."

The blonde was taken aback by the ferocity of Lexa's tone, and she wondered what the hell was going on with the other girl. She knew that the brunette was upset at being chained up in here, but she would've thought that Lexa might have at least been happy to see food. Clarke eyed Lexa carefully, knowing that something had to be wrong if the other girl was refusing to eat, but she knew that she would never know for sure what was wrong unless she asked. The warrior was a pro at hiding her emotions when she wanted to.

"Alright, Lexa, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, Clarke." Lexa scowled. "I am simply not feeling like eating."

Clarke was already shaking her head before the other girl even finished speaking. "That's not you, Lexa. You normally have a good appetite."

"You don't even know me, Clarke," Lexa snarled, and Clarke was taken aback by the fire that she saw in those pretty green eyes.

Hurt flooded through Clarke at Lexa's words. She liked to think that she knew Lexa very well by now. They were practically dating, after all. However, maybe she really didn't know the brunette as well as she thought she did. Or maybe, Lexa was just upset about whatever it was that was making her want to refuse to eat.

"Please, Lexa," Clarke tried one more time, wanting to get to the bottom of this before Samson came up here and kicked her out.

Lexa's jaw clenched, and Clarke's heart sunk when she realized that Lexa was going to refuse again, but she was pleasantly surprised when the other girl sighed and answered, "Fine. I am upset because I thought that I made a good member of Skaikru, and now I'm not so sure anymore."

"Please don't beat yourself up over this," Clarke said with a frown. "Not everybody can be perfect at something on the first go. We've all gotten in trouble before, and the people I was sent down here with screwed up so badly that their lives weren't valued as much as the rest of our people's. You have to allow yourself the time to learn how to be a part of a culture that you weren't raised in. You're going to mess up. You can't be perfect, but it's okay."

Lexa didn't look as if she believed the blonde. "I have been with you for long enough now that I shouldn't have just reverted back to the ways of my people the minute that I got mad. I should be thinking like one of you by now."

"No, Lexa, you shouldn't. It has got to be hard to remember that things are different here," Clarke sighed, realizing that she wasn't really getting anywhere with Lexa. "Either way, there's no need to starve yourself. You're already being punished enough by being in here."

The warrior looked at Clarke for a long moment before nodding in approval, and the blonde couldn't help but sigh in relief. She had been worried that Lexa might still refuse, and she wanted nothing more than for Lexa to be okay. She had never seen her upset like this, not even when the brunette was injured, and she was surprised that something as trivial as one mistake was enough to bring on this mood.

She held a strip of meat up to Lexa's lips then, and Lexa looked up at her in shock. "You are going to feed me?"

Clarke should've known that this would be a problem, but she honestly hadn't even thought of it. Lexa hadn't wanted Clarke to feed her even when she had been injured, so of course, she wouldn't want that now. Especially now that she was upset. Still, Clarke was intent on getting her to eat. "You can't exactly feed yourself right now."

"Can't you undo my hands for a few moments so that I may eat?" Lexa's voice was starting to take on an almost pleading tone.

Clarke wished with everything inside of her that she could say yes. She was almost tempted to just do it anyway. "Apparently, Bellamy has given strict orders that you are not to be untied."

Anger sparked in Lexa's eyes. "And why should you have to listen to him?"

"Because everyone else agrees with him. We don't have a set leader here that everyone has to follow. Bellamy only has the authority that he does around here because he has so many people backing him. He's good at catering to the needs of a group of prisoners."

"That seems unfair."

"It is," Clarke agreed, "but when everyone agrees with it, for some reason, it becomes fair. Just please let me feed you, Lexa. It's only me."

Lexa nodded reluctantly, and Clarke sighed in relief, bringing a strip of meat up to Lexa's mouth. She continued in this manner until Lexa had eaten all of the food, clearly feeling hungry, despite her earlier protestations that she wasn't. When she was finished, Clarke was happy to see the content expression on her face, even if she wasn't quite smiling. The two of them remained in a comfortable silence for a few moments, and Clarke wished that it could stretch on forever. She knew that the minute it shattered, Lexa would go back to being upset over her mistake from yesterday. It seemed that Lexa found her way back there on her own, though.

"Clarke?" Lexa called the blonde's attention back to her face. "Will you bring me my coat and braid my hair the way that it was?"

"What?" Clarke was taken aback. "I thought that you liked our clothing material better."

"I did. I was fine with wearing Skaikru clothes before, but now I just…" Lexa trailed off. "I just want to keep up some semblance of dignity while I'm in here."

Clarke feared that she knew exactly what Lexa had been about to say, but she didn't dare ask. If she was right, she didn't want to know. She asked a different question instead. "Are you sure you're going to be alright in here?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?" Lexa asked bitterly. "I'm basically a prisoner."

"You're not a prisoner, Lex," Clarke said softly.

The brunette's shoulders slumped. "I know."

Clarke climbed down the ladder again to go and grab the clothes that she had found Lexa in, which had long since been washed. She knew that she was going to have a bone to pick with the guard because she would have to untie Lexa in order for her to get changed, and she only hoped that it wouldn't be too much of a hassle to get him to agree. She was prepared for the worst, so she was pleasantly surprised when she went downstairs to see that Monty was now on guard duty, even if she was slightly confused. "What are you doing here?"

"Samson's taking a break to have lunch," Monty explained. "He asked me if I could fill in for him."

"Lexa wants to wear her old clothes again, and Samson was pretty adamant that I don't untie her. How long do you think I have until he comes back?"

"You should have at least twenty minutes. He just left."

Clarke nodded in satisfaction. "Excellent."

The blonde hurried into her tent to grab Lexa's clothes, which had been stashed in the corner. Clarke had almost forgotten about them, and she thought that Lexa probably had, too. She only wished that the brunette hadn't been forced to remember.

When Clarke reentered the dropship and made her way to the second floor, she wished that she didn't cringe at the way Lexa's eyes brightened at the sight of her old clothes. She wasn't even sure why she did it. She was getting so used to Lexa being one of her people that she had almost forgotten that the warrior wasn't. She tried not to think about it, moving to untie Lexa's hands instead, causing the brunette to give her a curious look.

"Samson went on a lunch break, so Monty is on guard now," Clarke explained. "You should have a few minutes to get changed."

"Thank you, Clarke," Lexa breathed out in relief.

The minute that Lexa's hands were free, her knees almost buckled, but she righted herself before she could fall to the ground. Clarke admired her strength, knowing that she herself would've fallen right to the floor after being tied up for so long. However, she could still see the strain that remaining upright was putting on the other girl. "Why don't you sit down and rest for a little bit?"

Clarke could already see it in Lexa's eyes that she was going to argue, so she cut the warrior off before she could. "I can braid your hair while we're sitting. It'll be easier for me to reach that way."

Lexa nodded and sat down while the blonde did the same. The brunette made sure that she was facing away from Clarke as the Sky Girl began to comb her fingers through brown hair, hoping that she would remember the exact pattern that Lexa used to wear. As she wove Lexa's hair into braids, Clarke realized that this might take longer than she'd expected, and she wondered if she should've let Lexa get changed first. The answer was probably yes, but she was also glad to be giving the other girl a moment to rest her legs, which had to be aching by now.

When she was finished, Clarke simply held Lexa close to her in silence for a moment. She had forgotten how dignified and menacing the braids made Lexa look, keeping her hair pulled back from her face in their intricate patterns. Clarke had gotten so used to Lexa's hair framing her face in gentle waves, and she wasn't sure how she felt about the other girl going back to her old look. She understood why the brunette wanted it, but she still wished that Lexa didn't feel the need to look menacing here.

All too soon, Lexa was pushing out of Clarke's lap and peeling her clothes off, and the blonde fought the urge to look away. She could feel the heat rise to her cheeks immediately, and she tried to fight off the blush to no avail. She had seen Lexa naked countless times, when Lexa had bathed in her tent when she had been injured and when the two of them had bathed in the river together. She didn't think that the sight had ever hit her quite this hard, though, which was ridiculous, since Lexa was still wearing her bra and underwear right now. Still, Clarke couldn't help but want to lean forward and press her lips to a patch of bare skin, and she wondered if it were possible that her feelings for Lexa had grown that much so quickly.

The blonde watched in silence as the other girl pulled on her old clothes, completing the menacing warrior look that the braids had been the start of. Without those clothes, Lexa had just been a girl, making it easy for Clarke to forget about the warrior that she actually was. She couldn't say that she wasn't attracted to the warrior look, but she wasn't sure how she felt about the responsibilities that came with that title. With her people, there weren't any warriors. Her people never settled things by fighting. She shuddered as she tried not to think about how her people's tactic of floating people was probably even more barbaric. Still, the warrior lifestyle was one that could lead to serious injury and also death. Clarke wasn't sure that she wanted Lexa taking those risks, even though it wasn't her choice to make.

She was shaken out of her thoughts when she saw a grin spread across Lexa's face at the sight of herself in her coat again. Clarke wasn't sure how she felt about that at first, but she quickly realized that it just felt good to see Lexa smiling so widely. She thought that that was the first smile that she had seen out of the other girl all day, and it was a nice change from Lexa's sullen mood from earlier.

"How do I look?" Lexa asked with bright eyes.

"Like a warrior," Clarke said truthfully.

The blonde hadn't thought it possible, but Lexa smiled even brighter at the news. The sight even brought a smile to Clarke's face this time. However, these smiles didn't last long, falling away immediately when Samson's head appeared through the hole in the floor. "I specifically told you not to release her. Are you deaf? Tie her back up right now."

"Calm down." Clarke rolled her eyes. "I was only letting her change clothes. It's not like I was letting her go or anything."

"I don't care what you think you were doing," Samson said. "Tie her back up."

Clarke actually allowed herself to hear his instructions this time, and she looked helplessly at Lexa. She didn't want to be the one to tie Lexa up in the ropes that she clearly hated so much. She didn't even think that she could do it, so she turned back to Samson with pleading blue eyes. "Can you please do it?"

That's when she realized that he wasn't trying to punish her by making her do it and that he wasn't following Bellamy's orders just to be cruel. She could now see the fear in his eyes, and everything clicked. "I don't want that Grounder tearing me to bits. Just tie her back up quickly before we get in trouble with Bellamy."

"I can't do that to her, but I'll stay right here while you do it," Clarke offered. "She won't hurt you if I tell her not to."

Samson didn't move or answer as he stared expectantly at Clarke, clearly waiting for something.

"What is it now?" she asked.

"Tell her not to," he said impatiently.

Clarke tried her best not to laugh as she turned to Lexa, glad that the mood had been lightened slightly by Samson's cowardice. "Please don't hurt Samson while he ties your hands."

A small smile appeared on Lexa's lips. "I will try my best not to, but sometimes, we Grounders do get hungry for a little Sky Boy."

Samson scowled when he realized that they were only playing with him, and he crossed the room much more easily, grabbing Lexa's hands and securing them in the ropes that were attached to the walls of the dropship. When Samson moved away from Lexa, Clarke turned to go, too, but not before shooting a questioning look over her shoulder, silently asking Lexa again if she was really going to be all right in here. Lexa gave her a confident nod, her green eyes looking much more lively than they had when Clarke had first seen her.

* * *

Two days later, Clarke was just entering camp after having been on patrol when she saw Raven coming over to her with wide eyes and a worried expression. The blonde was slightly puzzled as to what might be the source of her friend's distress, but she thought that it had to be urgent. She shoved the rabbit that she had caught into Miller's hands before hurrying over to meet her friend.

"What is it?" she asked immediately.

"I just saw Murphy heading into the dropship," Raven explained hurriedly. "He was sneaking like he was trying to be subtle, but I saw him. He was carrying a whip, and I know for a fact that Dax is on guard duty."

Blue eyes widened to match Raven's brown ones, and then Clarke was hurrying towards the dropship without even bothering to respond, with Raven trailing after her. The blonde might have been avoiding Lexa yesterday, but that didn't mean that she didn't still care about her. It only meant that she needed some space to think about what Lexa had insinuated two days ago.

She was just entering the dropship when she heard Lexa scream, and the blood began to boil in her veins as she climbed up the ladder. The second scream was the last one because Clarke was across the room and snatching the whip from Murphy's hands before he even had a chance to react. She let her anger get the better of her for a moment as she lashed out at him, the whip tearing into his chest as he himself cried out in pain and surprise.

"Relax, bitch," he spat. "I barely even broke your stupid girlfriend's skin."

"You're not allowed to hurt her at all." Clarke was fuming. "Bellamy gave orders that no one was to touch her."

"Yeah, well, I thought she deserved a bit of a harsher punishment for what she did to me." Murphy gestured to his bruised face and black eye.

Clarke took a threatening step forward. "Stay the fuck away from her. Just because she wasn't born one of us doesn't mean you get to treat her like an animal. I'd kill you myself if she didn't need me."

"Fine. You know what? I don't want to be around a bitch like her anyways," he snarled.

Murphy was trying to be tough, but Clarke could see right through his act. He was afraid of her, and she was slightly impressed with herself that she was able to have such an effect on him. He was gone before Clarke could say anything else, and part of her wanted to go after him and give him the punishment she knew he deserved, but blue eyes softened when they landed on Lexa. She would deal with Murphy later.

"Raven, go get her something to eat," Clarke called over her shoulder as she took Lexa's cheeks in her hands.

"Okay, Clarke," Raven agreed immediately.

The blonde could hear the mechanic's retreating footsteps, but she couldn't tear her gaze away from the girl in front of her. She didn't seem to be in too much pain. She seemed more ashamed if anything. Green eyes hadn't left the ground since Clarke and Raven had entered.

"Lexa, are you okay?" Clarke asked softly.

Lexa's eyes finally came up to meet Clarke's. "No. But I will feel much better once I am dressed again."

It was only then that it registered to Clarke that Murphy had removed Lexa's coat and shirt in order to have better access to her back. He obviously would've had to untie her while doing so, and it made Clarke sick to think about what that implied. "You didn't even try to run?"

"I thought that Bellamy had changed his mind about this being my only punishment," Lexa admitted. "I thought he had sent Murphy to whip me because that is what he told me. I didn't want to assume wrong again and get more days added to my sentence."

Clarke swallowed thickly, trying to push down the sorrow that rose up in her heart at Lexa's answer. Lexa truly didn't understand the way that some things worked here, and Murphy thought that it was alright to walk all over her because of it. Clarke knew that they needed to do something about that asshole before he hurt Lexa anymore. She was determined to make sure that he was given fair punishment this time. She tried her best to keep her rising anger out of her voice when she responded to Lexa, but she knew that she didn't exactly succeed. "No, Lexa. Even if Bellamy had changed his mind, it wouldn't have mattered. He already made a promise to me that no harm was to come to you. If anyone ever tries to hurt you again, even if it's Bellamy, you run. Do you hear me? Bellamy is not in charge here."

Lexa nodded. "I understand, Clarke."

"Can I look at your wounds now?" Clarke asked, finally releasing her hold on Lexa's cheeks.

The brunette simply nodded, and Clarke moved to untie her wrists before lowering the brunette down to the ground. The cuts were shallow. Like Murphy had said, he had barely broken the skin, and Clarke tried to at least be thankful for that. It didn't do much to quell her anger with the boy though. Clarke reached for a healing poultice that had remained up here since Octavia had used it to heal Lincoln, pouring some out onto her hand before gently beginning to rub it into the shallow wounds on Lexa's back. The brunette sighed at the feel of the poultice, her wounds clearly already being soothed, and that helped Clarke's anger to ebb a little bit for the time being. She wanted to be able to focus on Lexa right now and nothing else. Once she was satisfied with her work on the wounds, Clarke bandaged them up lightly. She knew that these wounds wouldn't need bandages for long, but she wanted to make sure that they weren't constantly rubbing up against the coarser material of Lexa's shirt and coat.

Once she was finished, Clarke gestured for Lexa to stand, unable to say anything. She was still angry at Murphy for what he had done to Lexa, but she was even angrier at herself for allowing it to happen. She should've known that Murphy might try something like this, and she should've made it clear with Bellamy that none of Murphy's friends should have been allowed to be on guard duty. A small part of her couldn't help but think that this was all her fault, even though she knew that Lexa didn't blame her for it. That part of Clarke almost wished that she would.

Lexa didn't say anything, though, as Clarke helped her back into her shirt and coat, dressing silently as Clarke's emotions turned her mind into a battlefield. Now, Clarke felt terrible for not bringing any of Lexa's meals to her yesterday. She just hadn't been able to face her after what she thought the brunette had been implying in their conversation two days ago. She knew what Lexa was thinking, and she didn't want the warrior to go back to a life of danger where she could get hurt. She knew better now, though.

Lexa was already getting hurt here.

Clarke pulled Lexa in for a hug, wishing that she could shield her from the rest of the world, wishing that the brunette might forgive her for the mistakes she didn't even know the Sky Girl had made yet. Clarke had promised that she would argue with Bellamy so that Lexa might have less time, and she hadn't. She was also supposed to be the one to bring Lexa all of her meals, but she had asked Raven and Octavia to do it all day yesterday and this morning, claiming that she wanted them to be able to spend time with Lexa as well. Clarke was being selfish by avoiding the warrior, and she was being even more selfish in not arguing with Bellamy, but she didn't want Lexa to ever leave her, and she knew that…well, she—

"Food's here," Raven announced as she entered the room, causing Clarke to jump slightly as she was jolted from her thoughts.

Lexa disentangled herself from Clarke and accepted the food gratefully, mumbling a quick thank you as she began to eat it, clearly feeling hungry.

"I'm really sorry about what happened, Lexa," Raven said. "Murphy's a real asshole."

"That's not your fault," Lexa was quick to say. "Besides, I'm sure that he will receive a real punishment now for going against orders."

Raven nodded in confirmation. "I'll make sure of it."

Lexa thanked Raven again, and then the mechanic was gone, clearly sensing that Clarke and Lexa needed a moment alone. Clarke simply watched Lexa sit on the ground and eat for several long moments, unable to bring herself to say anything. Lexa remained silent as well, preoccupied with her lunch and clearly sensing that Clarke had something she needed to say, if the way that she kept looking up expectantly at the blonde at regular intervals was any indication.

"I'm sorry that I haven't been bringing your meals to you lately," Clarke said. "I promise I'll start again tomorrow if I don't get whisked away on patrol."

"So you have been avoiding me," Lexa noted in an eerily calm tone of voice.

"It's not just that," Clarke said, feeling extremely guilty and needing to get everything off of her chest. "I didn't talk to Bellamy again about shortening your sentence either."

"I figured as much," Lexa said stiffly, sending the blonde girl a glare.

Clarke hung her head, unable to look into those betrayed green eyes for a single second longer. "I'm sorry. I didn't do it to hurt you. You know that."

"I know why you did it, Clarke," Lexa said, her tone still tense. "You knew that I suddenly wanted my old clothes back because—"

"Because you were thinking about returning to your people," Clarke finished for her. "I know. I didn't want to shorten your sentence because I wanted you to stay here with me longer, but I knew it was wrong. That's why I couldn't face you. I knew that you would see right through it if I tried to lie."

"You shouldn't have had to lie," Lexa snapped. "You should have stuck to your word like any woman of honor would."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing."

Not knowing what else to say, Clarke just kept her eyes trained on the ground when Lexa didn't respond. She couldn't bear to look at Lexa right now after doing something so stupid because she knew that the other girl would be upset. She had a right to be. The only sound that broke the deafening silence was the sound of Lexa chewing as she ate the rest of her meal.

After several minutes, Clarke heard the sound of Lexa sucking her fingers clean followed by the sound of the other girl's beautiful voice. "It is nice to be able to eat by myself."

Clarke only nodded as she tentatively raised her head, not knowing what else to say. She was slightly relieved when she saw the way that green eyes softened. "Clarke, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I was just feeling frustrated, but it is not really that big of a deal."

The blonde shook her head. "No, you were right to be frustrated. I was acting like an idiot."

Lexa chuckled gently. "You may have been acting like an idiot, but it is alright. Bellamy most likely would have said no, no matter how much you begged him. We both know how foolish he behaves, and you are clearly not going to avoid me anymore. Don't worry about it."

"Does that mean…?" Clarke trailed off, not even daring to hope.

"That I'm staying here with your people?" Lexa asked, reading Clarke's mind. "I'm thinking about it."

A smile spread across Clarke's face as she took the little bit of hope that she was given from that statement. Lexa returned it, although not as wide, before pulling Clarke down onto the ground beside her and shifting to settle in between the Sky Girl's legs, her back pressed to Clarke's front. She gently pulled Clarke's arms around her waist to rest on top of her stomach before putting her hands over the blonde's, and Clarke sighed at the feeling of the other girl against her, now that the brunette had seemingly forgiven her.

"Lexa, are you sure that we—"

"We're fine, Clarke," Lexa whispered. "Just hold me."

So Clarke ignored the fact that she should probably have someone tie Lexa up again, ignored her anger at Murphy for his behavior that day, ignored the slight guilt she still felt for the way that she had been acting, and just held the beautiful girl in her arms. She just let it be her and Lexa for the time being, easily losing sense of the rest of the world, and she wondered how it was possible for one girl to make her feel so much.

* * *

Clarke awoke to the sound of footsteps coming from somewhere below her. She blinked open her eyes to see the walls of the dropship surrounding her, and she realized that she must have accidentally dozed off while sitting on the ground with Lexa. The other girl was still awake, though, just resting against Clarke while the blonde slept better than she had for the past two nights.

Seconds later, Bellamy appeared, and Clarke braced herself for him to yell at her for not tying Lexa back up. She relaxed slightly when she realized that he didn't look particularly mad, but she kept her gaze hardened, knowing that she had every right to be angry after what Murphy had done. She had to fight to keep a smile off of her face when she saw him hang his head.

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier," he muttered. "Murphy was out of line, and I will punish him accordingly this time."

"Is that an apology I hear?" Clarke asked with mock-surprise. "From Bellamy Blake?"

He nodded his head in answer. "I promised you that she wouldn't get hurt. I didn't mean to break it."

"I know you didn't," Clarke acknowledged, "but you still owe me."

For a moment, she thought he was going to harden up again, and she wondered if she might have been pushing her luck by making demands. She didn't care, though. He wasn't the one who called the shots around here, and she wasn't going to back down to him now.

"Clarke, she still has to serve her full punishment," he finally said.

"Okay, fine," Clarke relented, "but she gets to be released when she eats, and I get to sleep up here with her tonight. Those are my terms."

"Deal," he said easily, and the blonde couldn't help it as her eyebrows shot up in surprise. "She can be untied as long as someone is up here with her, and you can stay with her tonight. But only for tonight."

"Thank you." Clarke felt like that was the only thing that she could say. She was still in shock at how easy it had been to get her way. She wondered what the catch was. She had thought for sure that she would have to bribe him or at least beg a little. However, it didn't seem like there was a catch at all. Maybe, he really did feel bad about what had happened up here today. She knew that he didn't care at all about Lexa, but he clearly cared about Clarke.

"For now, she needs to be tied up again," he said gently, as if he expected Clarke to argue again.

She knew that she had already gotten a lot of slack with Bellamy, though, and she already had a plan in the making to twist his words, so she agreed with him for now. "I know, but I don't like to be the one to do it. Will you tie her?"

He nodded, and he moved to easily tie Lexa back up, the brunette cooperating. The blonde wished that she didn't have to watch, but she knew that Lexa wouldn't be tied up for much longer if she had anything to say about it. Her plan was already formulating quite nicely indeed.

* * *

As the rest of the day dragged on, Clarke didn't think that night would ever come, but when it finally did, she said a quick goodbye to her friends and hurried off to the dropship. Lexa's eyes instantly brightened when she saw the Sky Girl, knowing that she would not be tied up for much longer. Clarke wished that Bellamy wouldn't have punished her so harshly at all, but she only had two more days. Plus, Clarke still had a plan in her mind for tomorrow, and she came with the best news tonight.

"Guess what, Lexa?" Clarke asked as she worked on untying the ropes from around Lexa's wrists.

The brunette's eyebrows furrowed adorably. "What is it, Clarke?"

"Bellamy kept his word on giving Murphy a fair punishment." Clarke found it hard to keep the grin off of her face. "He's been banished from the camp, and Dax got banished with him. They're finally gone."

"I hope my people give them the treatment they deserve, should they find them," Lexa said, sounding happy but also like someone who hadn't slept in a while.

"You tired?" Clarke asked as she sank down to sit on the floor, pulling Lexa down with her.

The brunette nodded. "Very much so. It is exhausting work, standing in one place all day."

"Especially when you recently recovered from near-death injuries." Clarke found it impossible to keep the scathing tone out of her voice, letting the other girl know just what she thought about the continuance of this punishment.

"I am fine, Clarke," Lexa answered truthfully.

"But you're still not sure if you're staying," Clarke said, catching Lexa by surprise.

A few moments passed in which Lexa didn't answer, and Clarke felt like her heart was going to beat out of her chest. She wondered if she had overstepped some kind of boundary by bringing this issue up again so soon. She wished with all of her heart that Lexa would tell her she was wrong, but the other girl had already been silent too long for that to be the case.

"Yes, Clarke," Lexa finally said. "I know that you do not wish for me to go, but my people may need me. I am not so sure anymore that I was cut out for this life, after all."

Clarke nodded in acceptance this time, knowing that it was not her choice to make and that she needed to be there for Lexa, no matter what she chose. "I'm sorry for avoiding you because of that. It was a dick move."

Lexa cocked her head to the side, clearly not understanding the way in which Clarke had said it, so she clarified. "A horrible thing to do. I won't make that mistake again."

"I've already forgiven you," Lexa said easily.

"Why?" Clarke asked, needing to know the reason.

"Because you are too important to let go of over one stupid mistake."

Clarke felt her heart begin to melt at the care in green eyes and the surety with which Lexa had said those words. "Thank you. I probably don't deserve you, but I really care about you, too."

"I am glad," Lexa said immediately, a small smile touching her lips.

It was the first smile that Clarke had seen since she had gotten up here tonight, the brunette having not even smiled when she had heard the news about Murphy. Clarke was overjoyed that she was the one who made Lexa smile, and she couldn't help but lean forward to press her lips against the other girl's. As much as she wished that she could stay there like that for the rest of the night, Clarke kept the kiss chaste, pulling back long before either of them was ready because she knew that Lexa was tired. If she was being honest, so was she, so she laid down, gently pulling Lexa's head down to rest against her chest.

Lexa was almost instantly pulling back, shooting the blonde a disapproving look. "No, Clarke. I will not use you as a pillow while you lie on the hard ground."

Clarke rolled her eyes, reaching out to grab a spare jacket that was lying a few feet away and fashioning it into a pillow beneath her head before looking back up at Lexa. "Better?"

Lexa raised an eyebrow at her, but Clarke only raised one back, gesturing pointedly to her chest. For a few seconds, it looked as if Lexa was going to argue again, but then she just sighed, doing what Clarke had asked as the blonde's hand came to rest on her waist. Lexa burrowed her head into Clarke's chest, clearly enjoying the feeling now that she had finally allowed herself to feel it. Clarke pulled her even closer, and she sighed again, but this time, it was a sigh of contentment. "I have missed sleeping with you."

"I missed it, too," Clarke whispered against Lexa's hair. "So much. It was hard for me to sleep without you."

"It was hard for me to sleep at all," Lexa said with a laugh.

There was nothing really funny about it, and they both knew it, but somehow, tonight, it was funny all the same. It managed to get a smile out of Clarke, at least, or perhaps that was simply brought on by the sound of Lexa's laugh. Clarke didn't want to fall asleep yet because she wanted to make sure that Lexa got to sleep first. She knew that the brunette had to have been even more sleep-deprived than her, especially since she hadn't shared in Clarke's earlier nap.

The blonde busied herself with running her hands through Lexa's long brunette curls, trying to help her fall asleep with the motion. It was working, if the way that Lexa's breathing was growing heavier by the second was any indication. She couldn't tell, though, whether she was providing more comfort to the girl in her arms with the motion or herself. She had definitely missed the feeling of the other girl's silky locks in hers in the short time that they had been apart. Only when Clarke was sure that Lexa had drifted off to sleep did she finally allow herself to follow, resting her cheek against the top of the warrior's head.

* * *

"So, how have you been doing, Lexa?" Jasper asked as he and Monty settled in to sit with her while she ate her lunch.

"Much better now that I am not tied up," Lexa admitted.

When Lexa had woken up that morning tangled up in Clarke, the blonde had shared her plan with Lexa to make sure that she or one of her friends was with the brunette all day so that she could remain untied. Bellamy had said she could be released whenever someone was with her, and so Clarke had clearly resolved to take advantage of that statement. Lexa herself could not have been happier about the arrangement. She might have still been confined to the second floor of the dropship, but anything was better than having to remain in the same position all day.

When Clarke had left that morning to go out on border patrol, Raven and Octavia had come upstairs to spend time with Lexa, and now, it seemed that Jasper and Monty had been tasked with bringing the warrior lunch. Lexa wasn't sure if she was happier to see the boys or the food because she was feeling hungry by now, but she had to admit that the boys were good company. Lexa smiled as she ate, feeling proud of Clarke for her manipulation of Bellamy's words. The blonde girl was definitely a quick thinker, Lexa would give her that.

"I'm sorry to hear about what happened with Murphy yesterday," Monty said. "He was completely out of line."

"And he was banished." Lexa shrugged. "He got the punishment that he deserved."

"I suppose he did." Monty nodded. The boy was silent for a moment before speaking again. "It's nice to see that you and Clarke are on speaking terms again. She's clearly not avoiding you anymore."

Lexa was about to nod when Jasper asked, "What happened?"

Green eyes looked at the boys warily as Lexa wondered whether or not she should tell them the truth. She knew that she could trust both of them to keep quiet about her internal struggle, but she wasn't sure how they would take it. She didn't want them to feel betrayed. Then again, they would probably feel more betrayed if she just sprung it on them once she had decided.

"I am thinking about going back to my people." She tried to ignore the way that their eyes widened in shock. "When Clarke realized that, she started sending other people up with my meals instead of coming up here herself. I think she just needed some space to come to terms with the fact that I may not be here much longer."

"Why not?" Jasper asked. "I thought you would practically do anything to be one of us."

Lexa found that she was suddenly on the defensive, and she didn't know why. "Weren't you the one who was saying that I was running from my responsibilities? You were right. My people probably need me."

"You think that you're not running from your responsibilities here, too? Tell me, Lexa, do you always run when things get hard?" The brunette opened her mouth to argue, but Jasper cut her off. "You wanted to become one of us to escape from some duty that you were born into, some duty that you made seem like the worst thing in the world, but the minute that you realize that life with us might not be as easy as you thought, you want to go back? I'm not trying to tell you what to do here. If you think that you need to go back to your own people, then don't let me stand in your way. Just decide on what you want to do, and stick with it."

Lexa found herself speechless for a few moments as she took in all that Jasper had said. For a boy with a usually goofy nature, he was pretty smart. Maybe she was letting herself get too discouraged by the mistakes that she had made. Clarke was right. Nobody was perfect, and maybe it was finally time for Lexa to stop being so hard on herself.

"I want to be one of your people, but I am not sure that I will ever fully understand your ways," Lexa admitted.

"Then, we'll help you learn," Jasper said. "If you really want to stay here, then don't let one little mistake stand in your way. Learn to be one of us. Commit to it. Don't run."

Lexa couldn't help the small smile that began to spread its way across her face at those words. "You're right. I wanted to be one of the Sky People, and so I should stick to it. Maybe I just need to try harder."

"Just be you, Lexa," Monty told her. "That's the most important part of being one of us."

* * *

Jasper and Monty sat with Lexa for several hours, wanting to wait for Clarke to bring Lexa her dinner in the evening. Lexa had just been telling them of her training with her mentor, though she didn't mention the older woman by name, when the hatch that led downstairs opened. Lexa's stomach rumbled, expecting it to be Clarke with the food, but her eyes widened when she saw who actually appeared. It was Bellamy, and he didn't even look remotely happy. She gulped.

"What the hell are you doing?" He addressed the two boys who were still sitting beside her.

"Sitting up here with Lexa." Jasper tried to sound confident, but his voice came out sounding rather shaky.

"She's supposed to remain tied up at all times, save during meals," Bellamy growled.

"Actually, Clarke told us that you said it was alright for her to remain free as long as someone was up here with her," Monty corrected, sounding much more confident than his friend.

A scowl spread across Bellamy's face at the news. "That's not what I meant, and all of you know it. Let me guess, you guys have been helping Clarke out with this all day, haven't you? Raven probably lent a hand and my sister, too. That girl hasn't been tied up since yesterday, has she?"

At that moment, Clarke appeared with the food in hand, and it was clear that she had heard a good amount of the conversation. "As you've probably already guessed, it was all my idea, so don't take it out on them. You really did say that she was allowed to be freed as long as someone was up here with her, though, so I don't see how any of us can be punished."

"She is allowed to be freed during meals and no other times," Bellamy corrected. "I wasn't aware that I was so unclear. I certainly didn't expect my words to be manipulated like that. Either way, she needs to be tied up again right now, and, Clarke, you're going to be the one to do it."

The smug smile that had previously adorned Clarke's face disappeared in an instant. "What? Why?"

"You know why." Bellamy gave her a stern look.

"But she hasn't eaten yet," Clarke protested weakly.

"Tonight, she's eating while tied up. We'll leave you two alone while you do it, but that's it. You have five minutes."

With that, Bellamy turned and left the room, Jasper and Monty shooting Clarke apologetic looks before following after him. Once the three of them were gone, Lexa moved over to stand right in front of Clarke, cupping the Sky Girl's cheeks. "I will be okay, Clarke. I understand why you do not wish to be the one to do this, and I would do it myself if I could, but unfortunately, I require your help. Remember that it is only for one more night."

Clarke took a deep breath and nodded, following Lexa over to the place where she had been standing for the majority of the past three days. The blonde looked to Lexa one more time, and the brunette nodded, urging the other girl on. Clarke swallowed thickly as she tied one of the ropes around Lexa's wrist, albeit rather loosely. Lexa would have no problem pulling out of it.

"Clarke," Lexa said in a disapproving tone. "Let's not get into trouble when I only have one day of punishment left. Tie it tight."

"I don't want to hurt you," Clarke argued.

"You won't," Lexa promised. "Just please do this right. I am a warrior, remember?"

That brought a tiny smile to Clarke's face, and she retied the knot, tightly this time before moving over to do the same on the other side. Lexa gave the ropes a few experimental tugs to make sure that she couldn't get free before nodding in satisfaction. Clarke moved to get the plate of food from where she had left it on the ground, clearly feeling much better now that that was done. She began feeding Lexa's meat to her strip by strip, and Lexa made sure not to complain at the fact that she was being fed. She didn't want to upset Clarke further than she had already been at having to tie Lexa up. Lexa knew that she had news that could cheer Clarke up in a heartbeat, but she wanted to wait until after her food was gone.

Bellamy had poked his head in to make sure that Lexa was tied up again, both girls ignoring him, but luckily, he didn't stay. The biggest grin broke out on Lexa's face when she had finished her meal, knowing that Clarke would be delighted to hear her news.

"What's got you so smiley?" Clarke asked, unable to fight off a smile of her own.

"I had a very enlightening conversation with Jasper earlier, and I've decided that I'm going to stay here with your people."

Clarke looked up at Lexa in awe, and the brunette could see the hope that was clearly present in blue eyes. "You're staying?"

Lexa nodded confidently. "I wanted to be Skaikru, and I'm going to follow through with that decision."

Clarke let out a happy laugh, and Lexa couldn't hold back a chuckle of her own when the blonde's lips landed on hers. The kiss was immediately heated, both girls wanting to display their happiness and their immense feelings for each other through it. Lexa tugged on her ropes, wanting nothing more than to tangle her fingers in blond hair. She couldn't, however, and she was surprised to find that having her hands restrained was slightly turning her on. Clarke wrapped her arms fully around Lexa's waist, pulling her impossibly closer, and the brunette couldn't wait until she could start spending almost all of her time with Clarke again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I've been saying this for the past couple of updates now, but I'm sorry again for the wait! I thought that it would be easier to write now that summer's here, but between working hanging out with friends, and going on dates with my girlfriend, it's been much busier than I expected. So this time, I am not going to promise faster updates because I'm not sure I will be able to keep that promise, but I will try my best to start getting updates out a little faster. Thank you all for your patience, and I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

The next day, Clarke was in much better spirits than she had been since Lexa had been punished for attacking Murphy. After giving Lexa her dinner, the blonde practically skipped out of the dropship, willing to go on whatever patrols needed her because she knew that Lexa was being released that night. She couldn't wait to have Lexa back around camp again, and more importantly, she couldn't wait to start sharing her tent with the other girl again. Even though the tent was rather small, it had begun to seem much too big to Clarke, and she didn't ever want to spend another night not curled up against the warrior or with the warrior not curled up against her. Clarke still found it hard to believe that Lexa really wanted to remain with her people, but the blonde was going to make sure that the other girl was a great member of the Sky People this time.

Her happy mood was, of course, shot to pieces the moment that she realized that there were Grounders approaching the camp.

As more and more of the Sky People stopped what they were doing to see what the commotion was about, the guards at the gate relayed that Anya was leading the group and that she had six warriors with her. That's when Clarke knew that something was up. Last time, the older woman had only brought two. The blonde was about to give orders for the people around her to grab their weapons, thinking that Anya might be trying to lead a small-scale attack on their camp, but the Grounder announced that she came in peace before Clarke could open her mouth.

"I'll meet her outside," Bellamy said immediately, appearing beside Clarke. "There's no way I'm letting those warriors into our camp."

Clarke grabbed his arm to stop him. "I agree that we shouldn't let the warriors inside our camp, but it should be me that talks to her. I was the one who talked to her both times before."

Bellamy looked like he was about to argue, unsurprisingly, so Clarke fixed him with the sternest look that she could possibly muster. She was slightly surprised when he reluctantly nodded, gesturing for her to go meet Anya at the gate. She hadn't thought in a million years that he would relent and actually let her take charge of something, and she wondered if he still felt bad about what had happened with Murphy or if it was something else.

All eyes were on Clarke as she walked through the camp, nodding in thanks when the gate was opened for her. She didn't mind the open scrutiny, though. She could see that Anya was standing a fair distance away from the camp so as not to be overheard by everyone within its walls. When Clarke got closer to the other blonde, she knew that her suspicions were correct. She could tell that something was amiss when she saw the look of what could only be described as apprehension in brown eyes.

"Clarke, thank you for agreeing to see me again." Anya dipped her head politely, her tone formal with no trace of hostility.

Something was definitely wrong.

"What's this about?" Clarke asked carefully, unsure if she wanted to know the answer.

"I have come to see if you had acquired any news about our Commander. The matter has great importance."

Clarke shook her head, releasing a breath she hadn't even known she was holding when she realized that the Grounder still didn't know about Lexa. "I'm sorry, but we haven't seen your Commander or even heard anything about him. I promised you that we'd send for you the moment we did."

"I remember, but it is urgent that we find her soon," Anya pressed on, clearly not willing to let the subject drop this time.

Clarke's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Your Commander is a woman?"

"Yes." Anya nodded brusquely. "But that doesn't matter. What matters is that we find her before it's too late. The Ice Queen has somehow heard of _Heda's_ disappearance, and she is marching on Polis as we speak. She is planning to take over the coalition now that there is no one to lead it."

"And that would be really bad," Clarke guessed. She knew that Lexa didn't like this Ice Queen, and she could also tell by the look on Anya's face that this was someone that the warrior feared.

"If Queen Nia takes over the coalition, it is likely that many of our people will die," Anya stated, her tone not betraying any of the emotions that she was surely feeling.

"Why not just appoint a new Commander?" Clarke asked. "That way, your coalition wouldn't be leaderless, and maybe the Ice Queen would stop."

Anya shook her head in frustration. "That is not the way it works with our people. We need to be absolutely sure that our Commander is dead before appointing a new one because her spirit must choose the next Commander. Besides, I don't think that a new Commander would do much to stop Nia. Our current _Heda_ is fierce, and Nia fears her, no matter how much she acts like she is superior."

Clarke gulped at the thought of this Ice Queen taking over the Grounders' coalition, whatever that was. If Queen Nia was willing to slaughter Grounders who had lived on this earth with her since she had been born, then Clarke's people would most likely be wiped out completely without a second thought from the woman. Suddenly, Clarke found herself a lot more willing to search for this Commander than she had been two minutes ago.

"Okay, what can I do to help find the Commander? And what makes you think that she's still alive, all of a sudden?"

"We've been spending a lot more time at the scene of the explosion lately," Anya admitted. "Judging by the Commander's blood stains on the ground, she was far enough away from the initial explosion that there should have been remains had she died. But there wasn't. Only blood. At first, we thought you had taken her hostage, but I discarded that possibility when you thought that she was male. However, that didn't mean that you had never seen her before. So, tell me, Clarke of the Sky People, do you remember seeing a woman hurry away from the scene before you could reach her?"

Clarke shook her head immediately, knowing that she would have remembered if she had seen something like that. She wondered if it was possible, though, that the woman had actually hurried away before Clarke and her friends had gone down to inspect the damage. Maybe Finn had killed the Commander and hidden the evidence before she went down to join him, Clarke thought bitterly. She just shrugged then. "I didn't see anything, but it's certainly possible. Finn was down there before I was. Maybe he saw something that I didn't. Are you sure that the blood you saw was hers? I mean, there were plenty of people that were injured and bleeding from the explosion. How can you be sure which blood was hers?"

Then, she remembered. Lexa had told her once that the Commander could only be chosen from the people who had black blood because they are the direct descendants of the first Commander. Anya saw the black on the ground and thought that it was the Commander's blood when, in reality, Clarke knew that it had probably been Lexa's blood that the Grounder had seen. She swallowed thickly, feeling the dread start to pool in her stomach when she realized that that meant that the real Commander, the only one who could stop the Ice Queen, was probably dead. Clarke knew that she needed to tell Anya about Lexa, needed to inform the older woman that her hope that the Commander was still alive was probably false. Reluctantly, Clarke opened her mouth, wondering if the Grounders would take Lexa away again, but Anya was already speaking again before Clarke could even get a word out.

"Because we found her shoulder guard right next to it. And we also found this." Anya held out her hand so that Clarke could see the small gold circular symbol that rested in her palm. "The symbol that _Heda_ wears on her forehead."

Blue eyes widened immediately, and Clarke felt like the ground had been yanked out from under her feet. She had seen that symbol before on the day of the explosion. On Lexa's forehead. She shook her head slightly in denial of what all of this meant. _Lexa_ was the Commander. Clarke knew that she couldn't deny it for long, though, because it all made sense. The way that Lexa always talked about a duty that was forced upon her, the way that she wanted to be Skaikru, the way that she wanted to just be Lexa. It all made so much sense now, and Clarke wondered how the hell she hadn't seen it before.

"What does this Commander look like?" Clarke managed to choke out, trying to keep up the pretense that she didn't know who it was.

"Long brown hair with many braids," Anya described. "Green eyes. About your height. She normally wears a long black coat."

That was all the confirmation that Clarke needed, and she wished that her head would stop spinning. "I haven't seen her. I promise that we'll send out search parties, though, and let you know the minute we find her."

Anya gave her a skeptical look, and for a moment, Clarke was afraid that the Grounder wasn't going to buy her lie. A wave of relief washed over her when Anya finally nodded, dipping her head. "I suppose that is all that I can ask for. Thank you."

Clarke only nodded, not even really registering the fact that the warrior had just thanked her. She could barely even get her racing heart to calm down long enough for her to breathe. When Anya turned to leave with one final nod, Clarke spun on her heel and stumbled back in the direction of camp. Had she not been so disoriented, she might have noticed that she was not the only one, besides the warriors, who had witnessed her conversation with Anya, not the only one who had seen the symbol that Anya had held forth. A pair of dark eyes was watching from the trees, but Clarke didn't see them at all.

The gates opened for her, and Clarke hurried back into the camp, schooling her features when she noticed Bellamy walking towards her. She had to resist the urge to scream or throw up. She just wanted to get to the damn dropship. She needed it even. However, she didn't want to raise the suspicion of everyone in the camp, and so she did her best to appear as if she was in no hurry to be anywhere.

"What did she want?" Bellamy asked.

"Same thing as last time," Clarke said nonchalantly. "She's still looking for the Commander, and she's hoping that we'll help her. Apparently, some Ice Queen is coming to take over their capital city, and we're all gonna die if that happens. For some reason, the Commander's the only one who can stop her."

"That's stupid," Bellamy scoffed, "and probably a load of bullshit, too. If we find the Commander, I still say we float him."

Clarke gave Bellamy a stern look, not even bothering to correct him on the gender issue. "We need the Commander right now to defeat this stupid queen. After that, I don't care what you do with him."

Bellamy just glared at Clarke, clearly not believing the existence of the Ice Queen, but the blonde just brushed past him, heading in the direction of the dropship. "I'm going to question Lexa about this Commander of hers and the Ice Queen, too. Maybe then we can get a bit more information."

The boy nodded. "Good idea. Let me know what she says."

As Clarke walked to the dropship, she felt anger finally breaking through her shock. Lexa had been lying to her all this time, and for what? So that she could run away from her responsibilities? She tried not to think about the all too real possibility that everything that had happened between her and Lexa so far might have been nothing more than a part of some elaborate scheme that the warrior had developed to spy on their camp.

When she climbed through the hole in the floor, Lexa's eyes lit up at the sight of her, a small smile gracing her lips. That smile instantly fell away when she noticed the look on the blonde girl's face.

"When were you going to tell me that you're the Commander?" Clarke asked harshly.

An impassive look instantly settled over Lexa's features, and she tilted her chin up slightly. "I don't know what you're talking about."

The Sky Girl crossed her arms over her chest, her tone not letting up at all. "Oh, really? Because Anya just came by looking for the Commander again. The brown-haired, green-eyed Commander who wears a long black coat and who used to wear a symbol on her forehead that looks suspiciously like the one I saw on your forehead the day we met."

Green flames were burning in Lexa's eyes, and Clarke thought for a second that she was going to continue to argue, but then she hung her head in defeat, clearly not wanting to look Clarke in the eyes. "Fine. I am the Commander, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you."

"Why?" Clarke tried her best to prevent the angry tears that were blurring her vision from falling. "Was any of this even real, or were you just pretending the whole time?"

Lexa tried to step forward, clearly wanting to be closer to Clarke, but the ropes around her wrists held her back. She yanked on them, looking to Clarke with a hint of exasperation in her eyes. Clarke understood that the other girl wanted to be untied, but she only raised her own chin, a defiant expression in her eyes. "There's no way I'm untying you right now."

Lexa's face fell, but she nodded, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. "I guess I do deserve that. But I promise you that none of this was a lie. I really did want to be a part of the Skaikru. I still do. And you? Clarke, I promise that I was never pretending with you. When I'm with you is the only time that I feel like I'm really me, like I'm not pretending at all. I…" she trailed off, clearly trying to gather the courage to say something important. "I love you, Clarke."

Blue eyes widened at the admission, the girl whom they belonged to clearly taken aback. Only a few days ago, she had been wondering if she herself felt the same way. She thought she had figured it out, but now she wasn't so sure anymore. She really wished that Lexa would have gotten up the courage to say those words to her yesterday or even a few hours ago when they would have still mattered. "So, if you weren't pretending, then you were running away from your duties as Commander."

Lexa was silent for a few moments before responding, eyes never leaving the ground in front of her. "I was choosing to let go of them."

"You were running away," Clarke repeated more forcefully. "If you had just been a warrior, then you were choosing to let go of those duties. Even if you were one of the Commander's higher-ups, then you were choosing to let go of that, but you're the fucking Commander. You don't get to let go of that. You can't just leave your people to die while you stay here and play Sky Person."

"My people are fine without me," Lexa argued. "They're probably better off without me anyway. I wasn't a very good Commander, or so I've been told."

"You must have been doing something right because the Ice Queen is marching on Polis right now to take over the coalition, and Anya says that you're the only one who can stop her. You're the only one she fears, I guess. Not your _Fleimkepa_ or your general or some new Commander, fresh in the position. _You._ "

Lexa clearly didn't even try to hide the surprise and guilt that came over her face at the news. "I never meant for my people to suffer. I thought that I might have been doing them a favor by staying here. Being a Sky Person was always a childlike fantasy for me, though, wasn't it? I could never truly leave my people. But I had friends here. I had you. I got to be no one other than me."

Something shifted in Clarke as Lexa spoke her thoughts aloud. Not enough to break through her anger, but enough to allow her to understand, at least. Here was a girl, barely older than Clarke was herself, who had been forced to train, since she was old enough to walk probably, for a leadership position that she had never even wanted in the first place. Sure, Clarke stepped up to lead her people most of the time, but she had chosen that role for herself, and she hadn't stepped into it until she got to the ground. Plus, she wasn't the only one who acted as the leader around here, and she could stop at any time without anyone caring. She didn't have to make every decision, and she had plenty of time to just be herself, too. She had plenty of friends. People actually cared about her. Lexa had to have been forced onto the throne at a young age, and she was forced to make every single decision for a large group of people who probably wouldn't even bat an eye if she died. She was forced to become a different person as the Commander, and she had to shoulder that responsibility all on her own. Clarke couldn't even imagine being in the other girl's position, and she had to admit that she could see why the brunette would want to run and also why she was so hard on herself all the time.

"I understand, Lexa," Clarke finally said. "If I was in your place, I might have done the same thing. What hurts the most is that you didn't trust me enough to tell me about it."

"I never meant to hurt you, Clarke," Lexa said right away, "but I couldn't tell you I was the Commander if I wanted to stay here. I knew that you would send me back to my people the moment that I did."

Clarke knew that Lexa was right. The blonde would've never let the other girl run from a duty as significant as being the Commander of the Grounders. Lexa was arguably the most important person on earth, and while Clarke could see why the brunette would want to run from that, she thought that it was cowardly and selfish to actually go through with that desire.

The blonde nodded in response to the warrior. "Yeah, I would've sent you back to your people, but only because being the Commander is not something you can run from. Your people are counting on you to keep them safe, and you're choosing to leave them all to die. You think that this could end well for you, Lexa, but it can't. When this Nia person comes looking for us, she will find you, and I'm sure she won't hesitate to kill you. Besides, you're in no state to fight back right now."

Lexa looked down in shame before raising her head again with an angry glint in her green eyes. "If you are talking about my muscle loss, you were the one who told me that I didn't need to train anymore if I stayed with you, that fighting isn't the way your people settle things."

Anger flared up in Clarke again. "Don't try to turn this around on me, Lexa. You're the one who thought that running away from your responsibilities as Commander would be a good idea. If I had had any idea who you really were, you would've been training the minute that you could walk again. You should've started training on your own when you recovered because you should've known the Ice Queen would pull something like this. You're the leader of your people, Lexa, but you were right about one thing. You're fucking weak."

She instantly turned away before she could see the look of hurt that she knew was on Lexa's face right now. She knew that it was a low blow to call Lexa weak when she was so insecure about being thought of as just that, but she wanted the warrior to hurt like she was hurting. Not only had Lexa been lying to her since the two of them had met, but now the brunette was probably leaving soon, and Clarke honestly didn't know if she could handle that. For one bitter moment, she wished that she had just let Finn kill Lexa the day they had found her.

* * *

Bellamy had just returned to his tent for some much-needed alone time when he heard the flap of his tent being opened and turned to see Finn push his way inside. He groaned in annoyance at the interruption, wondering what the boy could possibly want. That was the one annoying thing about taking on a leadership role. He had to tend to the needs of everyone in the camp, and he should've known that there was no chance of him having any peace and quiet so soon after Anya's visit.

"I wouldn't be bothering you if it wasn't important. I know who the Commander is."

That got Bellamy's attention really quickly, and, suddenly, he didn't care so much about getting some time to himself. "What do you mean? Who is it? Did you find him?"

Finn was already shaking his head before Bellamy even finished his last question, but not for the reason that Bellamy thought. "It isn't a him at all. The Commander's a woman. A girl, really. It's Lexa."

Bellamy's eyebrows rose in shock and disbelief. "Lexa, as in the girl that we've got tied up in the dropship? Clarke's Lexa is the Commander?"

Bellamy saw Finn cringe when the older boy referred to Lexa that way, and Bellamy had to fight the urge to roll his eyes. This was not the time to think about silly crushes. This was probably the most important news they had received since they landed on the ground, and all Finn could think about was the fact that Clarke wasn't with him. Finn finally nodded in answer to Bellamy's question, but the older boy was now skeptical. He couldn't shake away the fact that Finn was just making this up to get Lexa away from Clarke. "Are you absolutely sure?"

Finn nodded again. "Clarke knows, too. When Anya came, she described the Commander, and it was a perfect description of Lexa. Besides, she showed Clarke the little symbol that Lexa was wearing on her forehead the day we found her and said it was the symbol that the Commander always wore. I saw it, too, but Clarke doesn't know that I know. It's Lexa, Bellamy, and we need to kill her."

Bellamy nodded slowly, mulling the younger boy's words over in his head. "Which would show the Grounders that we are to be feared. But it might also make them declare war on us. We don't know their rules about killing the Commander. It might be like a wolf pack where whoever kills her becomes the next one, or it might be that anyone who kills the Commander gets wiped out immediately. What if we just seriously wound her and then send her back to them? Show them that we can make even the almighty Commander weak and force her to order them not to attack."

Finn's lips pulled down in a distasteful frown. "I don't know. I think that killing her would send a better message."

"Because you want Clarke for yourself," Bellamy scowled, growing annoyed again. "Just stay out of my way."

"Can I at least be the one to hurt her?" Finn asked hopefully, but Bellamy just shook his head.

This wasn't the time to let petty jealousy get in the way. Finn was going way too far with this, in Bellamy's opinion. He wanted to punish the girl for all the wrong reasons. Bellamy just wanted to do what was right for his people, and he knew that this was for the best.

He pushed his way out of the tent and hurried over to the dropship, climbing up the ladder to the second floor and breathing a sigh of relief when Clarke was nowhere to be found. He honestly would not have been surprised if Clarke had run off with the Grounder the second that she heard the news, but by the dejected look on Lexa's face, Clarke had not had the best reaction to the revelation that the brunette was the Commander.

Marching over to the Grounder, Bellamy lifted her chin up so that he could look her in the eyes. She didn't even flinch at all, instead just staring at him with no fight left in her eyes. She didn't look angry or even surprised to see him. She just looked upset, which meant that she really did care about Clarke. Bellamy wondered why that didn't sit well with him. He didn't know why he had expected her to be spying on their camp or something and only pretending to like Clarke, but he had. He didn't like to find out that it wasn't true. She didn't look taunting or smug in the slightest; she just looked sad, but Bellamy still had the strange urge to punch her in the face. All because her feelings for Clarke had been genuine. He scowled at himself. God, he was doing exactly what he had criticized Finn for not even five minutes ago.

He quickly pushed his emotions aside and let a detached hardness creep over his eyes as he addressed the girl in front of him. He needed to keep his mind on his people. "You're the Commander."

Lexa's sadness finally slipped away, and she looked as if she was actually registering Bellamy's presence for the first time. Her mouth dropped open, and she looked as if she was frozen in shock. Bellamy explained himself when Lexa didn't respond. "Finn overheard Clarke's conversation with Anya, and he saw what she held out in her hand. A symbol that they had both seen before on your forehead. A symbol which marked you as the Commander. You are no longer welcome with us."

Lexa clearly saw Bellamy's intentions in his eyes because she looked as if she was going to bolt. She tried, too, taking a few steps forward before the ropes around her wrists yanked her back. She tugged on them to try and get free, and Bellamy smirked when it was to no avail. "The mighty Commander, helpless in the hands of the Skaikru."

"I could've escaped from you the moment that Clarke first let me loose," Lexa snarled, "but I didn't because I trusted you to treat me as one of your own."

Bellamy scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why would we trust you when you clearly haven't trusted us? You've been lying to us. Why keep it a secret that you're the Commander if you truly wanted to become one of us?"

"Why let you tie me up and render me helpless?" Lexa shot back. "If I truly meant to betray your people, then I would've run away the second that I was free."

"Listen, Commander. This isn't personal," Bellamy said, growing impatient. "You've just become a sort of bargaining chip for us. If we wound you and make you weak, if we conquer the Commander, then your people will respect us and fear us, and then we can rule."

"My people would respect you if you let me go back," Lexa spat. "I'm their leader. If I say that Skaikru is no longer a threat, then you are no longer a threat. If your wish is to take over the coalition, then you are no better than the Ice Queen."

"Be that as it may, I've already made my decision." Bellamy stooped down and grabbed the dagger from Lexa's thigh. "If we let you go, there's no way to know that you'll keep your word. If we render you weak and useless, we can send a message to your people that we are more powerful than you, _and_ you can tell them that we aren't a threat, or we kill you. Finn argued for you to be killed right away, so really, I'm being merciful—"

He was cut off when he felt a solid kick connect with his chest, sending him reeling backwards. He tripped and landed hard on his ass, immediately bringing his hand up to where the Grounder's foot had connected. He wondered if she might have broken a rib or two, and he looked back up at her with fury in his eyes. "You wanna play that way? Fine. Maybe I will kill you."

Jumping back up from the ground, Bellamy thrust the dagger towards Lexa's throat, but the Commander was quicker, hooking his feet out from under him when he got close enough and sending him tumbling to the floor again. Bellamy wasn't giving up, though. He would kill this girl or die trying. He tried to slash out at her leg, but she easily kicked the dagger away with her other foot, stomping her boot down on Bellamy's hand. He screamed in pain, feeling the bones snap. Looking up at her with a look of pure hatred, he realized that she was laughing at him, amusement dancing in her green eyes, which only served to spurn him on. He let out a loud growl of frustration as he grabbed the dagger in his left hand now, stepping forward and aiming for her stomach this time. Right before the weapon sunk satisfyingly into Lexa's skin, the brunette thrust her head into his, and he brought his hand up to clutch at his skull. She went to hook his legs out from underneath him again, and he took his opportunity when he saw it, striking at her while she was focused on something else. The second before her leg could sweep his out from under him, Bellamy sank the dagger into Lexa's left eye, far enough to take her eye out but not damage the brain, and the brunette cried out in pain.

"Have fun being blind, bitch," Bellamy hissed in her ear, confident now that he had finally won.

She let out an agonized wail as he twisted the knife, relishing in her every pain.

* * *

A scream pierced the usual tranquility of the camp, and everyone was suddenly on alert. While everyone else was frozen in confusion, Clarke took off running for the dropship immediately. She knew exactly who had emitted that scream, and she also had a pretty good idea of who had caused it. Even though she was pretty mad at Lexa right now, Clarke didn't want the brunette to be hurt. She threw the second-floor hatch open just as Lexa emitted another scream, and she had to try her best not to retch at what she saw. Bellamy had Lexa's dagger, and it was currently in the Commander's eye.

"Bellamy, what the hell are you doing?!" Clarke yelled before he could make another move.

He jumped as he pulled the knife from the girl's eye socket, and he accidentally sliced her cheek open as he turned around, looking like a child who'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing. The dagger was tipped in black.

"I was trying to injure her to send a message to her people, but then she tried to kill me, so I'm killing her as punishment," Bellamy snarled, regaining his confidence. "Stay out of this, Clarke."

"No, you stay out of it, Bellamy," Clarke yelled furiously. "I don't know who told you that she's the Commander, but you are not the leader. You can't just choose her punishment for yourself, especially seeing as how she ended up in here for doing that exact same thing. You can't just come in here and slice up my girlfriend."

Bellamy's face settled into a deep scowl, and he shoved the dagger into Clarke's hands. "Fine. I'll tell the camp the news about your stupid Grounder, and then we'll take a vote to decide what happens to her. Whatever our people decide will happen tomorrow morning, but I wouldn't get your hopes up for it to work out in your favor."

"At least let me stay up here with her and take care of her wounds," Clarke argued. "You can't make an example out of her if she's dead."

"Oh, don't worry, I wasn't even thinking about letting you leave. You will stay up with her until tomorrow as well," Bellamy said sternly. "I suppose I can allow you to grab some medical supplies from your tent. Connor will go with you."

Clarke simply nodded, a plan already beginning to form in her mind. She had already been planning on sending Lexa back to her people tonight anyway, but now she found that she needed to alter a few things. When she exited the dropship with Bellamy, only half-listening to his complaining about how hard it had been for him to injure Lexa, he called Connor over to supervise her trip for medical supplies. Luckily, he had no knowledge of anything medical, so he didn't even question the items that Clarke grabbed, shoving them into her bag.

"Is there a reason you need that big bag just to go up to the dropship?" Connor asked.

"Because I don't want to have to carry everything." Clarke was growing more and more annoyed by the second, and she knew that it showed in her voice. Connor didn't question her anymore as she brushed past him, hurrying back to the dropship in order to get to Lexa as quickly as possible. When she got up to the second floor, she heard the hatch close behind her, and she couldn't miss the unmistakable sound of something sliding into place underneath it, letting Clarke know that Connor had locked them upstairs. However, that was the least of her worries at the moment.

Clarke quickly hurried over to untie Lexa's hands, lowering her to the ground afterwards and stroking her hair soothingly, quietly murmuring that it was okay, even though it most certainly wasn't.

"Don't touch your face," Clarke instructed as she pushed Lexa back to lie on the ground.

However, it seemed like reaching up to grab at the place where she was wounded was instinctual for Lexa because she was bringing her hands up to her eye the minute that Clarke got the words out. The blonde quickly grabbed Lexa's wrists and brought her hands back down to her sides before they could reach her eyes. "Lexa."

The brunette whimpered, but she nodded, keeping her hands firmly at her sides as Clarke got to work, straddling the brunette's stomach. She didn't mean to turn anything sexual, but it put her in the best position to reach her work area. Still, she looked to Lexa for permission before beginning to work, and she received it in the form of a tiny nod. Clarke used alcohol to sterilize her hands before she began cleaning out the wound on Lexa's cheek. It wasn't too deep, as it had been done by accident, but it still required a few stitches, which Clarke easily put in. She wanted to clean out Lexa's eye socket, but she knew that it would be extremely painful for the Grounder and also quite difficult to do while the girl's eyelid was moving. She knew that it would be best to sedate Lexa before even attempting that, but she needed the girl awake for the time being. Instead, she grabbed a shirt from the corner of the room and wound it tightly around Lexa's head to slow the bleeding and keep pressure on the area.

She squeezed Lexa's shoulder to let the other girl know that she was done before she went to grab multiple pairs of clothing from their supply that they kept in here, shoving them into her bag along with all of the supplies that Clarke had brought. The blonde was still slightly mad at Lexa for lying to her all that time, but she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty at the same time. She had left Lexa tied up in here when she should have known that anyone might have heard her talking to Lexa or Anya. She should have gotten the brunette out of the camp the minute that she realized who she was. Now, Lexa had been hurt again, and Clarke couldn't help but feel that it was all her fault.

"Am I going to die, Clarke?" Lexa asked when Clarke dropped down beside her again. The thing that bothered Clarke the most about the question was how relaxed Lexa seemed to be about the idea. As if she accepted that she might be about to die and didn't really care.

"No," Clarke said confidently.

"But Bellamy sounded pretty sure that—"

"We're not sticking around to hear the verdict." Clarke cut her off before she could finish, gesturing to the bag that was thrown over her shoulder. "We're only gonna wait for a few more minutes, and then we're getting out of here."

"But there is a guard downstairs," Lexa managed to get out through her whimpers of pain.

"That's the tricky part. If I can get him to open the door, though, which I'm pretty sure I can, then I'll stick him with a sedative, and we'll be on our way." Clarke grabbed the needle from her bag, wanting to make sure that she was ready.

They devolved into silence that was only broken by Lexa's occasional whimpers of pain. Clarke was tempted to give her the herbs that she usually used as painkillers, but she didn't want to mix that with the sedative that she was going to give to Lexa once they were safely away from the camp. The brunette would just have to suffer through the next half hour or so, but she knew that suffering was much better than the alternative. If the two girls stuck around here until morning, Lexa would almost certainly be killed.

"Can you fix my eye?" Lexa finally spoke up in a shaky voice.

"Of course," Clarke said without hesitation.

They both knew that she was lying, but Lexa nodded nonetheless. Clarke tried her best not to feel guilty for giving the other girl a little bit of false hope, but she didn't want to discourage Lexa right when they were about to make their great escape from the camp. It had already been almost completely dark out when Clarke had headed into the dropship with her medical supplies, so she knew that they would have the natural cover of the night soon. Ten more minutes, Clarke thought, and then they would make a run for it. They sat in silence for the remainder of the time, and Clarke didn't even complain when Lexa's head came down to rest on her shoulder. However, she made no move to wrap her arm around the brunette's waist.

* * *

Lexa felt like the left side of her face was on fire, and she wanted it to stop. She supposed that nothing could be worse than the pain that she had been in when she had first gotten here, but she wished that she wouldn't keep getting herself into painful situations in the first place. As the Commander, she rarely ever got injured because she was a superior fighter to every other warrior that she had ever come into contact with. However, it seemed that these strange people from space were the ones that finally had a chance against Lexa.

She wanted to ask Clarke for the herbs that the blonde normally gave her for pain, but she didn't, not wanting to seem even weaker than the Sky Girl clearly already thought her to be. Clarke had been right earlier. Lexa was weak, and she was a coward for running away from her people. Now, she saw how stupid she was for thinking that her duties wouldn't catch up with her. Being with the Sky People had felt like stepping into a completely different universe, but it was clear to her now that she was still in the world that she had lived in her whole life. She needed to get control of herself and become the Commander again, no matter how much she wished that she could only be Lexa. Maybe there was no such thing as only Lexa anymore.

Right now, though, the only thing that Lexa could really concentrate on was the pain that she felt was melting the left side of her face. She tried her best to stop the whimpers of pain from escaping her lips, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't. The pain was too much, and she wondered if Clarke thought her weak for this, too.

"Okay, let's give this a whirl." Clarke sprang to her feet, and Lexa almost fell to the floor when the blonde's shoulder was so suddenly yanked out from underneath her right cheek. She righted herself before that happened, but she could tell that Clarke still hadn't completely forgiven her for what she had done. She wished that she could not be bothered by that thought, but she was. She wondered if the other girl could ever truly forgive her for lying.

"You're gonna have to stop making those awful sounds if we're going to escape." Lexa cringed at the hint of annoyance in Clarke's tone.

She hung her head. "I can't, Clarke."

She wished more than anything that she could just allow the tears that were pressing at the backs of her eyelids to fall, but she would never do that. She hadn't cried since the day that Costia had died, and even though she had allowed herself to be weak in pretty much every other way, she had vowed never to cry again. She was going to stick to that vow.

Blue eyes became more sympathetic as Clarke nodded. "I understand, but we'll be caught if anyone hears you, and we won't get another chance. Is it alright if I gag you?"

Lexa hung her head further in shame. She couldn't see any other way out of this. She would have to allow herself to be gagged like a prisoner, and she suddenly wondered if just handing herself over to be killed was really such a terrible idea.

Clarke must have noticed her discomfort because she was on the ground beside Lexa in no time, guiding sad green eyes back up to meet hers. "There's nothing wrong with being gagged, Lexa. It's going to help you escape and live, and I don't think there's anything stronger than admitting you need help sometimes. Besides, Bellamy told me that it took him forever to get near you earlier, and you had both of your hands tied up. You've still got it in you, Commander."

A small smile spread over Clarke's face as she spoke, and Lexa couldn't help but return it, seeing the truth in Clarke's words. She hadn't even realized how easily she had been deflecting Bellamy's attacks earlier, even though she was at a clear disadvantage. She also hadn't realized how much she had enjoyed it, a slight adrenaline rushing through her at the thought of a fight that she hadn't felt in quite some time.

After tearing off a bit of her T-shirt, Clarke positioned it over Lexa's mouth and tied it so tight that it hurt, but Lexa barely even noticed it compared to the pain that was coming from her eye. She had to admit that it definitely helped her to have something to bite down on, and when a sound still escaped her, it was muffled compared to what it had been like before.

Without another word, Clarke moved to rap on the hatch that led downstairs, banging on it incessantly with one hand while holding a syringe full of sedative in the other. As the minutes passed, and there was no response, Lexa's face fell, and she started to come to terms with the very real possibility that Clarke's plan wouldn't work, and she would be killed tomorrow. However, Clarke didn't give up, and Lexa was just about to say something when the door flew open, and Connor's head finally poked through the hatch.

"What?!" he yelled, clearly fed up with all the banging. "What could you possibly want?!"

Clarke didn't bother giving a response, instead plunging the needle into the boy's neck and pressing. Connor's eyes widened, and he immediately raced for the entrance to the dropship, trying his best to cry out, but he dropped to the floor before he could even pull the curtain back. Lexa didn't think that she would ever cease to be amazed by the magic of the sedative.

"Let's go," Clarke said, wasting no time in climbing down to the first floor.

Lexa scurried after her, knowing that they probably didn't have much time before someone came to check on them. Clarke immediately looped an arm around Lexa's waist to support her when she reached the ground, even though she didn't need any help walking. She didn't have the heart to tell the blonde that, though. Besides, she couldn't say that she didn't enjoy the proximity of the Sky Girl.

Biting down hard on her gag, Lexa followed Clarke out of the dropship. The two of them kept to the shadows and skulked around to the outside walls, slinking along through the darkness in the hopes that they would not be noticed. Lexa wondered if there was some secret escape door, but there didn't appear to be one. She hoped that Clarke had some sort of plan to get past the guard at the gate.

When they were about halfway to said gate, Lexa accidentally let a tiny whimper escape, and both girls froze, hoping that no one had heard them. However, it seemed that everyone was either asleep in their tents or gathered around the fire at the center of the camp, and no one even gave them a second glance. The Sky People were too preoccupied to notice two escapees who were supposedly locked away and being guarded. Lexa let out a sigh of relief as they started moving again.

Upon arrival at the gate, Lexa noticed Jasper standing guard there, and she finally understood just how easy it was going to be for them to escape. The usually goofy boy only nodded at them tonight, not wanting to make a big commotion as he carefully opened the gate for them, just wide enough for them to slip through. Clarke murmured a quick thank you to her friend, and then Lexa watched as the gate slid shut behind them, shutting her out of the Skaikru camp for good.

Then, it was quiet, save for the sounds of crickets singing and small creatures scuffling through the bushes. Clarke and Lexa stumbled through the woods, and it was only then that Lexa realized she didn't have a clue where they were going or where they even could go. If the Ice Queen was truly going to take over the coalition, she would stop at nothing until Lexa was dead. There would be nowhere safe for them, but as they reached the edge of Skaikru "territory," and she saw a looming figure in the distance, she realized exactly where they could go.

"Where can we hide?" Clarke whispered, pulling them both to a stop.

Lexa didn't stop, though, instead pulling Clarke after her as she headed in the direction of the figure. "We should be safe beyond the mountain. A few years ago, people lived in that mountain, bad people who would attack us with weapons far worse than yours. They would burn our flesh with their yellow smoke, blast our people to pieces with bombs much bigger than yours, and they would take our people away and turn them into monsters. They're gone now. They died a few years back because of a breach in their security system. Still, my people never come near this place or go beyond it. They believe the land is cursed, and I do not think that anyone will look for us there."

Clarke only nodded as they continued on, hurrying into the forest beyond the mountain. The undergrowth was thicker here, and it was clear that this area had been uninhabited for quite some time, but Lexa knew that it would also make it easier for them to hide. As they walked, Lexa became more and more grateful that Clarke's arm was around her waist as she became more and more tired. She could feel Clarke growing tired as well, and it was almost as if they were the only things holding each other up at this point. Lexa tried to pull the gag from her mouth as they trudged on, but it was tied too tight, and neither girl wanted to stop until they reached their destination, wherever that may be.

They walked for what felt like hours, and maybe it was. Now that they had passed into what they had deemed safe territory, they didn't want to stop. Both of them wanted to get far enough away from clan territory that it would be hard for anyone to ever find them. They only stopped when Lexa tripped over a tree root and fell to the ground, pulling a very tired Clarke with her. They hadn't reached a clearing by any means, but there were not so many bushes around them, and there was enough room for both of them to lie on the ground and even start a fire, if they wanted.

"I guess we'll stay here tonight, then," Clarke said, clearly not wanting to get up off the ground any more than Lexa did.

Lexa sighed in relief when the gag was removed from her mouth, and she immediately rolled onto her side, letting out all of her built-up cries of pain. Almost immediately, though, Clarke was rolling her onto her back and running a soothing hand through her hair. "Shh, Lexa. Shhhh, it's okay."

Not even Clarke could soothe Lexa's pain tonight, though. Her eye was throbbing, and so was her head, not to mention that her legs were aching from all of the walking they had just done. She tried to express this, or anything really, to Clarke, but she couldn't get a single word to form.

"I need to clean up your wound." Clarke untied the shirt from around Lexa's head. "Can I use my last sedative on you?"

"I—pl—pl—" Lexa groaned in frustration when she couldn't get the words out, and she just nodded instead. Anything to stop the immense pain that was coursing through her head.

Clarke nodded back and pulled out the needle, but she didn't move to stick it in Lexa's neck. In fact, she just sat there, looking at Lexa with a mixture of concern and uncertainty, and Lexa could tell that Clarke didn't want to do this. She wondered why, but there was no time for questions tonight. She needed that sedative, and she knew that there was no one better to take care of her wounds than Clarke.

"Please, Clarke," she managed to say.

It seemed that Lexa's encouragement was all that Clarke needed to finally sick the needle into Lexa's neck, albeit reluctantly. She swallowed thickly and pressed, sending the fluid inside into Lexa's veins. Clarke placed a kiss on Lexa's forehead as the brunette's eyes slid shut. "I'll see you in the morning, my sweet warrior."

Just like that, Lexa somehow knew that she was forgiven, and she smiled as all of her pain from the day, both physical and emotional, finally eased away.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thursday, everyone! I'm sorry for the shorter chapter this time, but I did actually get this update out much quicker than I have been for the past couple. I know that a lot of people didn't like the events of the last chapter, so thank you to everyone who has decided to continue reading this story, and I hope you all enjoy the new chapter! :)

When Clarke woke up the next morning, she found herself in the exact same position in which she had fallen asleep: curled protectively around Lexa. It felt like it had been way too long since Clarke had been able to sleep beside Lexa, even though it had only been a night. Every night away from the brunette who she had come to feel so strongly about was incredibly painful. She burrowed her head further into Lexa's hair, wishing that she could just fall back asleep so that she didn't have to get up and face the day, but the rays of the sun were too bright for her to slip back into peaceful oblivion. She was not looking forward to having to dash the last little bit of hope that she had given Lexa last night. She was starting to think that maybe even giving her that had been cruel.

Last night, Clarke had fallen asleep almost immediately after cleaning up Lexa's eye. It had been a mess, to say the least, and cleaning it had made Clarke sick to her stomach. She probably would've thrown up if she hadn't been so exhausted from the events of the day. She wasn't one to normally get squeamish at the sight of injuries and blood, but this was different. She didn't know if it was different because of the way she felt about Lexa or if it was more because of the fact that she had to remove tiny remnants of Lexa's eye that were still there. She was glad that she had always paid attention to her mom's work on the Ark because she would've had no idea what needed to stay and what needed to go if she hadn't seen her mom clean out an eye socket or two. She was simply glad that she had all of the supplies that she needed with her. When she had first gotten to the ground, she remembered thinking that her mother had sent down way too many things, most of which she would never use. She had learned by now that you never knew what you were going to need on the ground.

A stirring Lexa brought Clarke out of her reminiscence of the events of the previous night, and she began to rub the brunette girl's back soothingly, knowing that, while she didn't need the soothing yet, she was about to. Lexa blinked a few times, clearly trying to remember where she was and probably also trying to figure out why she couldn't open her left eye. She quickly turned over when she felt Clarke's hands upon her and relaxed when she saw who it was that she was with. Seconds later, her hands came up to claw at the T-shirt that was still wound around her head. Clarke had tied it as tightly as she could in order to keep pressure on the eyelid, but she realized now that it was uncomfortable for Lexa. Still, she knew that it was best to keep pressure on that area for a few days to make sure it healed properly.

"Leave it alone, Lexa," Clarke said softly, stilling Lexa's hands. "It'll help you heal."

It was at that moment that Lexa seemed to remember the events of the previous night, a firm sense of clarity washing over her face. "And my eye? Will it be okay?"

Looking into the one green eye that the brunette had left, Clarke noticed a sort of hopeless hope in it. It was as if Lexa already knew the answer to her own question but was still expecting herself to be wrong. Clarke felt her heart shatter, and it was suddenly as if she had lost her ability to speak because she didn't have the heart to tell Lexa the truth. She tried to formulate some sort of response that skirted around the answer but came up blank. It didn't seem to matter, though, because Lexa came to accept the truth for what it was all on her own, her face darkening.

"I no longer have a left eye, do I?"

The blonde wanted to cry, but she couldn't. She knew that she needed to be strong for Lexa right now, so she didn't need to be breaking down. She didn't trust herself to speak right now without her voice shaking, so she simply nodded her head, telling Lexa everything that she needed to know. The brunette let out a small gasp of pain at the confirmation, and Clarke knew that it had nothing to do with the pain that was probably coursing through the other girl's head. Judging by the lost and devastated look on Lexa's face, Clarke thought that this was finally going to be it, the moment that she finally saw the strong warrior cry, but she was wrong. Not a single tear formed in that one green eye. Lexa simply lied back down on her side, facing away from Clarke.

The Sky Girl swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "Are you okay, Lexa?"

"I will be," Lexa muttered unconvincingly. Instead, she sounded like she might never be okay again. "I just want to be alone for a while."

Clarke only nodded in answer, wanting to respect the brunette's privacy. She resolved to leave Lexa alone according to her wishes and spend her own time to explore the territory that the two of them had settled in. However, she couldn't leave without giving Lexa the herbs that she used as painkillers, pulling them out of her bag and sliding them towards the Commander. "Just don't forget your herbs."

The only response she received from the brunette was a nod, and she knew that would have to suffice as she walked deeper into the forest. She wanted nothing more than to stay there and comfort Lexa, but the warrior clearly didn't want that kind of comfort right now. Clarke understood wanting to be by yourself, but she had found that, ever since she had met Lexa, nothing had been able to comfort her more than the brunette. Perhaps, Lexa blamed Clarke for what had happened to her. The blonde couldn't fault her for that, though. She had seen how upset Lexa had gotten the first time that she had been injured, and that had only been temporary. Now that it was a permanent injury, Clarke didn't know how the other girl would react. To say she was worried about her was an understatement.

Clarke wasn't really seeing anything around her as she continued to walk, her thoughts completely caught up on Lexa. She brought her hand up to cover her left eye, wondering what it would be like to see as Lexa now saw. Her first thought was that it was awful because black spots mingled with her vision. Her second thought, though, was that the black spots were caused by the fact that her left eye was seeing the back of her eyelid. Lexa's left eye was gone, and she, therefore, wouldn't be able to see anything at all. She would still have a significant blind spot on that side of her face, though, which would make it extremely hard for her to fight the Ice Queen and win. Clarke didn't want to worry about that right now, though. Together, they would find a way to defeat the Queen, but, for now, Clarke only wanted to make sure that Lexa was okay.

After about an hour of wandering around aimlessly, Clarke came across a bank of sand, leading out to blue-green water that came ashore in gentle waves. The scent of salt was carried on the breeze, and Clarke realized that she had found her way to a beach. She recognized the beach from old movies that she used to watch on the Ark, and she had to admit that she had all but forgotten of its existence until now. The people in the movies had so many things that no longer existed that Clarke had forgotten of the continuous existence of the ocean. She had honestly never thought she'd see it in real life, never thought she would see anything on the ground, and she was slightly in awe to come across it now, as she was of each new thing that she discovered. She wished that she could run right in and enjoy the feel of the new form of water against her skin to discover the ways in which it was different from the river she was used to bathing in. However, she stopped herself before she could even take a step forward. She couldn't forget what had happened to Octavia on their first day on the ground when she had jumped into the water without inspecting it first.

She sunk onto the sand instead, letting the soft crystallized particles trickle through her fingers. The substance felt so much better than the dirt that she was used to, and she couldn't stop herself from grabbing handful after handful of it, soothed by the gentle feeling of it falling to the ground again. The only thing that could have made the serene scene more perfect would have been if Lexa had been there to share it with Clarke. The blonde thought of the Commander now, and the first thing that popped into her head were the expressive green eyes that always held so much emotion. Clarke knew that she would miss those eyes in the days to come, but she also knew that she was lucky that Lexa still had one left. She was lucky that the brunette was even still alive at all. Lexa was still Lexa, and that was really all that mattered to Clarke.

The sun began to set, streaking the sky with orange and leaving a reddish-orange trail across the water, as if a paintbrush had come through and left a zig-zagging streak atop the surface. Clarke found it to be one of the most beautiful things that she had ever seen, and she wished that she had brought something to draw it with, although her black and white sketch would do nothing to capture the true beauty of the scene before her. She wanted to sit there and watch until the sun was completely gone from the sky, but she knew that she needed to go back and catch something for dinner while she could still see. She had spent enough time at the beach for the day, having spent the majority of her time awake just sitting on the sand and gazing out over the waves.

When she finally returned, Clarke was carrying a rabbit, which she had caught on the way back. She wasn't sure that it would be enough for both her and Lexa when they hadn't eaten anything all day, but she could tell by the brunette's position that Lexa wasn't feeling much like eating. She was still curled onto her side, and Clarke might have suspected that she hadn't moved all day if it hadn't been for the fact that the pain herbs were gone. The blonde had honestly thought that Lexa was sleeping when she had first arrived, but she quickly noticed that Lexa's green eye was open and was staring at a spot in front of her in a dejected manner.

"I brought you some food," Clarke said when Lexa made no move to come over and join her. She decided to work on getting a fire started while she waited for a response from the other girl. The only answer she received was a grunt, which she didn't know what to make of, so she just fell silent. She kept hoping that Lexa would finally decide to come over to her as she cooked the meat, and the enticing aroma filled the air. When the meal was finally ready, she tried to bring some to Lexa, but the brunette didn't even acknowledge her existence. She tried to hold it up to the Commander's lips, but Lexa just turned her head away.

"Lexa, come on, I know you must be starving," Clarke tried again. "You haven't eaten anything all day."

"I am not even hungry at all," Lexa finally spoke.

"You're always hungry," Clarke said, a little uncertain of herself now.

"Not today."

Somehow, Clarke could tell that she wasn't lying, and she remembered another time when Lexa had seemingly lost her appetite. It had been after she had been tied up in the dropship, and it was because she was upset with herself for not fitting in with the ways of the Skaikru. Back then, it had been because she cared too much about the fact that she had made a mistake. Now, she didn't seem to care about anything.

Clarke hoped that Lexa still cared about her.

"It's okay, Lexa." Clarke decided to break the silence, to pretend that Lexa still cared. "You'll be strong enough to defeat the Ice Queen again soon."

"I don't care that I am weak anymore, Clarke," Lexa stated, and Clarke could tell by her disinterested tone that it was true. She knew what the brunette was referencing, though, and she instantly felt more terrible than she had ever felt in her life.

"I'm sorry about the things I said yesterday." Clarke let out a long breath, looking down at the ground, unable to chance looking Lexa in the eye. "I shouldn't have said you were weak because it's not true. I was just upset, and I wanted to say the thing that I knew would hurt you the most."

"Well, you got your wish," Lexa said, her voice a mixture of bitter and harsh, "I am hurt, and this time, it is not reparable."

That shut Clarke up real quick. The harshness in the brunette's voice instantly answered the question of whether or not she blamed Clarke for what had happened to her. Even if it wasn't a conscious thing, there was still some tiny part of Lexa that thought it was Clarke's fault that she had lost an eye, and maybe it was. Clarke should've gotten Lexa out of the camp the minute that she had realized she was the Commander, and she certainly shouldn't have left her tied up so that she would be at the mercy of anyone who wanted to harm her. If it weren't for Clarke, Lexa would still have two eyes, and she would still be the happy girl that the blonde had come to love. Now, it seemed that all her fight was gone, and Clarke had no idea what she could possibly do to fix it.

The rest of the night was spent in an awkward silence as Lexa refused to move, and Clarke tried her best to pretend she wasn't watching the other girl and losing her mind with worry. When nightfall finally came, Clarke scooted over to take her place behind Lexa. She brushed the brunette's arm gently to let Lexa know that she was there, a gesture that had been meant to be comforting, but it seemed to have the opposite effect on the Commander. Lexa sat bolt upright, glaring down at Clarke before the Sky Girl even had a chance to process what was happening. Clarke immediately sat up as well, wanting to comfort the girl that she thought she had accidentally spooked. Lexa cut her off before she could even get a word out.

"Never touch me on my blind side," she hissed, angrier than Clarke had ever remembered seeing her. " _Never_."

"But, Lexa, I was only—"

"Do it again, and I will cut off your fucking hand."

Clarke's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She knew that Lexa would never make good on her threat, but it was unlike the usually gentle and respectful brunette to issue threats in the first place, especially not to Clarke, let alone the fact that she had used a Skaikru curse word. The blonde had never heard the Grounder use a Skaikru curse word before, and she knew that Lexa was seriously messed up over this. She wished she knew the right words to say or the right thing to do to provide some sort of comfort for the brunette, but she had no idea what to do for this kind of pain. Before she even had a chance to try something, Lexa was flopping back down onto her side, blind side up, making it impossible for Clarke to try to cuddle her again without disobeying the command that she had just given.

"Lexa, come on," Clarke finally said, and even she had to admit that it sounded pretty pathetic.

"I wish to sleep alone tonight, Clarke."

The blonde could only nod, even though she knew that Lexa couldn't see her. However, the simple way in which Lexa had stated her desire to sleep alone pained Clarke more than she cared to admit. She knew that she needed to respect the brunette's wishes, though, no matter how much it hurt. And oh, did it hurt for her to lie within several feet of the girl she loved but still not be able to touch her. The warrior was so close, yet so far away. She wasn't tied up this time. She was freer than she had ever been. They both were, and yet another invisible barrier had come between them.

Clarke wanted nothing more than,  _needed_  nothing more than to hold Lexa's body against her as she slept, like she had gotten so used to doing, but she knew that it was only going to be another restless night. Maybe Lexa didn't want to cuddle as much as Clarke did anymore. Maybe she had easily gotten to the point where she could fall asleep without the blonde. Maybe Lexa couldn't even love her anymore at all after everything that had happened. What Clarke had no way of knowing, though, was that, as hard as it was for her to sleep without Lexa, it was even harder for Lexa to turn her away.

* * *

Throughout the next couple of days, nothing changed. Lexa would lay in one spot, she refused to eat, and she always made sure to keep her blind side up so that Clarke couldn't touch her. Only after two full days did Clarke finally get her to eat. She had to leave the food beside Lexa and go for a walk, and, even then, the brunette didn't eat it all. She was losing weight quickly, and Clarke couldn't help but be worried about her. Even more than that, she missed the brunette, missed holding her and talking to her. She had to wonder if maybe whatever they had between them was now damaged beyond repair. Clarke wished that Lexa would just say one word to her, but she kept silent at all times. The only time the two girls even interacted anymore was when Clarke checked on Lexa's wounds. Lexa was becoming skin and bones and acting like she was mute, and Clarke had no idea what she could do to fix it.

It wasn't like Clarke had never seen anything like this before. She knew that this behavior was common with patients who suffered a permanent injury, and she had seen it countless times on the Ark. However, her mother had never been able to treat this kind of pain, and Clarke knew that she couldn't either. When she had seen this on the Ark, it had always been with someone she did not know very well, if she even knew them at all, and she had thought it was hard to watch then. It was so much harder to watch it happen to someone she loved.

After what had to be close to a week, Clarke began to see that she might be able to help Lexa by talking to her, even if the brunette didn't want that. If she could just get Lexa to see that, even though she had lost an eye, she was lucky that she still had one left, then maybe the warrior would stop being so miserable all of the time. Lexa could still do everything that she had been able to do with two eyes, aside from maybe defeating the Ice Queen, but Clarke wasn't so worried about that right now. Clarke remembered Lexa telling her once that injuries didn't matter if you could still train with them. The brunette warrior could definitely still train with only one eye, and it would be useful because she was going to need to relearn to fight again sometime.

The blonde crouched down beside Lexa, wishing that she could reach out an arm to touch her side but knowing better than to do that when she wanted Lexa to listen. "Lexa, I know you're upset right now, but you have to realize that you're not useless. You can still do everything that I can do. You're really lucky that you got out of there alive."

Clarke was surprised when Lexa rolled over, but her hope instantly vanished when she saw the glare in Lexa's eye. "Am I really lucky if I am to be deemed as weak for the rest of my life? Who would want a one-eyed Commander?"

The Sky Girl took it in stride. "Maybe your people will be skeptical at first, but when they see you fight, and we will get you fighting again, then they'll never question it again."

The warrior almost sighed, as if she suddenly didn't even care anymore. "I suppose so."

Clarke wondered if she didn't care because all of the fight had been sapped out of her in the face of this new injury or if it was something else. She was starting to think that, whatever Lexa was upset over, maybe it wasn't completely about her injury. There seemed to be something else bothering her, and she wondered if the other girl would tell her what it was.

"Okay, Lex, I know there's something else bothering you. What is it?"

"Nothing," the brunette said stubbornly. "I am only upset over my eye."

"You may be upset about that, but that's not the only thing that's getting you down. You may not think so, but I do know you, and I can tell that there's more than one thing that's upsetting you."

Lexa gave Clarke a skeptical look, as if she was trying to gauge whether or not she could get by with a lie. Clearly, what she saw wasn't very lie-encouraging because Clarke knew that what followed was nothing but the truth. "I am upset about my eye, of course, but I am even more upset that I couldn't be Skaikru, or rather that Skaikru were not who I thought they were. I was so desperate to be free and belong somewhere that I did not see who your people really were, and I am also angry at myself for that."

"Yeah, most of my people are assholes," Clarke agreed, "but not Raven and Octavia, Jasper and Monty. You did belong with them and with me, and I can promise you that they are exactly who you think they are."

"Still, I should have known," Lexa pressed on. "I shouldn't have wanted to try so hard. A good leader would be able to see who people really are, but I was too blind to notice that being with your people wasn't some paradise that existed away from reality. How could I be so stupid?"

Clarke sighed, unsure of what to do to help Lexa. There was so much that seemed to be weighing on the poor girl, so much more than Clarke would ever have to worry about in her life. That's when it hit her, and she suddenly had an idea of how she might be able to help. "No matter how upset you get, you just keep trying to bottle up your emotions instead of allowing yourself to fully feel them, and you can't do that. It never works. Let it go, Lexa."

The brunette shook her head. "I can't, Clarke. Especially not now. I was foolish to want to be just Lexa again. Maybe Lexa doesn't even exist anymore."

"Of course she does," Clarke responded immediately. "You can always be Lexa with me. Don't ever feel like I would want you to be anyone else because I love you just the way you are."

Maybe it was that statement that finally did it, or maybe it was inevitable after all this time, but no matter the cause, Lexa's bottom lip started to tremble, and Clarke held her arms open wide. Tears began to fall from Lexa's eye as loud sobs wracked her body, and she fell into Clarke's arms. The blonde girl couldn't help but think about how this was the first time the other girl had allowed Clarke to hold her since they had left the camp. It felt relieving, and Clarke wished that it could've been under better circumstances.

As Clarke held Lexa in her arms, she rocked her back and forth as the tears fell, trying her best to soothe the girl but also not wanting her to be fully soothed until she had let out all of her heartbreak from the past few days, from the past few years. Clarke didn't know exactly how long it had been since Lexa had last cried, but she knew that it had to have been a significant amount of time. There was a time when Clarke had questioned whether or not the warrior even could cry, but now it seemed to come so easy to the girl, a glaring sign that she was letting out years of sorrow. It felt good, at least, to know that Lexa trusted Clarke enough to cry around her when she clearly didn't cry in front of anyone.

When the brunette's cries had finally softened into sniffles, Clarke wiped the tears from her cheeks, causing a beautiful green eye to rise to blue. "I'm so sorry, Clarke."

"Crying doesn't make you weak, Lexa," Clarke argued. "Even the strongest people cry."

"I'm not apologizing for crying," Lexa murmured quietly, and suddenly, Clarke understood. The Grounder was apologizing for the way that she had treated Clarke over the past few days, the way she had distanced herself and refused to talk or be touched.

Clarke held Lexa tighter as she whispered into her hair. "It's okay. I understand. I'm just glad that you finally let yourself feel everything."

Lexa only nodded, and then she fell silent. She was silent for so long that Clarke wondered if maybe she had fallen asleep. That was, until she heard the girl's beautiful voice adding to the music of the nighttime, breaking through the sorrow of the week.

"I love you, too."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good morning, Clexakru! I'm gifting you guys with a much more lighthearted chapter this time because we gotta get a break from all that angst sometime, you know? Anyway, I hope that you will enjoy this chapter much more than the previous two! :)

The next morning, Clarke awoke to the feel of Lexa shifting against her. She tried to bury her head back into the brunette's chest, wanting to silently tell Lexa that she wasn't ready to get up yet, but the other girl was already getting to her feet.

"Where are you going?" Clarke asked groggily through half-lidded eyes.

"Out for a run," Lexa replied easily. "I need to get back into shape if I am to fight the Ice Queen."

That immediately woke Clarke up, and she sat up as well, eyeing Lexa's gaunt frame warily. "No, you're not. Not until you've had a decent meal. You haven't been eating well at all lately, and I don't want you passing out in the woods somewhere. I might not be able to find you."

Lexa glared at the blonde, and Clarke knew that she was about to argue when she opened her mouth, so the Sky Girl beat her to it. "You can go for a walk if you need some exercise, but please don't go out running yet."

The brunette rolled her eyes, but she nodded, and Clarke knew that she had finally gotten through to her. As Lexa disappeared, obscured by the forest around them, Clarke couldn't help but be worried about her. She knew that it was an irrational worry. It wasn't like Lexa was completely blind, but still she couldn't push the worry that something bad might happen from her mind. Lexa could get lost, or she could be attacked by something, and Clarke wasn't ready to lose her. She didn't think she ever would be. She tried to busy herself by sorting through the medical supplies that she had brought, but she knew that she was still worried because she let out a relieved breath when Lexa reappeared, dragging a deer behind her. Clarke was impressed, and perhaps that was the point. Maybe Lexa wanted to prove to herself that she could still do everything that she had been able to do before.

"Nice catch, Lexa," Clarke praised.

Lexa smiled at the praise, a barely there smile, but nevertheless, it was the first smile that Clarke had seen since they had arrived at their temporary camp, and she knew that it was another step in the right direction. Just yesterday, she had been worried that Lexa might never get over the loss of her eye, but she now knew that the brunette was stronger than she could have ever imagined.

"I suppose there are things I can still do," Lexa said.

"You can still do everything, even take down the Ice Queen. You will fight again. I'll make sure of it." Clarke didn't know how, but she was determined to help Lexa to fight just as well as she had before. This injury wasn't the end of the world, and the blonde knew that the other girl could still be just as good of a Commander with it as without it. With everything that Lexa had been through, Clarke thought that Lexa would make an even better Commander now than she had before.

"My wound is throbbing." Lexa brushed off the promise. "I would very much like some of your herbs to ease the pain."

Clarke's face fell at Lexa's attempt to avert the blonde's attention from the topic of fighting. She quickly schooled her features so that Lexa would not see her disappointment, but she couldn't help but feel that way at Lexa's clear lack of faith in herself. She remembered the brunette talking about her advisor always putting her down, and the Sky Girl wondered if Lexa thought that she had proved her adviser right by trying so hard to stay with the Sky People. Clarke wished that she could get Lexa to see that everyone was allowed to make mistakes.

At Clarke's lack of response, Lexa reached towards the medicine bag, snapping Clarke out of her daydream. She pulled the bag away from the other girl with what she hoped was a teasing smirk. "Not until you eat a decent meal."

Lexa huffed, but she moved to start preparing the deer with a slight quirk of her lips, letting Clarke know that she was not actually mad. The two girls ate in silence, too focused on their food to say much of anything, especially Lexa, who hadn't eaten well in several days. She ate close to her normal portion, though, today, and Clarke couldn't even begin to express how relieved she was that Lexa was eating again.

"I haven't felt this full in a while," Lexa said once she had finished.

"That wasn't too much, was it?" Clarke didn't want Lexa to be sick.

"It was perfect," the warrior reassured her.

"You seem to be in a better mood today." Clarke handed over the herbs that she was withholding.

"I am." Lexa popped them into her mouth and began to chew.

"Then, how about we go for a walk?" Clarke watched as Lexa swallowed. "I've got something I want to show you."

Nodding immediately, Lexa stood up and took the hand that Clarke was holding out to her. The blonde began to move off into the forest, and Lexa followed, albeit confusedly. "Where are we going?"

"Somewhere really cool," Clarke answered vaguely, wanting to keep their destination a surprise.

They walked for almost an hour, and Lexa didn't complain once, having instantly accepted Clarke's insinuation that she desired to surprise Lexa. The brunette easily complied, simply allowing Clarke to guide her by the hand, and for that, Clarke was grateful. She didn't think that she would have ever been able to do this kind of thing with her friends, especially Octavia. The girl was way too curious to walk for an hour without a clue where they were going. She would've asked questions the whole way there, but Lexa was quiet.

There was something freeing about being out here with Lexa, just the two of them, now that Lexa was feeling better. They were just two girls all alone in territory that was unknown to both of them. It seemed as if no one knew that they existed anymore, that they had stepped into some alternate dimension where they were the only ones who existed. There was something so ultimately freeing about being…well, free. If she hadn't seen it before, Clarke could definitely see now why Lexa had wanted to escape her responsibility. Who would actually want to go back to a life where the fate of everyone rested upon their shoulders, when given the choice? Especially after tasting true freedom. Especially when they had to rule all alone.

When the two of them finally burst out from the trees onto the edge of the beach, Clarke couldn't help but feel even more free and at peace. There was something about this place that she had just discovered yesterday that she loved more than anywhere else she had ever been, and she had to stop herself from running down the bank and throwing herself into the sand. Instead, she simply began walking out onto the powdery substance, pulling Lexa behind her.

The brunette girl raised an eyebrow, looking slightly puzzled as to what was so cool about this place. "You are taking me to the beach? Clarke, I have been to the beach before."

Clarke rolled her eyes playfully. She should have known that Lexa wouldn't appreciate something that she had been able to see every day of her life. "Don't burst my bubble, Lexa. It's beautiful here."

"Burst your bubble?" Lexa repeated, tilting her head to the side, having not heard the phrase before.

"It means don't ruin my excitement and appreciation of the beach," Clarke explained. "Besides, this is the perfect place to train. The sand is soft, so it will be hard for either of us to get hurt."

"But the sand is also harder to get around in," Lexa pointed out.

"Which will make it much easier when you're fighting the Ice Queen on level ground."

"Fine," Lexa gave in. "Let's start training then."

Clarke was slightly surprised that the brunette wanted to begin training right away, but she was more than happy to comply. She followed Lexa back up towards the forest to find sticks that they could use as makeshift swords. As she picked through the foliage at the edge of the forest, Clarke noticed how much better Lexa looked today than she had only yesterday. Her livelihood was back, and it seemed that she was holding out a stick to Clarke while already holding onto one for herself before the blonde could even examine the ground for two seconds. Clarke accepted the makeshift weapon, following Lexa back down to the beach. The other girl was clearly eager to get training.

"Before we start this, I must warn you that I am very good," Lexa said with a teasing smirk.

"Whatever you say, Lexa," Clarke playfully returned. "Bring it on."

Clarke had never fought with a sword before, so she could admit to not really knowing what it was that she was supposed to do. She got into what she hoped was a good fighting stance, settling into the stance that she had seen many warriors take up in her time on the ground. She noticed that Lexa's stance was altered now. Her stick was held more to the right than Clarke thought it should have been, and she wondered if the brunette even noticed that she was doing it. Clarke started to circle Lexa, the way that she had seen people do in old movies. She thought that that must not be the way that people did it now because of the puzzled look that spread across Lexa's face at the movement. Still, Lexa didn't let Clarke out of her sight, turning with her to make sure that the other girl was in her line of sight at all times.

After a few seconds, Clarke decided to go for Lexa's blind side, knowing without doubt that that's exactly what the Ice Queen would do. She lunged for Lexa's left, hoping to catch the other girl off guard, but Lexa was ready for her. The Commander easily turned with Clarke, keeping her in sight, to block the blow, using Clarke's surprise to her advantage and easily disarming the blonde with a flick of her wrist. Clarke knew that her mouth was hanging open in awe, but she didn't even have the strength to close it after what she had just witnessed.

"Wow, so I clearly need to get better at this." Clarke stated the obvious. "You're never gonna learn anything if I keep fighting like that."

"It is true that your fighting skills seem to be lacking, but you will become better in time. This time, try widening your stance, and don't throw all of your weight into your swing," Lexa instructed, her tone determined. Clarke could easily tell that this woman was used to training warriors to fight, probably even children by the way that she didn't seem the least bit exasperated by Clarke's lousy attempts.

Nodding to let Lexa know that she had heard her, Clarke widened her stance and raised her stick up to try again. Again and again and again. When she had agreed to try again, Clarke still hadn't fully realized how hard beating Lexa was going to be. She wondered what it said about her fighting skills that Lexa could easily beat her so many times with only one eye. She wondered if maybe it said even more about Lexa's.

She almost had the brunette one time when she quickly pulled her stick around to Lexa's other side, out of her field of vision. She thought she would be able to hit the side of Lexa's abdomen and pantomime giving her a lethal cut, but Lexa's head whipped around in a heartbeat, and she quickly hooked Clarke's feet out from under her, sending the blonde tumbling into the sand for another defeat.

"Okay, so maybe you're too good for me." Clarke was breathing heavily from her spot on the ground.

"Perhaps, I am." Lexa's eye twinkled with a teasing light. The blonde was about to push back up to her feet when Lexa dropped down right on top of her, grabbing her hands and pinning them above her head.

"Someone's feeling good about herself," Clarke noted, her voice slightly teasing, but she knew that her relief at Lexa's lighthearted mood showed through as well.

Lexa only nodded happily before leaning down to press her lips to Clarke's. The Sky Girl's first instinct was to bring her hands up to tangle in Lexa's wavy brown hair, but she quickly remembered that Lexa was still restraining her arms above her head. Even as out of shape as she was, Clarke found herself blushing at how strong Lexa still was.

Overjoyed at the sensation of finally kissing Lexa after all this time, Clarke opened her mouth to allow Lexa's tongue inside, feeling it scrape against the top row of her teeth. She was just about to poke her own tongue past Lexa's teeth when the brunette pulled away, causing Clarke to let out a whine of disappointment. Lexa only grinned down at her in response. "You may kiss me again once you achieve your victory."

"Lexa, that is so unfair," Clarke whined, already feeling tired and sore, even though they couldn't have been sparring for more than an hour. "You've been training like this all your life, and I have no experience at all. You'd have to be fully blind for me to even have a chance against you."

Lexa went on smirking in satisfaction, but Clarke's eyes widened in realization when she heard the words that came out of her own mouth. A small smile spread across her face as she suddenly got an idea. Lexa clearly noticed that something was going on in Clarke's head because her smirk quickly turned to a look of confusion. "What is it?"

"You should seriously fight blind and try to beat me then," Clarke suggested, her voice raising in excitement at her own idea. "That way, you'll learn to rely on hearing instead of sight sometimes."

Lexa's face twisted in horror. "You wish to take out my other eye?"

"Of course not, Lexa," Clarke was quick to reassure her. "I was only going to blindfold you."

"I do not like the sound of that," Lexa said, but she moved closer anyway, and Clarke's heart swelled at the indication that Lexa trusted her. Despite having voiced her dislike of the blindfold idea, she was still willing to let Clarke go through with it.

"It'll be okay," Clarke assured her. "Just stay still."

After moving around to the back of Lexa's head, she reached up to untie the shirt that was covering Lexa's empty eye socket, retying it so that it now covered both of Lexa's eyelids. The minute she moved away, though, Lexa was already reaching for it. The blonde gently grabbed Lexa's hands before they could grasp the fabric, even though Clarke had tied it tightly enough that Lexa wouldn't be able to get it off from the front anyways. "Just leave it alone, Lexa. I promise I'll take it off the second we're done training."

"But I can't see, Clarke. If we are attacked, I'll have no way to defend myself," Lexa stated, and Clarke wondered why Lexa felt the need to be so practical all the time, even when the probability of anyone finding them was close to zero.

Clarke would've taken it off again at Lexa's first request under normal circumstances, but she didn't want to miss this golden training opportunity. "Relax, Lexa. There's no one here but us, and no one's going to find us here, but in the off chance that someone does find us, I'll untie it for you."

Lexa nodded slightly, relaxing at the truth in Clarke's words.

"Just focus on the sounds that I make, and see if you can still kick my ass."

Clarke decided to go easy on Lexa at first, making her sounds as obvious as she could so that the brunette could get used to fighting without any sight at all, but it seemed that Lexa didn't need it. She was easily matching Clarke swing for swing. Granted her actions were much more delayed, but each time Clarke thought she was going to get past Lexa's defenses, the brunette's stick was swinging up at the last minute to block her. Whenever Clarke would swing at Lexa's head, her stick clashed against the warrior's instead of its target. When Clarke jumped away from Lexa to catch a breath, the other girl moved forward to slash at Clarke's stomach, a blow that the blonde had to work really hard to defend. Lexa could hear her footfalls in the sand, the swoosh of her stick through the air, and Clarke knew that she needed to try harder to be quiet if she was ever even hoping to win this. Clearly, she had still not fully realized the extent of Lexa's fighting abilities when she had thought to herself that it would be much easier to beat the warrior without her sight.

Making sure to keep her footfalls silent, Clarke moved in closer to jab Lexa in the stomach. However, the sound of her moving her stick forward must have given her away because Lexa quickly sidestepped the blow. Clarke tried to retreat, but Lexa lunged for her, grabbing onto her shoulder and poking her stick against the Sky Girl's back. No eyes. Clarke couldn't contain her amazement. "How the hell did you do that?"

"Like you said before, I have been doing this for my entire life, and you have no practice at all," Lexa said simply. "You are not trained to fight quietly, and I can hear your every move."

"We'll see about that." Clarke lunged forward again, determined to defeat the warrior. She was hoping to catch Lexa off guard, but the brunette was ready for her, easily knocking her away again. Clarke was starting to become frustrated with herself, wondering how on earth it was even possible for Lexa to keep beating her when the Commander couldn't even see.

After dying too many fake deaths to count, Clarke finally FINALLY smacked Lexa in the side with her stick when the brunette lost her footing and had to focus her energy on regaining her balance. Clarke knew that it wasn't the most ideal way for her to win, but she would take anything at this point, and so she cheered, immediately pressing her lips to Lexa's to claim her victory kiss. The Commander tensed at first, having not expected the kiss since she couldn't see anything, but she quickly relaxed into it, grabbing onto Clarke's shoulders to ground herself. The blonde quickly pushed her tongue past Lexa's lips, eager to pick up where they had left off earlier. After several long seconds, Clarke finally pulled away, not wanting the kiss to get too heated, and she realized that the sun was already high in the sky, its position signifying that noon had already come and gone close to two hours ago. "Perhaps, we should be done training for the day."

Clarke could see Lexa's eyebrow raise knowingly behind the black fabric. "You just want to end on a high note for yourself."

The blonde didn't even try to deny it, nodding her head in agreement, even though she knew the other girl couldn't see it. "You know me so well."

"I do, don't I?" Lexa remarked to herself. "I also know that you probably wish to swim in the ocean while we're here."

Blue eyes blinked in shock as Clarke wondered how in the world Lexa could have possibly known that and blindfolded, nonetheless. She was also surprised that Lexa hadn't asked her to take the blindfold off yet. With how reluctant she had been to put it on, Clarke would've thought that the first thing she would do after training would be to ask Clarke to remove it, but she seemed to have grown comfortable with it now.

"Well, I don't actually know how to swim, but I'd love to go into the ocean, yes."

"Alright, get this thing off of my head, then, and I'll go with you."

There it was. Clarke smiled as she moved around to untie the shirt from around Lexa's head, allowing the brunette to see the colors of the world again. She quickly tied it around Lexa's empty eye socket again before taking the girl's hand and dragging her in the direction of the ocean. It was only when she was about to walk in that she realized that they were still wearing their clothes. It seemed as if Lexa was going to walk right in anyway, but Clarke pulled her to a stop. Lexa shot Clarke a questioning look as the blonde bent down to take off her boots and socks. The brunette seemed to see the sense in this because she was doing it herself moments later. Clarke glanced back over the expanse of blue-green water while she waited. "Are we just going in with our clothes on?"

"Unless you wish to go in naked." Lexa stood up again with a teasing smirk on her face.

A blush spread across Clarke's cheeks at the thought, and she cleared her throat. "No, that's okay. We can keep our clothes on."

It wasn't as if Clarke had never seen Lexa naked before, but her feelings had grown a lot since then, and she didn't think that she could trust herself to keep her hands to herself if neither of them had clothes when they were completely and utterly alone like this. While Clarke struggled to think of anything else to say, Lexa continued on as if she hadn't noticed how flustered the blonde had gotten. "It is safest to go in the ocean with our clothes on anyway. It'll keep us from getting stung by the jellyfish."

Clarke nodded, easily seeing the practicality in that. She wondered why she hadn't once thought about the practical reasons to keep their clothes on or why she had even thought that they should take off their clothes in the first place. She supposed it was because she had only ever seen the people in the movies go into the water in bathing suits. It was as if she had been expecting one of those long-gone clothing articles to appear out of thin air for her to wear.

She and Lexa walked into the water side by side, and Clarke couldn't hide her excitement. The surf was a little choppier than it had appeared to be the last time Clarke had been to the beach, but she didn't mind. The push and pull of the waves seemed incredible to her, and the salty taste of the water was unlike anything she had ever tasted in her life. She refused to go out any further than waist deep because she didn't want to get swept away by the tide, but Lexa kept going until her shoulders were just barely peeking out of the water. Clarke stuck her tongue out at the older girl, but she remained right where she was.

As the waves rolled by, Clarke jumped with them to keep her head above water, and it felt like she was flying as she jumped over the particularly large ones, her feet hanging off of the ground for a second or two as she was carried up by the wave. It wasn't too long, though, before a huge wave rolled in, crashing right over Clarke's head and taking her down with it. She tried to push herself back up to the surface, but her heart raced in panic when she realized that something was holding her under, preventing her from rising. She wished she could yell out for Lexa or find some way to let the brunette know that she couldn't get back up, but there was nothing she could do other than try to get whatever had settled on top of her back off again. She accidentally sucked in a gulp of salt water, her lungs burning, when the weight finally vanished, and she pushed herself back to the surface, choking and coughing up water. Lexa was by her side in an instant, green eye round with worry, and she began patting Clarke on the back.

"Clarke, are you alright?" Lexa asked, her voice laced with concern.

"I'm fine now. I just—" She broke off, another cough wracking through her body. "What was that?"

"That is called a wave, Clarke," Lexa giggled, unable to keep the amusement out of her eye.

Clarke rolled her eyes at the other girl. "I know that was a wave, Lexa, but what was holding me under the water after I got knocked over by it?"

"The wave," Lexa said again, trying her best to hold back her laughter. "I have been knocked over by plenty in my youth to know what you experienced. They hold you under after they crash sometimes, and there's nothing you can really do to fight them. The trick is to remain calm until the water lets you back up again."

Clarke suddenly felt rather sheepish at the realization, but she still had no desire to repeat that experience anytime soon. No matter what had been holding her down, she had still been scared out of her mind in the time that she had spent underwater, and she was suddenly not so eager to remain in the ocean. "Maybe we should get out of the water now."

"And why is that, Clarke?" Lexa asked, a mischievous sparkle in her green eye.

Clarke pushed her playfully. "You know why. Maybe we can come back when the waves aren't so big."

"What are we to do now?" Lexa asked as they waded through the white surf.

"You've basically been training me all morning. How about I teach you how to shoot a gun?" Clarke suggested.

Lexa's smile suddenly fell away, replaced by a serious expression as she shook her head. "I do not ever wish to even hold a gun, Clarke. Legend once had it that if any one of us ever used such a weapon, our entire village would be wiped out by those who lived in the mountain. I know those people are long dead now, but it still does not feel right to use one."

"Okay, then. How about we just get dried off for a little while and then go look for something to eat?" Clarke tried again.

"A much better idea." Lexa nodded in approval, a carefree grin taking over her face again. "I'm starving."

"Me too," Clarke agreed as she sank down into the warm sand to dry off.

She didn't even think about the way that the sand would stick to her clothes and skin as Lexa plopped down beside her. She just allowed herself to feel the warmth of the sun on her face, and for the time being, it was as if nothing else existed.


End file.
